Severe Emotional Cleanliness Mutual Aid Group

When Qin Songye saw Song Zhijing again, it was in a private restaurant.

Not long after he left the film crew, Song Zhijing found out about his rebirth from nowhere, and approached him straight away.

Then he was scolded by Qin Songye and kicked out.

After that, except for occasional glimpses on TV, Qin Songye hadn't seen him for a long time.

Qin Songye no longer has any feelings for Song Zhijing, no love or hate, obviously it has only been more than a year, but he feels like a lifetime away.In fact, he didn't like Song Zhijing much before, it was more of a kind of going with the flow and a habit of going with the flow over time.Therefore, when he met Song Zhijing again, he didn't react at all, just like seeing a stranger who had nothing to do with him.

However, Song Zhijing changed from his previous arrogance and nodded friendly to him.Seeing that he was so polite, Qin Songye didn't want to be too rude, so he nodded politely.

When he was about to walk away, Song Zhijing grabbed his wrist.Feeling his touch, Qin Songye frowned reflexively, and threw him away.Seeing the disgust on Qin Songye's face, Song Zhi smiled bitterly and said, "I have no other intentions, just want to say a few words to you."

Qin Songye said coldly: "I have nothing to say to you."

Song Zhi choked for a moment, then said, "Feng Yao is married, do you know?"

Feng Yao is Bai Yueguang's name.

Qin Songye frowned and said, "Cheat marriage?"

Song Zhi shook his head in shock, "No, marry his boyfriend."

Hearing this, Qin Songye became a little curious.

He could see Feng Yao's feelings for Song Zhijing.And how much Song Zhijing cared about Feng Yao, he couldn't be more clear.To him in the past, Feng Yao was the lingering white moonlight beside his boyfriend, but to him now, he was just an old friend of no importance, the unlucky protagonist in a gossip story.

So Qin Songye asked with a mentality of inquiring gossip: "I thought you..."

Song Zhi smiled in shock, "He has been waiting for me for too many years, and he said he couldn't wait any longer."

Qin Songye said: "I always knew that he was waiting for you. I thought he would wait forever. I didn't expect him to have a day. So, what did you do that made him finally decide to give up? ?”

Song Zhijing looked very depressed, completely lost the unrestrained and unrestrained attitude of Guangfeng Jiyue before. He lost a lot of weight, his figure looked a little scrawny, his face was out of shape, his cheeks were sunken, and his bones were bristling. Leaning against the wall, there was an obvious tiredness in his voice, "That's a long story, would you like to hear me tell it slowly?"

Qin Songye raised his hand and looked at his watch, and then said directly: "I have limited time, so you'd better make a long story short."

Song Zhi twitched the corners of his mouth in shock, revealing a smile uglier than crying.

"Xiao Yao and I have known each other since we were young. The elders of the two families are family friends. Over the past few decades, he has participated in all the important moments in my life. He is almost a part of my life. No matter who is standing next to me I can't take his place, and he has been selflessly tolerant of me and helped me get through all the difficult hurdles."

Qin Songye sneered and said: "You are so cruel to him, but now you are here to beautify his forbearance and grievance into selfless dedication?! Do you still want to send him a pennant?!"

Song Zhijing trembled. He supported the washstand with his hands, took two deep breaths, then pulled the corners of his mouth, nodded and said: "I know that I have been cruel to him and hurt him all the time, but I have never I thought about letting him go, but pretended not to understand his feelings, and imprisoned him by my side as a friend."

Qin Songye looked at him coldly without saying a word.

Song Zhi's eyes were so red that he almost cried blood, but he continued: "When I was in high school, I had a girlfriend for the first time. At that time we lived in the school, and he shared the dormitory with me, sleeping on my upper bunk, every day. Just lying on it quietly, listening to my girlfriend and I talking on the phone. Sometimes I will take him with me on a date with my girlfriend, and he will silently follow behind us. Later, when I broke up with my girlfriend, he would Hide with me on the rooftop to drink, hold me so that I don't feel sad."

Qin Songye looked at his watch and asked, "So when exactly did you know his feelings for you?"

Song Zhi stared at the void, as if he was describing the past through the boundless time, he said: "I knew it a long time ago, when we were still in junior high school, once he came to my house Doing homework, it was too late, so he stayed at my house and slept in the same bed with me, and then he secretly kissed me in the middle of the night."

Qin Songye always felt that Song Zhijing knew Feng Yao's feelings, but he didn't expect him to know so long ago.However, on the premise of knowing all this, he tied him by his side in the name of friendship, and just tortured him alive like this, while he talked about one love after another.

Qin Songye said coldly: "You are a fucking scum."

Song Zhijing was not angry, but nodded and said: "Yes, I am indeed a scumbag. I knew his feelings for me at the time, but I didn't realize my feelings for him. At that time, I thought it was impossible for me to fall in love with The same sex, I feel that I am a straight man through and through, and I feel that all my care and concern for him are just pure friendship. At that time, I couldn’t respond to him, but I didn’t want to lose him, so I kept pretending not to know this matter."

Qin Songye: "Then why did you..."

