Army stab

【Task Code】

One time when the No. [-] Squadron went on an overseas mission, the target person was code-named "Daddy". Before leaving, Xiao became interested again and said that he wanted to give the mission a name, and it had to be something quite powerful.

Guan Zhong was the first to speak. This guy looked at the moon in the sky and smiled: "Captain, why not call him Wei Meng, how sharp~"

Sun Jing: "Do you think you are a toilet cleaner... and mighty..."

Guan Zhong: ... -_-|||

Su Mingyuan answered, "Then it's called beheading?"

Sun Jing: "It's too vulgar..."

Su Mingyuan: ...

After everyone was silent for a long time, Ye Jue suddenly smiled obscenely: "Why don't you just call him a cheater?"

People: ... so domineering -_-#

Later, when the team members went abroad, a young man who knew the local dialect and English, plus a little Chinese, chatted with them. They accidentally chatted about the mission code. mean.

Guan Zhong's head hurt from his big tongue, he patted the buddy on the shoulder, and shouted, "I don't know what this means, it means FUCKYOURDAD!"

Guy: Huh? ... oh well ... good name

Audience: ...Pfft hahahahahaha, Guan Zhong, you are so uneducated...

【Buried Bomb】

For a while, Zada ​​was obsessed with planting bombs, and he learned this from Zhang Ran all day long on the shooting range. There were several potholes on the ground that he bombed, and several team members who were training blind shooting at night accidentally stepped on those potholes. Afterwards, everyone agreed that this was not a problem, so they simply set aside a place for Zhada on the mountainside, and asked him to go there all day long to study and bury bombs.

Not long after, Zada ​​blasted out a small piece of flat land on the mountainside. Sinan thought it was a good place, so he asked someone to plant corn on the flat land.

Later, during training, many soldiers were tired and thirsty, so they secretly broke tender corn to eat. Seeing that his cornfield was being ruined, Sinan felt distressed. He angrily sprinkled laxative on the corn, so , All the field training team members were in a mess that day, and Zhu Ke was so busy that he almost vomited blood and died.

【Great crooked articles】

Everyone who falls in love will be a little bit confused. Seeing the person he likes is really sweet and sour. No matter how you feel that you don’t have enough time together, no matter how tired you are, you feel comfortable.

Ever since, Captain Xiao and Ye Zi couldn't get over this hurdle, and sometimes they got tired of being... so fucking weird.

One day, in Xiao Bai's dormitory, Ye Jue came out of the bathroom wiping his wet hair, squinting at Xiao Bai who was crouching on the bed holding a notebook.

Damn, this guy is actually reading a book with a pink cover - "How to Make Your Lover Only Think of You 365 Days".

(This book was made up by the second young master, if there is any similarity... it is really cheating)

Ye Jue rested his forehead with one hand: "Captain, what are you looking at?"

Xiao Bai raised his head, looked at Ye Jue innocently (?!), blinked his eyes, and said in a low voice, "What do you think?"

Ye Jue got goosebumps all over his body from this look, and asked tremblingly with his arms folded: "...you...what are you doing?"

Xiao Bai blinked again, and his voice became deeper: "Honey, I'm giving you loving eyes."

Ye Jue: ...Hurry up and strike me with a thunderbolt

==============

Another day, after the two of them had done something disharmonious, Ye Jue lay on Xiao Bai's bedside, with his arms around Xiao Bai's waist, and lazily said, "Captain, I want to ask you something."

"Ok?"

"If the world ends tomorrow, what are you going to do today?" Ye Jue blushed a little, he actually asked the question if it was so painful, it really is love that makes people's IQ lower.

Xiao Bai didn't speak for a long time, and kept silent. Ye Jue saw that he seemed to be thinking seriously, and was a little curious for a while, so he poked him and asked, "Hey, haven't you thought about it yet?"

Xiao Bai still didn't speak, he lowered his head for a long time, an unknown light flickered in his eyes, Ye Jue saw a black line on his forehead, he was suddenly pressed down on the bed, put his hands on top of his head, and quickly wrapped the belt tightly Reality.

Ye Jue was so angry that he couldn't kick him.

Xiao Bai buried his head down, kissed firmly, raised his head again, and said with a smile: "Like now, tie you to the bed and have sex."

Ye Jue: …………………(╰_╯)#

【Truth or Dare】

Military life Amateur life is actually very boring, in addition to training, leisure time is mainly nonsense playing cards.

One day, when there was heavy rain and thunder and lightning, Xiao Bai showed kindness and did not arrange training subjects. The team members gathered around Ye Jue's bedroom to fight the landlord, and agreed that the one who lost the worst would come to the truth or dare.

In the first game, Su Mingyuan lost miserably, and the kid chose to speak the truth.

Zhang Ran asked: "Please describe your first time in detail, using vivid literary language as much as possible!"

The eyes of all the team members immediately brightened. In this land where there are no female mice, pornographic jokes sound the most enjoyable. Unfortunately, Su Mingyuan blushed and blushed again, aggrieved and aggrieved, and finally whispered bitterly: "I...I haven't..."

"What the hell?! Are you still a virgin?" Zhang Ran was shocked, and everyone was embarrassed. It's hard to find innocent soldiers these days, and innocent soldiers and virgins are even more national treasures...

