The whole world thinks I'm a scumbag

The establishment of the sprint class for senior three in Qingmo No. [-] Middle School has been discussed since the first year of senior high school. It was once terminated in the middle because of the existence of the competition improvement class. Until this year, the new senior three was promoted. At the same time, the national preliminary competition of various subjects came to an end. After weighing the results of the whole grade, he believed that at least a few students in this new senior year had the potential to hit the highest institutions of higher learning, so this matter was decided.

Li Gu became the new head teacher of the sprint class.

In the sprint class, about 20 people came directly from one class, and the other 35 people came from various parallel classes and sunshine classes.

There are 55 people in a class, and Lu Xingyin is the latest to report due to competition and appeals.He dragged the bookcase and walked in. As soon as he reached the door and called "report", he heard a burst of applause and cheers erupting inside. Shen Ke, Yi Qingyang, and Huang Feijian rushed to the front and shouted: "Here we come! We meet again, just waiting for you! The squad reunites!"

"Commander Fawn! Our provincial team player!"

At this moment, the familiar smile and voice reappeared in front of his eyes, as if he was not joining a new class, but returning to the original place.

Lu Xingyin lowered his eyes, the haze that had been weighing on his heart for the past few days seemed to dissipate a little, he walked forward and hugged them vigorously.

"You didn't reply to the news during the National Day, and you haven't been in school. We have good news to share with you." Yi Qingyang pointed to Shen Ke, who bent his eyes and smiled, "She won the second prize and failed the selection requirements for the Golden Autumn Camp , but participated in the camp activities of X University, and got a [-]-point reduction agreement."

University X, the top four universities in TOP.A university of this level is also a university that ordinary Qingmo students dare not dream of.

"Good luck." Shen Ke stretched out her hand to give him a high-five, "It's all because of Commander Xiaolu's joy! You still have to prepare for the college entrance examination, and I hope it goes well!"

The provincial team training will be held a week later, and for the rest of the time, Lu Xingyin needs to stay in Qingmo No. [-] Middle School, doing quizzes and training in the small black room.

At the same time, he learned about the province's provincial team roster for this year: besides him and Gu Fangwei, there were three other people from Yingcai Middle School, and three from City No. [-] Middle School.He didn't even know the names of these people.

Especially Yingcai. In the airborne squad, including Cheng Minjun, he knew the names of many people, and they were all quite strong.Looking at the selection results of the provincial team now, it is conceivable that there must have been several rounds of intense renewal within the Yingcai. Many people who thought they were stable were squeezed out, and new competitors climbed up.

In the evening self-study, the sound of books in the classroom is loud, and Lu Xingyin is sitting by the window—a seat that Li Gu specially reserved for him, allowing him to come in and out freely without having to keep up with the normal course progress.

The name of the person in his hand became blurred and pale. He stopped writing, turned his head, and saw Gu Fangwei who was looking in from the back door of the classroom.

The eyes of the two people met, and they were both startled for a moment, and they didn't move for a long time.

This is the first time they have met since the National Day holiday.

Gu Fangwei seemed to have changed a little bit, he couldn't tell what happened, it seemed that he suddenly became silent and calm, and he no longer had the frivolous attitude he used to have.He stood by the door, looking at him, and the students nearby listened to his message.

Lu Xingyin looked away, and heard a classmate next to him call him: "Lu Xingyin, your brother is looking for you."

He closed the pages of the book in his hand, stood up and walked out.

It was night, the autumn wind was slightly cool, Lu Xingyin was wearing unlined clothes, it wasn't cold in the classroom, but when he came out, he was blown by the wind and got goosebumps.The lights in the teaching building were being overhauled, and the lights above his head were dim. Gu Fang watched him walking step by step, and his heart ached and tightened following the steps.

What he saw was that Lu Xingyin lost weight rapidly. In just a few days, his whole body became paler. He was already thin. The baby fat he fed with milk tea and hot pot at the beginning also disappeared. Some gentle and easy to bully suppleness, some more upright edges and corners.

There is also indescribable exhaustion and loneliness.

He whispered, "The day you came back, I went to Dongtong City."

Lu Xingyin's dark eyes looked at him quietly.

"I'm sorry." Gu Fangwei said, "I know it's useless to say these words now, but I'm sorry."

"I didn't blame my brother." Lu Xingyin said, "I want to break up, it has nothing to do with anything else, you don't need to apologize."

"But why don't you blame me?" Gu Fangwei insisted, "You have the qualifications, why do you have to hold back when you are sad, why don't you tell me about it? Are you scolding me?"

His voice was a little hoarse, "I hope that one day, you will tell me when you are in pain, and quarrel with me when you are angry. Instead of being like now, you have to wrong yourself when you break up. It's not your fault."

Lu Xingyin asked back: "I have done this, can there be any change?"

Gu Fangwei was stunned.

"At least I can... be with you."

"But I don't need it, brother." Lu Xingyin said softly, "I don't need anything that can't be changed."

At this moment, Gu Fangwei's expression was still calm, but his eye circles were a little red. He tried to keep his voice steady: "Can you give me another chance? I will follow you, I will," he paused for a while, "Understood You, stay with you, don't break up with your brother."

He turned his head away from him, trying to make a smile on his lips: "You are... the first person I like. I know about the Huo family and Dongtong City, can you... "

He didn't know what to say, just repeated, "Give me another chance?"

