1921

Wednesday, September [-] Overcast to light rain

Bad day.

Mid-Autumn Festival, the day of family reunion, everyone eats at the fourth uncle's house.

The adults were chatting in the living room, and we children were playing in our cousin's room.There was nothing wrong at first, some of them were playing games, some were playing with their mobile phones, I went to the bookshelf to see if there were any books to read when I was free.After obtaining the consent of my cousin, I picked out a book to read.The book was stuck a little tight, I pulled it a little harder, and accidentally brought down the things placed on the side.I fished it several times in a hurry, but fortunately it didn't fall to the ground.I breathed a sigh of relief and was about to put the things back, but when I took a closer look, I felt that this little ornament looked familiar.

This is a small wooden elephant, the size that can be held in one hand, very similar to the one I gave Ye Aichen.At that time, I saw this on the stall at the gate of the school and thought it looked good, so I bought one and asked my cousin to bring it to Ye Aichen.I looked at the palm of the little elephant, and there was a "leaf" written with a pen on the left forefoot. My heart sank, and it was really the one I bought.In order to show that it was for him, I specially wrote Ye Aichen's surname on the sole of the foot with a pen, and I wrote it several times in fear of being erased.But now, the little elephant that was supposed to be in Ye Aichen's hands appeared in my cousin's room. If I hadn't taken a book from the back, I would not have found this little elephant in the corner of the bookshelf, and I don't know that the gift I asked my cousin to give Ye Aichen back then was hidden by my cousin.Recalling the way my cousin told me that everything had been handed over to Ye Aichen, I felt ridiculous.I have been lied to for so long, by my relatives, and I still deeply believe in each other, how stupid I am.

I took the little elephant and walked up to my cousin who was playing games with my cousin. My cousin raised his head when he felt my approach. With the thing in his hand, his expression suddenly became flustered, and he hurriedly explained: "Brother, I... I... didn't do it on purpose, I just thought it looked good... just... I'm sorry..."

Noticing the abnormality of the cousin, the cousin looked up and asked us what was wrong.

"That... I..." The cousin looked embarrassed.

I didn't want to say anything, I was very angry, but I didn't want to make everyone unhappy, I just said: "I took this back." Then I walked out of the room.I think if I stayed in that room, I might really be unable to resist questioning my cousin, asking him why he lied to me, why he took away what I gave Ye Aichen, how could he do this?

I went to the living room and sat on the corner of the sofa, surrounded by chatter and the sound from the TV, noisy.I stroked the small wooden elephant in my hand, and couldn't help thinking how much Ye Aichen had received from me.Is it because he hasn't received my letter at all that he hasn't answered my letter?

No, I rejected this guess.Ye Aichen once said that he was very happy to receive my letters, so maybe he didn't receive all of them, so he didn't reply to my letters.

Then who have I passed on my feelings for so long...

What's the use of thinking that the happiness that can be shared turns out to be known only to me?

When it was time to eat, the children were called out by the adults.After the cousin came out, his face was very ugly. The grandma who was on the side saw him and asked what was wrong, but he stammered and said it was all right.

"He just finished talking with Xiaozi, grandma, I asked him what's wrong and didn't say anything." My cousin said to grandma after hearing it.

After hearing this, grandma came over and asked me if I knew what happened, and looked at me with lowered eyes as if looking at the culprit.Thinking of what my cousin said just now, and looking at the expressionless grandma in front of me, I couldn't help laughing at myself, I'm really annoying.

I didn't explain, just shook my head.Then I went to the porch to change my shoes, ignored the inquiries from my aunt who came out of the kitchen and the glaring eyes from my grandma behind me, opened the door, and left.

I can't wait any longer.

So uncomfortable.

It was raining lightly, and I didn't care when I came out, without an umbrella at all.I braved the rain and ran home with my eyes open.

When I climbed up to the sixth floor and reached the door of the house, I reached into my pocket for the keys, only to realize that I forgot to bring the keys when I went out.It's good now, my home is just a door away from me, but unfortunately I can't get in.

Dad called to ask me what was wrong with me, and told me to go back to eat quickly, and everyone was waiting.

Not long after I hung up, my mother also called me.I wanted to say it, but my mother didn't want to hear my explanation at all.

"Come and eat."

"Eat it, I don't want to eat it." I said this through gritted teeth and then hung up.

I thought I could get my mother's understanding, maybe I could get the house key from her, but it turned out that I was thinking too much.

No one is willing to listen to me, and no one is willing to listen to me. They just want me not to be a child's temper in their eyes, and let me cooperate with them to enjoy themselves.

I also want to be a good boy.

But I just don't want to cooperate with them.

Why!

I sat on the steps in front of the door, looked out from the corridor window, and stared fixedly at the outside.It was gloomy outside and it was raining incessantly.

Homeless.

It turns out that there is no place in the world that belongs to me.

I am so redundant.

My mind was full of these thoughts.

My mind is very chaotic, what happened just now, those negative thoughts, the thoughts of trying to convince myself not to think that way, everything is messed up, so I don't know what to do.

The bell rang, pulling me back a little bit of clarity.

I picked up my phone and saw it was Ye Aichen.

I swallowed, took a deep breath, and chose to connect.Ye Aichen's smiling blessing came from the other end of the phone, and I wanted to reply to him, but I opened my mouth but couldn't say anything, as if my throat was blocked, and I couldn't speak no matter what. He couldn't make a sound, his heart throbbed in pain, his nose felt sour, and his eyes were hot.I closed my eyes, took another deep breath, and tried to open my mouth to speak.

"I……"

As soon as I said a word, I couldn’t continue. I found that my voice began to choke, and the tears flowed like a bank burst. I held the little elephant’s hand and tightly grasped the clothes on my chest. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It's like getting angry.

