The Swan Bay Murders

What does sex mean to me? This is a question that Yi Li and I have been discussing for a long time.

I used to think that it shouldn't appear in my world at all, it's dirty, evil, disgusting, full of disgusting taste.

I have always been very extreme in dealing with this matter.

Not accepted, extremely repelled.

Yi Li said: "There is a knot in your heart, I can untie it for you, but you have to cooperate with me with all your strength."

No one knew what I was going through during the period of treatment, Yi Li probably knew, but he didn't fully understand it either.

I thought there was no hope of recovery, because "healing" didn't mean anything to me.

But then, life changed, relationships changed, and I longed to heal because I had someone I wanted to hug.

Probably, as Yi Li said, after Berlin died and Brother Bai Chuan entered my life, I became braver.

In fact, if you received treatment a few years ago, you may not get better.

It's just that we didn't dare, didn't even think about it, and didn't try it. This is the root cause of the tragedy.

Now.Brother Bai Chuan hugged me, his hand caressed my face, it was warm and sweaty.

I told him I wanted to try it, and maybe I became braver.

I held my breath, and he carefully kissed my ear, but he still refused to take the next step.

I was already a little panicked, with my hands spread out on both sides of my body, trying to hug him, but I couldn't lift it up.

"Are you afraid?" Brother Bai Chuan's tone was extremely gentle, which made my eyes warm and I gained strength.

I hugged him, rubbed against his neck, and tried to make my voice smile and said: "If it's you, I'm not afraid of anything."

He seemed agitated and turned to kiss me.

I fell in love with kissing him, because each kiss was not so intense but tender.

The warm breath that hit my face seemed to seep into my skin, warming my whole body all the way.

He probably worried too much, and even asked me for instructions on the next move.

I pinched his face, laughed at him and said, "I'm not porcelain, and I won't break. Why are you so worried?"

He just looked at me deeply and kissed my forehead lovingly.

Going on like this is not an option, I finally mustered up the courage, if I don’t do it this time, it might not be the next time.

My idea is very simple, I love him, since it is possible to succeed, why not try hard.

It seems that there are very few people who fall in love like us. It's just a love, and there is a kind of tragic feeling.

Thinking of this, I really couldn't help laughing.

His hands were caressing my waist through the fabric, making me itchy.

"What's wrong?" he asked me.

I leaned forward and kissed his lips lightly, and said, "We don't seem to want to make love, but we seem to be going to die."

He smiled too, and then slipped his hand under the hem of my shirt.

When his palm touched my skin without barriers, I admit, I started to get nervous.

Something was about to come out of my chest, I could only open my eyes wide, breathe hard, and suppress that weird feeling.

"You're sweating." He stroked my back with one hand, and unbuttoned my clothes from bottom to top with the other.

Every part of my body seemed to be gradually sinking into the icy water, as if after a while, it would be frozen.

"Are you afraid?" He asked me again.

I couldn't speak for a long time, and he stopped moving.

The hand that unbuttoned the clothes was pulled out, and he groped to shake my hand. My fingertips were cold and clenched into fists. He directly wrapped my fists in his palms, very hard, which brought me back to my senses.

"I'm afraid." I couldn't deceive myself, "but I still want to continue."

In the second half of the sentence, I don't know where the courage came from.

But the only thing I can be sure of is that I am just afraid now, when Brother Bai Chuan makes every movement, even if I think about the things that will come later, I don't feel sick.

The once-triggering demon seemed to be gone, and all I needed to overcome was the psychological fear.

I propped up my knees and rubbed against his swollen crotch: "Do you really want me?"

He frowned when I rubbed against him, and finally stopped timidly, and tore open my shirt.

The buttons snapped and bounced all the way to the door.

The crisp sound drew my attention to it.

Brother Bai Chuan pinched my chin to make me turn back, and ordered: "Look at me."

I was stunned for a moment, and I have to say that a man like Brother Bai Chuan is really attractive when he becomes tough.

Gentle yet tough, such a person really fascinates me.

I no longer feel cold, and raised my hand to untie his belt.

Perhaps because he didn't expect that I would be so proactive, he squeezed my chin even harder.

"It hurts." I said as I untied his belt.

Brother Bai Chuan let me go, straightened up and knelt on the bed, and took off only a pair of underwear under my naked gaze.

Pure black boxer briefs with a big bulging bag on the front.

I was overwhelmed with nervousness when he came over and put his hand on the hem of my jeans.

"No regrets," he said.

Without any hesitation, I pushed away his hand and took off my pants.

