The Swan Bay Murders

I’m back here again, obviously it’s been cleaned up, but I still seem to be able to see the blood on the ground and Berlin hanging on the wall.

His death may haunt me for the rest of my life, but it may not be too long, because I always feel that I may not live long.

After my mother passed away a few years ago, Berlin became my only family. Now that I am alone, the world is meaningless to me.

Without spiritual support, there is no reason to live.

I don't even know why I'm still standing here, shouldn't I have followed Berlin?

The person behind me patted me on the shoulder, I was startled, and I turned around to see Xu Zhao.

If anyone else cares about me now, he may be the only one left.

But I owe Xu Zhao too.

For so many years, why hasn't he been in love and why has he always been so good to me? I'm not a fool, I understand.

It's just that I can't give him any response.

Maybe there is such a person in everyone's life, you like him very much, cherish him very much, but you will never be with him.You are reluctant to fall in love with him, because once you break up, you may lose him from now on.

I am like this to Xu Zhao, being a family member is the best choice.

I used to think I didn't understand his hints until I met Berlin and my love. I told Xu Zhao that I hope he can also meet a real lover.

I always remember his wry smile at that time, and it made me feel guilty.

Another thing that made me very guilty when facing him was that I never mentioned my illness to him, so when the accident happened in Berlin, he always urged me to go to the hospital for an examination.

Thinking about it, I was afraid that I would also be infected.

I wanted to tell him not to worry about me, but when I opened my mouth, nothing came out.

Xu Zhao went to the balcony to call the part-time worker. I looked back at Brother Bai Chuan and found that he was looking at the house very seriously.

"We bought all the furniture ourselves, and Berlin personally selected it." Those days when we worked hard for our home every day are happy in retrospect today.

Brother Bai Chuan didn't say anything, and looked up upstairs.

"That's the bedroom." I frowned secretly, that's my room with Berlin, to be honest, I don't want to let him live there, even if it's only for one night.

"Okay." He took off his shoes and entered the room, and put the suitcase aside, "I'll sleep on the sofa tonight, you just pack up the things in the bedroom."

I am grateful for his generosity to allow me to hug the quilt that Berlin once covered for the last time.

My nose is a little sore, and I can't help complaining that I have been getting weaker and weaker recently. This is probably the most troublesome problem in me for Berlin.

I don't know if he still worries about me now.

After Xu Zhao made the call, he said that the hourly worker would come over in an hour. I didn't keep him and sent him out.

Walking downstairs, Xu Zhao said to me: "Have you thought about what you will do in the future? Jiang Luo, Xing Bolin is not everything to you. I have been sad these days, and the tears are almost shed. It is time to think about yourself. "

I didn't know how to respond to him because I didn't think about it that much.

The things in front of me are enough to consume all my energy. I just want to hold a picture of Berlin and have a good sleep. I hope that everything is a dream when I wake up. My Berlin has come back from get off work and is taking off my coat.

"I want to have a good chat with you." Xu Zhao leaned on the car door and looked at me, "Can you give me some time?"

When facing Xu Zhao, I always don't know what to do so as not to hurt him, but now I really don't want to talk about it.

"Wait," I said, "Give me a break."

He looked at me deeply, nodded helplessly and got into the car.

"Xu Zhao." I stopped him and asked unwillingly, "Did Berlin really commit suicide?"

"You don't believe me?" he asked me back.

"I know I shouldn't doubt the police's conclusion, but..." I hesitated, because Xu Zhao's expression made me feel that I had hurt his heart again.

"Jiang Luo, I really don't like Xing Bolin, and the reason is very simple, because he took you away." Xu Zhao's words were sonorous, and he seemed to be pissed off by me, "But I'm a policeman, and I should have taken this case." Avoided, why not, have you thought about it?"

I don't understand their regulations, but I did have doubts about Xu Zhao being in charge of the Berlin case.

"Because I want to minimize the harm to you from this incident, and I want to protect you, do you understand that!" He slammed the car door hard and walked away.