"What's the matter?" Ye Aichen vaguely heard asking in confusion. "Why don't you talk?"

I wanted to say it's okay, but the speaking function seemed to be turned off again, I just couldn't speak after a few words.

"You...were crying?" Ye Aichen guessed cautiously, with concern in his words.

No, I didn't, how could I cry?I want to say this, but why doesn't the water on my face dry?

Later he asked what I said and I can’t remember clearly, I only know that after I hung up the phone, I held the baby elephant tightly in my hand, leaned on my knees and bit my lip to prevent myself from crying. Not long after, I heard footsteps and panting from below.I touched my face indiscriminately, I didn't want others to see my appearance, and planned to move aside for people to pass.As soon as I raised my head, I saw Ye Aichen was bending down, holding his knees and looking at my direction, panting for breath, a few steps below my position.

"You...you..." I sniffed my nose and wanted to ask why he came here.

Seemingly recovering, Ye Aichen walked up to me, looked at me, and asked me gently: "What happened?"

As soon as he finished speaking, I couldn't help crying again.

I don't want to cry in front of him, it feels so useless to cry over something like this.But the lacrimal gland opened the valve recklessly without my control, trying to drain all the liquid stored in it.

Ye Aichen patted my shoulder, and whispered to me in my ear: "Cry, just cry, I won't laugh at you."

It was like a switch was flipped, and I ended up crying.

It's really embarrassing.

Finally venting enough, I sniffed my nose hard.Ye Aichen gave me a pack of tissues and asked me to wipe them.After I took the tissues and tidied myself up, I just felt extremely embarrassed.

"All right?" he asked.

"Hmm." I nodded.

The two of us sat on the steps, Ye Ai looked outside and said, "This is the first time I see you crying so hard."

Hearing what he said, I felt that the face that had just cried hard seemed to be even hotter.

I was worried that he would ask me why I was crying, but in the end he didn't ask.

Ye Aichen took me downstairs to buy a bottle of ice water and wet paper towels, then found a small noodle shop and ordered two noodle soups, and led me to sit down in the back of the shop.He poured ice water on a wet tissue and handed it to me, "Put your eyes on it."

"Need not……"

"Your eyes are very red right now," Ye Aichen said, "Apply it to make it feel better. The noodles will come after a while. We are inside, so no one will notice."

Hearing what he said, I had no choice but to take it and put it on my eyes.To be honest, my eyes are really uncomfortable, I feel like I can hardly open them, they must be swollen.

It just sucks.

After eating noodles, the rain almost stopped.Ye Aichen took me for a stroll, and when it got dark, he asked me if I would like to stay at his house for a night, but I thought about it and refused.He has already helped me a lot and I can't trouble him anymore.Seeing that I didn't want to, Ye Aichen didn't persuade me either.He walked me downstairs to my house and then went back.

After walking one floor, I suddenly touched the little elephant in the bag, and remembered that it was because I thought someone came upstairs and stuffed it in my pocket indiscriminately, and then I forgot about it.

This was originally intended for Ye Aichen...

I ran downstairs and caught up with Ye Aichen who hadn't gone far.

"this is for you."

Ye Aichen raised his eyebrows, a little surprised, "Give it to me?"

"Well, I wanted to give it to you a long time ago, although it was a bit late." I said, "Today, I really thank you."

He smiled, "You're welcome." He glanced at the things in his hand, "Thank you." He said.

With the mentality of trying it out, I knocked on the door, and the door opened, and my parents came back.

Dad looked at me with an unhappy face and snorted.Mom came over and asked me if I had eaten, I nodded, then went back to my room and closed the door.

Through the door, I heard my father say to my mother angrily: "Look at what he looks like! Today he just left the whole family and ran away. He thought how old he was, so he shook his face when he was not happy. Who is watching!"

"Who knows what happened? Your mother said that our little Zi made Wu Wei unhappy. Did she say yes? That kid Wu Wei didn't say anything. Your mother just didn't like Wu Zi all the time. Can't understand me, look at her attitude today, saying that I didn't teach Wu Zi well, did I not teach well? It's obvious that she is biased, she prefers those children, she doesn't want to see Wu Zi, she only knows that Wu Zi is so weird Azusa's head. I just can't figure it out, they are all grandchildren, how can she treat one like another like this?"

"Why are you talking about my mother? I'm talking to you about Wu Zi now!"

"Oh! What's wrong with Wu Zi? Children play and fight, they gather together when they are happy, and disperse when they are unhappy. Talk about him in front of other people, and then talk about me. Have you thought about our feelings? But if she thinks about it a little bit, she won't say such hurtful words. If Dad didn't stop her from speaking, I think Today, she is afraid that she can say even more ugly things. What about you, you only know to agree and let me come back and take care of Wu Zi, why don't you take care of it yourself? Tell me how much thought you have spent on Wu Zi over the years? At home, how much time has been spent on Wu Zi, if I ask you what class he is studying in now, you probably don't know!"

"Does it mean that you must say ten sentences after I say the last sentence? Look at what you look like!"

"What do I look like? What do you say I look like? Tell me why I became like this? Why don't you ask your mother why I became like this? If it wasn't for her, I would be the first..."

"That's enough! Didn't you say you'd better not talk about it? Why bring it up again? In the final analysis, what happened back then is your problem. If you..."

"Wu Jianpeng! Do you have any conscience! Is that my problem? It's your mother who did that, but you actually said it was my problem! Your mother can't understand me and my child , you have been sneering at me for so many years, and you have never looked at Wu Zi in the right way, how much wronged we have suffered, and now you tell me that it is my problem, you are such a good husband and father!"

……

Quarreling, throwing things, chattering, very noisy.

I buried my head under the covers, not wanting to hear anything, not at all.