Xueba, he can't like me

"Are you receiving love letters again?"

Yin Ce paused when he heard this sentence, recovered before others noticed the abnormality, and continued to walk towards the seat, but subconsciously drifted towards Ji Yan from the corner of his eye.

Ji Yan put the light yellow letter paper on the table, frowned and scolded: "Why do you act like a trumpet? This is not so rare. As for using this voice to promote it!"

Another student in the class came over to join in the fun, "Tsk tsk tsk, you are the only one who can say such a thing, Ji Yan, who gave it to you?"

The sixteen or seventeen-year-old boy was most interested in the topic of love. After a while, a circle of people surrounded Ji Yan.

"What's so great about being handsome." Chang Hui said sourly at the same table. He glanced at Yin Ce and begged for approval, "Look at you, your grades are so good, but in the end you were taken over by someone over there." Upwind."

Yin Ce was not very happy, but he didn't show it. He suddenly found that he didn't want others to put him and Ji Yan on the opposite side.They obviously have no rivalry.

Chang Hui made fun of himself, and summed it up leisurely, "It's amazing to be handsome."

This topic has been over for 5 minutes, Yin Ce suddenly said: "Looks are just one aspect."

It was rare that Yin Ce took the initiative to speak, and Chang Hui hurriedly cheered up and echoed: "That is, the admirers attracted by being handsome have very short dating time. Look at Ji Yan, there is no fixed girlfriend at all. It must be someone who confessed and found out Ji Yankong has a superficial appearance, so he kicked him."

Yin Ce: "..."

In fact, Yin Ce's words just now were speaking for Ji Yan, but he did not expect to give Chang Hui room to diverge.

Yin Ce showed a very light smile, so light that Chang Hui didn't notice it.Ji Yan is like a kitten, he is so arrogant in the crowd, he doesn't feel easy to get along with.But when no one is around, he will reveal the little kindness in his heart and care about others in an awkward way.

During evening self-study, Yin Ce looked at the exercise book and always felt that something was missing.

He stopped writing, turned his eyes around, and finally found that the sight that usually wraps around himself from time to time has disappeared.This made Yin Ce a little uncomfortable.He looked at Ji Yan, maybe his hair covered his eyes, or maybe Ji Yan was too focused on the light yellow letter paper in front of him, in short, Ji Yan didn't notice Yin Ce's movements, and was still frowning and thinking about the letter paper in front of him.

After school in the evening, Yin Ce once again broke his principles. When passing by the library, he took a detour and saw Ji Yan behind the bamboo forest.There was a girl standing in front of him, the light was too dim, and Yin Ce couldn't see her face clearly.

"Thank you, but I didn't want to talk about personal relationships in high school."

Yin Ce leaned on the other side of the bamboo forest and heard Ji Yan's reply.

After a while, there were two footsteps, Yin Ce hid in the dark, and no one found him.

"Huh..." Yin Ce came out after the two of them walked away.Just breathed a sigh of relief, and immediately froze, why did he feel relieved? ?

This little episode quickly passed by in my sophomore career.Ji Yan is still the Ji Yan who secretly looks at Yin Ce when everyone is not paying attention. Yin Ce is still the Yin Ce who enjoys Ji Yan's gaze every day without even realizing it. Panicked, one secretly rejoiced.

The habit of nearly a year is a brand new experience for Yin Ce. He has never thought about the hidden meaning of this behavior, but instinctively does not want to destroy it.

The third year of high school is the most critical year for students.Yin Ce reviewed in an orderly manner at his own pace, and was not affected by the tense atmosphere of the senior year.

"Once this last year is over, we'll go our separate ways..."

"No, I heard that many people cut off contact after high school and never met each other."

"I must confess to the girl I like before I graduate, otherwise I will never have the chance to speak in my life!"

Listening to the words of the students in the front seat, Yin Ce's heart shrank suddenly.

He who has been looking forward has actually begun to enjoy the status quo this year, and hopes that this status quo can be maintained forever.

This is so unlike him, and what's more frightening is that he has a slight panic about the separation after a year.

He could simply imagine that a year later, when he was sitting in a brand new environment, when he raised his head, the sight that always stared at him disappeared.

Yin Ce hesitated for a class, seriously thinking about his attention to Ji Yan's repeated breaking of the principle and the unspeakable joy in his heart.He directly crossed the barrier of gender and directly hit Ji Yan, how he felt about him.

Why do you want to maintain the status quo, why don't you want to separate.

