CM The future I see without you

"...Emily... oh no, no, it should be Agent Prentiss. After she came back, she gave us a lot of useful clues. Based on this information, we managed to find them before the plane took off and rescued Declan."

"So according to your description, this is a very perfect ending," Dr. Lewis lowered her voice gently, looking at the documents in her hand, she continued to ask Jacques, who was softly half lying on the sofa, and said, "Then why are you unhappy? It's because Agent Prentiss' sudden return made you feel cheated, isn't it? Jacques."

Jacques half-closed his eyes, and his eyes were blurred. He looked at the corners of Dr. Lewis' slightly pursed mouth, but his mind was full of the sound of water droplets from Dr. Lewis's stereo, tick, tick, tick... rhythmic and crisp The sound made his temples swell and ache, but it also gave him a strange sense of security. He lowered his head, gently rubbed the temples on both sides, thought for a long time, and then slowly said: "No, no Such."

"Oh? What's that for?"

"I don't know." Jacques murmured in a low voice, as if he didn't understand the change in himself, he could only think about his words and said, "I seem, like, scared by my emotions, I never, never With such strong urges, I don’t seem like myself anymore.”

"Are you afraid?"

"I do not know."

"Jacques, isn't strong emotion bad for you? I mean, emotion is a normal emotional experience for a social person, why should you restrain it?"

"Because it's abnormal."

"Jacques." Dr. Lewis lowered her voice gently, the sound of ticking water gradually subsided, and the room finally returned to tranquility, she said, "Maybe you can try to feel some strong emotional fluctuations, let go of the suppressed Shackles, Jacques, expressing one's emotions is not a wrong thing, it's a normal human need."

After she finished speaking, she saw that Jacques' brows gradually relaxed as the sound of water droplets disappeared. The young man didn't respond. He closed his eyes tiredly, fell back, curled up in a corner of the sofa, and seemed to have fallen asleep. Dr. Lewis stood up, walked out with the recorder and the manual, and closed the door gently.

"How is it?" Seeing Dr. Lewis coming out, Reid hurriedly put down the book in his hand, got up from the guest chair, and stepped forward to ask.

Dr.Lewis walked to his office, motioned for Dr.Reid to sit down, then nodded slowly, and said: "The method you provided is effective, Jacques has a great reaction to the sound of water droplets, I have already tried to use This kind of voice has been counseling four times in a row, at least his defensiveness has been relieved much more than before. It seems that someone used this method to treat him before, or when his character has not yet formed, emmm, I still Not sure, some psychological hints."

"In fact, I found that Jacques, I don't know if it's accurate to say that, Dr. Lewis, I think in many cases, the choice that Jacques seems to make voluntarily is very likely to depend on him, as you said, psychological Hint... In this hint, his choice may be more in line with this evaluation system, or have a higher value in this evaluation system." After Reid finished speaking, he looked at Dr. Lewis with a worried face. He doesn't seem to understand this kind of overly professional knowledge. He only has a bachelor's degree in psychology, so he is naturally not as good as Dr. Lewis, who is already a leader in the industry.

"Dr.Reid, you are right." Dr.Lewis nodded seriously, and she said, "I found that in Jacques's initial education, his true emotions were not allowed. , Some seemingly instinctive reactions may just be his self-protective performances. If all his breakdown points, or trigger points, are eliminated one by one as Director Mueller envisioned at the beginning, then It is impossible, and there is no such precedent in academia."

Reid nodded understandingly, if he really did that, even if it was 100% successful, then Jacques would not be Jacques anymore.The education that Jacques received at a young age deeply influenced his growth. This deformed education method and incomprehensible psychological hints may have been shaken at a certain stage of his growth, but according to the current situation, it is planned on Jacques. people eventually succeed.

Reid sighed, Jacques had no way to see Emily, perhaps more because he was shaken by the ideas he had received, and was in a stage of confusion and fear, and the tricky thing was that Reid himself didn't know how to help the youth Take this critical step.

