broken dust

should stop the source

I found out my dad cheated on me when I was 15.

It was a summer, when the students were on summer vacation.He is usually very busy and forgot to introduce him. He has been the captain of the urban criminal investigation team since I was ten years old.

Yes, my father is a people's policeman.

During the summer vacation that year, my grandmother fell ill and was hospitalized, and my mother had to go to the hospital to take care of her. She was often away from home during the day and night.

One night, I heard what seemed to be scattered voices outside the room.I took advantage of the night to go to the bathroom, quietly turned around the living room, and finally found the source of the sound.

The voice came from my father's bedroom.

There is no second person in his bedroom, nor is he talking to himself, he is calling someone.

I didn't pay attention at the time, and I didn't go over to listen to what they had to say.It's so unusual for my father to make a phone call when he's busy at work, I thought at the time.

Then I noticed a strange thing. He seemed to be calling someone every night when my mother was not at home.

Once I finally couldn't bear it any longer, and walked barefoot to his door with my shoes on and eavesdropped on him against the door.

It’s not that I have good ears, it may be because of my father’s occupation. He has always had a loud voice, especially when chatting with someone, he seems to be very close to each other, and his voice is mixed with hearty laughter.

The other person appeared to be a woman.I'm sure it wasn't my mother.

The reason why I say this is because in my impression, my father has never chatted with my mother so easily and for such a long time.

What my father and mother talked about the most was firewood, rice, oil and salt.

My mother is very beautiful, some people say that luckily I inherited my mother's appearance.She hasn't read any books, and she doesn't know many great principles, many trendy words, and novel viewpoints.She is an extremely traditional woman who cooks well, does needlework well, and has a kind heart, but one thing is that she is uneducated.

She grew up in the countryside, and was met by my grandfather on a blind date arranged by my father when he returned to his hometown.And my father is a graduate of the police academy, his academic performance is very good, and he knows a lot of things.

My mother married my father because of family arrangements and admiration of my father's "talent", while my father married my mother purely because of her beauty.

After getting along for a long time, their personalities are actually not suitable.I can hear some quarrels from time to time, I think it is too noisy, I need to be quiet, and I become more and more reticent.

So I didn't tell my mother about it.

You must ask, how can you judge that your father cheated on this alone?

Actually, I don't know, but when I heard him chatting with the woman on the other end of the phone, the first reaction in my mind was that my father might cheat.

It turns out that I was right. On the afternoon of the second day of school in September, my classmate accidentally received my schoolbag and took me home because I had to prepare the manuscript of the freshman representative’s speech (enrollment in the first year of high school), and I had to go to his house to get the manuscript after school. .On the way back I passed a coffee shop and I saw him and the woman sitting in the corner kissing.

As soon as I saw her, I knew she must be the woman who talked to my father late into the night.

To be honest, she is not as good-looking as my mother, with a round face, small features, and a big nose.

But overall, her temperament is really good. Looking at her fine clothing matching and the style of necklace and earrings she chooses, I can feel that she should be the kind of gentle, knowledgeable, and well-off woman.

After their lingering kiss, they reluctantly said goodbye at the door of the coffee shop.Hiding behind a street lamp not far away, I felt a chill on my back and sweat on my hands.

Although I had a hunch in advance and gave myself a "vaccination", seeing this scene with my own eyes still broke me down. When I sorted out my thoughts, I realized that I was already in tears.

I seldom cry. My father taught me when I was a child that boys should not cry, especially the sons of the people's policemen.

When I was a child, I didn’t even cry when I was beaten by the teacher in public for failing to finish my homework, but now I cry.

When I got home, I pretended nothing happened, and I still didn't tell my mother about it.

Later, I suffered from severe depression, starting from the second year of high school.

No one knew, including my parents.

My mother didn't know the existence of this disease at all. We haven't communicated for a long time. I don't know when she couldn't understand what I was thinking.And my father, he is too busy, busy with work, busy with love.

I didn't know I had depression at the time.

I just know that I am more out of gregarious than before, I don't like crowded places, I don't like to talk to people, I work hard like a learning machine during the day, once at night, I will be inexplicably sad, inexplicably shed tears, high school For three years, I seemed to secretly cry a lot and sleep very little.My nerves seem to be always tense. Sometimes I will be out of breath with anxiety, feel chest pain, and even suspect that I have a heart attack.

In order not to let my homework fall behind, I seem to study very hard.

At that time, the most thought in my mind was that I really hope that I have cancer, and there is only one month left.

This way I can run away from home without any worries, and then travel around the world and die outside.

I've always known that I might not be "normal," but it wasn't until I was in college that I realized it was depression.

