you better leave me alone

Lin Zewu waited all night in the outer corridor, but did not get the result.

The old horse came out of the ward, looked at him, and walked over with a turn.

The old horse asked him to go back to rest first, because he would not see anyone if he waited any longer.

"If something happens, the hospital will notify you." Ma recalled his age, "Is there a few days left for the college entrance examination? You need to rest well."

At Lin Zewu's hand were some clothes that he had brought back home yesterday, and Zhao Qian was admitted to the intensive care unit later, and his family members could not get in.

Lin Zewu stood up, because he kept one movement for a long time, his eyes turned white for a moment, but he declined the old horse's call to Wen Chen for advice.

The old horse said sadly: "Are you all right? Anyway, since he is a new official, it is very easy to ask for leave. Let him come and pick you up?"

Lin Zewu said: "It's okay, just sleep for two hours."

"Okay, then be careful on the road... remember to watch the traffic lights!"

Lin Zewu nodded and left along the way he came.

At the end of May, the weather started to get hot, and the air conditioner was turned on early on the bus.

As soon as he got in the car, his coldness went straight to the neckline.

It was almost noon when Lin Zewu returned home, he squinted his eyes and looked towards the broad front, his footsteps paused when he passed the small street, he looked at the vendors around him, and remembered that he had to buy some food to go back.

Habitually picked out a piece of fish and a bag of cabbage, Lin Zewu went upstairs with his head buried.

But after returning home, he didn't want to bother with the fish, so Lin Zewu dug out the last pack of braised beef noodles from the cabinet, and put a few cabbage leaves in it to make do with it.

Lao Liu called in the afternoon to ask him why he didn't go to class, Lin Zewu made up an excuse to fool him.

After hanging up the phone, Lin Zewu lay back, the sofa sank and bounced back softly, Lin Zewu raised his arms to cover the light in front of him.

Lin Zewu didn't remember when he fell asleep, but he only knew that when he woke up, it was dark outside, and occasionally there were a few cicadas singing.

The squeaking and screaming was very annoying, and it made his nerves that were not so relaxed even tighter.

Lin Zewu fumbled on the sofa a few times, found the mobile phone he had thrown away, and opened it to take a look.

It's almost eight o'clock at night.

Wen Chen sent him a message two hours ago, saying that it was nearly nine o'clock when he got home today, and asked him where he was and if he had eaten.

Lin Zewu was still in a peaceful mood, he went back honestly, and he came back within 2 minutes.

Wen Chen ordered takeaway for him.

It was so dark inside and outside the house, and the yellow light from the street lamp downstairs seemed to have no effect on the sixth floor, so the chat interface between Wen Chen and him was particularly bright and eye-catching.

Their recent chats are almost all Wen Chen's unilateral concern, because he has too many things to do, and he doesn't have time to stop and chat with others.

Lin Zewu was silent for a moment, then answered him: OK.

Lin Zewu covered his face with his palms, took a deep breath and sat up, fumbled for the lamp on the table, unscrewed it, and found the notebook in the schoolbag and spread it out.

He hasn't read a book since yesterday.

There is still one week before the college entrance examination, so I have to make up for it.

About half an hour later, the takeaway was delivered.

This time it's not a hodgepodge of seafood, but ordinary fried pork with a round poached egg on top.

Lin Zewu finished his meal with regard to his English listening skills.

At 10:30 pm, he lays down early to rest.

Early the next morning, Lin Zewu went to school with his bag on his back.

Lin Zewu arranged his time in an orderly manner, and the panic and helplessness of the first day seemed to have long since disappeared, or was hidden under his indifferent face.

Going to class, leaving school, going to the hospital, and going home to rest, Lin Zewu's daily schedule is basically the same.

When he went to the hospital, he didn't see anyone, and he didn't talk to the doctor, but the old horse occasionally chatted with him.

When Lin Zewu left in the night, Lao Ma couldn't help nagging in Zhao Qian's ear during his routine rounds, all of which were trivial and unnutritious.

For example, your son came to see you again today. He is going to take the college entrance examination in two days. I hope that this year's math will not be too difficult. A random score of [-] is enough...

During the two days of the college entrance examination, it rained heavily as usual, and the road was flooded with gold mountains, and the water flooded to the calves.

Fortunately, I heard that Chen had a car, so he went out early and slowly squeezed out of the convoy. The big raindrops hit the car window as if it could smash the glass.

