sad li bai

After An Ling got in the car, he sent a message to Xu Ning. He left simply, and it's not like he won't come back.Before and after special students, they had to leave school to take special examinations in various places.He mentioned it to Xu Ning before, but it was much earlier than he expected.All kinds of special students from the same school and their teachers were in the school-packed car.Yan Shu was sitting next to him. Their school team won No.1 in this year's provincial competition. Their professional quality has actually been recognized by some schools, but everyone wants to be safe and fight for a better future for themselves. As a way out, I want to try my favorite school again.

The people in the car were noisy, especially those big fools. I thought they were whispering about the beautiful girls in front of the car who were going to apply for the broadcasting performance class, but in fact, they could be heard in the whole car Hearing their words become more and more vulgar, An Ling finally couldn't help but slammed the mineral water bottle in his hand on the heads of those people, seeing them suddenly stand up and curse,

"Which bastard threw it?" Then he said.

"Shut your mouth, the whole car will hear what the hell you're doing, and if you embarrass the basketball team, I'll throw you out the window."

The tall boy scratched his head in embarrassment when he saw An Ling coming out to recognize him, and peeked out the corners of his eyes at the beautiful girls in the front row, seeing them covering their mouths and giggling, he kept glancing at him and An Ling out of the corners of his eyes, Even more embarrassed to sit down.

Yan Shu smiled and looked at An Ling who was looking out of the window with his mobile phone, and raised his brows, feeling that An Ling was really different.He was the happiest in the past.

"Why did you tell Xu Ning when you left, he was so clingy to you, you don't know when you will come back after leaving, did you make it clear to him?"

An Ling frowned even more when he heard that, when he left, he didn't say hello to Xu Ning, he left for two or three months, and it wasn't like he wouldn't come back, but he just didn't dare to tell Xu Ning face to face, for some reason.

"I sent him a text message saying I was leaving the train station today, the train was at 04:30 in the afternoon, and I didn't tell him when I would be back."

"Did he text back?"

"I'm back, wish me good news." An Ling couldn't help but unlocked the phone again. Xu Ning didn't say anything on the text message interface, as if he didn't mind not saying hello in advance. Time to send a text message to inform the other party.Polite and reserved, like an official statement of friendship between two countries.

Got it, safe travels, I hope you have good news.

Yan Shu looked at the anxiety in An Ling's eyes. He seemed to have never seen An Ling thinking about someone so hard. He seemed to unconsciously hope that Xu Ning could rely on him, act like a baby, and show his true face that no one else had ever seen.But he always accidentally hides his obvious temptation, as if he doesn't admit that he already cares about the other party, so there is something different.

In order to ensure the boarding time of most of the students, the school moved up the time to arrive at the train station. When An Ling arrived at the station, it was only two o'clock or almost three o'clock, and there was still more than an hour before his own train. Shu sat on the seat in the waiting room, silent to each other.He lowered his head and looked at his phone, hesitating whether to reply to Xu Ning's text message, then he heard a few people over there who went to different schools a little later said that they were going to eat, mainly the boys from the school team, smiling brightly He was courting those beautiful art students who didn't know whether they were majoring in art or acting.Li Zi was hit by An Ling with a mineral water bottle on the boy in the car, walked to Yan Shu and An Ling, and told them to go together, there were four women and two men, and they just happened to be there.

Yan Shu still thought that An Ling's mood might not be able to go, so it's fine to refuse.I saw An Ling standing up suddenly, throwing the phone into the schoolbag, showing a casual smile that he always wore on weekdays, and walking away with Li Zi's shoulders crossed. After walking a few steps, he looked back at him and asked him, "Why don't you go?"

Yan Shu swallowed back what she wanted to say, walked slowly, followed behind the large army, looked at the girls who were smiling shyly, and leaned close to An Ling intentionally or unintentionally, but An Ling was hiding something in his eyes. Impatient, but still coping with it with a smile.In a daze, he didn't know what it was like, he watched them pass through the security gate and walked up to the elevator on the second floor, he suddenly noticed a familiar figure in the corner of his eyes, he suddenly turned his head and looked at Xu Ning outside the security gate.