When I graduated from high school, on the day of my high school graduation ceremony, my parents finally divorced.It turned out that my mother knew about my father's cheating a long time ago, and she was only saving the marriage in my name—for the sake of the children.In fact, their marriage has long existed in name only.

They don't know that when I found out my father was cheating on me, I really wanted them to divorce.Under the banner of "for me", they are doing things that hurt me. I wish they could get a divorce.

I finally went to university, and finally I can be completely alone.

My mother took me alone, and it seemed to be quite difficult financially. At this time, her friend, a professor of drama and literature in our school, was willing to pay for me to finish college.

The sad news of my mother was also conveyed to me by her.

When I was a sophomore, she told me that my mother was in a car accident. When I saw my mother, she was an unrecognizable corpse covered with a white cloth.

The only thing my mother left me was this old gold watch on my wrist.

I always carry this gold watch in memory of my mother,

However, the development of things is not so simple.

Life took a big turn for me.

When I was a graduate student, the school had a place to be a one-year exchange student in a certain school in the UK. I was very confident and got this place, and there was another girl named Song Yi who was with me from another major.

Since it is a foreign country, Song Yi and I are fairly close.Our majors are different, because of some trivial matters, she was originally scheduled to return to China four or five days later than me, so I bought a plane ticket and prepared to leave early.

But I didn't expect that when the plane landed, she would also appear at the airport in China.

She was also surprised when she saw me: "I asked someone to do things for me. I couldn't catch up with your flight. I bought the next one, but I didn't expect to meet you here."

I said my plane was delayed, I didn't expect such a coincidence.

She said she called her parents to pick her up, I said it's okay, I went straight back to school.

I can't tell her I don't have a father and my mother is gone.

Something even more coincidental happened.

Among the people who came to pick her up, I saw someone who looked exactly like my dead mother,

She said to me: "Let me introduce, this is my mother, this is my father."

The "mother" she pointed to looked exactly like my mother.

You can't understand what kind of mood I was at that time. The cells in the whole body seemed to be revolutionizing, every blood vessel seemed to explode, and my heart seemed to burst out of the chest cavity. I needed to calm down.

"Sorry, I left earlier." I fled the scene.

Then I didn't go to school for three days and went to see Professor Song, who was the one who told my mother the bad news.

She disappeared behind closed doors. In the end, I used all the money I earned from part-time jobs abroad to hire a private detective (I wrote an IOU for 1 yuan and promised to pay it back within a year), and the matter finally came to light.

It wasn't my father who cheated first, it was my mother.

As I said earlier, my father is a people's policeman, he is busy with work and is often away from home.My mother is a traditional housewife.

She and Song Yi's father met at a little sister's party. At that time, the place where they met was the teahouse invested by Song Yi's father. Song Yi's father was not the owner of the teahouse but one of the investors.Song Yi's father runs a factory at home, and the spare money on hand is used for various investments.That day was the end of June, and Song Yi's father took time to go to the teahouse to check with the boss on the accounts for the first half of the year.

He has always been hands-on with his investments.

My mother met him that day.My mother was the prettiest of the group of little sisters.

The 34-year-old has the youthful beauty of the 25-year-old.

Soon-yi's father started a new investment - my mother.

At first my mother was just being polite to him, and sometimes she would just politely say "Hello, Mr. Song" when she accidentally bumped into him outside, and then there was no further text.But for three consecutive months, the number of such "unintentional encounters" has increased.Whether my mother went out to buy vegetables, drink tea, or take a walk, she could always see him "unintentionally".

Then my mother can always buy discounted dishes, drink free tea, receive beautiful bouquets, and even eat in various western restaurants that I have never seen before.

She has always been curious about novel things.Gradually, Song Yi's father became her friend.

Some people say that companionship is the most affectionate confession.

Song Yi's father accompanied her unconditionally for a whole year, investing not only money but also time.

That's how they were together.

He knew my mother was married and he didn't care a bit.Because he divorced his ex-wife a long time ago, and his lovely daughter also wants him to remarry, so he doesn't have any pressure.

He put all the pressure on my mother, and my mother was happy and miserable all day long.

He was her joy, I was her pain.

I was her burden that she could not file a divorce with my father at will.

I became a burden to both of them.

My father didn't know about my mother's affair because he spent all his time working and being in love.

When I finally waited until I was an adult, the two of them couldn't wait to divorce.

Nobody wants me.

The woman next to my father said that if he brought the baby over, their relationship would be over immediately.

My mother doesn't want to take me with her, she prefers to live in a world of two.Song Yi's father also promised her that as long as he agreed to his marriage proposal, he could immediately separate the family and take her around the world to live the world of two people.And when I get married, I can also get a real estate.

