Stop loss

Qin Ge should have run away, but he stood there in a daze. It was the first time he heard that there was such a place in the hospital.

He followed the instructions and walked into the elevator of the inpatient department to reach the top floor.After the elevator door opened, the walls of the corridor in front of him were painted in warm colors, bright yellow on the top and pink on the bottom. It was as warm as a kindergarten full of laughter, rather than treating critically ill patients with no hope of cure.

Qin Ge came back to his senses and walked out of the elevator.Below the nurse's desk on his left is posted an introduction to the clinic and its purpose - to make the last journey of life more dignified.

Qin Ge asked which ward the nurse Chen Yue was in.He walked to the end of the corridor, and there were two beds in the wards with open doors along the way, and there were no single rooms.

Beds in public hospitals are in short supply no matter where they are.

After Qin Ge turned the doorknob, he was not as reckless as before, and he made some mental preparations, but when he saw Chen Qiye kneeling in front of the hospital bed, his heart still trembled.

With his back facing the door, Chen Qiye knelt on the chair with his bent leg in order to get closer to Chen Yue without pressing her body.He held Chen Yue's skinny hand with a thin layer of wrinkled skin on the back, and his posture remained motionless.Chen Yue glanced towards the door, only then did Chen Qiye turn his head, and saw Qin Ge standing there blankly.

Qin Ge hurriedly stepped forward and stood beside Chen Qiye. When he saw Chen Yue's current state, he lowered his eyes unbearably.Chen Yue was already thin, but after the diagnosis, she became more and more weak, and her vitality was drained away bit by bit.Chen Xiye was quite optimistic at first, because the last time he had a follow-up visit, the doctor personally said that the targeted drugs had a good inhibitory effect, but when they went to the hospital last week, the doctor gave Chen Yue, who was dizzy and weak, no medicine at all. No, just let them go back.

What the doctor meant was that Chen Yue's condition was already so serious that there was no need for radiotherapy.Chen Xiye didn't believe it, and told the doctor that his mother ate and slept normally every day, and occasionally went for a walk, but she was just a little dizzy, why didn't she get cured.

The doctor could only explain to him the test reports one by one in detail. The cancer cells had spread to the brain and pressed on the central nervous system, so his mother was dizzy.

Chen Qiye was devastated, and he still didn't recover after returning to the newly rented house, as if he was the one who suffered from an incurable disease.Compared with him, Chen Yue, whose deadline was approaching, was extremely calm. She handed over the passbook containing the demolition funds to Chen Qiye, hoping that Chen Qiye would use the money to go to college.

Chen Yue is explaining the funeral.Chen Qiye shook his head and said that he had checked a lot of information, as long as he persisted in taking medicine and remained optimistic, many cancer patients could live for another three to five years, no different from normal people.

He believed that his mother would be the one to be favored. His good luck seemed to have run out. That night, Chen Yue started to have a high fever, difficulty breathing and dizziness. After being sent to the emergency department by ambulance, he stayed in the general ward for a day , but no matter how much medication was used, the brain pressure could not be lowered. The next day, he suddenly fell into a coma and had to be admitted to the ICU for rescue.

The cost of the ICU is five figures a day. The longer you stay in it, the greater the financial pressure on the patient's family.Chen Yue has terminal cancer, and the equipment in the intensive care unit can only maintain her vital signs, but Chen Qiye still does not hesitate to take out the demolition money to pay for medical expenses.

Of course he knew that Chen Yue would rather spend the money on himself than throw it into the bottomless pit of medical care, but if he didn't do this, he would regret it for the rest of his life. The ICU does not allow bed companions and visits. Chen Qiye has been waiting outside the ward for a few days. What he waited for was not a miracle, but a notice of critical illness.

The rescue plan proposed by the doctor was to put on a ventilator. Chen Qiye nodded, naively believing that his mother would survive.

But the doctor also said that after the ventilator tube is inserted, it is impossible to remove it, and pressing the chest is likely to cause rib fractures.

Chen Qiye gritted his teeth and covered his chest, which was suffering from severe psychological pain. His mother, who had been plugged with various tubes, suffered less than one ten thousandth of the pain these days, and now she was on a ventilator again...

He asked doctors how long his mother would live without a ventilator.The doctor could not give a specific answer, only that there would not be much time.

