CM The future I see without you

For a whole week after returning from New Mexico, Jacques was indifferent to others, lying on the table in a daze when there was no case.

But he explained to Emily that he was letting himself go.

"In Eastern Buddhism, this is called meditation." Jacques said, not knowing how to translate the professional vocabulary, "focus your soul and spirit, exercise concentration and develop wisdom."

Emily expressed disbelief and looked at Reid.

Reid nodded and said: "Actually, in the realm of Buddhism, Zen is divided into eight levels, called the Four Zen and Eight Concentrations. Although the life span is long, it is not liberated from life and death, so Buddhism only regards meditation as a method of practice, not the purpose of practice.”

A long period of rambling and incomprehensible nouns successfully dissipated everyone's interest, and Jacques said helplessly: "Well, I'm actually just in a daze."

"Jac, in fact, you can also read a book," Reid put the book in the bag on his desk, and recommended, "Conan Doyle, how about it?"

"It's not that good." Jacques turned his head coldly, even as soon as Reid came over, he stood up, turned and left.

Reid stood there bewildered and sighed.

"What's wrong?" JJ asked Reid gently.

Reid felt that if he knew, he wouldn't be like this. He smiled troubledly and said, "It's been almost a week, and I don't know what's going on. Jac suddenly refused to talk to me, and, recently, he moved to Rossi's at home."

"Wow," JJ thought at first that it was just a small affair in the relationship, but she didn't expect that Jac even moved away.

JJ patted Reid on the shoulder, like a gentle sister, she took Reid to the quiet corner of the corridor on the floor, and said: "Although Jac is sometimes childish, he will not be an unreasonable person, Reid , Think about it, have you done anything to make him unhappy?"

Of course not, Reid started to reflect on himself over and over again very early on, but he didn’t think there was anything wrong, he said to JJ: “That day, we were still in New Mexico, Jacques had another headache, and he forgot to bring his medicine , I complained to him when I came back."

Under JJ's questioning gaze, Reid said helplessly: "That's not even a complaint. I just told him that I hope he can take care of his illness. If he doesn't want to tell me about his illness, at least Take the medicine with you, let me rest assured, JJ, what's wrong with that?"

JJ didn't think there was anything wrong. In fact, everyone in the BAU also cared about Jacques, and they wanted to know more details, but like Reid, they waited for their partners to take the initiative to share, rather than... Profilers are more private.

She reassured Reid, saying, "It's fine, then what?"

"What then?" Reid didn't understand, "Then he ignored me."

"No," JJ analyzed calmly, "JAc still walked with you one day after he came back. That night, we said we were going to the bar, but Jacques said he couldn't drink, so you went home first."

"Then Jacques moved out of my apartment, God, of course I remember!" Reid remembers coming out of the shower, Jacques suddenly became extremely cold, they had planned a movie, but Jacques insisted on going back to sleep , the movie did not see it.

"Oh, isn't it?" JJ looked at the distressed Reid pitifully and said, "Night? He just left?"

"Yeah," Reid said, "and then I called, oh, um, a friend, and she said it's normal, it's like a little quarrel between lovers, and I'll be fine the next day, so ..."

"So you didn't catch up to ask, and you didn't take it to heart." JJ narrowed her eyes, and the woman's sixth sense made the little doctor hide something, and she asked directly, "Reid, is that friend a girl?"

"Well," Reid said with a sigh, "do you remember the letter Garcia sent me? She sent it."

"But you still said you were one of your readers!"

"Oh, yes. Maeve has a Ph.D. in genetics, and it was only after consulting her in the New Mexico case that I thought of the suspect..."

JJ suddenly understood Jacques, and she didn't even wait for Reid to finish before interrupting, "So you guys kept in touch after that? I don't think you talked to Jacques about this?"

JJ stared at Reid with big eyes like a doll, and Reid felt a little guilty under such a blunt gaze, he defended: "Jacques never told me about him, so I thought, oh, why can't I have a little privacy? And Maeve is really a good reading partner, we can talk for a long time on almost all topics, she can even pick up what I haven't said, I feel like I finally have someone who can understand me, JJ, you Can you understand how I feel?"

JJ looked at Reid who was clearly sad but still pretended not to care, and was not sure whether he should intervene in the conflict between the young lovers.

After thinking about it, she thought it would be easier for boys to talk, so she decided to hand over the difficult task to the experienced Morgan.

**

Jacques didn't leave completely in a fit of anger, but the person he asked Garcia to investigate finally had the result.

"It's all here." Garcia handed a thick file bag to Jacques. As the searcher, she knew all the information in it. She asked seriously with a rare serious face, "Jacques, are you really Is it just for research? I mean, what you asked me to find is really, really..."

Forgive her low cultural accomplishment, Garcia really can't find any words to describe her inner panic and disgust for the people in the information bag.

"Don't worry," Jacques comforted and hugged the girl, then took out a gift box from behind and handed it to the surprised Garcia.

"Oh, my little angel, is this for me?" Garcia couldn't wait to open it, and the beautifully wrapped light yellow rectangular gift box distracted her attention in an instant, "But my birthday hasn't come yet. , what's in it? Hmm? Can I take it apart and have a look?"

"Of course." Jacques smiled, "Isn't this the happiest moment to receive a gift? Take it apart and have a look, I think you will like it."

Garcia reluctantly took off the exquisite bow, opened the box, and inside was a long ballpoint pen, light yellow. The key point is that Garcia covered the corner of her cracked mouth with a smile, oh, my God, that pen On it is a tiny, fluffy, kitten!God, the little guy was fast asleep with his eyes closed.

