a quarter of his

-Are you there?

Lin Jingfan sat alone on the subway and sent a message to "None".

It has been almost two weeks since he and Xu Chen entered the cooling-off period. In the past half a month, he went to the company for internship every Monday, Tuesday, and Friday, and attended classes at school every Wednesday and Thursday.

There is no work in the laboratory, and most of my free time and weekends are spent in Starbucks.

After getting rid of the relationship of lovers, Lin Jingfan suddenly found that it was difficult for him and Xu Chen to even meet by chance.

It would be a lie to say that it is not uncomfortable, after all, this is the longest relationship experience he has had so far. After a year of getting along, even a stone will have feelings.

But for some reason, besides the discomfort, he felt a vague sense of relief.

Lin Jingfan would occasionally think about what kind of feelings he had for Xu Chen.

There must be worship, but besides worship, how many other emotions are there?

Sometimes he feels that Xu Chen and Xu Chen are more like a pair of friends. Xu Chen is so good that it makes people feel as if he doesn't need him at all.

But Lin Jingfan is essentially a giving personality, and he likes to take care of others. Although he doesn't mind being a zero, he is still quite strong in some aspects.

Occasionally he would recall his two relationships with some self-deprecation.

The time they have been together with Ying Zhe is less than two months. They have never lived like a normal couple, but when they broke up, it was so heartbreaking.

But they have been together with Xu Chen for more than a year, even though they have done all the things that should be done as a couple, they still don't have that heart-pounding feeling.

Human emotions are so complicated, and Lin Jingfan sometimes feels frustrated, why can't he find someone who loves each other and can go on together?

However, looking at men and women in the world, most people are not looking for and looking together.Maybe some people are so lucky that they will soon find the person who can know each other and love each other, but there are also some people who can't find the most right person all their lives, and they will die in their lifetime.

Lin Jingfan didn't know if it was a man's bad nature that made his relationship always in a kind of unstable turmoil, and what he hoped for was just to find someone to love and stay with him for the rest of his life.

The phone vibrated, and "None" replied the message.

"None": A busy person finds time to chat with me. Don't need to work overtime recently?

Since Lin Jingfan started his internship, he became extremely busy every Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. In the first few days, he would send a message to "None" every day to confirm his situation that day.

However, every time "None" replies to a message, he is too busy to look at his phone, and always returns after several hours. This is his usual overtime time.

"One Leaf Boat": The version tested two days ago was released today, and the boss asked me to go back early.How are you doing? How are you feeling?

"None": It's still the same as before, day after day.

"One Leaf Boat": Actually, I have been able to understand how you felt before recently. Sometimes when work is busy and life is not going well, it is really easy to get stuck.Two days ago, I had a whim and wanted to travel alone. Is there any place to recommend?

"None": Does Little Sun also have times when he wants to escape?I recommend you to go to Qinghai Lake, the scenery is very good.Yunnan is also good, lying alone in the inn, woke up by the sun every day, and continued to sleep after eating...

"Yiye Bingzhou": I have been to both of these places just now, but I didn't go alone. It's a pity. Do you have any other recommendations?

"None": Hangzhou is also good. You can go to Louwailou for an expensive meal, and you will feel much better.

"One Leaf Boat": It seems that you have a lot of experience of going out alone.

"None": lonely, no friends.What about you, had a fight with your boyfriend?

Lin Jingfan paused, seeing the three words "boyfriend", he felt a strange feeling, he pondered for a moment, and typed slowly: Break up.

"None" did not speak, and after a while, slowly typed a question mark.

"The personality is not suitable." When the subway arrived, Lin Jingfan got out of the subway while typing, "He will go abroad in the future, and he has no future. Sometimes I feel that we are just dating for the sake of dating."

Lin Jingfan swiped his card and walked out of the subway. He got off work early today and arrived at school before eight o'clock.

It was a cool spring night, and the stars hanging on the zenith seemed to be telling countless secrets. He walked back to school along the path, sat down in the open-air area of ​​Starbucks, and lowered his hair to send messages.

"One Leaf Bingzhou": He is my direct brother, and he is very good at academics.We got along very well at the beginning, and we were very comfortable when we got along, and we got together naturally.After being together, there is no special change.I wait for him in his laboratory every day, have supper together, and occasionally live in his dormitory.He loves his scientific research very much, and all things must be ranked behind scientific research. Sometimes he can't find out even if I don't go there, as if I am dispensable.

