bedside calendar

Jia Zhipeng hugged Lin Feng for a while, Lin Feng didn't move, neither did Jia Zhipeng, neither of them said anything, the last one was Jia Zhipeng who said, "I don't want to hide it from you, I don't feel good if I hide it from you, let me hug you Come on, that's it, I will tell you all the things I used to do."

Lin Feng didn't push Jia Zhipeng away, he basically calmed down, and said lightly: "Speak."

"I don't want to be like this either. I have never been in a relationship. When I was in my 20s, I met An Ping at a high school reunion. An Ping is my wife. At that time, I suddenly felt that this woman looked better when she tidied up. , I used to sit at the same table when I was in school. At that time, she was quite annoying. She was the kind of strong person, not like a woman at all, not gentle. In her early twenties, she got a perm, put on makeup and tidied up. , I realized that it’s not really ugly. I just thought about her previous appearance in my mind and then looked at her more. At class reunions, it is inevitable to talk about the love affairs of a classmate in the same class, most of them were two at the same table. There were only three couples in our class that everyone knew about a relationship, not to mention that they really became a couple, and they were just preparing to get married at that time." Jia Zhipeng hugged Lin Feng all the time, and Lin Feng didn't move and he didn't move, as long as Lin Feng If he wanted to move a little, he hugged him even tighter, as if holding Lin Feng he had the strength to finish his business, so Jia Zhipeng held Lin Feng so stubbornly and talked about his marriage in his ear, "Two months later, An Ping was the bridesmaid at the wedding of those two classmates. She just came over to ask me if I looked good in a bridesmaid's dress. I said good-looking, but she said, do you want to chase me? I was also quite dizzy. It felt good, and I said that I wanted to chase after seeing her at the party. We got married a month later. I found out later that she was in a bad mood when she was dumped, and she was just kidding me, and married me in a fit of anger. It’s gone. Otherwise, it’s not so fast, it’s only been a month!” At this point, he stopped and didn’t speak for a long time.

"What about after that?" Lin Feng was still waiting for the next article. He felt that Jia Zhipeng, an honest man, cared about being teased like this, whether he liked it or not.

"The day before the wedding, I heard people say that An Ping was dumped by someone, and the guy who dumped her had been in a relationship with her for four years, and he dumped her just because he said he dumped her. She might be using me to anger others. Ye I just...how did I say it? Anyway, I just confessed it in a short time." Jia Zhipeng paused, all of them were men, and Jia Zhipeng was still very embarrassed to admit that he shot in seconds, and buried his head on Lin Feng's shoulder. Ceng, sighed and said, "I told her at the time that I was tired of getting married, but I thought in my heart that I knew what she was going to do. After getting married, the two of them didn't agree on what to do. I feel like I’m almost old, and I basically just sleep when I go to bed. I have no enthusiasm for it, so I have never had children. After half a year, I was transferred to Shenyang to work. After arriving here, I am not familiar with the place. My colleague took special care of me. At that time, I just thanked him very much. I didn’t know that he had that kind of meaning for me—like me. At that time, I thought that this person was so kind. It's still about work. I don't know how to thank him for taking good care of me. It may be four or five months. Once he drank too much and I sent him back to the place where you lived. I’ve been to my place, it’s not considered a dormitory, it’s like two colleagues looking for a house to live in together, the rent is paid by the company. His place is also on the next floor from where I live, and the person he lived with was on a business trip that day Before he came back, he... I don’t think he’s drunk anymore. He told me that he likes me or something by virtue of alcohol, and even took my clothes off. I hardly drank that day. I'm drunk, but it's weird, I don't feel disgusted at all by men touching men, on the contrary, I feel it more than An Ping..."

"That's your first man?" Why did Lin Feng feel that his question was so sour, but he asked it unconsciously after hearing this, and he regretted it after asking.