He was wearing a dark blue jacket on a bitterly windy late autumn afternoon.His breathing was unsteady, he gasped heavily while holding his knees, and when he raised his head, he could see his sweaty bangs. He seemed to see An Ling, who was walking past with someone else smiling, shoulder to shoulder, and a beautiful girl in brightly colored clothes with a slim figure beside him, with a pale complexion. .

It's like a child who realizes that he has done something wrong impulsively, and before he is discovered and criticized, he is already afraid and wants to shrink back and not be found by others.When he turned his head and saw Yan Shu who found him, his eyes became more flustered, but there was still a plea that Yan Shu could understand in the eyes that came over immediately, and he said don't call, please, don't call him .Xu Ning, who is so noble and arrogant, was full of anxiety and anxiety. He was afraid that An Ling would find him coming and get angry. He didn't even dare to blame An Ling for telling him before leaving. Go forward and say goodbye to An Ling.Yan Shu looked at Xu Ning who was still forced to smile with him, greeted him and turned to leave, feeling distressed.He fell in love with someone, fell in love first, was caught, that's it, felt that he was inferior, always careful, for fear that others would get bored, bored, and give up, holding on to what he had at this stage The best appearance, the best distance, not too close, let alone too far.

Xu Ning ignored the class after receiving the text message, asked for leave and left the classroom, ran out of the campus and took a taxi to chase after him, thinking about how to tell An Ling all the way, saying that he still wanted to see An Ling before leaving, he must be obedient Yes, wait patiently for him to come back, and tell him that even if you miss him, you will never make trouble with him, and you will never delay his exam.

After he got off the train, he walked around in the huge train station for an untold amount of time, feeling extremely anxious, like a fish on fire, wishing to burn up the air around him in order to breathe.After finally seeing An Ling's figure vaguely at the security checkpoint, he rushed over, trying to call out An Ling's name, but found that his throat was blocked by An Ling's smile, and he couldn't utter a sound. Only then did he realize that he seemed to be the only one who was worried about the two or three months of the upcoming separation, while the other person might not care about the separation at all, and even looked forward to it, looking forward to the next day full of bright and lovely girls.

He stood up, trying to restrain his urge to gasp for breath, in his eyes was the sadness and sadness that he hadn't noticed and couldn't hide, he was obviously at a loss, but he still wanted to face the severe situation in his usual way Shu, he waved his hand, showed a very strange smile to Yan Shu, and said softly, you have a safe journey, pay attention to safety, and get a good grade in the exam.The voice was so soft that I couldn't hear it clearly, so I turned around and left this place with footsteps that were much more chaotic than usual.For the first time, he regretted being so impulsive and embarrassing himself so much.He was surrounded by noisy people in the corridor, but his world seemed to suddenly quiet down, a dead silence.

Yan Shu looked at Xu Ning, who was rushing here full of anticipation and joy, his injured back straightened his shoulders and left here, and heard An Ling calling him on the stairs, "What are you doing, hurry up." At first, he felt that the idea of ​​An Ling picking up a baby was really difficult for Xu Ning, but later he thought that An Ling would hurt Xu Ning was so correct, and the correct ones couldn't be more correct, so that he was a science student, sports Life will suddenly be full of emotions in the windy autumn, and there is a hypocritical emotion that hurts the spring and the autumn.

Until he and An Ling got on the train, Yan Shu didn't think about whether to tell An Ling that Xu Ning had come. He lay on the upper bed of the sleeper car, and looked down at An Ling's half face illuminated by the phone screen. , is also unhappy, next to them are teammates who have already fallen asleep, that should be the normal way for sports students to open up, go to bed when they are full, play when it is time to play, and fight when it is time to fight , without so many fragmented and bad emotions.He got off the bed suddenly, patted An Ling's thigh, told him to sit up, and sat beside him.

"Want to send a message to Xu Ning?" Yan Shu glanced at Anling's mobile phone interface, it was still Xu Ning's short message, just like Xu Ning's people, the appearance is aloof and inaccessible, so you can always feel To the boundary he unconsciously draws with you.

"Yan Shu, Xu Ning's current grades, the best school and the worst school, do you know what it is?"

"Xu Ning didn't take the exam before, so I don't know how the result is? I don't know too well, but I guess it's not bad." Yan Shu turned her head and looked at An Ling's expressionless face in the carriage, "What are you worried about?" , Did he do well in the exam or not?"