Yin Ce couldn't figure it out no matter how he thought about it, what kept circulating in his mind was Ji Yan's stare when he was angry, his concern and greeting when he was in a hurry, his arrogance when he was surrounded by everyone, and his kindness when he took off his mask alone.Sometimes I will speak bad words to myself, but in the next second, I immediately feel the annoyance in the other party's heart.Yin Ce, who has observed Ji Yan for a whole year, already knows every movement of Ji Yan by heart.

Does this count as liking?

As a person who never procrastinates when facing difficulties, Yin Ce tore the draft paper in half after thinking clearly, and wrote on the note without blushing or heartbeat as if he was serious about homework: Ji Yan , I like you, at noon, can you wait for me in the peach blossom forest behind the library?

It is said that couples who get married in the peach blossom forest will be together for a long time.But that was when the peach blossoms bloomed in spring, and now it is also a peach tree, so the effect should not be much different.

After evening self-study, Yin Ce stayed until the end.

The entire teaching building fell into silence, and the lights in the corridors were turned on and off.Yin Ce took the note and walked to Ji Yan's desk, where there were still unfinished test papers spread out by Ji Yan.

He gently touched Ji Yan's name, pressed the note under his test paper, and pressed it with an eraser.

Many girls confess to Ji Yan at night, but he wants to do it at noon, because in the sunlight, he can see the changes in Ji Yan's face carefully. Will Ji Yan be stunned tomorrow?

For the first time, Yin Ce tasted the mood of anticipation.

After school at noon, Yin Ce packed up his textbooks and went to eat. As soon as he got to the podium, he was stopped by the head teacher who hadn't left yet.

Then Yin Ce was dragged by the head teacher to talk for a long time about the issue of recommendation. During the talk, two students asked questions. The head teacher waved his hand and asked Yin Ce to help them guide. Seemingly understanding but not understanding, the class teacher started to help them explain the topic again, and Yin Ce left or stayed or stayed.

After leaving the classroom, it was already 12:30, Yin Ce went to the cafeteria to eat, looked at the time, it was just 5 minutes away, and hurried towards Taolin.

The weather was fine today, and many people were basking in the sun on the playground. The peach grove behind the library had only bare tree trunks, and there were not many people staying. As soon as Yin Ce went, he saw Ji Yan's back.

Yin Ce had a smile on his face that he hadn't noticed. Just as he was about to take a step, he saw several other students walking up to Ji Yan. Ji Yan turned his back to Yin Ce and talked to several students.Yin Ce leaned aside and waited for a while, confessing that he didn't want to be disturbed by others.

But what he didn't expect was that soon, Ji Yan turned his head, with an irritable expression and hurried steps. When passing by him, he gave him a very complicated look.

The moment they passed by, Yin Ce heard Ji Yan whisper, "It's him, what kind of confession is this, it's so frustrating."

A simple sentence overturned Yin Ce's pleasant one-sided interaction.He leaned his back against the wall and laughed at himself: "Is it bad?"

His self-righteous guesses are really bad.

From this day on, Yin Ce never paid attention to Ji Yan again, and devoted himself to his studies.Try to avoid contact between the two, and ignore Ji Yan's occasional glances.

Since you don't like it, why pay attention to him every day.

When Yin Ce left the classroom between classes, he was stopped by a junior school girl.

The school girl said shyly, "Can you give this to Ji Yan for me?"

"Ji Yan?" Yin Ce whispered these two words, glanced at the scented envelope, and the temperature around his body dropped a little, "I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with you."

Just when Song Yan came over, he took the envelope from the school girl and said, "Sister, senior brother will deliver it for you." Song Yan gave Yin Ce a sideways look, and snorted, "Why are you dragging?"

Yin Ce did not participate in the last sports meeting in high school. He stood in the classroom, looked at Ji Yan who was sweating on the playground, and said to himself: "My life is just back on track."

Since then, Yin Ce's life has never intersected with Ji Yan's.

If there is no appearance of that school uniform.

After the college entrance examination, Yin Ce's luggage was about to be moved home. Yin's mother came to pick him up. Originally, Yin's mother said to help him move with him, but Yin Ce refused, "It's okay, you can just sit in the car, I will do it myself."

Yin Ce had a lot of books, and he didn't want to throw them away, so he moved them away first.Fortunately, I had already moved once before the exam, and this time the luggage was not too much. Yin Ce finished moving the books after moving it once, and then the bedding and so on.

Yin Ce shook his arms and walked back to the dormitory, but bumped into Ji Yan.Ji Yan was obviously taken aback when he saw him, but quickly left with the school uniform tightly in his arms.