"One Leaf Bingzhou": But sometimes I am quite hypocritical, I just hope to find someone who I love very much and who loves me very much, and can go on forever.

"One Leaf Boat": Don't talk about me, how about you, have you ever been in love with a boy?

"None": We have talked about it, but we haven't met each other.

Lin Jingfan was startled: Is this even counted?

"None": I have seen each other's photos, met on Blued, chatted for three months, he wanted to meet and open a room, I refused.

"One Leaf Boat": Then what?

"None": After that, I didn't keep in touch. When we broke up, I sent a small paper scolding me for engaging in Plato's tricks and deceiving his feelings.

Lin Jingfan couldn't hold back anymore, and sat on the wicker chair shaking with laughter.

"None": I don't like anyone who likes me, and anyone who likes me doesn't like me, so I won't fall in love.

Lin Jingfan suppressed his smile: I also don't know how to fall in love, I still haven't learned how to talk about it so much.

"None": Want to share with me your love history?

Lin Jingfan smiled: Ofcouese, typing is too slow, let me send the voice.

It was already dark at night, he got up and left Starbucks, picked a road with few people, pressed the voice button, and softly talked about the two relationships.

Lin Jingfan has never felt such a carefree feeling before. The logic of his storytelling is not very clear. He basically talks about what he thinks of. The voices of 60s follow one after another, and soon he uttered a small square of voices.

……

-So, that's it, we both need to calm each other down.But I am very guilty. I found that during the period of calmness, my heart was more relaxed.

He unreservedly poured out his emotional experience like beans, and he didn't even think that the other side of the network was a stranger he had never met face to face.

Maybe it's because I've seen "None" in the most embarrassing time, so I don't mind showing him all of myself, or maybe it's because I've been under too much pressure recently, and I need someone to talk to.

He sent more than [-] voice messages in a row, and "None" listened quietly, never interjecting.

After Lin Jingfan finished his last sentence, he was silent for a long time and sent a message.

"None": So do you believe in love?

"Believe it," Lin Jingfan subconsciously pressed the voice button, and said in a daze, "But I don't know why, I haven't been able to find the right love. Maybe when two people get along, they always have to compromise for each other, but I always Can quickly see the flaws in the relationship. I am not afraid of giving, and I am not afraid of the balance being out of balance, but sometimes if you don’t feel it, you don’t feel it... Maybe they are right, men are creatures of lower body thinking, so they are always unstable in relationships factors, oh my gosh, what am I talking about…”

While talking, Lin Jingfan almost got himself involved, hurriedly canceled the voice, and finally only said one sentence.

"Well, yes, I believe in love."

"But I don't believe it," "None" said immediately, "I don't even believe that love will happen to me. This is the difference between us, little sun."

"Don't call me that, I'm not a little sun," Lin Jingfan said, "You're too pessimistic, a bit like my ex-boyfriend. It's a pleasure to chat with you when I have time to meet."

"No," "None" said, "I'm just blind, you'll be disappointed in me when you meet."

"Why do you think so?" Lin Jingfan said, "Looks are not everything, personality is more important. Besides, I still believe in my level of picking friends. The friends around me are all handsome men and women."

"None": It's because you are handsome yourself, but I can't. Not only are you ugly, but you also have a bad personality.Now separated by a network, you can't feel it. If you really get in touch, you will hate me.

Lin Jingfan keenly caught the loopholes in his words, and asked: How do you know that I am handsome?You ever met me?You're the guy from the Starbucks Patio, right?

"None": Yes.

"One Leaf Boat":! ! !

"None": During the countdown period, I lived in great pain. I really wanted to die but didn't dare. I didn't dare to tell my family or classmates. I really wanted someone to help me.I posted a countdown on blued, and sent private messages to everyone who usually chats a lot. I told myself that as long as someone, even one person, is willing to persuade me and keep me, I can continue to live.But everyone thought I was crazy and my account was stolen...Only you.

After he finished saying this sentence and posted it, Lin Jingfan's hairs almost stood on end when he saw half of it, and he didn't even dare to imagine the consequences if he turned a blind eye that day.

"None": I was sitting in Starbucks that day, and I saw you were very close from blued, so I hid immediately, and quickly locked you among a group of people.I saw you looking around anxiously, and saw you apologize to me with a serious expression.I know, I won the bet with myself.

Lin Jingfan: ……………

The author has something to say: I still love you today~