"His set of papers was written next to me. Four sets of papers, 750 points, more than three hours. After that, I asked his classmates, and the teacher dialed 677." An Ling regretted that he didn't tell Xu Ning face to face Knowing that he came out to take the exam, Xu Ning didn't take these messy exams, and he probably didn't know the admissions of special students, so he might be more panicked than himself.But as soon as An Ling saw Xu Ning's pure and noble face, he thought that he couldn't be wronged in the future. If he didn't do well in studies, he could do better in sports. But there are so many sports students, he didn't dare to guarantee that he would pass the exam. He couldn't say how much he wanted to continue studying with Xu Ning in the physical education school that was close to Xu Ning's school, and to be with Xu Ning without dragging Xu Ning down.I can only avoid this matter and keep silent.But he didn't know that this kind of dodging made people feel bottomless, like a big hole had leaked, and the icy cold wind was blowing into his heart.

Yan Shu suddenly didn't know what to say. He thought that An Ling was bored and avoided Xu Ning, but he was worried because he wanted to spend more time with Xu Ning. There is no problem with all the heavy books." Yan Shu and the others have already obtained the special admission notice from the best school in the province. The candidates in this province basically have no problem with cultural subjects, but for Xu Ning, the school in the province is not a problem. It will probably be E's voluntary, bet choice, and most likely it will not be of any use.

An Ling turned the phone unconsciously. He suddenly remembered that when his father knew about his puppy love and fixed him, he said that he didn't know what falling in love was. What a fart, a child with a big fart doesn't know what love is. He didn't take it seriously at the time, but Now, after meeting Xu Ning, he suddenly understands that this relationship is different from the previous one.He began to think about the future, he suddenly seemed to know what love is, not only the lingering enthusiasm and nostalgia when getting along, but also the uneasy expectations about the future, and the sudden weight of responsibility. All the best things are brought to the person in front of him, and he doesn't want him to suffer the slightest grievance from the bottom of his heart.

Sometimes Xu Ning would suddenly forget what happened the day An Ling left. He left the train station lonely, stood outside in a daze, when a gust of wind blew over, because the rush of breath he had been holding back to run over was blown away by the wind, and he began to feel uneasy. He kept coughing, coughing like he was dying.

After An Ling left, he would send him two or three messages every day, telling him which school he went to today, what he ate, and what time he went to bed to say good night.Sometimes I will call him, but I am no longer as frivolous as before, I will not say something on the phone to teach Xu Ning to blush, and I will not tempt Xu Ning to say whether I like him or not, I only care about Xu Ning life and study, and occasionally ask Xu Ning's parents.Xu Ning had a feeling that An Ling seemed to have suddenly become very sensible and indifferent because he went to another place, and became more mature. Just like Xu Ning imagined before, the branches opened overnight and became Steady and reliable, become a high-quality man full of masculinity.

But for Xu Ning, this is not good news for him, because when An Ling became so attractive, they were separating the two places, he was not by his side, and he did not witness because of someone or something. An Ling was willing to shed that naughty and playful shell, and began to think about her future life.

As if overnight, the leaves turned from green to yellow and then withered.The tall green trees on the road only have clean and straight trunks, like a tall man who is independent and helpless, the distance between him and his companions is just right, we can only look at each other, and we cannot expect the other party to provide excessive help. Because the other party is also in the same situation.On rainy nights in late autumn and early winter, I can only stand alone in a cyan raincoat that has faded and turned white, and I can’t give passers-by a little shelter from the wind and rain, after all, they have nothing else to do. rely on.

When waking up in the morning, Xu Ning was rarely obsessed with the warmth of the bed. The air outside the bed seemed to be so cold that his exposed skin was about to frost. He shrank himself into a long and thin snake, listening to Fang Hua's washing The sound was played by Fang Hua over and over again, and it was not until Fang Hua finished washing that she slowly got up and walked to the bathroom.