Dr. Lewis said: "I can't tell you too many things, but one thing, I think I have to tell you that Jacques passed my test very early, and the superiors did not allow me to delay the time, maybe Tomorrow, I will sign Jacques' report, which also means..."

"It means that he can resume his job." Reid frowned. To be honest, he didn't want Jacques to return to work so soon. According to his unstable mental state, something would happen sooner or later, but it couldn't be forever. Shackle him in the counseling room to receive endless counseling.

Reid still stood up, nodded politely to Dr. Lewis, and said, "I'll go and see him, Jacques should wake up too."

**

Reid put Jacques' black suit jacket on his left arm, and put his arms around the listless Jacques with his right hand, walking slowly step by step, and the agents passing by them all looked at them strangely.

"Okay, let me go, I can go." Jacques broke away from Reid's arm with a sullen face, and whispered.

Reid looked at him worriedly for a long while, and the young man who watched him turned his face stiffly, and then said, "Okay."

When he sat back in the car, Jacques closed his eyes again. He still didn't seem to wake up completely. He looked sleepy and cold, resting his head on the soft pillow that Reid specially added to the passenger seat, and looked at the car silently. The road speeding backwards through the front window.

Reid thought about it, and said: "Tomorrow, tomorrow Emily said that she would treat guests to dinner, and she found a great Italian restaurant..."

"I do not want to go."

"Don't be like this, Jacques." Reid persuaded helplessly, "You didn't go to Rossi to cook the pasta by himself last time. I haven't seen you for so long. Everyone misses you very much."

"I do not want to go."

"Jacques, you..."

"Enough! Spencer Reid!" Jacques turned his head suddenly and shouted in a low voice. Reid stared at him blankly. The young man's beautiful blue eyes were full of bloodshot eyes and incomprehensible fear. After shouting, Jacques As if frightened by his actions, he retracted between the angle formed by the back of the car and the window, muttering, "I'm sorry, Spencer, I'm sorry."

Reid turned his head, looked ahead, gently stepped on the brakes, and parked the Volvo on the side of the road. When the engine completely quieted down and the roar gradually stopped, he said slowly, "Jacques, if you If you don't want to go, we won't go. But you have to tell me, what are you afraid of?"

"No." After Jacques finished speaking, he shook his head again and whispered, "I didn't."

Reid fell silent, he looked into the young man's eyes, the dazzling sunlight refracted several times on the thick front window and stirred up dust flying between the eyes of the two, those clear blue eyes seemed to be filled with tears in a trance , screaming desperately to save me in a trance, but in reality Jacques's face is full of silence and resistance, as if such refusal can protect his fragility hidden under the last layer of dignity.

After a long time, Jacques murmured: "Spencer, take me to a place." He reached out and lifted Reid's messenger bag in the back seat of the car to the front, took out a piece of paper and a pen from it, and put The address engraved in my mind was written on it.

Reid took the note and glanced at it. The address on it was a high-end neighborhood not far from the FBI office building, almost all of which were the residences of the FBI's top executives.He glanced at the silent Jacques, turned the key anyway, and started the car.

Ten minutes later, the blue Volvo stopped in front of a goose-yellow villa. The low white fence was restrained by a heavy and rusty iron lock, and the house number was covered by red and white roses. There is a special name faintly revealed on it, Aidan Liu.

In Reid's mind, all the information about this elder who has repeatedly solved strange cases instantly appeared. Unlike BAU's focus on the description of criminal psychology, Aidan Liu is better at investigating economic crimes. "Guidelines for the Stages of Investigation and Filing of Economic Crimes", the most famous paper "Basis of Penalty Theory and Microeconomics—Analytic Basis and Paradigm" even broke the most advanced theory in this field, and greatly promoted the actual With the increase in the detection rate, his photo is still hanging on the display wall of outstanding graduates. Every freshman who enters the school will give out admiration in front of the black and white photo under the guidance of the teaching assistant.