Seeing the timing, Lin Zewu opened the car door and jumped down. It doesn't matter if his shoes are wet, he can enter the examination room anyway.

The exam lasted for four days, and on the last day, the sun came out at noon.

After the exam in the afternoon, the cordon was pulled, and everyone ran out happily with the wild dogs that had lost their rein. The door was in a mess for a while, and the police were so busy that it was hard to dampen their instant enthusiasm.

Lin Zewu followed the crowd and stepped out of the school gate. The air smelled of grass mixed with soil after the rain. He was about to turn around and go home when he left the school gate, when he suddenly heard a "didi" sound behind him.

Turning his head to look, a familiar car on the side of the road slowly rolled down the window, revealing Wen Chen's face, and then Wen Chen waved to him.

The two of them went to have a hot pot meal, as a celebration of the end of Lin Zewu's college entrance examination.

The atmosphere of the hot pot restaurant was so hot that Lin Zewu's face was no longer so calm, and a gap was finally opened in the tense nerves.

Lin Zewu drank two glasses of wine that night, but he had never drank before, so he didn't know how much he could drink.

Facts have proved that he doesn't drink very much, Lin Zewu felt top-heavy for the first time, he climbed into the car with force, and then fell silent.

In the end, it was Wen Chen who carried him upstairs.

Lin Zewu was drunk and didn't know what he was babbling nonsense, and he couldn't understand it when he listened carefully, but the hot breath from his breath made the back of Wen Chen's ears feel hot.

After entering the room, Wen Chen wiped his face with a towel, and in the end he didn't change his clothes. He tore off his school uniform jacket and stuffed him directly into the bed.

Lin Zewu also kicked him "without knowing what to do", and Wen Chen grabbed his ankle quickly and forced it back.

Lin Zewu slept in a daze, and when he woke up the next day, his eyes were still brightly colored, and it took a long time for him to return to normal.

Lin Zewu leaned on the sofa and covered his forehead with an ice pack, and Wen Chen was stirring the hangover tea, with a smile on his lips that he didn't intend to cover up.

Lin Zewu gritted his teeth, and since then he has been insensitive to "wine".

After the third day of the exam.

Lin Zewu was about to go out to the hospital. He was standing at the door waiting for Wen Chen when he suddenly received a call from the hospital.

Wen Chen had just taken a shower, took off his clothes, stood in front of the closet to get his clothes, suddenly the door was pushed open, and there was a loud bang, Wen Chen subconsciously picked up a pillow to cover his chest.

At the door, Lin Zewu was holding the handle, his face was pale and his breathing was short of breath.

Lin Zewu's fingers holding the handle turned white due to the force, and the protrusions at the knuckles almost broke through the flesh.

Lin Zewu calmed down and said, "...the hospital called me just now."

Needless to say, everyone knows what is left.

Wen Chen Fei's fast beating heart gradually stabilized and turned into a beating like a heavy drum.

He put on his clothes, pulled Lin Zewu and left.

The doctor said that Zhao Qian was a little more conscious, but that was it.

When the old horse saw Lin Zewu, he hesitated to speak. He specially picked the visiting time to call Lin Zewu over, and on the way to take them to change clothes, the old horse said a few words.

"Your mother wants to go home."

Lin Zewu's heart stopped beating, and he looked at the serious face of the old horse.

"What... mean? She's awake?"

The old horse sighed: "You will know when you see her, and I will remind you to be mentally prepared."

In the ward, a large piece of white is blindingly white, and the cold instruments and sturdy pipes record life bit by bit.

No amount of mental preparation seemed to work. After entering the ward, Lin Zewu's face was blank for a moment.

Wen Chen held his hand hanging by his side and tightened his strength.

Lin Zewu clasped his hand tightly, and his nails left a few marks on his palm. Lin Zewu stood on the spot and pursed the corners of his lips, feeling a little dazed in his heart.

But in just a few days, Zhao Qian seemed to be a different person, thinner than before, with a dilapidated look on her face, and barely opened her eyes, not knowing when they would close.

When she got closer, Lin Zewu saw her slightly moving lips.

Lin Zewu bent down, leaned closer to listen, and discerned carefully, but the voice was vague and soft, and he listened several times before he understood it.

She said go home.

She wants to go home.