Fang Hua was packing his schoolbag by the desk. He put the papers he was going to use today into the schoolbag. He looked back at Xu Ning who was still washing in the bathroom. He felt that Xu Ning seemed to be a little different these days, and it was not obvious but It can still be seen that although he used to look unapproachable, he is still a very gentle person in private, and completes his own affairs step by step, but recently he seems to have become more deserted, his eyes are more deadly, and his people are getting more and more serious. lazy.Like a cold-blooded animal about to go into hibernation, like a snake or something.

"Xu Ning, are you going to hibernate to save energy recently?" He asked with a smile, but the longer the time without reply, the more awkward the atmosphere seemed.

He picked up his schoolbag, and when passing by the washroom, he saw Xu Ning staring at himself in the mirror with a toothbrush in a daze, paused, and said, "I'm going first, don't be late." before leaving room.

Xu Ning took a sip of water from the faucet and washed away the foam from the toothpaste in his mouth.The cold water didn't seem to arouse him too much emotion. He felt that he had really turned into a cold-blooded animal that Fang Hua said was about to enter hibernation.The walking dead, lifeless.His life didn't have much ups and downs, but he seemed to have drawn out his few strong emotions and used up the absurd behaviors he had accumulated in the past 20 years, so he was left with a numb man who didn't know how to ask for help. An empty shell of what to do, not too sad, nor too looking forward to, after all the emotions are exhausted, there is nothing.

During class, Xu Ning was lying on the table, looking sideways at the gray-blue sky outside the window.The sky in this season seems to be very low, very close to people.It makes people hold their breath unconsciously, for fear of disturbing some unknown creatures hidden in the thick layer.

"Xu Ning, someone is looking for you."

When Xu Ning came out, she looked at Yan Ying, who was tightly wrapped up at the door, and she could see a pink face with a little baby fat all over her body. She was wearing a long white down jacket, wrapped up above her knees, and she was wearing a sweater inside. hat with two drooping bunny ears.As soon as Xu Ning came out, there was light in his eyes.Like a fertile rabbit.

"Xu Ning, I want to ask you for a favor, I can only find you." Yan Ying wanted to grab Xu Ning's clothes with both hands, but she was afraid that Xu Ning would get angry, so a pair of thin white hands fell into the air, poor Xixi.After borrowing Xu Ning's clothes last time, she returned them.After going back and forth, the two of them are considered to be acquainted, and occasionally meet and chat.Now Yan Ying really can't find anyone else, only Xu Ning is willing to help her, can she have a chance.

"What are you busy with?"

"I heard that you and Fang Hua are in the same dormitory, can you help me ask him if I can study with his group in the next class, I will definitely not hold them back." Yan Ying's eyes were red Yes, she really doesn't know what to do. After the teaching reform, the school changed the teaching method, and the students set up groups to study independently instead of the teachers. The original purpose was to improve the students' autonomy and make it easier for the students to check for gaps and fill in the gaps by themselves, but Yan Ying The situation in the class is that after the special students left, there were not many people left, and the rest of them were not focused on studying at all. She really had no choice but to come to Xu Ning to try it out. Their class is originally a special class, and the teacher usually attends classes. They will not be as serious and meticulous as the key classes. After the teaching reform, the teachers of their study groups will let them learn by themselves.

"I can only ask for you, I'm not sure what the outcome will be." Xu Ning looked at Yan Ying who was about to cry, a little at a loss, he had a good impression of Yan Ying, this girl is optimistic, motivated, hearty and generous Every time I see him, I greet him warmly. If possible, he would also like to help her, but Fang Hua's class is the sharp knife class established for the first time in the school this year. It almost occupies the best resources in the school. The 20 people are almost the best students in the entire school in the third grade group. Xu Ning has no confidence at all whether they are willing to take Yan Ying with them.

"It's okay, thank you very much if you are willing to help me."

Yan Ying lowered her head and sobbed, with a strong nasal sound. She sniffed, raised her head and smiled at Xu Ning, but Xu Ning felt a little distressed by the way she didn't want to embarrass others.He was a little dazed. During this period of time, he didn't have much interest in studying. The curriculum reform had little to do with him.But Yan Ying was so worried that he suddenly remembered that in the third year of high school, not everyone would be like him and still be full of thoughts on others.

"I'll try my best to help you." When Xu Ning's clear voice reached Yan Ying's ears, she raised her head suddenly and was caught off guard. Saying this, she wiped away her tears at once, grabbed Xu Ning's wrist, looked down at Xu Ning intently with bright eyes,

"I will definitely study hard."