My father and mother were arguing because of me. My mother took advantage of his cheating and went to his company to make trouble, but without knowing it, I chose to follow my mother.

Six months later, Professor Song, who sponsored me to go to college, brought me the sad news of my mother.

Now you should know that she didn't die, she asked Song Yi's father to help her to forge everything about the whole car accident.Professor Song is Song Yi's father's sister.

From that time-consuming gold watch, I should have thought that things should not be so simple.

How could the father of a police officer whose salary still makes a living and the mother who grew up working in the countryside afford such an expensive watch.

It was just a gift of compensation from my mother because she felt guilty about my deception.

After seeing through all this, I didn't take any next steps.

She made all this painstakingly and I can't destroy her.

I pretended to be okay and continued to go to school. Anyway, I was leaving school in one year and going to work.

People around me said that I became "weird".

This "strangeness" is compared to my previous withdrawn character.

I started to go crazy, clubbing, and participating in various receptions. My personality became very cheerful and I was not afraid of strangers.I don't know if my illness is cured, I only know that I often get myself drunk in the dead of night, and I often have the idea that I have cancer when I was a child.

"A doctor cannot heal himself", I still can't see myself clearly.

Professor Song has a daughter named Qiao Qiao, a young actor studying acting at the Drama Academy.

She is a very sunny and cheerful person. She doesn't know what kind of fetters there are between her mother and my family's affairs, and I never told her.I don't want her to live in the shadows like I do.

She is truly an angel with a very kind heart.

When I feel a little "decadent", she will take me to see art exhibitions, stage performances, and all kinds of novel and interesting things.When I am on vacation, I will accompany me on a trip. We also have a common secret - the flower of the sun.

Sunflower is the name of a children's welfare home, and we will donate materials to the welfare home from time to time.

70.00% of my work income is donated to this orphanage.

At first my salary was not high, but in recent years I have done well in the hospital, so my salary has increased.

Only when I donate can I feel the "sunshine".

Joe Bridge is also my sunshine.

Even though I know she may not feel the same way about me as I do about her.

I have a love-hate relationship with her, and because of her mother, I seldom put on a good-natured face towards her.But she never disliked her. I hated her in my mouth and ignored her in my behavior, but I still cherish her in my heart, although it is not the kind of love and cherish she has for my boyfriend and girlfriend.

Knowing that the moment Qiao Qiao died, I felt as if the sun in the sky had disappeared.I can't bear the loss of such a kind, lovely and cheerful friend.

I have been living in regret and self-blame.

If I hadn't ignored her that night, maybe she wouldn't have died.

If I had knocked on the door that day, if I had gone to her house earlier, she might not have been murdered.

What's the use of talking about it now, it's useless.

Although I no longer trust the police, I cannot deny that the police have contributed the most to Qiao Qiao's case.

When I thought I could solve the case and fell into the hands of a murderer, it was the police who saved me.

Well, I have to admit, there are good ones in the police too.

For example, Yu Ge.

Maybe because of the family, maybe because of the woman my father cheated on, maybe because of what my mother did, in short, I don't seem to have a good impression of women.

The story of Yu Ge and I will be told for a long time, and this will be told to you one by one in another space.

By the way, I forgot to tell you that Song Yi later became a writer. Her pen name was Bai Qinghe, and her last short story before her death was called "Confessions of a Murderer".

(Finish)

The author says:

1. The next story of the "Broken Dust" series starts with the investigation of the cause of Bai Qinghe's death, and the next stories of Yu Ge and Ying Zhiyuan will be unfolded here as the main and secondary stories.

2. Thank you for your patience. I have never written this kind of style and subject matter, and this kind of long story. I just heard a colleague say that the window of her house was broken on the way to work, and joked that there was a voyeur~ Then I popped up in my mind. A murder scene, there is a camera in the opposite building, and then it is about lies, which were not recorded at all, blackmail and other keywords.Later, on the day of Qixi Festival this year, I wrote a [-]-word story outline when I was bored, but I was always busy, so I didn't start writing. After half a month, I started writing when I was free.

It's actually really badly written.The skill of character image description is still far behind, and the latter is a bit rushed. For the case part, I just wrote down the idea in a straightforward way. There is no design or skill. In fact, if you think about it more, it will be better and more complete. , it will be longer.And the writing style is also a bit mixed~ Because I was bored at home during the holidays and read other novels, all of which were romance novels of the Republic of China, so it was weird to write things unconsciously... (囧)

But it doesn't matter, this is just a practice and try, I believe I will continue to learn and improve slowly, let's work hard together!

Finally, thank you ~ thank you for your tolerance ~