There is a kind of love that is insincere

I eat very slowly, I really want time to slow down, preferably to a certain level, but time does not follow people's wishes.I finished the last grain of rice, and he has been watching me for a long time.

I put down my lunch box, looked at him, and said slowly, "Lan Shining, do you think you should consider yourself gay if you like a guy?"

"Are you talking about yourself?"

I nodded.

"Then do you think you are?" He didn't focus on the question asked by the other party, what he cared about was whether the other party was gay?

I shook my head, "I shouldn't."

The only person I like is Yu Yueshui, and being with Zhuo Luoyin is not my original intention.

"Just love him?"

"Yes."

"You think you love him?"

"Well, I love him, not like him. I know the difference between liking and loving."

He smiled, not mocking, "Do you really know? Can you accept everything about him? Including the harm he did to you?"

He stopped me so much that his words reminded me of Yu Yueshui beating me up.

I hung the curtain and didn't speak.

"Yuan Yi, you actually know your feelings for him, so why continue?" He gave the other party a conclusion, but didn't point it out.

I was slightly stunned, but does this mean that I don't love Yuyue Shui?

"Isn't love beautiful?"

I have always believed that love is beautiful, and it can make love and the loved one happy together.

"Yes, love is very beautiful, but if you want to love the wrong person, it becomes not beautiful."

"Not everyone's love is beautiful, sometimes love is cruel."

"Indeed, but what is the definition of love?"

Lan Shining was silent, hugged me, and gave me an invisible comfort.

I leaned against him, and suddenly said, "Lan Shining, after two people are together, is it true that the only way to increase their relationship is through physical integration?"

He was taken aback, "Not only, but you and him are both men, and the relationship between you and him is weaker than that between heterosexuals, and maybe it needs to be a little deeper." He is not gay, and he is not too clear, but from his cognition , the feelings of the body are more superficial than the feelings of the mind.

I laughed miserably, "Really? But he cares."

"Yuan Yi, that's why you guys quarreled, right?" After he asked, he suddenly thought of something, and added, "He hasn't called to care about you until now, so he must have quarreled with you, right?"

I nodded, "Yeah." Because of this, it's not all because of this, and I really can't figure out what's so good about it, and it hurts so much.

Zhuo Luoyin, what does he want me to do?Accept him completely?But the person I love is Yu Yueshui!

Seeing that the other party didn't catch the bad language in his words, he secretly heaved a sigh of relief.You can make it clear to him. "

"I can't say it. I think he will misunderstand if he knows."

He hesitated, "What is the misunderstanding?"

I shook my head and said, "I don't know, but I can't tell by intuition."

I can't understand Zhuo Luoyin, he is always angry with me, I don't know what he is angry with every time, I am afraid that because of this matter he will force me to do that kind of thing, that is too scary.

"Have you got a way to tell him?"

"Yes, but he probably wants me to tell the truth." Thinking of Zhuo Luoyin's aggressive appearance at that time, I felt uncomfortable.

"And then?" He knew that what the other party said next was the key point.

I looked at the ceiling, "Then I lied to him, and he left in anger."

Lan Shicui said nothing, if he had a lover, he wouldn't want the person he likes to lie to him, at least the person in front of him didn't realize this, and he wouldn't tell the other party, "He probably didn't understand from your point of view. How you feel."

"Is that right?"

"If he wants to love you, he will understand you."

"I don't need to tell him what's in my heart?"

"No, after you say it, he may be angry with you."

"That's right..." The thing I'm afraid of is that Zhuo Luoyin will get angry, if he gets angry, he and I will quarrel, I hate quarrels, it's very tiring.

After seeing that the other party believed his words, he felt that he shouldn't twist the other party's thinking like this, but he felt that the other party had concealed something from him.

"But he hasn't called yet, should I call him?" I was worried, but I didn't know what to worry about.

"When he's angry, he should call you. You can wait a little longer."