Some because of his achievements and contributions, some because of his handsome and charming face, and many more because of his untimely death.

Jacques rolled down the car window, the untended house is more like a wild jungle, the white paint of the fence is mottled by the wind and rain, clusters of green leaves and clusters of blood-red or snow-white flowers Struggling to get out of the fence from a small gap, floating or burning in the small free air.He remembered that when he was young, he would always read a book on the rocking chair in the living room, and his father would move the whole rocking chair to the corridor outside the house. If he tilted his head slightly, he could see the bright sunlight, the dense rose bushes In the middle, the mother's fair neck and long golden hair scattered.

But in fact, more often, pruning the flower branches is the father's job, and the mother always sits in front of the flowers or under the vines and plays the cello. The smell of juice wafts through the air.

That was almost the brightest and most peaceful moment in memory.

Jacques turned his head away quietly, his gaze rested on Reid's gentle eyes, he moved his lips but didn't say a word. Reid stretched out his hand quietly, he wanted to grab the white palm on the young man's knee, and hold his fingers together, but the young man's pink fingertips touched slightly, and he dodged back with some hesitation.The wide palm kept the distance between the fingertips and the fingertips, and in the next second, he stepped forward to grab it, opened the curled hands, spread them out, and clasped the ten fingers tightly.The sweat in the palms of both hands seemed to be exchanging unspeakable secrets, as if not all words in the world could be spoken, or not all were meant to be spoken.

Jacques stared at Reid's face for a long time, then suddenly said, "Let's go."

"Why don't you go in and have a look?"

Jacques pinched the thick knuckles on the doctor's fingers, looked down from his face to the hand he was holding, nodded, and said, "No, no need."

**

The next day Jacques followed Reid to the Italian restaurant Emily mentioned.

Jacques fell in love with this place almost at the first sight. The layout of the building is simple and clear, with interlaced black and white colors, contrasting sharply and coexisting harmoniously, creating a quiet place in the bustling street.

Jacques approached the gate, and his eyes stayed on a black-and-white photo of the porch. Cats, water splashes, tables and chairs flying in mid-air on the gray background, and men in suits and leather shoes in a jumping posture made this photo appear weird. The semi-suspended effect is like dust floating in the air.

Reid stopped beside Jacques, took a look at the painting, and opened his mouth to explain: "Oh, this painting is a surrealist work completed by photographer Philippe Hal□□an in 1948."

Jacques hummed lightly, Reid blinked his eyes, turned slightly to the young man, and continued: "In 1948, Jacques, did you know that at that time the shutter speed and the flash were synchronized, and they had a limit value, 1/125 Seconds, that is to say, it is necessary to grasp that point very precisely so that all, oh, of course, I mean all the items on the screen, even the three cats, stay in the air, and then be captured by the camera. He and his assistant, By the way, there is also the man in the picture. It took a total of six hours of experimentation, and the three cats were thrown more than 200 times before they got this great work..."

"great?"

"Of course!" Reid got excited. He blinked excitedly, lowered his head slightly, and tried to get closer to Jacques' ear. Just as he was about to explain, he heard a clear female voice sounding beside him.

"Reid, why don't you go home and explain to Jacques slowly after we finish dinner?" Emily said with a playful smile, "Everyone is waiting for you inside."

"Oh, then, that's fine." Reid regretfully stopped Ke Pu's desire, turned to Jacques and said, "Let's go in first."

Jacques hummed lightly, but without moving his feet, he raised his head, looked at Emily's nervous eyes, moved his eyes down, and moved his eyes to the tattoo on the slender collarbone that had once seen blood, to that She was stabbed alive by Doyle into the abdomen of a wooden stick, and finally stayed on the uneven nails of the fingers of her hands crossed in front of her abdomen.

