don't come near me anymore

Gu Xi rushed back to the community where she used to live regardless. The locust tree that Gu Xingzhi climbed when she was young had been cut down, and the dry stake stood alone. Lost house keys.

It's not cold yet, and my mother is wearing a Donna Karan cashmere cardigan, and she seems to have gained some weight.

Gu Xi subconsciously looked at herself again, it turned out that no one had put on a set of commemorative clothes for a dead person.

After opening the door, she rushed up to the attic, and took out her handbook from a pile of sundries, the pages of which had turned yellow. Her mother followed her but stood far away. She only looked at her daughter's strange behavior and asked her what she was doing. .

Gu Xi raises the notebook she treasured when she was young, which contains all her secrets and is hidden in the most hidden place by her, but now it has become an object for her to question her mother.

"Have you seen this right?"

Her mother's eyes dodged, her daughter was no longer a child, she didn't speak, it was a tacit consent.

Although Gu Xi already had an answer in her heart, she still felt despair at this moment.

So her hatred for Gu Xingzhi had no source, and it all became remorse. She looked at her mother and muttered to herself: "I used to be able to save him, but I didn't do anything, and now he is dead."

Gu Xi was covered with an old handbook, and she patted away the thick dust on the cover. The favorite cartoon stickers of Girls' Generation had been worn down by time into colorful garbage that would harden and fall off when touched. Gu's mother saw her daughter go crazy in front of her, In the end, he just raised his hand and raised the dust.

"What do you want to say."

She covered her nostrils with her hands, and frowned slightly to express her dissatisfaction with her daughter's behavior. Gu Xi could spot the vermilion gemstone in her hand at a glance. She then grabbed her mother's bag and turned on the phone under the reprimanding eyes of the other party. I can't stop feeling cold and swollen, and I want to vent my anger.

Gu Xi's eyes were full of anger, she shoved the phone back into her mother's hand, and then asked loudly: "You bought these with my brother's money just after he died!"

Gu's mother was a little dissatisfied with her attitude but still calm, she just frowned slightly and replied: "Gu Xi, have I taught you girls to be gentle?"

"You also taught me to be a man with a conscience!"

With tears in her eyes, Gu Xi looked as if she was about to cry. She bit her lower lip, and if she looked closely, she would find a slight tremor on her face. Mother Gu took a deep breath, she knew what Gu Xi meant, she just looked at it from one side Pulled an old wooden chair that was stained with dust, and waited for Gu Xi to cry enough before saying: "It is your own decision to refuse to sign, you are an adult, not a baby in the mother's arms, since you have done something bad, you have to bear it yourself responsibility."

Her words didn't make Gu Xi feel at ease, instead, she felt more and more guilt in her heart. However, she had no reason to admit her fault. She inexplicably blamed all the faults on the cold-blooded woman in front of her, so her brain suddenly After a pause, he argued: "Accept it, take this life to bear it?"

Gu Xi knew that she had exhausted her breath, even though this would not make anyone feel better, Gu's mother was really impatient, and she only said sharply, "How dare you!"

Gu Xi was not afraid that the woman in front of her would get angry. On the contrary, it was the anger of the other party that made her find a way to vent her anger. She just shouted: "If Julie dared it, why wouldn't I!"

"Snapped!"

Gu's mother raised her palm, but seeing Gu Xi's flushed face was full of tears, Gu Xi covered her face and pointed at Gu's mother, "It really is you, right?"

"I have taught you that it is basic manners not to point at others when speaking."

After all, Gu's mother is a mother. With a stern look on her face, Gu Xi felt cowardly in her heart, but she still stood up straight and said, "You are the one who caused Julie to commit suicide by jumping off the building!"

"So what if it's me, I just told that child's mother to take care of her child, did I do something wrong?"

It was hard for Gu Xi to figure out that it was her mother who said, "Aren't you wrong?" She only asked, but never dared to point at Gu's mother.

