gray love

I don’t have to go to school for a week. I’m not as happy as usual. The housekeeper has already dealt with the school’s affairs, but I take the initiative to ask the school to punish me according to the school rules. I’m disheartened. What do I care about these things? ?

I asked my dad to stop my tutoring, and my dad agreed. Maybe it's because I haven't been involved in any troubles in the city recently, so he can rest assured to let me take my vacation.

I didn't stay at home this week either. I flew to Yunnan with my luggage on my back, and I went to Xidang Village, Yunling Township, Deqin County, Diqing Prefecture along the way. There is the Meili Snow Mountain that I always dream of. I stayed at a local farmhouse at the foot of the mountain, and they warmly welcomed me. Most of the villagers in this village are Tibetans, and so is the house I stayed at.

According to the Tibetan etiquette of hospitality, highland barley wine is indispensable. I drank highland barley wine when I went to Tibet before, because it was a bit sour, and I was not used to it. He hesitated and drank it.I know that what I smell now can't cover up the taste in my heart.I can't eat enough, can't chew, can't drink loudly, and don't go overboard when picking food. I behave like a decent guest, just like Xiao said: "People are rude and don't give birth."

Xiao, what a beautiful name.

"Is there a place to worship the Buddha here?" I asked the old woman opposite who was shaking the prayer wheel, and the host quickly translated in Tibetan.

The old lady smiled and showed me the way with a voice that has experienced many vicissitudes. The host interpreted for me, and I nodded to express my understanding.

The old grandma smiled and said another word, and the host translated and said: "Grandma said, as long as there is a Buddha in your heart, you can do it anywhere."

I sat cross-legged under the dim light, and smiled quietly at the brown Tibetan-style low table.

The next day, I changed into the local clothes and went to the temple that the grandmother told me. The temple is not big, but it has a strong taste of Lama. I.

I stood in front of the Buddha statue, knelt on the bedding with my palms folded, closed my eyes piously, and my heart was like still water...

Between the clear sky and the withered yellow meadow stands a majestic snow-capped mountain. The mountain dances with silver snakes and the original wax statue, stretching for hundreds of miles, solemn and holy.The gray and white mountain peaks are spotless in my transparent heart.

I looked at the snow-capped mountain and said to the man who split the wood: "Snow-capped mountain, can I climb it?"

"Yes," said the male host, "now many foreign tourists like you go to the snow-capped mountains to worship, and you can climb the mountain with them."

"No, I want to climb alone." I said looking at the snow-capped mountains in the distance.

The male host opened his eyes wide and waved his hands and said, "No, no, it's dangerous to climb the snow mountain alone without a guide in this season."

"Where is that mountain?" I pointed to a relatively small mountain in the southeast direction.

The male host thought about it for a while and said awkwardly: "It is possible, but you are alone..."

"Don't worry, Uncle Gonpo," I said with a smile, "God dare not take mine away."

Finally, I persuaded the male host, but we both agreed that if I hadn’t come down the mountain at [-]:[-] in the afternoon, he would bring someone up the mountain to find me.

Such a simple Tibetan uncle.

I was sent to the foot of the snow-capped mountain by my host on a yak, and he gave me thousands of instructions on the precautions and route for climbing. After I thanked him, I climbed up the path they had stepped on to collect medicinal materials in the past years.

At the beginning, I climbed with ease, but later, with the increase of altitude and physical exertion, I was a little exhausted. Fortunately, the altitude was not high, and I climbed to the top of the mountain before I fell down.

I stood on the top of the mountain panting heavily, my vest was soaked through.It was cold and windy, and the gas I exhaled condensed into fog on the goggles. I pushed the goggles to the top of my head, stood up, looked at the winding and spectacular snow-capped mountains excitedly, and smiled heartily.

I turned on the phone, took a selfie, and then opened Weibo to post a post. Although it is not good on Shanding.com, I think it will be posted one day: Whenever I make trouble, you will always appear, and now, in On the top of the snow mountain, if I make trouble again, will you still come?Will you still come with your phrase "I won't give up on you."

After returning to the village smoothly, Weibo was posted out at some time, along with a like from Xiyu Wei'an.

I sat on the meadow in the wind, and watched the male master in the distance herding sheep on the vast meadow. At this time, the grass was not fat and the leaves were not green, but the patches of white were greedily picking up what was left. Resources, just like me, are hungry for her love and stay...

It was already night when I got home from the airport, I took a shower, made a bowl of instant noodles and sat in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows looking out the window, the stream was endless, and the brightly lit night brought me back to the noisy city.

The phone is still turned off, I restarted the phone, and there were missed calls and text messages from Xiao, "Stinky boy, why did you turn off the phone?"

Seeing her text message, I lost my original excitement and became calmer.

Maybe it was the purification given to me by the snow mountain.

I called her back and she answered almost immediately.

"Hi, brat." She seemed excited on the other side of the phone.

"Teacher," I opened the instant noodles and took a look, "What do you want?"

"Oh, it's nothing serious, what are you doing?"

"Eat instant noodles." I put the steaming instant noodles on the table and sat down.

"How can I eat that, come out, let's go out to eat." Yu Xiao said excitedly.

I glanced at my watch, it was past eight o'clock, and I said, "It's too late, you have class tomorrow..."

"Are you still mad at me?" she said slightly disappointed

I feel sorry for you before it's too late, how can I be angry with you, I quickly said: "Do you think I'm such a narrow-minded person?"

"So come out, I'm hungry too."

As soon as I heard that she was still hungry, I quickly tore off my clothes and put them on.

"I'm going out, where are we going?"