Yin Ce looked back at him, why did he come from that direction?

After thinking about it for half a minute, his thoughts were immediately pulled back, what did Ji Yan's matter have to do with him.

Yin Ce moved two more times. For the last time, he looked at the empty bed and guessed that he hadn't forgotten to bring anything, so he picked up his backpack and left.

"Hey, Yin Ce, you don't want any clothes?"

"Clothes?" Yin Ce turned his head. He had packed the clothes in the suitcase a long time ago. Logically speaking, there should be none left. He walked to the balcony and took a look. There were no clothes on the clothes rack.

Chang Hui threw the school uniform to him from his bed and said, "Do you want to wash your school uniform?"

Yin Ce held the school uniform in his hand and said, "They all graduated..."

Before he finished speaking, Chang Hui held up his school uniform and said, "It is precisely because I graduated that I took it away. When I get old, I can take it out and enjoy it!"

"Okay, then I'm leaving." Yin Ce took away so readily not because of what Chang Hui said, but because if he didn't take it, he would definitely listen to Chang Hui's long speech.

More than half a month later, when the grades came down, Yin Ce looked at the grades starting with the seven characters, and his heart was not disturbed.

Going to school again is to fill in volunteers.Yin Ce only glanced at Ji Yan from a distance in the classroom.

Leaving the school, one faces south and the other faces north.

During the summer vacation, Yin Ce went to his grandmother's house and stayed there for more than a month. He didn't return home until the notice came soon.

After waking up in the morning to take a shower, Yin Ce took clothes from the closet. Just as he opened the closet, a blue and white coat slipped off. He picked it up, grabbed the collar and shook the dust twice. When he saw the length of the school uniform in the mirror, , an exception was found.

He took the coat and compared it to himself, it was obviously shorter, and he was most familiar with the school uniform he had worn for three years.Yin Ce glanced back and forth at the school uniform, "It's not like I took someone else's by mistake."

His bed was only on Chang Hui's side, and the other two's beds were on the opposite side of him, so they would usually not be misplaced, but this one couldn't be Chang Hui's. Before leaving, Chang Hui obviously picked up the school uniform himself.

Yin Ce sat on the bed and checked the school uniform carefully. Some people in his class would write their names on the school uniform for fear of getting it wrong.He searched around, and finally saw traces of gel pen on the hem of the inner lining.

The handwriting is too small, and you won't notice it if you don't pay attention.Yin Ce lifted the hem of his clothes, and after seeing it clearly, he was stunned.

It was Ji Yan.

Yin Ce recalled the meeting between the two on the day they moved their luggage. Ji Yan was holding a school uniform in his arms, and he was walking from the direction of their dormitory.

Ji Yan...how could it be him?

Yin Ce clenched the clothes in his hands, why did Ji Yan do this?If you like him, what did that sentence mean?

He picked up his phone, only to realize that he didn't have Ji Yan's contact information at all.

Once there is something on his mind, Yin Ce can't calm down until he solves it. He picks up his mobile phone and rushes directly to the school. By this time, the third year of high school has already started.

When Yin Ce walked into the office, the head teacher was correcting homework with glasses on. He knocked on the door, and the head teacher said without looking up, "Please come in."

"teacher……"

As soon as Yin Ce spoke, the head teacher took off his glasses and said, "It's Yin Ce, the notice is here?"

"It should be these two days." Yin Ce asked a few words, "Teacher, do you know where Ji Yan's home is?"

"I know. I'll check. Are you going to find him? That's just right. He forgot to take his graduation certificate. When you go, help him take it."

"Okay." While the class teacher was looking for the address, Yin Ce opened Ji Yan's graduation certificate. In the photo, Ji Yan was wearing a school uniform with a smile on his face. I'm afraid it would be difficult for anyone to look as good-looking as he did in his ID photo.

Holding the note with Ji Yan's address and phone number, Yin Ce went directly to the destination by car.

With a burst of momentum, he came to the door of Ji Yan's house, raised his hand and hesitated, and didn't know if rushing so directly would cause trouble to the other party.

This idea only lasted for two seconds, and Yin Ce immediately began to knock on the door. After all, everyone has come, and he cannot return without success.

Yin Ce knocked on the door regularly, but there was no movement in the room.

This is not at home?

Yin Ce picked up his phone and followed the phone number on the note.