Chen Qiye did not sign the rescue agreement in the end, and Chen Yue was transferred from the ICU to the hospice ward.Perhaps this was also Chen Yue's choice in the dark, and she also hoped that the last thing she saw would be Chen Xiye, not the cold instrument, so she opened her eyes in a flash, and moved her fingers almost imperceptibly.

Chen Xiye, who had been staring at the ECG monitor non-stop, had light in his eyes, and wanted to ring the bell to call the nurse over. Chen Yue stopped him with his eyes, and his fingers continued to vibrate slightly, as if he was about to touch Chen Xiye's palm. I can write, but I have no energy.

Chen Qiye gently took his mother's hand, knelt on the chair and leaned closer, reading Chen Yue's wriggling lips.Before she could finish her sentence, Chen Yue's eyeballs slowly glanced towards the door. Chen Qiye turned his head and saw Qin Ge at the door.

Qin Ge walked to the hospital bed and called Chen Yue "Auntie".

He never expected that the first time he met Chen Yue would be like this.Obviously never met before, he and Chen Yue looked at each other with sunken gray eyes, and tears fell down.

It was the first time he had come so close to death.He didn't even feel sad, he was simply shocked by the fragility of life.

When a person is about to die, his eyes really shine, reminiscing about his life and the shortcomings that have not been made up.Chen Yue also has an unfulfilled last wish. His son is still so young. If he can only walk alone in the future, it will be very hard.

"Auntie..." Qin Ge held Chen Xiye's hand, held Chen Yue's hand with him, nodded and promised, "Don't worry."

A tear fell from the end of Chen Yue's eyes, consummation.

She slowly closed her eyes, the light in her black eyes gradually faded, and finally disappeared together with the ups and downs on the ECG monitor.

Chen Qiye was also cold and stiff, as if his soul had been withdrawn from his body, and he followed his dearest relatives in the world.

He still lowered his head, and no one could see his face and expression.Qin Ge thought that he was crying, and that he would cry slowly and break down, but Chen Qiye took a few deep breaths, straightened his back, leaned on the wall and went out to find a nurse. From the beginning to the end, his eyes were red and his teeth were clenched. shed a tear.

After that, Chen Qiye rarely spoke.

He declined other people's help and dealt with Chen Yue's funeral alone.People in Tanzhou generally have strong nostalgia for their hometown and pay attention to returning fallen leaves to their roots. However, Chen Yue and Chen Qiye mentioned it several times before his death, asking him to scatter his ashes into the sea.

Before Chen Qiye didn't listen to his mother's advice, he put most of the demolition money into the intensive care unit. In the end, he fulfilled his mother's wish and didn't buy a cemetery, and took her ashes to the seaside.

Qin Ge went with him.The two rented a small fishing boat, and only opened the urn to throw the ashes after the boat was almost out of sight of the coast.

At first they didn't know the direction of the wind, and the thrown powder swirled around and stuck to their clothes, as if the dead were still reluctant to part with the living.

They are on a lonely ship in the vast ocean.

The wanton sea breeze hit their faces, the hot sun shone on their bodies, and the water droplets from the top of the cold waves splashed on their feet.

It was only at this moment that Chen Qiye started crying uncontrollably.

When he used to cry, Qin Ge always thought that Chen Qiye was so pretty, and his face covered with snot and tears was very cute, but that day Chen Qiye cried very ugly, and vomited non-stop because of seasickness, and returned to the shore Almost collapsed afterwards.Qin Ge quickly booked a room at a nearby B&B and sent Chen Qiye to lie down on the bed slowly.

Chen Qiye fell into a coma for a day and a night. After waking up, his soul still hadn't returned to his place, and he left the room aimlessly and walked towards the beach near the hotel in a daze.There are not many tourists in that place yet, and it is full of dark mudflats.When Chen Qiye was grabbed by Qin Ge who rushed over, he swayed and fell down. They were lying in the mud one after another, so dirty that they couldn't be distinguished from each other.

Sky and sea, wind and waves, mud and soil, Qin Ge and Chen Qiye.

This time it was Qin Ge who cried.He thought that Chen Qiye was going to seek death, if he came later, Chen Qiye would be gone.

Chen Qiye reached out to wipe the tears on Qin Ge's face, but he self-defeatingly smudged away the stains on his face, returning to the basics and turning into a little clay figurine fabricated by the ancient gods.

