The Swan Bay Murders

I suffered from insomnia again, this time because of Brother Bai Chuan.

In fact, I have thought many times why Berlin likes me, why it is so difficult, but still wants to be with me.

I didn't ask him, and I couldn't think of an answer myself.

This question has been forgotten by me after Berlin left, but when I walked to the door of Brother Bai Chuan and heard him say "How is it possible, how can I like him", I don't know why, I think he is saying I.

Maybe it was because I was being sentimental, but at that moment I felt very uncomfortable.

I was suddenly very confused. Even when my mother passed away, I was not as confused as I am now. I don't know what I can bring to others, and I don't know what I have that deserves to be treated well by others.

I can't help but think, Brother Bai Chuan has done so many things for me, and he is gentle and caring on the surface, could it be that he is actually tired of me long ago?

Looking back, it seems that I really have been causing trouble for others.

I really, am a burden.

I looked out the window, and the street lamps dyed the sky orange.

There was no light in the room, but it didn't feel dark either.

When I was with Berlin, he would often get up at night, and we used to keep a night light on.

After coming here, it seemed that other family members did not have this habit, and I could no longer sleep in the dark room, so I started not to draw the curtains.

With the moonlight and street lamps, I can sleep peacefully.

Tossing and turning in bed, unable to fall asleep, was extremely uncomfortable.

Only those who have experienced insomnia know how sad it is. They are obviously very tired, but they just can't fall asleep.

I lifted the quilt and got off the bed, took out a cigarette from my pocket, and there was only the last one left.

I don't want to bother to go to the balcony. If I go there now, Zai Zai will definitely wake up and scream non-stop, and then wake up my uncle and aunt.

I stood by the bed, lit a cigarette, and before I had taken a few puffs, I saw Brother Bai Chuan's car driving over.

I checked the time, he had been out for almost two hours.

I don't know what's wrong with me, so worried about gains and losses.

My eyes followed the car until it disappeared in front of the garage door.

I stubbed out the cigarette, walked lightly to the door, and put my ears on the door like a thief.

Soon, I heard the sound of the door opening, it was Brother Bai Chuan who came back.

He was trying to avoid making a sound, and his every move was very quiet.

I suddenly felt like a psychopathic voyeur, afraid to go out, so I could only hide and satisfy my desires in this way.

My, some shameless desire...

I suddenly stood up straight, and I couldn't believe it was my own behavior.

The footsteps outside were getting closer and closer, and then stopped nearby. I heard the sound of opening the door, and then the door was closed quickly.

I asked myself: Li Jiangluo, what are you doing?

I opened my mouth, took a deep breath, and went back to bed.

It's really uncomfortable to keep my eyes open until dawn. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is to look in the mirror to see if I've become the ghost-like person I was in the past few months.

Fortunately, it's just that I haven't slept all night, and I have dark circles under my eyes, but everything else is fine.

I breathed a sigh of relief, I really don't want to let people worry about it anymore.

Today I'm going to meet Yi Li, but it's not for treatment, he wants me to go shopping with him.

I refused to come at first, after all, I really don't like shopping.

But he said pitifully that he was not familiar with the place here, and he didn't know where to go when he wanted to buy things.

I'm not good at rejecting people, so I had to bite the bullet and agree.

I ran away after breakfast, and didn't even dare to say a word to Brother Bai Chuan.

I was obviously fine, but I acted like I had a ghost in my heart.

It feels so subtle, it's hard to say.

When I went out, I heard him ask me where I was going. I panicked, pretended not to hear, put on my shoes and ran out.

He said something later, I didn't catch it clearly, but I regretted it a bit, and I should have listened to it before leaving.

Yi Li said that the person he likes is going to have his birthday soon, and he wants to buy a special gift.

I'm not good at giving gifts at all, just like I'm not good at saying no to people.

Being dragged around the mall by Yi Li, I always feel that he is more familiar with this place than I am.

When he was picking out gifts, I suddenly remembered that Xu Zhao's birthday was coming soon, and I checked the memo on the phone, and it was next week.

I was very entangled, I had such a quarrel with him, and later he came to me and said that he wanted to chat, saying that he only met for a meal, and he would never say anything I didn't want to hear.

But I still didn't go.

Strange to say, I always say that I will not reject others, but these days, it seems that I have been rejecting him non-stop.