"Reid, or else you go in first." Emily smiled slightly and said to the doctor, "I have something to say to Jacques."

"Okay." Reid nodded. He glanced back at the silent young man, and after waiting for his affirmative look, he followed the waiter waiting at the side to go in with confidence.

There were only two silent people left in the empty porch. The central air conditioner was blowing a soothing cold wind. Emily hesitated for a long time before she spoke slowly. She said, "I'm sorry."

Jacques shook his head, and he said, "You don't need to say sorry to me, and, I think that's the word you've said the most since you came back, right?"

The young man's answer made Emily heave a sigh of relief. Her tense nerves gradually relaxed, and the stone in her heart fell to the ground safely. She smiled and said, "It's nothing, it's what I owe them. Actually , Jacques, I also want to tell you, thank you."

Jacques shook his head lightly, and Emily hurriedly said: "Really, I really want to thank you, Jacques, if it weren't for your first prediction and profile, we wouldn't have been able to find Declan in such a timely manner, and, Without the guarantee and procedures from Congressman William, I think the entire BAU may face the inspection and questioning of the Congressional Special Committee..."

"Emily." Jacques said, "I'm still a member of BAU, these are what I should do. And, regarding your departure, in fact, earlier, I guessed that you might still be alive, but you just didn't talk to anyone. said."

Emily looked at him puzzled.

Jacques shrugged and explained indifferently: "I dare not see you because I don't know how to deal with my feelings, especially, especially those... I don't know how to say it, or how to describe it They, I don't even know if the emotion is real. Maybe Dr. Lewis was right, I was scared, so I owe you an apology for worrying you for so long."

"No." Emily looked at Jacques who was talking calmly, she was very surprised in her heart, but her face was extremely calm. She hugged the young man gently, just like hugging the crying Garcia on the first day back, she said seriously , "I'm sorry for you."

"Hey, do we have to apologize to each other endlessly like this?" Jacques broke free from her arms and said speechlessly.

"Tsk, okay." Emily let go of her arms regretfully, she took a step back, looked the young man up and down, and said, "But, you really look more and more like Reid."

"what?"

"You have to say something that ruins the atmosphere at such a touching time." Emily's eyes were curved, and the corners of her mouth were raised, jokingly said, "Forget it, forget it, let's go, they are still waiting for us."

Jacques nodded. He followed her and turned a few corners. His eyes were always on the surrounding walls with a sense of design. This restaurant is not like a traditionally decorated Italian restaurant. The decoration style is more casual and bar-style.

The whole restaurant is open. After walking for a long time, Jacques faintly heard the voices of acquaintances. Looking up, there is a long black table behind the black and white checkered tiles. Their relatives were talking in low voices.Only Reid stood in front of the wall covered with strange paintings, bowing his head to his godson in his arms, JJ's son Henry, explaining the works of art hanging on the wall, but obviously, that little boy is more important than great creations Interested There are cute cookies on the table, and they keep twisting their small bodies to express their dissatisfaction. Unfortunately, my godfather didn't receive this information at all, and he was still immersed in his own science popularization and couldn't extricate himself.

Emily stopped at the partition, she turned around suddenly, and asked Jacques, "So, what you just told me, emmm, is that a secret between us?"

Jacques looked at her amusedly and blinked, with a mysterious look, so he nodded seriously.

Emily breathed a sigh of relief, turned around and walked in.

Everyone raised their heads and saw them, and they all laughed at the same time. They greeted the latecomers to take their seats, and then continued to discuss the interrupted conversation with the people around them.

Jacques sat in an empty seat in the corner, because other people came with their family members, Emily and Morgan talked about topics that they were not interested in, Rossi seemed to go to the kitchen to study recipes with the chef again, so he had to settle down. Sitting steadily on the seat, with his chin propped, he looked at Dr. Reid, who hadn't finished talking about the development of pop comic art in the [-]th century to Henry with a serious face, and sincerely hoped that he would notice himself sooner.