They are each other's creators, kneading the lifeless yellow clay in the palm of their hands, and then pouring love into it, molding it into a living person in front of them.

Chen Qiye didn't shed any more tears. His tears were all dried up. Instead, he was very calm and lightly told Qin Ge that he would not be so stupid.If he died like this, someone would definitely come to question Qin Ge. After all, Qin Ge was the last person to contact him.

The brain circuit of the champion in the city is really unusual. The reason why he didn't want to die was not because he didn't want to die, but because he was afraid of causing trouble and distress to Qin Ge.

"That's good." Qin Ge finally agreed with Chen Qiye, "As long as I'm still alive, you're not allowed to die."

Qin Ge and Chen Qiye lived in that seaside homestay for another half a month.

Originally, they didn't plan to stay for such a long time, but as Chen Qiye's mood improved, he began to borrow the kitchen of the homestay to cook for Qin Ge. This place far away from downtown Tanzhou was like the Wenzhong campus before the college entrance examination, becoming their new utopia and Peach Blossom Spring.

Qin Ge had the urge to get up early in the morning. At this time, his temper was the worst of the day. Chen Qiye would try to wake him up. If it didn't work, he would bring breakfast to his mouth and let him eat something before going back to sleep. .

Qin Ge likes to eat pasta.Their lunch is very simple. The main food is rice noodles, a specialty of Tanzhou, and the toppings are made from the leftover ingredients from the previous day.

In the afternoon, Qin Ge was finally in good spirits. He would go to the vegetable market with Chen Qiye, bring milk and oatmeal from the supermarket, and ride a bicycle through the avenues and alleys of this village surrounded by the sea. Carefully release your hand from the handlebar.

They often go for a walk on the man-made golden sand beach.Like observing ants in the past, they will suddenly squat down on the beach and rocks to watch swimming crabs drill holes, or small shells of various shapes, catch small fish and shrimps, and then put them back into the sea.Passing adults who bring children to play will always think that they have found some treasure so that they can concentrate so much. They often stop by their side, then leave disappointed, turn around after walking two steps, and urge their reluctant children to follow quickly.

In the evening, Chen Xiye usually cooks three dishes and one soup.The two sat facing each other, and they never deliberately served each other food, but in order to make Chen Qiye eat more, Qin Ge would try again and again to say: "I'm full, if you don't eat the rest, you'll pour it out. threw."

While Chen Qiye was cooking, Qin Ge took the initiative to wash the dishes. The way they got along was like a family.When night fell, they would watch movies in a room with a projector.Chen Qiye hadn't watched many movies before, and he would concentrate on everything Qin Ge put on, especially the "Interstellar", which he watched for several nights in a row.

When watching a movie, the two of them would nest together on the soft sofa, with Chen Qiye pillowing on Qin Ge's shoulder, and Qin Ge's head would be very comfortable even if he tilted his head.Chen Qiye's attention was all on the movie, and he asked for a while, "Does the black hole really look like this?" After a few minutes, he couldn't understand why the data could not be calculated on the earth... Qin Ge is like an encyclopedia, what did Chen Qiye ask , he could answer them all, even though most of them were made up, as long as it was what he said, Chen Qiye would believe it, and then he threw out the next physics question.

Chen Qiye's gaze was still on the screen, and Qin Ge stared at Chen Qiye's side face while talking nonsense about quantum mechanics.There is a love test that says that if you want to know if the other person is sincere, let him look at you at close range all the time. If he can't bear to stay for three seconds and doesn't come close to kiss you, then he doesn't like you that much.

Qin Ge was also staring closely at Chen Qiye at this moment. Three seconds later, not only could he not help but want to kiss, but his hands were also teasing and touching.Chen Qiye was not as resistant as before, he was much more obedient, and slowly slid down to kneel in front of the sofa.He kept his head down, and when he caught the liquid with his lips and tongue, the spacecraft and space station in the movie just docked to the sound of orchestral music.

Chen Qiye was still kneeling.He looked up at Qin Ge, licked his lips, and had already eaten what was caught in his mouth.

Qin Ge's muscles were relaxed, and he was so comfortable that he lay crookedly on the sofa. He picked Chen Qiye up from the ground, hugged him and kissed him.People are greedy, and Qin Ge gradually became dissatisfied and wanted to occupy Chen Qiye more thoroughly, so Chen Qiye pushed him away and said solemnly, "It's not been three months yet."