Or buy a gift.

It has been a habit for many years to give him a wallet on his birthday.

From middle school to now, the unused wallet in Xu Zhao's family can probably be sold, because not only on birthdays, but also on any day when I need to give him a gift, I give this thing.

Because I am too lazy to think, too lazy to choose.

This year is no exception.

Yi Li bought a wallet for someone he likes here, and I just happened to like one and thought it was suitable for Xu Zhao, so I bought it with him.

After shopping, I wanted to go home, but when I thought that I would inevitably face Brother Bai Chuan after I went back, I felt very confused.

I don't know what's wrong with me, this period of time is starting to make me hate myself.

"Go to the movies!" Yi Li pointed to the poster opposite, "Today is the first day of release."

I looked in the direction he pointed. I wasn't interested in a romance movie.

"Let's go!" Yi Li seemed to be in a good mood, and I was too embarrassed to spoil his interest, so I had no choice but to follow.

However, not long after the movie started, he answered a phone call and ran away, leaving me alone in the dark movie theater with a big bucket of popcorn he bought in my arms.

I originally wanted to just leave, but looking at the time, if I leave now, not only will I have to go home and continue to be embarrassed, but also a waste of movie ticket money.

I suddenly became a miser, and I smiled when I thought about it.

While eating popcorn, I seriously watched this movie that I was not interested in.

The plot is clichéd and the logic is full of loopholes, but the girl next to her cried.

I observed my surroundings intentionally, and I was probably the only one who was not in the state.

I can't understand how the hero and heroine in the film fall in love with each other, and I can't understand why they can't speak well if they have something to say, and they have to make misunderstandings one after another before giving up.

Is love really so frustrating?

I thought of myself.

My love seems to be okay, there are not so many ups and downs and twists and turns in the process, but it gave me a hard time at the end.

I suddenly remembered that sentence: Every unfortunate family has its own misfortune.

In other words, broken love has its own reasons.

The movie is over, and the picture freezes on the male and female protagonists embracing each other. The sunset and flying birds, accompanied by the slowly playing ending song, is really romantic.

I've been sitting here listening to the entire song, and I have to say, it's a good song, and the lyrics are very poignant.

We think about love too beautifully

It's too simple to accompany

But I don't know how lonely life is when the years make people old

How well said, a person's life, no matter what, is not a lonely person in the end.

I walked out of the theater, looked at the time, turned around and bought tickets for the next show, although it seemed boring, I still watched the movie again.

I still don't think it's a good movie, but this time, I learned to focus on their feelings instead of finding fault.

When I first watched it, I felt that this love came inexplicably, but when I think about it seriously, many times, many feelings are born suddenly, and even you yourself can't explain why you fell in love.

If love can explain why, it is probably not true love.

Just like each of us has carefully described the appearance of our future lover, but one day, we meet a person who does not meet any of our mate selection criteria, but we love him to the extreme.

This movie with a ticket price of 42 yuan has the most old-fashioned plot in the world.

The two people who loved each other separated because of a misunderstanding. Many years later, they met again in the square where the pigeons were flying.

Uninspiring plot and graphics, but I have to admit that this time I was moved, because at least the last hug looked sincere to my eyes.

I folded my arms around my chest, and my temples ached.

I found myself suddenly unable to remember when was the last time I hugged someone.

It seems like a really long time has passed.

On the way home, Brother Bai Chuan called and asked me if I would go back for dinner. Only then did I notice that it was almost six o'clock.

"I'm on my way home." I held my mobile phone in one hand, and the handle of the bus ring in the other. I hung a paper bag on my wrist, which contained the birthday present I bought for Xu Zhao.

"Okay, mom is ready to cook, and you should be able to eat it when you come back."

"Hmm." After I answered, I didn't know what else to say.

He seemed to be at a loss for words, and it took a long time before he said softly: "Be careful on the road, don't worry."

"it is good."

I hung up the phone and looked out the window. A young couple in school uniform walked by holding hands.

Both of them were carrying schoolbags on their shoulders, with their arms leaning together, talking and laughing, walking unhurriedly on the street in the evening.

It seems that the noisy world around them has nothing to do with them. In their world at this moment, there is only the little happiness secretly hidden at the fingertips of each other.

I suddenly felt as if I saw love again.