Mosquitoes under the lamp stinging and bumping into the light source, the shadows on the ground are bright and dark, class is about to start, everyone is in a hurry to go back to work, occasionally someone passing by, strangely said: "Hey, class is about to start, the teacher called the roll." Then Someone would whisper to him: "The two provincial team members in our school don't need to go to class!"

"Do you know the provincial team, representing our province to participate in the national competition! Those who give glory to our province!"

It was quiet again.

Lu Xingyin lowered his eyes: "Actually, you don't have to do this."

Gu Fangwei's lips were pursed tightly.

"You and I are people from two worlds." Lu Xingyin whispered, "You don't have to..."

"I'm standing in front of you, you're standing in front of me, why aren't you in the same world." Gu Fangwei's voice was particularly stubborn, "You provoke me first, little calculator, you can't just use this reason to dismiss me casually I don't understand, I can learn. Falling in love is a matter between two people, no matter how good a couple is, they will quarrel, why can't we continue?"

"You are tired and want to relax for a while, I understand." Gu Fangwei said stubbornly, "But I will catch up with you, your insecurity is my problem, I will give it to you, you give me some time, okay? good?"

Lu Xingyin took a deep breath: "You really don't—"

"Have a good rest, I bought you hot soy milk." Before finishing a sentence, Gu Fangwei stepped forward and hugged him.The hot soybean milk became warm through the paper cup, and the hot air surged up against the skin.His voice was so low that it almost broke, "Give me some time."

"Blame me, I met you too late, and I didn't have time to take the exam well. Now I can't help but want to be in the same class as you. There is a problem with their algorithm, so why should the scores that are not referenced be included in the average score, otherwise I can go to the sprint class No. 1."

He smiled self-deprecatingly, his moist peach eyes were only stubborn and strong.

Lu Xingyin watched him turn around, the only boy he loved with all his strength in his life, his slender and upright back was getting farther and farther away from him, as if he was avoiding some kind of gaffe.

"You are not in good condition." Chen Chong frowned after checking the answers, and asked Lu Xingyin, "You never made these mistakes before, and you haven't kept up with the new progress. What's the problem?"

"Xingyin, I know what's going on in your family, but the future is your own. If you take the road of the provincial team, there is no turning back in the college entrance examination. The national finals are at the end of November. It is best to enter the training team. If you can't get in, there are only six months left before the college entrance examination, what are you going to do?" Chen Chong stretched out his hand and patted him on the shoulder, "Make a good adjustment. In the history of our Qingmo No. 92 Middle School, only two of your provinces have left." As a member of the team, Gu Fangwei has his foundation. I wouldn’t worry too much about someone who can get [-] points in the preliminary round. But he is too escaping. We and the school are still inclined to support you. With your excellence, It is not difficult to enter the national training team, and there is even hope to enter the national team - you know that the teacher has brought out members of the national team before, understand?"

"Understood, teacher." Lu Xingyin said, "I will adjust as soon as possible."

The early autumn wind blows gently.

The temperature has turned cooler recently, Lu Xingyin carried the cup of soy milk and walked slowly towards the dormitory.

Like a leaf that loses its wind, Lu Xingyin, who grew up in Dongtong City, lost his grandmother. Where will he go from now on?

He was born with a broken and sick body, and he has survived under the scythe of death until now, just to spend a little time and money to catch the only remaining warmth in this world.

When the last touch of warmth dissipated, where could he go?

He can feel the blood flow in his brain, and he can even describe the shape and touch of the tumor that is about to rupture at any time. It is his best enemy and friend, and he has known and accompanied him for 17 years.

He experienced all the despair, fear and hope that a dying person can experience.

It’s just that occasionally he’s not reconciled. When he was young, when he didn’t understand the cruelty of the world, he once fought fiercely. He drank so many medicines bowl by bowl, and the witch’s talisman was burned to ashes and mixed with him. In the water, I also drank it all. There is a small earth temple in Dongtong City. How many times, he ran in after elementary school and made a wish to the father-in-law of the land, wishing that he would bring a message to Monkey King, so that he could also be in the temple. Cross out your name on the book of life and death.

Just not reconciled.

His dormitory has been changed, and he still lives alone, but from the outside on the third floor to the inside on the fifth floor.Because of his status as a member of the provincial team, he has the qualifications to have uninterrupted water and electricity throughout the day, and does not need to work and rest on time.

All the other dormitories turned off their lights and fell into darkness, only his lamp was still on - this desk lamp was left by Yi Qingyang and was code-named Hume Light Flow. Once turned on, the whole dormitory was as bright as daytime.

One problem after another, one difficult problem after another with almost no solution, his thinking fell into chaos.

71, 73, 79, no matter how many sets of test papers to do, and [-] times to memorize the basics, it seems that he will never be able to make a breakthrough. It seems that no matter how hard he tries, he will never be able to reach the end of what he has seen and dreamed of.those bright futures.

Lu Xingyin buried his face in the palm of his hand, took a deep breath, then wiped his eyes, picked up the pen that had just been thrown aside, and forced himself to read the question again with his eyes flushed.

The soy milk on the table did not move at all.

That night, when Gu Fangwei returned to the rental house, what he saw was a neatly tidied room, with no traces of Lu Xingyin ever living here.