lonely

I walked with him on the avenue, he was pushing the cart, and unknown trees were planted on both sides, tall and lush.

I didn't speak to anyone with him, and I looked at him occasionally.

His originally slightly childish face became sharp and angular, and his eye sockets became deeper, making his eyes look deep.

The warm yellow light of the street lamp cast down half-covered, half of his face was bright, half was hidden, and his temperament suddenly became elusive.The night wind blows gently, blowing away the sticky sweat on his body.I felt inexplicable joy in my heart.

The whole day of worrying, nervousness and loss disappeared all of a sudden, like a long-voyage ship finally returning to shore.

However, such a quiet atmosphere didn't last long, he spoke first, and asked, "I didn't tell you not to come, what's the matter, what happened?"

Hearing his unhappy welcome tone, my heart suddenly panicked.

It seems that my entanglement and helplessness, my grievance and loss are like children making trouble for no reason, why, why!

"It's nothing, I just came to see you and have fun!"

I pretended to be easy.

He looked at me with a tangled expression, and after a while, "Okay!"

It seems to be making some inexplicable compromise.

I was speechless all the way, I was sullen, bowed my head in silence, and didn't plan to talk to him.But when Zhao Ling sent me to the hotel, I was still a little dazed.

"Zhao Ling, what do you mean, the college entrance examination is over, you will not return to the dormitory! I came all the way to find you, and you threw me in the hotel." I exploded all of a sudden.

"No, I didn't, the place I live in is too small for you to sleep in!"

He seemed embarrassed.

I was defeated by this reason, which was even worse than mine, "How many years have we slept together, and you think I'm crowded if we haven't seen you for three years!"

"No, I'm just, my room...it's a little inconvenient for you to go." He gave up and made excuses.

I suddenly felt like a preoccupied shrew.

Oh shit.

"Okay, I get it, it's been three years, who remembers who, don't you think of me as a brother!" I calmed down and tried to keep my tone as steady as possible.

"I'll leave tomorrow, and I won't get in your way here."

He looked at me with a complicated expression, I can understand him, after all, I am here to play tricks, how ugly!He didn't know which corner he forgot me into, but I eagerly leaned over to find a sense of existence, thinking like a little girl, who would be willing to serve me!

After all, I did it myself, so it has nothing to do with him!

I breathed a sigh of relief and turned around to leave, but he held me back, and I turned to look at him.The bottom of my heart was so relieved.

He had a look of helpless connivance on his face.

Suddenly, my heart panicked, and a great sadness hit me.

We know each other so well, and I know he values ​​loyalty, so I provoked him by saying that we are not brothers.I want to go, isn't it just a disguised way to ask him to beg me to stay.

We are too familiar with each other and know how to handle each other and poke other people's painful feet.

I am so despicable!

"Let's go!" Where to go, I didn't ask, it must be his house.He is equally familiar with me.

I use this familiarity to stimulate him to my own ends, and he uses it to soothe me.

I scolded myself severely in my heart.

Chen Yan, you are really capable.

Zhao Ling finally stopped pushing his car, and sat on the car with his long legs, his posture was so handsome.

I also got in the car, he handed me the helmet, I took it and put it on his head directly.

Before he refused, I said, "Don't be hypocritical."

Hey, who the hell is hypocritical, I spurned myself again.

I sat back as much as I could, not daring to have any physical contact with him. He might think that I was still awkward and angry. The corners of his clothes turned into loops around his waist and then stuck to his body.I don't want him to think I'm coy, but is there any way.

We were driving on the wide avenue, there were no cars on the road, street lights one after another, and road trees one after another, passing us by.

I thought sourly in my heart, if only I could go on like this forever.

His stature has grown a lot, and he has also grown a lot. His back looks tall and strong, and he vaguely looks like an adult who can handle himself alone.

But it made me very upset, I'd rather he was that grumpy kid who no one wants to play with but me.

The car was parked downstairs in a resident, and I got out of the car. He said he was going to park the car in the garage on the first floor, and let me wait a moment. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a row of electric cars and bicycles placed between the buildings. Nodded expressively.

I figured he must be doing something he didn't want me to know.

Watching his back go away, I glanced at the dark corridor, and then looked at the moon in the sky, there was no dark cloud to cover it, and the moon was too bright.

My shadow was on the ground, looking a bit decadent. I wiped my face and wanted to sigh for no reason.

Soon he came back, I guess he just went to make a phone call, because his mobile phone was in the left trouser pocket, and there was nothing there.

Who should I call?girlfriend?Is it to ask the girlfriend at home to put away her things and leave quickly?Combined with what he said in front of the hotel just now, the more I thought about it, the more I felt it made sense. I suddenly realized that I was too unkind. I suppressed the disappointment in my heart, but I couldn’t take it back. Loud, a little sad.

When I came back to my senses, I had already arrived. Zhao Ling opened the door, and a person rushed out and nodded at him.

It was a thin young man, very young, and his age could not be seen.

I was taken aback, and all I could think was, is his girlfriend a man?

Zhao Ling introduced to me,

"This is my roommate, Tong Jiang."

Oh, it turned out to be roommates.

He greeted me generously.I watched him nod in response.