Xu Ning was startled by her sudden movement, but seeing that she was not as depressed and sad as when she came, and didn't want to disappoint her, he didn't pull away his hand, but looked at Yan Ying's shining eyes again, revealing A faint smile.

"Um"

An Ling sat on the simple single bed in the hotel. Outside the window was a gray mist that covered all sightlines below the height of the third floor. It was so gray that he couldn't tell which floor he was on, whether he was too close or too far from the ground.

Like Xu Ning's heart.An Ling looked at the photos sent by her classmates, the light blue and whitish sky of the northern town and the three smiling faces.Xu Ning, Fang Hua, and Yan Ying from his class, Fang Hua is handsome and elegant, Yan Ying is lively and playful, and Xu Ning is exquisite and gorgeous.No matter how you look at it, it's eye-catching, no matter how you look at it, it's uncomfortable.

An Ling himself didn't have any big pursuits. He could accept the invitation from the provincial school like Chen Yu, or he could accept whatever he got in the exam like Yan Shu. Anyway, his future life would not change much.

But he was not reconciled, he wanted to be with Xu Ning, he didn't want to break up after graduation, and he didn't want to be separated because of the lengthening distance, that's why he came to this capital city of a big northerly province that was more than ten degrees colder than home, the most important city in the country. Famous universities are all here. Even if he doesn't study, he knows that the goal of all good students is in this city. Before he had an easier choice, he chose a very difficult path, but because of Xu Ning, He is willing to work hard and struggle among a group of outstanding people.I just want to be in the same city with Xu Ning in the future, and be closer.Obviously they came here with the idea of ​​getting closer, but they seemed to be on the wrong road. They didn't call, they didn't talk about missing each other, as if they didn't miss each other, but obviously what they missed was going crazy, and their minds were full It's always that person, and I miss him every time I have time.On the day he left, he hadn't figured out how to tell Xu Ning. He didn't dare to tell Xu Ning. If he didn't pass the exam, the disappointment after giving hope would be worse than having no hope at the beginning, but it doesn't mean he doesn't want Xu Ning He always felt that he wanted to give Xu Ning the best, and he didn't want him to be wronged or sad.But when he left Xu Ning, one week, two weeks, more than a month later, he realized that he wanted Xu Ning to care about him and take the initiative to express his miss, instead of just texting him and not calling him As soon as he made a phone call, he ran around during the day to complete the formalities, and whenever he was free, he would take out his mobile phone and send him text messages.When he was free, he wanted to make a call in the middle of the night. At such a late hour, he couldn't call at all, and it would delay Xu Ning's rest.He could only toss and turn on the bed, unable to sleep, thinking about Xu Ning.

In the photo, Xu Ning's smile is warm and comfortable, as if there is nothing unhappy, he feels sore in his heart, he can't help but wonder if Xu Ning doesn't like him anymore, he's worried, he can't wait to go back to Xu Ning's side right away.He hasn't felt this way for several years, thinking about someone so deeply, thinking of his nose sore, and his eyes moist.When he was working hard for their future, Xu Ning was not around. He wanted Xu Ning to know how much he liked him, but he was afraid that he would not cherish him if he knew that he liked him too much. Like him before, he felt hard work. But it wasn't because he was in a cold city far away from his hometown, but because Xu Ning was not by his side.

The heating was turned on in the hotel room, the air was dry, and the sky outside was gray. He finished his exams in the university and ran across the red plastic playground. His throat seemed to be stuck with a ball of dirty cotton, and he couldn't hold it down. He couldn't take it out, blocked his throat, itched and couldn't be scratched, it was on fire, and he couldn't cough it out, which made him feel suffocated, but the saddest thing was that he felt that Xu Ning's heart was hidden in this ashes. Behind the misty sky, he knew that Xu Ning liked him, but as if the smog would definitely disappear, how long would Xu Ning's liking last, after he knew so clearly that he liked Xu Ning so much.