"Alright then, I'll listen to you." I just didn't want to meet Zhuo Luoyin so early.

I didn't sleep well at Lan Shining's house that night, I was half asleep and half awake.I didn't really fall asleep until the sky turned white, but I had a very scary dream.

"Yuan Yi? Wake up?"

Lan Shining's voice expanded in my ears, I opened my eyes with difficulty, and the moment I saw him, I hugged him tightly, but the fear in my heart did not disappear, that dream was too real and too false .

I didn't know that my face was covered with tears, but I just felt that I had to find a gentle body so that I could clearly know that I was not in a dream.Who is the man in the dream, how could he rape me, this should be just a dream.

Lan Shining listened to the other party's choking voice, suppressed the doubts in her heart, and patted the other party's back to make him feel better.

It took me a while to get over my fear.I looked at Lan Shining and really wanted to tell him what happened in my dream, but how should I tell him?

It is impossible for me to tell him that I dreamed that I was raped by someone, it is impossible to say this.What I can do is to keep the content of this dream in my heart, maybe it's just a dream.I comfort myself, don't care about it.

"Yuan Yi, are you having a nightmare?" He asked with concern, and I nodded halfway.

Lan Shining felt that the shirt on the other party's body was wet with sweat, and she could see how terrifying the other party's dream must be to scare the other party like this.

"Did you dream about ghosts?"

I was taken aback, "Huh?"

Lan Yu couldn't see what was wrong with me, and then said, "There are no ghosts in this world, don't be afraid."

I nodded, but didn't let go of my arms around him.I felt that if I let go, I would fall into that dream again and meet the man who terrified me.

He noticed that the other party was trembling, and hugged him tighter. He didn't feel how strange the actions of him and the other party were at this moment, he just wanted to reassure the other party.

"Yuan Yi has me here, and I will drive the ghost away for you." He comforted the other party, thinking that if he could appear in the other party's dream, he would definitely help the other party eliminate the ghost.

"But he's not a ghost..." I said subconsciously, I was so scared, when I closed my eyes now, it was the behavior that man did to me in the dream, which made me sick.

He didn't hear clearly, "What did you say?"

I shook my head at him, opening my eyes, though it hurt, but I didn't want to close them.

Lan Shining felt uncomfortable, what kind of dream did the other party have?

He hesitated and said, "Yuan Yi, what is the content of your dream?" He didn't want to ask this at first, but seeing the other party like this, he was very worried.

"I do not know."

"Is that dream..."

"Lan Shining! Don't ask, okay?" I cried and looked at him, really not wanting to think about that dream.

When he saw me crying, he sighed, hugged me tightly, and didn't ask any more questions.My eyes hurt from crying, and I couldn't open them because of the pain. He took a wet towel and put it on my eyes, which made me feel better.

I tugged at the corner of his clothes tightly, fearing that he would disappear.

He looked at me, "Yuan Yi, let me change your clothes, your clothes are wet."

I nodded, and then let go of my hand.

He took the clothes and wanted to take them off for me, but stopped.He took off the towel covering my eyes, and gave me a white shirt and jeans, which should have been worn by him for a long time.

"Put it on yourself."

I froze for a moment, nodded and said, "Yeah."

It's not that Lan Shining didn't want to wear it for the other party, but he realized that if he did that, the other party would definitely misunderstand something.He watched the other party unbutton his clothes and take off his pants. His thin and white body was shown in front of him, making him frown. It was indeed very thin. He touched the other party's back with his hand.The touch on my back frightened me, I looked at Lan Shining in horror, and I stepped back.

Seeing that the other party reacted so strongly, he secretly scolded himself for being cheap, and now his hand froze in mid-air, "Yuan Yi, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

I know he didn't mean to touch me, but the touch on the front made me almost scream.

I bowed my head and said, "It's okay," and then I clenched my clothes tightly, my hands trembling.

"But you're scared."

"No, I'm not afraid," but my voice was shaking, but I kept shaking my head.