After entering the house, he took off my shoes and put my bag, and he took me back to the room.I was secretly excited and excited, but I didn't show it on my face. I took out my phone and checked the time. It was already past ten o'clock.

He pulled out a towel from the cabinet and gave it to me, and I took it.The room was eerily quiet, no one was speaking, and it was extremely embarrassing.

I wanted to break, but he spoke, urging me to go to the bathroom to take a shower.

I nodded in agreement.Hot water rushing on people seems to be able to wash away their fatigue. At this time, people unconsciously let themselves go and think about things.Of course, I have already passed the age of the second year of middle school, and I will no longer imagine that I am a hero who fell off a cliff and fell into a waterfall after being seriously injured.

I was thinking of Zhao Ling, of course.

I think he is tall and handsome, he is gentle and considerate to me, I think about the secret and unspeakable feelings in my heart, I think why I have to come here so hot-headed, I think, I think, in the end only Zhao Ling is in my mind.

I came out of the bathroom almost dizzy.Looking at myself flushed in the mirror, I was actually thinking about the chances of success in seduction.If it is successful, Zhao Ling will wake up early the next morning, and I will shrink aside and look at him crying, everything is self-evident.No, no, this is not sex. This is a Chinese aphrodisiac!

Ouch, what is going on in my mind all day long!

I patted my head and walked out annoyed, just in time to bump into him coming in with a new toothbrush in his hand, the packaging bag still intact.

He froze for a moment, put the toothbrush in my hand, and left.

I looked at the toothbrush in my hand, and thought he looked so inexplicably cute just now.

When I walked into the room, I only wore a pair of underwear and a bath towel, which was tightly wrapped, and felt that I was so effeminate and not very frank, so I let go of my hands and opened the bath towel.

Zhao Ling was packing his things. Seeing me like this, he frowned, "Why aren't you wearing clothes?"

"I didn't bring it!" Ah bah, of course it was on purpose!

He thought for a while, "Tong Jiang is about the same size as you, you should be able to wear his clothes."

He actually looked like I was very smart.

I:"……"

I resigned myself to my fate and wrapped myself in a bath towel, walked to Tongjiang Gate and knocked on the door, there was a faint voice of conversation coming from inside.

The conversation sounded from far to near, he opened the door for me while talking on the phone, and finally heard him say "Wow!" to the other end of the phone

The door opened.

I am not good at talking to strangers, so I want to say directly: "Lend me a suit."

Before he could speak, he shook his phone, smiled sweetly at me, and said, "My boyfriend!"

I stood there in a daze, and instantly forgot what was on my lips. What I thought in my mind was, who said that I was about the same height as him, and I was obviously taller than him!

It took a few seconds to receive his words, oh, boyfriend!

I looked at him with a complicated expression, and I could probably understand this kind of love psychology of wanting to share happiness with others. He is not bad. I have a high school classmate who fell in love, and wished that everyone in this world could find true love immediately.From another perspective, if Zhao Ling is willing to be with me, I might be so happy that I can't wait to announce it to the world.So, I nodded understandingly.

He seemed a little surprised.

Just when I remembered that I was here to borrow clothes, Zhao Ling came over with a anxious look on his face, and Tong Jiang was also puzzled for a moment, then he shook his head at him as if he had an epiphany.Zhao Ling's expression relaxed.

I guess Zhao Ling might think I'm stupid, and I can borrow clothes for half a day.So he borrowed my clothes for me and pushed me back to my room to get dressed.

ha!It's really considerate, but I always feel that there is some ulterior secret between them.

I don't want to guess, I'm tired!

Zhao Ling's room door was facing the toilet, while Tong Jiang's room was next to the toilet. As soon as I got dressed and went out, I saw Tong Jiang leaning on the door and talking to Zhao Ling who was brushing his teeth in the toilet.

The scene was surprisingly harmonious.

If ordinary people see the person they like getting along so well with others, they must be very jealous.But I didn’t stay with him for 12 years for nothing, he won’t like Tong Jiang, he won’t like someone who has a boyfriend, even if he likes him, he won’t pretend to be friends with him, he will definitely tell Clearly, pursue him upright, or stay away from him.

But I really envy Tong Jiang, envy that he and Zhao Ling can face each other day and night, envy that he can openly let others know his sexual orientation, and envy that he can be with the person he likes.

The more I thought about it, the more sad I became, and I couldn't help frowning. Before I had time to feel sorry for myself, I heard "What's wrong?"

Zhao Ling spoke inarticulately, with toothpaste foam in his mouth, holding a toothbrush in his hand, and rushed over before he finished brushing his teeth. It was a bit funny, but his eyes were very serious, as if something important had happened. Can't laugh at all.You see, how can I let him go when he looks like this.

I actually have a lot of questions I want to ask Zhao Ling, but the words stopped when I was on the verge of speaking, he raised his hand to signal me to wait a moment, went to the bathroom, rinsed his mouth, wiped his face and came back, "Speak, what? thing!"

I actually don’t really want to ask anymore. When he said this, I wanted to ask a random question, but what is undeniable is that I am still very curious and excited. Maybe when people get excited, they can’t control their thoughts and emotions. Language, or maybe I have too much attachment and expectation in my heart for this question that I can't ask.

I asked, "Do you like men?"