I think Xu Zhao did something wrong, and I can understand his desire to protect me, but if what he told me is the truth, no matter what he does, I will be hurt.

I smoked a cigarette outside, which I got from Brother Bai Chuan.

I finally burned my finger, threw away the cigarette butt, and walked into the building.

Today is probably the last time, starting tomorrow I will leave here and never come back.

Regarding the matter of Berlin, I still have to go to Xu Zhao to find out what happened. What happens next?

Even I don't know.

The road ahead should belong to two people. I planned well to grow old together.

I want to find a chance to take him to visit my mother's grave, let her see my boyfriend, so that she can rest assured.

But now, my mother and my boyfriend are gone, never to come back.

I haven't had time to introduce them to each other. If they meet in the underworld, I don't know if they will have a chance to talk about me.

Back home, Brother Bai Chuan was flipping through the books on the shelf.

Berlin and I like to stay at home during the holidays, he plays games, I read books, read recipes when I am hungry, and I will do what I like.

I like to cook for him, or I like to do anything for him.

There is still a piece of fish in the refrigerator at home, and there is not much rice left, but it is enough for us to eat for two days.

I put on my apron and said to Brother Bai Chuan: "There is only one fish left, I don't know if you like it or not."

He froze for a moment, then nodded and said, "Thank you for your hard work."

I watched him put down the book in his hand, and then walked over: "I'm not very good at cooking fish, I'll cook for you, and if you need help, just call me."

Seeing him come in, I hurriedly said, "No need, I can do it myself."

"It's okay." He glanced at me, then went to put the rice in a small iron basin, took the water and said, "I haven't cooked rice for my brother yet."

After he finished speaking, we were all silent.

The atmosphere in the kitchen was a bit subdued, and I was thinking about Berlin while I was handling the fish.

This fish is frozen very honestly, and it seems that it will not melt for a while. It was bought from Berlin, because I saw the method of making grilled fish a few days ago and said that I would try it at home on the weekend.

Unfortunately, he couldn't eat it.

Tears dripped into the water again, and I quickly raised my hand to wipe them away.

I used to not be a person who likes to cry, because these years have not been very good, and I am used to the gloomy life. I know that tears can't solve any problems, otherwise why would my mother leave that home.

My life was full of chaos and darkness, and all the tragedies in my life were caused by it, but Berlin pulled me out of it and brought me into the light.

Now, maybe it's time for me to hide, wipe away the useless tears, and go back to my original life.

We waited a long time for our meal and started packing up after we were done.

Brother Bai Chuan went outside and bought a lot of sorting boxes. I looked at those items and was reluctant to put them in.

In the photo of me and Berlin, he is sitting on the grass, I am standing beside him, he is laughing and hugging my leg, the sunshine seems to only appear in the painting.

It was of us hanging out with his undergrad roommates, and there are very few pictures of us, and this is his favorite one.

"Let me tidy it up, you go and have a rest." Brother Bai Chuan probably saw my sadness, took the photo frame from my hand, put away the bracket behind it, and put it into a cardboard box.

I don't know if this photo will have a chance to see the light again, maybe I've moved and I won't open this box again.

It's all about memories of Berlin, and I really don't have the courage to face it.

Until the evening, it was dark, and I was so tired that I had no strength at all.

In fact, I hardly did anything, but I just felt tired.

I took a shower early and went to bed. The things in the bedroom were almost packed, only the furniture and bedding remained.

I'm going to sell them all because the guy who picked them up is gone.

Things are changing, I really can't bear it.

Berlin and I have always shared a quilt, and today is the first time I have been lying in his quilt.

Tired but unable to sleep.

I looked at the ceiling, thinking about the nights we slept together, whether Berlin ever suffered from insomnia, and what he was thinking when he was insomnia.

I reached out and put the palm of my hand on my pussy, and there was never any reaction there, which was sad.

I tentatively rubbed it lightly, but before I did it a few times, I gagged.

I gave up, bit the quilt, and clenched my fists.

I'm such a damn person.