This is my determination, and I want him to know.

I lay in front of him in my unbuttoned shirt and white briefs, looking at him without hesitation.

I should be ashamed at the moment, but I have forgotten the shame.

He caresses my leg, then slowly upwards, into the triangle.

He leaned forward and passionately kissed my side face, my neck, my chest, and my navel.

I gritted my teeth tightly and stared at the ceiling with wide eyes.

It felt so weird, like something was about to rush out of my mouth, my chest, my body.

I dare not touch him, I can only grab the sheet.

He was still going down, to the lower abdomen.

I suddenly grabbed his shoulders and looked at each other. I could see the desire in his eyes clearly.

I know it's a bummer, but I'm reminded of the bad times. I think of my goddamn dad and the ex-boyfriend who died and insisted on telling me he cheated on me.

The pictures I saw and imagined all squeezed into my mind.

His hand was held again, and he asked me, "Are you okay?"

It was Brother Bai Chuan's voice.

I broke free from my imagination, got up and rushed to hug him.

With the shirt still hanging on, he patted my back through it.

"I'm sorry, but if we don't want to do it, we won't do it."

I gasped violently, and with all my might, I threw him onto the bed, ripped off my shirt, and kissed him like he kissed me.

There is no desire in my heart, but my body has reacted.

I heard Brother Bai Chuan's suppressed but still clear panting, which really helped me.

I was between his legs, as he had just done.

After a moment of hesitation, my palm covered his desire.

Feeling the heat through my panties, I leaned forward and kissed it.

I have no memory of when we were naked against each other.

I only remember that after I kissed Brother Bai Chuan's genitals, I was pressed on the bed again by him.

My nipples, my penis, and the tip of my ass are all his kisses and saliva.

His mouth was wrapped around my never-before-seen penis, and I didn't dare to look over it, because desire had already crept up to my heart along that part.

For the first time in my life, I felt the desire to have sex in my heart.

Soon, I began to feel uncontrollable and wanted to release. I pushed Brother Bai Chuan away vigorously, but as soon as he left, my desire, which was still hot enough to erupt just now, was extinguished.

I couldn't ejaculate, so I turned over and rubbed my hard penis on the sheet repeatedly.

Brother Bai Chuan covered me behind me, stretched out his hand in front, held it, and fiddled with it.

"Jiang Luo." He called my name, "Am I the only one who has seen you like this?"

I was so ashamed that I lay on my stomach and refused to say anything.

He chuckled, pushed me to lie flat on my back, bent over my crotch, and said to me, "I'll suck it out for you, it's okay, don't hide."

After he finished speaking, he leaned forward without waiting for my response.

First, he licked the shaft all over, and then took my genitals deeply.

My cock, which I was too ashamed to touch, was frantic in his mouth, I closed my eyes, trembling, and shot stream after stream of cum into his mouth.

I didn't have the face to see him, and grabbed the pillow and pressed it against my face.

Brother Bai Chuan coughed for a while, then came over and hugged me, grabbed my pillow without any explanation and threw it aside.

He kissed me with a salty taste in his mouth.

That's my smell, from my body.

He kneaded my buttocks vigorously, his tongue exited my mouth, and said to me, "I'm going to continue."

We didn't make any preparations, and after looking through the drawers for a long time, he had to hold my big treasure and smile wryly at me.

"It's cheap, don't worry about using it." I was actually so nervous that I was almost speechless, but in order not to worry him, I tried my best to make a joke with him.

After that, I took the initiative to lie on the bed, blushing and hesitating whether to raise my butt.

He took a bite on the tip of my ass, then sucked again.

Said to me: "Your body is beautiful."

Brother Bai Chuan who said such nasty words disturbed my heartbeat and breathing. Although it is embarrassing, I like him very much.

Compared to him, I am too easily shy. At this moment, I dare not look at his body carefully.

I was still lying on my stomach, and he opened my buttocks in a green way to expand for me.

It hurts so much that I can't stand it.

But I can't say the words to stop, it's my determination, I'm going to let him know.

Sex is not as contemptible or dirty as I thought. When Brother Bai Chuan entered me, it seemed that I really bid farewell to the former Li Jiangluo.

Without any resistance, I greeted him with unexpected joy.

He hugged me and buried himself deep in my body.

I turned around, kissed him, and said in my heart that I love him over and over again.

This sex was more of a ritual for me, we were both finally born again.

Feeling dizzy, I heard Brother Bai Chuan whispering in my ear.

He said, "I love you."