Chen Qiye's latest blood test result was negative, and the pep course of treatment has also ended. The probability of him not being exposed to HIV is 99.99%.But the window period of the HIV virus can last up to three months, and Chen Qiye still doesn't want to make the final move with Qin Ge.

Qin Ge's head hurts, and he feels that Chen Qiye is making too much of a fuss, but he still respects it.Chen Qiye helped Qin Ge, and Qin Ge also wanted to help Chen Qiye with his hands, but Chen Qiye held his wrist and pulled him back. He would rather have his white flesh rubbed red than be touched in front.

Qin Ge vaguely guessed that the past experiences had left Chen Xi with a stressful reaction, but Chen Xiye was normal at other times, and gradually had a smile on his face, and he would also communicate with other tenants in the homestay.On the last night of the homestay, the two did not watch a movie as usual, but watched the stars on the roof of the homestay.The wet and salty sea breeze blows on them, and the sand and waves are not far away.They lie crookedly on the flat roof, doing nothing, not talking, just wasting time.

And as long as the people around you are always with you, the wasted time will have meaning.

After an unknown amount of time, Qin Ge smiled, the kind that laughed out loud.Chen Qiye looked at him sideways and asked, "What are you laughing at?"

"It's nothing." Qin Ge didn't respond to Chen Xiye's gaze, and said with emotion, "I just think that we both have experienced so much, how can we still quarrel with elementary school students, it's really naive."

What Qin Ge was talking about was the previous dispute in the bathroom of the cram school.Life and death did not separate them, but some small things could make them cold war for so many days.

"Then we won't quarrel in the future." Chen Qiye took the initiative to hook Qin Ge's little finger.

Qin Ge asked: "But what if there is another quarrel?"

Chen Qiye said, "Then I apologize to you first."

"That's what you said." Qin Ge was happy.Although Chen Xiye was the one who confessed first, it was Qin Ge who chased him back after the last breakup, and it was also Qin Ge who called Chen Qiye to end the cold war.If Chen Qiye didn't take the initiative to promise, Qin Ge would definitely cry and say that he felt very uncomfortable, and he always took the initiative. If Chen Qiye didn't come to coax him first, he would not like him as much as before.

Qin Ge skipped the step of turning into a spirit, and continued to sigh: "Our youth can write a book."

"Looking up at the starry sky at a 90-degree angle, the bright and sad one?" Chen Qiye smiled and urged Qin Ge to write it himself.Qin Ge is not talented, and his Chinese in the college entrance examination only has two digits, so he can only talk about it.He was afraid that the atmosphere would be destroyed, so he didn't mention specific people or events, but only assumed that the two people's experience was really written into a story. If the two of them didn't have a lover at the end of the story, how many readers would stop believing love.

Qin Ge was finally about to conclude.The edge of the red silk on his right wrist was rough, and he still didn't take it off. He interlocked the fingers of Chen Xiye's left hand wearing a g-shock, and said earnestly: "If we don't make it to the end, it's too unreasonable."

Chen Qiye simply lay on his side, raised his hand and pressed the back of Qin Ge's hand to his cheek: "Unless you don't like me anymore, I won't break up with you first."

Chen Xiye's face was solemn, and the sea breeze blew the broken hair on his forehead, but he didn't blink a few times.Qin Ge smiled contentedly, and said after a while, "Why didn't you ask for a divorce first?"

Chen Qiye was taken aback for a moment.He was obviously very serious, but Qin Ge wanted to make a joke at this moment.Chen Qiye was not as obstinate as the other party, he couldn't speak and could only use his hands, breaking away his hand and beating Qin Ge's chest.Qin Ge quickly got up from the ground to escape, and went around the clothes rack on the roof and out again.Chen Qiye couldn't catch up no matter what, so he accused Qin Ge of being "boring" and "childish" in frustration, and when Qin Ge slackened and walked towards him, he rushed over to catch him with a sigh of relief.

Then Qin Ge opened his hands and five fingers to form claws.Chen Qiye saw that he was about to retaliate and fight back, so he ran over again with a smile...

Under the twilight starry sky, by the beach where the waves beat, the two teenagers chased each other on the roof of the square homestay. They were so energetic that they seemed to have returned to the attic of their childhood villas, holding each other tightly.