An Ling threw the phone on the bed, and he hung his head on the side of the bed, allowing the blood in his body to pour back into his brain, and closed his eyes.He knew that he could only move forward at this time, to get rid of this layer of haze, because he could no longer see the way back, just like after he wasted so much emotion, he finally realized that his love was so precious, and he could only love one person , this person can only be Xu Ning.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and he hopes to have a good result in tomorrow's test. The enrollment target of T University is only about a dozen or so, and he must perform well to have hope.

When the score of the same pattern came down, Xu Ning sat on the chair and looked at his paper. The score was the same as he expected, and it was lower than before. In the past six months, his thoughts were focused on An Ling. According to the normal papers, it is normal to improve and the grades to drop. The teacher may be afraid that it will affect his mood, and he comforted him that this is normal. It is ok if the ranking does not drop. Don’t be too nervous and relax on New Year’s Day.

When he came out of the office, the phone was vibrating in his pants. He walked to the corner of the stairs, took it out and saw that it was An Ling's call, he couldn't help shaking his hands, and quickly pressed answer. He couldn't help holding his breath, took He reached his ear, opened his mouth in a low voice, and said something.

"An Ling, I miss you." Xu Ning really missed An Ling, but he didn't dare to take the initiative to call An Ling. He checked the examination process for special students on the Internet, and it was extremely hard and troublesome. He had to train during the day Maintain your fitness.Usually An Ling sent one and he replied one.

"Fart, just lie to me, I see you and Fang Hua, Yan Ying are having a great time, you can do without me."

"No, I can't do it without you." Xu Ning interrupted An Ling, and he raised his voice a little nervously, but it was very pleasant to An Ling's ears, not sharp at all, but rather cool, like a smell The spring water slid down his throat, making his recently uncomfortable throat a lot more comfortable.

"Ning Ning, be safe and happy." An Ling's voice suddenly became serious, and the low bass was hoarse, as if he was speaking in Xu Ning's ear, making Xu Ning's face flush.

"I'm going to the T test today, Xu Ning." I want your support, I want to know your heart, I want you to know that I am working hard for our future, so don't leave me, always like me, always be so enthusiastic look at me.An Ling held the phone, and the unspeakable words echoed in his heart.He is close to 1.9 meters tall, wearing a black sweater suit, and a peaked cap pressing his recently grown hair. Even though he wears a white anti-smog mask on his face, it still can't block the sharp facial lines, which is particularly charming. Aggressively handsome, even though he couldn't see his facial features clearly, many people still focused on him, but he focused all his attention on the side of the phone.

"An Ling, no matter what, I want to be with you, so just do your best. I believe in you." Xu Ning was shocked when he heard about T University. Ling casually mentioned T University, which is the best sports university in the country, and there are very few enrollment targets for sports students.But it was the closest one to the university that Xu Ning wanted to apply for.Does An Ling appearing there mean that An Ling has thought about their future, as long as An Ling is willing to take a step forward, he is willing to take countless steps after that, just to get closer to An Ling.

An Ling watched the people in front walk in gradually, knowing that it was his turn soon, he talked to Xu Ning, hung up the phone, and began to warm up.

Before going on stage, he subconsciously took out his mobile phone to check Xu Ning's text message, to cheer himself up.Seeing a new message from Xu Ning, he opened it and glanced at it. His heart seemed to calm down suddenly, but he was even more powerful.

"An Ling, as long as you want, I can be where you are, so don't worry."

There are too many people who have said love words to An Ling, so many that An Ling no longer remembers who said the love words and what they said. He seems to have just grown up, but he has already been in love between men and women After sinking for several years, his heart was like a mountain in the Ice Age, which had been covered in dust for a long time and remained motionless.But Xu Ning is a Siberian spring breeze mixed with a bitter breath. He is cold and noble. If An Ling wants to make An Ling think about his face that always shows no emotion, but he also has a pair of burning eyes. It can melt the cold that An Ling has accumulated for 1 years. Every time he reveals his frank emotions, it can break the heavy shell in An Ling's heart, and let An Ling know how much he cares about this person and how much he likes him.

So when An Ling took off his mask and walked in front of the examiner, he was so calm that he didn't expect it. He already had what he wanted most, and after confirming that person's thoughts, he was fearless. The photo is indifferent and anxious, or because his love words are full of energy, like a lion that is defending its territory and roaring in a low voice, its powerful momentum catches people's attention.To let your loved one know how good you are.