Gu's mother's eyes were sharp, she was not angry, but when she looked at Gu Xi, she could see the shadow of herself many years ago in her clean eyes. She finally relaxed, and although her tone was still not softened, it was true. Explanation: "How old were you when you couldn't even wash your clothes and you were eager to announce your sexuality to the world, and you probably thought it was cool, or you had a 'special identity' , But people have to be responsible for their own actions, you have no idea how deeply this society has colored glasses for special groups.”

Gu's mother breathed a sigh of relief, and then she said with some mother's earnestness and earnestness, she used the old experience as helplessness in her words: "You have never been discriminated against or treated as a different kind. So you don't understand what it feels like, but I am your mother and I have an obligation to keep my daughter safe from harm."

Although that is wrong.

Gu Xi murmured for a while, but she didn't understand her mother's helplessness. To her, a mistake was a mistake. It was a living person who committed suicide because of her mother.

Just like Gu Xingzhi died because of himself.

This is sin!

Gu Xi turned her head to look at the window, there was nothing good about the attic, even the protective fence was old and crumbling, the downstairs hadn't been inhabited a long time ago, if she jumped from here she might not die, but she would definitely be disabled.

However, her legs were fixed as if they were filled with lead. She didn't have the courage, and she definitely didn't have the ability. This is the usual extreme of young people.

Gu's mother probably thought of something, her eyes were swollen, she looked up at the lamp in the attic to be repaired, and then she suddenly remembered something and said: "It's not good for two girls to love each other. They don't even have a broken lamp when they live together." People repair."

She shook her head and went downstairs, Gu Xi was alone upstairs, Gu's mother had already walked downstairs, but she suddenly turned her head and said, "Have you visited your brother?"

Gu Xi was stunned and didn't reply. Gu's mother understood her temper, and knew that she would only feel more guilty now, so she said, "I've been there."

"But you also refused to sign..."

Gu Xi's knees went limp for a moment and she knelt upstairs. There was a "bang" that stirred up a lot of dust. Gu's mother's voice faded away, but she could still hear her words clearly. She said, "He took off the oxygen mask himself, you don't have to be too self-conscious." I don’t save him because he doesn’t want to live.”

"Whether he wants to or not, I didn't do what I should do..."

Mother Gu probably wanted to comfort her and said, "He killed someone and did something wrong, so he should be punished."

However, her words didn't have much effect. Ye Qiao's sentence "Only the law can punish Gu Xingzhi" seemed to be a curse, and all Gu Xi did was to find a legitimate one for Gu Xi who failed to save Gu Xingzhi. The reason, but Gu Xi is very clear at this time, these are all excuses, and the only real thing is that Gu Xingzhi died, and she refused to sign.

She's stuck in this dead end.

But suddenly I heard Gu's mother's voice after a long thought: "Your brother's diary is also upstairs, you can read it yourself."

……

She didn't dare, but after sitting for a long time, she still went to find out the small box containing Gu Xingzhi's things.

At the bottom of the box was his six-year-old diary. It didn't even have a cover, it was just a very ordinary little homework book, and the handwriting was still in pencil. Gu Xingzhi's handwriting when he was a child was very fair and he put his heart into it.

As soon as Gu Xi opened it and caught her eye, she immediately closed the homework book, her heart ached:

On March [-], it was sunny.

"I have a younger sister, and I want to give her all the good things..."

She casually took another copy, only to see:

On February [-], it was sunny.

"Today, another family moved back from the community. I saw a child quietly picking up the garbage and putting it in the bag, and was scolded by his mother. By the way, that child is very clean. His surname seems to be Ye?"

It's Ye Qiao...

She watched a lot more, but her heart started to panic. She suddenly wanted to call Gu Xingzhi, but no one would answer the phone...

She couldn't suppress the urge to cry, and tried every means of atonement in this short period of time until she turned to the last book.

"I can't leave here. This incident is not my fault, but only by leaving can I be with Xiaoye. I can't lose him anymore, otherwise I will really be alone."

Why are you alone, bro...

Gu Xi finally burst into tears, and on this day, she realized that she had a share in all the despair that Gu Xingzhi suffered.