In the second game, Ye Jue lost miserably, he chose a big risk.

Guan Zhong is a cheating bastard, he insisted on telling Ye Jue to find someone to kiss him, and forced Xiao Ye Zi to 囧嘿咧囧, sneaking a glance at Xiao Bai, and this person looked at him leisurely, his eyes sweeping every now and then. Coming over, Ye Jue swallowed his saliva, looked around, and finally stopped his gaze on Su Mingyuan.

Walking over, Dayi looked at Su Mingyuan awe-inspiringly, Ye Jue coughed and said, "Yuan, I have wronged you!"

Su Mingyuan was shocked, his face turned red, Guan Zhong and Zhang Ran started to boo, Wu Yu frowned, Sun Jing looked at Guan Zhong with a miserable face, you bastard, wait for the captain to clean you up.

The mouth was getting closer and closer, and it was about to touch Su Mingyuan's right cheek, when suddenly someone's voice sounded eerie: "The rain has stopped, start training, gather in 2 minutes!"

People: ...that's a scam!

…… At the end of the training that night, someone passed by the indoor fighting arena, and heard the screams of someone killing a pig.

【Suicide note】

At the request of the sisters, ahem, the second young master sneaked into the depths of someone's room inside the sharp blade base... and narrowly escaped death to get the suicide notes of each of them before the mission, here are a few excerpts.

=================

Dad, Mom, Little Sister:

I went on a mission again, it's the same as before, it's nothing serious, don't worry.

The passbook and bank card are in the same place, and I haven’t changed the password. When my little sister gets married, this will be a gift. Don’t forget to use the medical card I sent back last time. Check your body every six months.Also, tell Dad, don't keep tossing about the vegetable fields downstairs, your legs and feet are not good when you are old, you should pay more attention to yourself.

There is nothing more to say, I will definitely come back alive, I will have a holiday this year for Chinese New Year, go back to have a New Year’s Eve dinner, let’s forget about blind dates, the little girl was scared to cry by me last time...

Guan Zhong

===================

Mom and Dad:

Don’t let me call you guys that. You see, we’re not writing letters now, and no one else reads them. It’s okay.

I am fine with everything. I received the things you sent last week, and the biscuits inside were not confiscated. Dad, your anti-reconnaissance ability is getting better. I admire it to death, but can you stop giving it to me? I sent photos of the beauties. It’s not good to see too many of them. You also know that the base is full of men. Besides, it’s too early for me to be discharged from the army. Mr. Sun and Mrs. Sun, let me work hard in the army first. Two years, wait until you get your grades, then go back and marry the first beauty you like~

Captain PS, there are still seven unopened packs of Oreos in my dormitory. If I am unlucky, please cremate that one with me.

Sun Jing

=========================

Father, mother:

If this letter is in your hands, I should have already sacrificed. It is my fault for the white-haired person to send the black-haired person. Take care of your health and don't be too sad.

My mother has always wanted to go to Northern Europe. Don’t save my pension. My father takes a few days off to go and relax with my mother. Don’t keep the books in my room, donate them to the library.

The book is not exhaustive, but the words are exhausted here.

Wu Chinese

(Wu Yu's parents are both professors at a certain university)

=============================

Dad, Mom, brother, sister-in-law, Yang Yang:

I don't know if I'm dead now, and I don't know how you are, I haven't seen you for more than a year, how are you all?Parents, you should pay attention to your health. I heard from my mother that I was very afraid of Alzheimer’s disease. I heard people say that eating fish can prevent this. Dad, you can make more fish for my mother, braised in soy sauce, steamed, sweet and sour.

Brother, take good care of our parents. If this letter is really given to you, I will not be here anymore, and I will have to work hard, sister-in-law. I am sorry for you, and Yang Yang, my uncle left you two sets of military uniforms Ah, didn't you say that my uncle is the most handsome in this, you must look better in this than me!However, Yangyang, after reading this letter, don't be like my uncle, don't join the army, and take good care of your parents.

Dad, Mom, my son is unfilial, so I kowtow to you.

Zhang Ran

===========================

Mr. Su, Ms. Chen:

Let me say yes first, don't cry when you read the letter, especially Ms. Chen, Mr. Su is not in good health, don't make him cry, I can't stand you crying, you two together Crying, don’t I have to cry too, so don’t cry, let me feel at ease and live in peace down here, hehe.

By the way, Mom, you don’t know how majestic and imposing you were in the team last time, and now there are still many comrades-in-arms who say that my mother is very nice, they are all envious of me, and my good brother Ye Jue , this kid is an orphan, I didn't know it before, he just told me when we were chatting one day...

Well, I won't say any more, I can't take it anymore, it's really uncomfortable to talk too much, so... that's it.

Your handsome son: Su Mingyuan

=================================

mom:

It's still cold at home, you need to wear more clothes, let Heizi look at those sheep, this guy must have grown up now, I don't know if he is still so edible, he probably can beat two wolves.

The captain said, he will send you my pension and military medal in person, maybe you will see it after a while, the wind is strong in the mountains, and there are many fires in the tent, so don’t be reluctant to give up the charcoal money.

Santo, Qima, you have to take good care of your mother.

Unfilial Son: Zada