"It's not really counted, it just hit each other. I didn't have any feelings. After that, I avoided him. On the day he was transferred, he found an opportunity to say to me: 'You don't have to avoid me, I Let’s go, that’s because brother is sorry for you, don’t hold grudges against me.” He probably thought that I was annoying between men and men by avoiding him, but I knew that I was not annoying at all. It’s not annoying, but I don’t feel that way about him—in fact, I can’t tell what kind of feeling it is, and I don’t know how to tell him. Besides, I have to digest the fact that I like men. , that’s why I avoided him. When he finished saying that, I think he thought so, so let’s just think so, and it happens that there is no need to explain anything to him, so let’s do it! But I don’t want to see his apologetic look, I just hugged him like a buddy, and said: "It's okay, don't worry, I have forgotten the past." He probably thought I was forgiven, his eyes were red, and he left without contact. I said I forgot, how could it be possible? After that incident, I found that I was more interested in men than women. I was quite conflicted at first, but I actually liked men! But I accepted it a little bit. Working here in Shenyang, no I often go back, and Anping’s side is also easy to deal with. I added a gay group here, and saw that other people were having sex in the group. I also made an appointment. At that time, it was purely out of curiosity. I made an appointment twice, both to meet each other Chatting and having a meal, I just want to know what is going on with sex. Later, I participated in a party in the group. During the party, I met a person who was pleasing to the eye and was able to talk to him a few times. Now I thought it was dating, although at the beginning it was about watching a movie and soaking in a hot spring, but in the end it was all about sex. Only then did I realize that I was a 1, I didn’t like to be a 0, and I had never been a 0. I didn’t develop anything at that time Feelings, I think that’s the case, and then let’s forget about it and lose contact.” Lin Feng never asked Jia Zhipeng about how many times he had been in love before, how many people he had slept with, etc. Everyone knows how chaotic the circle is. Knowing that it is very difficult to find someone who likes the other person and also likes oneself, who would pursue someone's previous love history?In fact, Jia Zhipeng never asked about Lin Feng's past. (There was only one time when Lin Feng and a friend had a gay dating party, and Jia Zhipeng also went to play. Lin Feng once touched Jia Zhipeng's arm and whispered: "Look at that one over there, the one with thick eyebrows, big eyes and square face, that's a pure 0 Do you like it?" Jia Zhipeng saw a strong man who was more than 180, and looked at Lin Feng in disbelief, Lin Feng smiled maliciously, and said: "Really, I used to be with him for a while. "After Jia Zhipeng asked, Lin Feng told him about the part between himself and that man.)

Jia Zhipeng paused for a while and said again: "I got to know you later. I am sincere to you, and I don't mix water at all. It's the first time I have the feeling of falling in love with you. I will feel distressed and miss you. I can’t let it go. You don’t know, I didn’t think about An Ping at all when I came out of the house, and I was worried when I went back for a holiday, and I didn’t want to go back before I was with you. If I went back, I would still have my parents if not for An Ping." Jia Zhipeng recounted his past and his feelings for An Ping.

"Didn't you think that it might be An Ping who treats you badly, and that a man treats you too well, that's why you turned?" Lin Feng also lost his temper, and now he also raised his arms to hug Jia Zhipeng, so that the two embraced each other This made Lin Feng feel very comfortable.

"Impossible. If I wasn't born with the same sex, how could I be able to bend over if a man treats me well? This can't be said to be An Ping's fault. She didn't treat me well, and I wouldn't Just because of that little thing, I bent over." Jia Zhipeng is always so honest.

"Stupid, if you can think that way, you won't always feel that you owe An Ping." Lin Feng thought he was very funny.

"How is it possible? It's obviously not the case, I just owe An Ping. Anyway, she has become the same wife, it's very pitiful." Jia Zhipeng always felt that he did this wrong, but he had his own last resort ,well!

"Oh, you! You are too honest. Then have you thought about it? Are you going to divorce?" Lin Feng had no choice but to be honest.

"I'm planning it. I'm planning to get along with you. It's not good for An Ping if we procrastinate, and I'm sorry for you. I'm tired too, but I can't leave now." Jia Zhipeng pressed Lin Feng's shoulder hard, suppressing something.

"What's wrong?" Lin Feng felt something was wrong.

"When I went back in June last year, I passed by my house and stayed there for about a week. Later in August, when we happened to be together, I was on a business trip. On the way home, I called and asked me to go back quickly. That time I wanted to divorce her, but when I got home, I found out that she was pregnant, and I didn't know what to do, I was in a mess, I didn't have a clue, and I didn't tell you anything when I came back." Jia Zhipeng clasped his hands tightly, Just thinking that Lin Feng would go crazy and beat him now, he would not let go.

"Fuck, you still have a child!" Lin Feng wanted to push Jia Zhipeng away, but Jia Zhipeng refused to let go, and hugged Lin Feng even harder.

"No—" Jia Zhipeng said in a small voice, but Lin Feng heard it.

"Yes, no, I'm going to have a baby, congratulations! That's why I've been going home very often recently." Lin Feng didn't have a good mood when he said this.

"No, listen to me. In September, I said that my family came to me suddenly. Didn't I take annual leave and go back? That time I went back because An Ping had a miscarriage."

"Son, it's gone!" Lin Feng's body trembled. If someone else would comfort Lin Feng, he wouldn't be able to say anything even in this situation.

"It's gone. An Ping's mood is very wrong, and I can't bring up the divorce, so I can only postpone it." Jia Zhipeng's voice was very soft, a little bit sad and helpless, after all, it was his Jia Zhipeng's child who lost.

Lin Feng nodded silently. He couldn't imagine how sad it would be for a woman without a child, but he knew it must be hard.

So the fight between the two of them was in vain that day, Lin Feng didn't push Jia Zhipeng out and failed to break up, so he never mentioned this matter again.The only difference is that Lin Feng clearly knows that he is a San'er, and he just admits it.