"Young man, look for Ji Yan. He left, his mother remarried, and he is not wanted anymore. The two had a big fight and broke up. He left after receiving the notice two days ago, and returned before he left. Say goodbye to me." A kind-faced grandma walked up to Ji Yan's house next door and sighed, "Damn it, my father divorced and left happily when he was in the third year of junior high school, and my mother was happy when he was in the third year of high school Remarriage, this kind of adult really... only thinks about himself, and doesn't care about the child's opinion at all..."

It wasn't until the old lady entered the door that Yin Ce came back to his senses.

gone?

"No, I heard that many people cut off contact after high school and never met each other."

The classmate's words gradually became clear, will he and Ji Yan do the same?

Yin Ce quickly dialed Ji Yan's number.

"Sorry, the number you dialed is off..."

It is possible that Ji Yan is on the plane, and it might work if he tries again at night.

With this thought in mind, Yin Ce returned home, but his favorite exercise book could not make him concentrate. He looked at the mobile phone in front of him and dialed the number again, but there was still a cold female voice on the receiver.

For the rest of the summer vacation, Yin Ce dialed that number whenever he had time, and never got a second voice.

The autumn wind brought a hint of coolness, and Yin Ce stepped into a new environment.

A brand new campus, surrounded by brand new classmates, this is a brand new beginning for him, as for his unstarted love affair, like the unreturned graduation certificate, he has been sealed in a drawer by dust.

However, as soon as he was free, he would unconsciously dial the string of familiar numbers.

"Sorry, the number you dialed is temporarily unavailable, sorry..." Yin Ce pressed the phone, unable to tell what he was obsessed with.

Yin Ce once contacted Chang Hui and asked him to ask for Ji Yan's QQ number in the class group, but the friend application has been sent for so long and has not been approved.

As other students in the class said, Ji Yan seemed to have evaporated from the world.

After his freshman year, Yin Ce transferred to the Department of Finance.

Yin Ce changed his intention of going the academic route, and moved towards the commercial field.He has always paid no attention to his appearance, he began to accept the advice of his roommates, to modify his appearance a little, and manage his interpersonal relationship carefully. By the time he was in senior year, he had his own team.At the same time, the number I dialed for four years finally got through, but it was a strange girl who said it was the number she just bought...

The last contact was also disconnected.

Fortunately, there is no unparalleled road. Yin Ce once passed by Buying Appliances City, and a TV series was playing on the huge screen. Yin Ce had never been interested in such things, but that unintentional glance made him see a familiar person. figure.

He couldn't wait to search Ji Yan's name on his mobile phone. There wasn't much news, but it was enough for Yin Ce to understand Ji Yan's current situation. Is he really going to be a star?

There was a hint of excitement in Yin Ce's tone, "You will do what you say, classmate Ji Yan."

Back home, Yin Ce watched TV in a very idle manner. Ji Yan played only supporting roles, and there were very few scenes. Yin Ce watched with great interest and commented: "Ji Yan, you really are not suitable to be an actor." But He still couldn't get enough of it.

Yin Ce is not in the entertainment industry and knows that it is not easy to survive in the entertainment industry. Ji Yan's personality may be what he will be bullied into.

After that, the employees in Yin Ce's company suddenly discovered that their boss's diligence had risen to another level.

When he earns enough money, let Ji Yan become the leading actor. Word of mouth doesn't matter, and money loss doesn't matter, as long as Ji Yan is happy.

Yin Ce used his Weibo account to follow Ji Yan's activities every day, and from time to time, he checked his account for a few more zeros.It feels like we're still a little short of our goal.

"If you win this order, your goal must be accomplished." A friend who started the business with him laughed.

Yin Ce collected information carefully, and his impetuous heart calmed down. He raised the corners of his mouth, and he was sure of winning.

In another month, he will be able to walk in front of Ji Yan. I don't know if Ji Yan at that time will show a playful expression like he did in high school.

But sometimes, earth-shaking changes can happen in an instant.

"Car accident?" Yin Ce said these two words with difficulty.

"Yes, in order to save a primary school student..."

Yin Ce sat there stiffly, the goal he had been striving for for the past few years collapsed.

Because Ji Yan's relatives could not be contacted, in the end, Yin Ce took care of Ji Yan's funeral.It's just that he didn't show up during this period.

The secretary in charge of this matter hesitated and said, "Are you really not going to see me for the last time?"

Yin Ce shook his head.

Until now, he still can't accept the reality, thinking evasively, if he doesn't see him, it means that Ji Yan hasn't left yet, they are still living in two corners of City C, looking forward to reunion one day.

Yin Ce held on to this idea and persisted for a few days.

What are you holding on to?

How many sleepless nights, Yin Ce asked himself repeatedly.