Suddenly, Zhao Qian's eyes staring at the boundless corner slowly turned, her dull eyes gradually converged, and a little light gradually condensed in her eyes.

Her lips moved.

No one knew what she said, Wen Chen only noticed that Lin Zewu's already stiff shoulders became even more stiff, looking like a dilapidated statue from behind, shrouded in the "didi" of the beating heart.

He was struggling and confused, and these emotions finally broke out in an instant after seeing Zhao Qian.

Wen Chen was worried that he wouldn't be able to bear it, but he didn't expect Lin Zewu to straighten up suddenly, and turned to face them, with a suppressed faint collapse on his face.

"I'm going to go through the discharge procedures," he said.

The old horse probably guessed the ending, so he just asked him flatly: "Are you sure?"

Lin Zewu said: "After I took her back, she stopped coming."

The old horse nodded: "Understood."

Then he patted Wen Chen beside him, and greeted him: "Come on, follow me to go through the formalities."

Zhao Qian was taken home that day.

Lin Zewu carried her up to the sixth floor.

The bedroom was still the same as the day she went out. Lin Zewu put her aside, changed her to a new quilt, and finally pushed open the window in the bedroom that had been closed all year round.

Open very big.

Now Lin Zewu was not afraid of her climbing the window and falling out, showing her the vast sky outside and the occasional flock of birds flying by.

After doing this, Lin Zewu looked at Zhao Qian who was leaning on the bed and looking out the window, and asked, "Do you eat fish?"

After a while, Zhao Qian nodded.

This action probably cost her half her life. After clicking, she closed her eyes, and it took a long time to open them again.

When she opened her eyes again, Lin Zewu loosened her clenched fist, picked up the quilt cover that had been changed from the floor, and left without saying a word.

Lin Zewu threw the quilt cover on the floor of the living room, walked out by himself, closed the door and stuck it against the door panel.

As if trying to force out the most pent-up breath in his heart, he exhaled extremely slowly, and scattered in the empty and gloomy corridor, carefully not to be heard by others.

Then start thinking back over the years.

His memory of Zhao Qian only stayed before the age of six, and this short two years.

The most profound thing is the picture of her sitting in the living room burning charcoal, with that calm demeanor, Lin Zewu doesn't know what attitude to think about that matter now.

Too rational, Lin Zewu still can't do it, he is a human being after all.

He tends to be emotional, but Lin Zewu doesn't want to think.

There was one thing that he never told Wen Chen.

Lin Zewu left one of the past events that he said at the beginning.

——Zhao Qian didn't want to leave him alone back then, she locked him in the room, but he escaped.

But even so, this kind of emotion is still unbearable for Lin Zewu.

It shouldn't be like this, Lin Zewu thought, he should have gotten used to loneliness long ago.

Zhao Qian woke up and stayed with him for the past two years, he should repay her, take care of her, arrange her funeral affairs for her, and then live alone.

In the few days when Zhao Qian was brought back, Lin Zewu thought about these things several times.

However, in the end, he secretly hoped that she would live longer, as long as she could listen to him.

And now it's time to come to an end, as all stories have endings.

Maybe today.

Maybe tomorrow.

But Zhao Qian was gone on the third morning.

Lin Zewu was silent for a minute facing her sleeping face, then calmly put down the bowl in his hand, found out the number he had prepared earlier, and called the funeral home.

In the morning, people were picked up.

After completing the formalities, Lin Zewu drove home alone.

Lin Zewu didn't realize that his throat was choked for a long time until he faced the empty living room and the bedroom door which could be seen wide open upon entering.

Too quiet.

It's even quieter than before.

Lin Zewu walked aimlessly back and forth in the living room, his heart beating faster and faster, and finally he pulled out a phone.

The moment I pressed it, a string in my heart seemed to be unstoppably broken.

"Hello." Wen Chen answered in a hurry.

Lin Zewu said dryly: "Brother."

"What's wrong with your throat? Have you caught a cold? Have you seen a doctor?" Lin Zewu posed a few questions like a machine gun.

Lin Zewu held the phone tightly: "Brother."

Wen Chen sensed something was wrong: "Say it."

"I want to see you." Lin Zewu said, and then repeated, "I want to see you now."

Wen Chen was quiet for a moment: "Is it..."

Is something wrong?

This sentence disappeared completely after circling around Wen Chen's mouth, and he said, "Okay."