1921

Cloudy on Friday, October [-]

Today I encountered something that I never thought about.

Embarrassment, bewilderment, worry, all kinds of thoughts are simply mixed together.

Because I was dragged by Ye Aichen to see club recruits when I was a freshman, he said that I should join one, at least to enrich my life, so I randomly picked a club that didn’t seem to have many activities .Although I am not very willing to deal with others, I have participated in every activity. Fortunately, there are not many club activities.

Today, I went to the dormitory with people from the same department to put up posters to prepare for the club recruitment this semester.A girl and I are in charge of the dormitory in Building B.After putting up the posters, it was almost time for dinner, so the girl suggested: "Let's have a meal together." Then we went to the cafeteria to eat.

It was all fine, and I didn't think there was anything wrong with it, other than feeling a little uncomfortable.

It's time for dinner, and everyone comes to the cafeteria to eat.I was eating with my head down when someone called me and tapped me on the shoulder.I quickly swallowed the food in my mouth, and when I looked up, I found that it was my roommate.Although I live outside now, my roommate and I are in the same class, and we often meet each other in class, so we are not unfamiliar.

Xie Lingjie raised eyebrows at me, looked at the girl next to me, and then said with a playful smile: "It's not bad to be accompanied by a beautiful woman."

The girl's face turned red all of a sudden, and I was embarrassed, so I quickly explained to him that it was not.

Xie Lingjie teased me a few more words, but Zhong Zhe dragged me to pick up the meal before giving up.

I told the girl that my friend just loves to joke, and told her not to mind.

The girl shook her head and said nothing.

After eating, I returned the plate and walked to the door with the girls, planning to bid farewell to the library after going out.During the meal, Ye Aichen sent a message saying that he was going to the library to read soon, and asked me if I wanted to go.

"Yes." I replied to him.

Study together in the library, and then go home together when you're done.

When passing Xie Lingjie and Zhong Zhe who were sitting not far from the tableware recycling place in the cafeteria, Xie Lingjie said, "Let's go? Let's have dinner together next time when you have time." Then he pulled me, I turned my head to the side and bent slightly, I heard Xie Lingjie whisper to me: "If you like someone, go after her. I think this girl is pretty good." After speaking, he let me go.

I wanted to explain, but the girl was still standing by the side, and I was too embarrassed to talk to Xie Lingjie about this issue, so I thought about going back and explaining it to him, so I left with the girl.

I told the girl that I was going to the library, but the girl said she was going too.It didn't work out, so I had to walk with her.I feel very embarrassed.It’s okay to put up posters together, we don’t need to talk much, let’s forget about eating, it’s not polite to eat while talking.But now walking with her alone, I feel that I don't know how to put my hands and feet, and I just want to go to the library alone.

I don't know if Ye Ai has sunk.

Girls can't walk as fast as boys. After walking for a while, I found this problem, so I could only walk slowly with her at a lower pace.The girl realized this and apologized to me for walking too slowly.Then she started chatting with me, mostly she said and I listened.

There is a section in front of the library along the lake path, and you can walk through that section to the library.There are two other roads, but compared to the small road, it is farther from the direction of the cafeteria.On one side of the path is the lake, and on the other side are planted flower trees, which are growing quite well.

When she and I walked that path, we somehow started talking about college students falling in love.

The girl asked me jokingly: "Wu Zi, you are so nice, there must be many people who like you."

"...No." What can I say, I'm not welcome at all.Moreover, I really don't know how to answer this kind of question to a girl who I don't know very well.

Then she asked me what kind of person I like, and then talked about the person she likes in her heart.I didn't answer her question, just listened quietly.

"In this way, Wu Zi, you fit my criteria for someone I like."

I was going to nod habitually, but when I realized what she said, I was completely dumbfounded.

We both stood at the end of the path, neither talking.

I can feel the cool evening breeze, hear the intermittent chirping of insects, and occasionally a few birds chirping and flying by.

I thought in my heart that it shouldn't mean that...it shouldn't be it?It must be just casually, just joking, I can't think too much.

The girl stood next to me. Seeing that I didn't speak for a while, she said, "Wu Zi, I like you. So, that, what do you think?"

As soon as she finished speaking, I felt like my brain froze.

How could anyone like me?Moreover, I don't know her very well, why does she like me?At most, we participated in a few activities together, and our contact was limited to the arrangement of exchange activities on the Internet. I have no reason to be liked.Also, I know that I like Ye Aichen, so I must refuse.

What is the best answer?How to refuse without hurting the other party?

But what if I don't realize that I like Ye Aichen?what will i do

I asked myself in my heart.

Then I gave the same negative answer.

I don't believe in marriage, nor in love.Although I like Ye Aichen, I know it's just my own mood, so even if I like it, it's fine, there will be no other relationship between me and Ye Aichen.

However, if I agree to the girl in front of me, there will definitely be other follow-up relationships.I don't think I have that self-confidence, nor do I believe that I have that responsibility.

"I'm sorry... that..." I tried my best to think about the words, trying not to embarrass the other party as much as possible, but I couldn't think of any good words. "I...that..." Ye Aichen's appearance suddenly appeared in my mind, and I didn't know what I was thinking. After taking a breath, I said slowly: "I have someone I like. So , sorry, thank you."

"Ah..." The girl lowered her head, and it took a few seconds before she said, "I see." Then she raised her head, but her eyes were still down, "I suddenly remembered that I have something to do, so I won't go to the library I, I'm leaving first, goodbye." After she finished speaking, she quickly walked away in the direction she came from.