Garcia's heart softened into water. She carefully touched the cat with her index finger, suppressed the ecstasy in her heart, and unconsciously lowered her voice, and said, "Oh, my God, Jac, is this for me? Oh, no, no, no , you have to tell me again, this is for Penelope Garcia!"

"Of course, it's for Penelope Garcia." Jacques was happy that he had chosen the right gift, and he said, "Thank you, Garcia, for looking it up for me, and, well, I guess if you can, please don't tell anyone. ?”

"Oh," Garcia held the pen, looked at the handsome young man with a little worry, and said cautiously, "I, I can't guarantee, you know, I, well, I can only say try, try, okay? "

"Thank you very much, Garcia."

Jacques bid farewell to the girl and closed the door softly, leaving Garcia and her plush kitten alone.

He took the file bag and went to the analysis room. When there was no case, there were basically no people in this room, and it was quiet and secret enough. Jacques took out the information in the file bag, and the first page was a half-length photo of a man in a gray prison uniform.

BlackJafferson has an MS in Neuroscience and a PhD in Cognitive Psychology from Yale University.

Jacques sneered, and turned to the back. Garcia carefully printed out all the papers published by his research and put them in the file bag. Jacques just browsed the crimes set by the man in a hurry, and put all the rest of his energy on the papers. .

It's a pity that there are too many professional vocabulary involved, and the list of data is not very clear. It is very slow and difficult for Jacques to read.

In normal times, he would ask Reid for help immediately, but not now.

Pain comes from oneself, and heart disease can only be healed by oneself.

**

19 years ago, Quantico.

"Why do you always refuse to admit that there is something wrong with him!" Louise yelled at the other end of the phone. To be honest, since she became a mother, she has rarely had such big emotional ups and downs.

"But JAc is only five years old, are you going to send him to the FBI?" Aidan couldn't bear it and tried to persuade his wife, he softened his tone and said, "Maybe we wait? He's too young. And you know what those people in the FBI usually face!"

"I know what you mean, but they're professionals, Aidan." Louise sighed and said, "And I can't lie to myself anymore, I need an answer."

Louise was already crying, her beautiful blue eyes looked at the clear glass of the rearview mirror inside the car, but she saw deep despair.She didn't understand what she had done wrong, why God should treat their beloved child like this.

Jacques doesn't like to run and jump like other little boys, he is very quiet, so quiet that if you give him a book, he can sit obediently for a day.

At first, Louise was happy. She became a mother for the first time, but she felt that her son was extraordinarily well-behaved, and he didn't have all kinds of small problems that her colleagues said.

But then, things started to go wrong.

During that time, Jacques would wake up crying every night, vaguely saying that he had a nightmare, but he couldn't remember the content of the dream. The one-year-old child couldn't even speak a complete sentence, just kept crying. Aidan thinks it's a child's ploy to seek attention from their parents, but she knows it's not.

But all she could do was hug him and comfort him softly.

Unable to get help, Jacques became more and more depressed. Since then, he never talked to himself about the nightmare, and only read books every day except practicing the piano.

From the simplest alphabet books to fables, and then various popular science books, to professional psychological analysis and other thick books.

He has read a lot of books, about time, about Freud, and even some books with esoteric titles that even Louise can't understand, but a five-year-old child can read them seriously.

Aidan has not been paying much attention, he is too busy, the FBI has too many things, not to mention that he is competing with Robert for the position of team leader recently.

"If I can be elected, at least my resume will look much better, and the senior management may give priority to me for the position of deputy director next year." Aidan said.

Louise loves this man, and naturally supports him with all her strength, but she also has her own career and is very busy. Since she was transferred from BAU, she has been working in the white-collar crime team. The new environment has not fully adapted, like a mountain. The files and data left her busy and dizzy.

So when Jacques was three or four years old, they hired a full-time nanny to look after him at home.

Louise just forgot about Jacques' nightmare.

Until that day, the nanny said that Jacques had been going to bed very late every night for the past six months, and she was drowsy during the day. She was worried about what was on Jacques' mind. She rolled up her apron worriedly and said to Louise: "I want to ask him, but madam, you You know, Jac doesn't like talking to people."

She looked around, hesitated for a long time, and mentioned an incident a few days ago, she said: "Do you remember that I accidentally broke your pair of champagne glasses three days ago?"

"Yes, what's wrong?"

"Actually, JAc reminded me before that." With horror in her eyes, the nanny lowered her voice as much as possible, and said, "The day before I broke the glass, ma'am. Don't interrupt me, and, JAc , He also reminded me to take care of my little daughter, he said that although Quantico has a police station in the center of the United States and the FBI, crime is everywhere.”

Louise's face darkened, she remembered yesterday that the nanny said that her little daughter was kidnapped, and she was the one who asked the police to step up inspections to rescue her in time.

"God, I never mentioned my little daughter to JAc, ma'am." Things were beyond the poor woman's knowledge, she said in a trembling voice, "I've been taking care of JAc for four years, but, but... "

Louise felt her panic, but her heart was also filled with shock.

She suddenly remembered the nightmares that Jacques had every day when he was one year old. She tended to be a special psychological suggestion.Unlike the nanny, Louise went directly to the FBI's psychological mediation experts, hoping to get their help.

But Aidan was unwilling, he always thought that his little boy had a quieter personality, and as for those strange things, it was just a coincidence.The wife is too sensitive.

"But you insist, honey, at least wait until I come over?" Aidan finished the meeting, pressed the elevator, and said, "I think Jacques might feel more at ease if his parents are here."

"Of course." Louise stopped the car and walked through the wide corridor to the door of a classroom.

This is the cello classroom, where Jacques gives two hours of lessons every day.

"Mrs.Sauniere?" The young teaching assistant opened the door, looked at the lady in a suit in surprise, and said strangely, "Didn't you send someone to pick up JAc an hour ago?"