Lan Shining couldn't stand it anymore, he was almost worried to death when the other party was like this.He grabbed me, frowned and asked, "What is it about that dream that scared you so much? Tell me, Yuan Yi, I want to know."

I bit my lip and shook my head, I can't tell him, absolutely can't tell him, I don't want to tell anyone.

He couldn't force the other party, so he could only sigh, "Forget it, don't say it if you don't want to."

After he finished speaking, I remained silent, and he let go of me and walked to the window.I was alone in the room, and for a moment I lost my mind.I changed my clothes, went to the balcony, and approached Lan Shining.

I don't know how to resolve the previous problem, but I don't want to have conflicts with him.I followed his gaze to the sky, the sky was clear and blue.

Before I could say anything first, he said, "Yuan Yi, if anything happens to you in the future, please tell me the truth, otherwise I will be very worried about you."

He looked at me sideways, his eyes full of worry.I don't say a word, but there are always some things that I can't say for one reason or another. Now that this happened, I don't know what will happen in the future.I can't promise him what he said.

I looked up at him, "I can't do that."

"I mean the things you can say."

He will not force the other party, all he wants to do is to be able to help the other party when the other party needs help.

"Lan Shining, you don't have to be so nice to me."

"You are very kind to me." He was just paying back with courtesy, and it was just a little more selfish.

I bowed my head and said, "I just gave you a mobile phone." I didn't understand my thoughts at this time, and I was actually trying to distance myself from him?How can I do this?

"I know, but Yuan Yi, I always feel that you and I have known each other a long time ago, and I want to treat you well, and you give me a very strong sense of familiarity." Lan Shining is not feudal and superstitious, but he seems to feel that There is a saying of past lives and present lives.

I listened, couldn't help laughing, and patted him on the back, "How familiar?"

He grabbed my hand, met my gaze, and moved his face closer to mine, where my nose was opposite his.

"Did you feel it?"

"No."

He was helpless.

I'm telling the truth, how can there be strangers who feel that two people have met before when they meet.He probably feels that I have a good face, and the idea of ​​being familiar with me is not reliable at all.

I smiled and asked, "You don't believe in reincarnation, do you?"

After pondering, he said seriously, "I didn't believe it before, but I believe it when I see you."

His affirmative tone made me a little dazed, but I didn't believe that thing.

"That's probably your illusion."

"Maybe, or maybe not. He once saw some content in the Buddhist scriptures when he was borrowing books in the school library. It said that it was the fruit planted in the previous life and the flower that bloomed in the present life. Transcendence is unrealistic no matter how you think about it, but there are still many unrealistic things in this world, and reincarnation is not necessarily fake.

I think if I met Lan Shining in my previous life, what kind of identities would we have?Is Blue Yan a confidant?

Lan Shining said suddenly, "Yuan Yi, let me show you something."

He went inside and flipped through his pile of books.I was puzzled, so I followed him in to see what he was looking for, but I didn't know what he was looking for.

"Is it about me?"

He nodded, "Well, I drew you before I saw you."

I was surprised, "Huh?"

"I once dreamed of you, but I thought you just appeared in a dream. I didn't expect to meet you one day. You say it's amazing."

Lan Shining flipped through the book while talking, but he frowned, forgot which book he drew the other party on?

"It's fine if you can't find it, I believe what you say."

He shook his head and said resolutely, "No, we must find it. It's evidence."

I'm speechless.

He stopped, thinking about the content of the dream, it wasn't particularly good, should he tell the other party?But if he said it, the other party would definitely be upset, and it should be just a dream.

He looked at me and said softly, "I seem to have lost it."

"It's okay." Because I didn't want to see his drawing of me, I knelt down and helped him rearrange the messy books.

"Did your dream predict anything about me?"

He was still looking at me.there is nothing. "

"Is it just my face?"

.Um. "He nodded, but he couldn't tell the other party about his dream. In that dream, the other party's face was somewhat hopeless.