This is just an ignorant love affair in adolescence, but it has accompanied him through countless springs, summers, autumns and winters.

Midnight dreamed of going back to the campus, and what flashed was still Ji Yan's stare from embarrassment, so vivid and beautiful.

In recent years, it is not that no one has expressed affection to him, but Yin Ce always subconsciously compares him with Ji Yan. The result is that no real person can compare to Ji Yan who has been beautified by memory.And once they got to work, their feelings were not so pure. After a few months of attacking, many girls found that Yin Ce was not good enough, so they gave up their goals.

There will never be a person who simply looks at himself who has nothing but grades every day like he did back then.That pure love, clean and moving.

It's all settled.No matter how long you avoid it, you have to face it.

Yin Ce imagined countless ways for them to meet again, but this one was the only one he missed.

On a cloudy and rainy day, Yin Ce dressed up quietly and drove to the cemetery alone. On the way, he passed a flower shop. The roses that the clerk was arranging were so white and pure that Yin Ce couldn't help but stop the car.

"Sir, is there anything I need?"

"Help me wrap a bouquet of white roses."

"We provide cards here. If you have something to say to the flower sender, you can write it down and put it on it."

The clerk took the card without any explanation, and Yin Ce looked at the card in a daze, and Yin Ce didn't start writing until the other party wrapped the bouquet.

"gentlemen?"

Yin Ce picked up the pen and wrote a line of words on the card one stroke at a time.

Ji Yan, eternal love.

There was drizzle in the sky, and Yin Ce walked slowly to the tomb holding a black umbrella.

On the tombstone is the photo on Ji Yan's graduation certificate.

Yin Ce put away the umbrella, and the pattering rain hit him. He took out a card from his pocket and put it in front of the tombstone. The card was quickly soaked by the rain, and the handwriting was slightly smudged.He took out a rose from the bouquet, put it on his lips and kissed it, finally pressed it on the paper, and left without looking back.

Along the way, Yin Ce was so numb that he couldn't feel his emotions.

sad?Lost?He didn't know that even the act of kissing the petals was done by instinct.

Back home, Yin Ce took out the box he got from Ji Yan. During this period of time, he has never had the courage to touch Ji Yan's belongings.

"Ji Yan has always been a loner, doesn't contact his family, and doesn't have any friends..."

"Even when he died, we didn't know who to turn to..."

"It's so pitiful, it feels like nothing..."

When I went to Ji Yan's rental house that day, Yin Ce frowned every time he heard the words of the co-tenants.

"You look so good, don't you have a girlfriend?" Yin Ce sat on the ground regardless of the expensive suit on his body. The dust on the box was wiped clean, and the password may not be locked because of urgency.Yin Ce unzipped the zipper and opened the box.

His pupils constricted suddenly, and Yin Ce knew that this school uniform, which he knew so well, belonged to him without guessing.

He took out the clothes with trembling hands, revealing the test paper and the note hidden under the clothes. Yin Ce picked it up, his name was written on the test paper but it was all in Chang Hui's handwriting, and on the note was only a line written by himself at the beginning. , and there are two more question marks.With just one glance, he immediately understood.

When Chang Hui's test paper was missing, he had a hard time looking for it. It turned out that Ji Yan had hidden it. Why did Ji Yan hide it? Of course it was because... Yin Ce's name was written in the name of this test paper.

"Pa-ta..." A drop of water fell on the test paper, blurring Chang Hui's caterpillar-like words, and Yin Ce lowered his head and sighed with a smile, "Ji Yan, Ji Yan, you are too unqualified as an admirer. How can you not recognize my characters...my...my characters...how is it possible...how is it possible...like Chang Hui..." The rest of the words were hidden in his throat and he couldn't get them out. Covering his eyes with his hands, he leaned against the bed, maintaining this movement for a long time.

Standing up again, Yin Ce has returned to normal, only the red corners of his eyes revealed his changes. Yin Ce took out Ji Yan's school uniform from the closet, because he was worried that the handwriting would be lost. Yin Ce never washed it once. Put this school uniform together with Ji Yan's graduation certificate in the box, seal the box carefully, and put it in the bottom of the storage room at home.

Taking a deep look at the box in the corner...

Ji Yan, you don't have nothing. In your loneliest days, you have always had my eternal love.

It's a pity that no one can tell me the answer I want anymore, and I won't spend more than ten years so wholeheartedly caring for one person.

"Click." The door of the storage room was locked, and the ten-year-long relationship between the two people would never be known to the third person.