Song Zhi looked at Qin Songye in surprise, with tender affection in his eyes: "Later, I entered the entertainment circle, and began to come into contact with all kinds of bizarre people and things, and gradually got to know a lot of people of the same sex. A little boy had a one-night stand, and he thought it was good in terms of sexual experience, so he got in touch with this aspect later. But I still think that I am a pure straight man psychologically, just for the sake of being different Sexual feelings, just having sex with some young boys. I know you want to ask me, since men are physically acceptable, why don’t you try it with Xiao Yao. Because at that time, in my opinion, same-sex sex was only temporary Indulgence and pleasure, once I find a girlfriend I really like, I will completely sever these relationships. And if I have a physical relationship with him, but I end up marrying a woman, then I will lose him completely, even Friends couldn’t make it either. It was also during that time that he felt unbearable, so he went to India for spiritual practice. I really thought that I would eventually find a woman I fell in love with, get married and have children with him.”

"Until I met you."

Qin Songye frowned, but did not interrupt him.

Song Zhijing continued: "At first I didn't take it seriously, I just wanted to have fun with you, and I thought I'd break up with you after a while when I got tired of it. But later, I couldn't help being attracted to you, and I started to be sincere. I sank into it, and I even thought about going on like this with you."

"But then Xiao Yao came back."

Qin Songye sneered: "Don't put on such an infatuated look, you are just eating from the bowl and looking at the pot, saying that you love everyone and can't let go, but in fact the only one you love the most is yourself Song Zhijing, tell me, who are you worthy of in this life? You have failed me and Feng Yao."

Song Zhijing's face turned paler again, he did not refute Qin Songye, but continued: "At that time, Xiao Yao came back from India, and he was still by my side silently as before, without saying anything to me. Excessive demands. I feel very guilty for him. I know his feelings, but I still can’t bear to let him really leave me, and let him see me with you. If I am really like I always thought , psychologically a straight man through and through, it is impossible to fall in love with anyone of the same sex, then maybe I can not feel so guilty. I can see Xiao Yao's sadness, but I have no choice but to pretend that I don't know, and then try my best Treat him well, try our best to make up for him, and try our best to help his career as much as possible."

"He is calm and gentle most of the time, but occasionally, when I mention you, his mood will become very bad, he will mock me with cold words, and he will say that he never wants to see me again. This It scares me so much, I can't bear to lose him, when he went to India, I knew he still had me in his heart, knew he would come back one day, so I didn't worry at all, I even rarely To contact him. But when he said he never wanted to see me again, I felt a kind of fear that I never had before."

"So, since then, I seldom talked about you with him. If I accidentally mentioned you, or he deliberately mentioned you, I would use a mocking tone to describe you, but I didn't have that in my heart thought, but at the time, it was the only way to appease him."

Qin Songye sneered and said: "You know what? I have never felt any hostility or hatred from him? But I can see that he has hatred in his heart, so now the problem comes, if the person he hates is not Me, who would that be?"

Song Zhi was startled, crying and laughing: "I know, I know he hates me, I also know he loves me, I know it's too late to realize it, it's too late, he has completely given up on me. When you asked When I was with you, half of what I said was sincere, and half was out of anger."

Qin Songye interjected: "I know, the part where he is very important to you is sincere, and I will leave if I want to, and you are acting angry if you don't keep me."

"But what's the use of explaining that now? Even if you are sincere to me, you are also sincere to him, but what's the use of such cheap sincerity? Song Zhijing, you can't have your cake and eat it too. Those who want to have both will be choked to death."

Song Zhi was startled with tears streaming down his eyes, he choked up and said, "I'm sorry, Songye, I'm sorry."

Qin Songye interrupted him coldly, "The part about how he figured out how to leave you later, if you still don't talk about it, I'll leave if you don't."

Song Zhi said with a startled hoarse voice: "After the farce of the crew, I found out that you didn't really die, so I found you, and you ignored me and scolded me away. Actually, I wasn't I came alone, and he was waiting for me downstairs. After I went down, I hugged him and cried, saying how much I love you and how sad I was. He didn’t lose his temper, just accompanied me quietly, whatever I hugged him. During the later period, I was very sad, drank a lot of wine every day, hugged him and cried when I drank too much, and finally one day, he couldn't stand it anymore, he cried and told me that he had treated me for so many years Then he cried and said that his love for me has been wiped out by me."

"Later, he left very quickly and met a person who had a similar experience with him. The two of them were just sympathetic to each other and comforted each other, but in the end they fell in love with each other. I went to him, and he changed a lot. He looks silent and forbearing, he seems to be shining, his whole body is full of happiness and joy."

"He said he had completely let go of me.

"He said he forgave me."

Qin Songye looked at his watch again, thinking that Zhou Gu should wait in a hurry, so he said coldly: "The thing I look down on the most in my life is that you say that everyone is true love, over and over again People who tell their own feelings are of their own choice and difficulties. Even if you really fell in love with two people at the same time, shouldn’t you swing a knife at yourself and cut off your thoughts about one of them? And how do you do it? , you used your so-called affection to make a cage, imprisoned two people in it, neither could live nor die, and then Sister Xianglin kept repeating your so-called affection, trying to let others understand your difficulties You said that you don’t want to hurt anyone, but in fact you just inserted the knife that was supposed to be aimed at you into someone else’s chest, and then you showed your affection for sharing the rain and dew evenly, while enjoying the benefits of everyone Fu. Don’t say that you have never thought about it this way. I hope that I will stay by your side as a lover, Feng Yao will always accompany you as a friend, and you will enjoy double feelings without losing either of them. Isn’t this a form of infidelity?”

"In a relationship, except you, everyone has to compromise, everyone has to be patient, and everyone has to share their partner with others. How can you call such a selfish relationship love?"

"Song Zhijing, you are a complete joke!"

"I will never forgive you, because, you don't deserve it!"