I stood where I was, sighed heavily, feeling so tired.

Turning around and walking towards the library, I just walked around the tree on the side of the road, but saw someone standing there.

"Ye Aichen?" I was a little surprised, wondering if he heard the conversation just now.

"Ah?" He seemed to be thinking about something, but he came back to his senses when I called out, "Wu Zi."

I nodded, watching his expression carefully.

He licked his lips and asked me in a casual tone: "Sorry, I heard it just now. So, did someone confess to you?"

He did hear it.

Could he have misunderstood?After all, I just said that I have someone I like, will he be unhappy?But what he said was indeed true, someone confessed to me.I didn't know how to explain it, so I could only let out a muffled "hmm".

"Why didn't you agree? What a rare opportunity." He said, "Ah, but this kind of thing still requires your willingness. It's better to be with the person you like." Ye Aichen paused, and then asked : "Wu Zi, you said that you have someone you like, is it...really, or is it just to reject her?"

of course--

"real……"

"Oh...that's it." Ye Aichen smiled, "Last time I asked you, you said you didn't meet someone you like, but you did so soon, congratulations. Who is that person?"

It's you.

Too bad I can't say that.

I didn't speak, what should I say?I can't fake anyone.

"Let's go to the library." Perhaps seeing that I was unwilling to answer, Ye Ai sank into the question and walked towards the library.

I followed him.

Looking at his back, I feel depressed.

Why do I fall in love with Ye Aichen?

In fact, for a moment just now, I wanted to hold my breath and say it, but fortunately, my reason is still there, so I suppressed this impulse.If we really say it out, we'll be done for, friends for so many years must not continue to be friends.At that time, I am sure, I was alone.

Crush, is this what it feels like?

I was reading a book in the library, but unfortunately I didn't read a little, my mind was in a mess.

How can you not like someone?

If you don't like Ye Aichen, it's fine, you won't have so many strange emotions, and you won't be at a loss when getting along with Ye Aichen.If I don't like him, I can face him calmly, without being afraid of leaking my feelings or his disgust.It would be nice if you didn't like him.

Like a person, so tired.

If I can give up liking him, then I will definitely feel a lot easier.

Am I going to give up liking Ye Aichen?

I feel that my thoughts are very confused. On the one hand, I want to relax myself, but on the other hand, I can't bear Ye Aichen.However, whether I like it or not, Ye Aichen and I have only been friends on the surface so far.Even if I like it, that won't change at all.If I don't like it, at least my inner torture will be less.If we had to decide on merit, maybe I really shouldn't like Ye Aichen.

However, when I think about not liking him, I feel even more sad, as if someone is grabbing my heart so hard that it almost stops beating.

Is there really no better option?

Do I really have to see Ye Aichen with someone else before I can give up?

If one day Ye Aichen is with the person he likes, will I be able to feel less pain?Wouldn't it be so uncomfortable?Can I just not like him anymore?

But...but...but I don't want to give up Ye Aichen to that person!Nobody wants to!Nobody can!If even he leaves my side, what else can I have?

My hand was empty, and finally a butterfly perched on it. Although it couldn't pull me out of the dark cage, at least it could give me some sustenance with its company.What's more, Ye Ai sinks into me, not just a butterfly, he is my salvation, he is by my side in all my saddest and most painful times, never letting me be alone, without him, I miss my It must not be able to last for so many years.With such an existence, how can I let him go?

No, I can't think that way.Ye Aichen is not my property, this is just my wishful thinking, how can I impose it on him?He has his thoughts, he has his future, I can't let him break down on me.For a person like me, it's fine to be alone.

My brain is about to explode due to this contradictory thought!

I force myself not to think about it.

No point, I told myself.

When I finally got home, I just wanted to shut myself in the room and have a good sleep, and I didn't want to think about anything.When I entered the room, Ye Aichen suddenly asked me a question.

"Wu Zi, if I confess my love to you... in the future, can we still be friends?"

what?

What do you mean?

Did I hear it wrong?

Ye Ai Shen him...

I stood there feeling like my brain literally exploded.

Ye Aichen suddenly became flustered, waved his hands and said to me: "Wu Zi, just pretend you didn't hear what I just said, forget about it! I... I, I was talking nonsense, I went back to my room to sleep, Good night." Then he rushed into the room and closed the door.

My heart was pounding, and what Ye Aichen said just now kept echoing in my mind, and the more I thought about it, the more I felt incredible.

Is it really what I heard and understood?

Ye Aichen...does he like me too?

I was so happy, I couldn't help but want to laugh.

However, he just said that he was talking nonsense, so I forgot...

How could you forget? !How could I forget what he said!Even if it's nonsense, even if he didn't mean it, with that sentence, I think I'm complete, and that's enough.

After all, I heard things I thought I could never hear in my life.

I really want to ask Ye Aichen the meaning of what he said, I really want to know his thoughts, I really want to knock on the door.

However, when I walked to his door, I couldn't knock on it no matter what.

Ye Aichen would immediately retort, could it be that he was just talking nonsense for a while?After the reaction came over, I regretted what I said.Actually, he didn't mean that, did he?

Everything, is it my self-indulgence?

I still didn't knock on the door after all, and didn't ask Ye Aichen.

I went back to my room and lay on the bed.Looking at the ceiling, I thought, I must not be able to sleep tonight.