...

I didn't ride or take a taxi, and trot all the way to her downstairs.

She looked at me out of breath in surprise.

"Where's your car?" she said

"It's so close, I didn't ride it." I said out of breath.

"Then you can't come here?" She took out the handkerchief in her bag and helped me wipe the little sweat on my forehead.

I was stunned, watching her movements in astonishment, the atmosphere was a little ambiguous, but maybe I was the only one who felt ambiguous, because there was no weirdness or embarrassment in the corners of her smiling mouth.

My ears are red.

"Where are you going to eat?" My nervous big tongue, she put away the handkerchief and said, "What do you want to eat?"

As long as I can have dinner with you, I can eat anything. Although I thought so in my heart, I said in my mouth: "As long as it can fill my stomach, I can eat anything."

"Okay, come with me." She happily walked ahead, and I silently watched her figure behind her.

The night in mid-October was no longer hot and restless in summer, and the refreshing wind swirled and hid in my collar. I wrapped my coat and found that she was also wearing thin clothes. After thinking about it, I said, "Hey, teacher, Let's go eat barbecue."

Before she could react, I took her by the arm to hail a taxi and got in.

Korean barbecue restaurant, we sat in a window seat.

I dipped the roasted beef in some sauce and carefully wrapped it with lettuce. While holding it in front of Xiao, I used my left hand to hold it underneath to prevent the sauce from dripping onto her body.

"Ah—" I gestured to feed her.

She opened her eyes and looked at me in disbelief and embarrassment. I glared at her and pointed at the beef I gave her with commanding eyes.

She hesitated for a while, but opened her mouth shyly. Just about to eat, I suddenly stopped and stuffed the beef into my mouth, and said intoxicatedly while chewing: "Mmm - it's delicious."

Yu Xiao stared at me with a dark face, I looked at her and pretended nothing happened and said, "Eat, why don't you eat?"

"Cut!" she muttered, rolling her eyes and turning the eel on the grill.

I smiled in satisfaction, put another piece of wrapped beef on the plate in front of her, and put a bowl of cooked soup in front of her.

"That's about the same." She picked up the lettuce-wrapped meat and gently put it in her mouth.

I laughed like a joke, and she pouted and said, "What are you laughing at?"

I suppressed a smile and said, "Teacher, you don't have to pretend to be a lady in front of me. If you're hungry, just eat."

"Hey!" She sat up straight and said angrily, "Is that how you talk to your teacher?"

I stopped smiling, lowered my head as if I had done something wrong, and kept silent.

Seeing that I had a good attitude of admitting my mistake, she picked up another piece of meat and ate it.

We were full of wine and food, and our cheeks were flushed red by the charcoal fire. At this time, Xiao's expression suddenly hesitated.

As if I had read her mind, I said, "Teacher, just say what you want."

She looked at me with rippling eyes, and the temperature in her eyes quietly melted me.

"What...what's the matter? Is there something on my face?" I just wanted to reach out to touch my face but was preempted by her fiery fingers.

She gently touched my left cheek, and the hot fingertips burned through my subcutaneous fat along with my blood all the way to my heart.

"Does it hurt?" The infinite love in her eyes touched the nerves of my whole body, her eyes were red, and I thought I was wrong, but under the bright light and the glow of the charcoal fire, the emotion she showed at this moment was clear at a glance.

I looked at her in amazement, at her slightly frowning brows, at her deep melancholy, and my heart throbbed with pain.

"It doesn't hurt." I said softly.

She put down her hand, pursed her lips and was about to speak when I suddenly said first:

"do not say sorry."

This time she was stunned.

"What you did was right that day. I shouldn't be impulsive, I shouldn't contradict, it's all my fault, your slap was right."

I said in a panic, I was afraid that the guilt she was about to express would tear my heart like a knife, a fire, a rope, or cooking...

"I also want to say...thank you," she said earnestly.

"Why thank you?" I breathed a sigh of relief and raised my eyebrows.

She smiled and said, "No one in the class dares to be late or leave early, no one deliberately makes trouble, and no one dares to talk back to me. I feel that I have a lot of free time."

I smiled wryly.

"But... Although this is the ending I expected, it is not the process I want." She said with a sad face.

"I know, I shouldn't use violence to solve it." I lowered my eyes.

"Violence can't solve everything. Although it temporarily calms the anger, one day it will be as terrifying as detonating gas." She said seriously.

I looked at the charcoal fire in a daze in silence.

"I don't want you to be that kind of person." She also stared blankly at the flickering charcoal fire and said slowly: "I thought you would be different from them."

"Different from whom?" I asked.

"I've seen a lot of well-dressed girls like you, and they seem to be...decadent."

She paused and continued: "They are full of bad words, smoke, drink and fight. They seem to lack a sense of existence. They want to try their best to sell themselves in this way, but in my eyes, they are all childish performances. Just like you... like a child."

"I...like a child?" I said with a wry smile.

"Yes," she looked at me with wistful eyes: "I don't want you to be uneducated and lack positive energy like them. What I want is you who is unique and sunny."

"The unique and sunny me?"

"Well," she said with blazing eyes, "you are the only one who did it, but Sunshine... Sigh, I always feel that your eyes are full of sorrow..."

"Teacher, I know." I looked at her firmly, "I will be sunny."

"I have always believed that what you say is what you say." She regained her watery eyes and satisfied smile.

When I got home, I lay on the bed, feeling exhausted, I smiled and said, "I can finally fall asleep."

This week, I took the initiative to go to bed so early for the first time, even though it was already past eleven o'clock, even though there was a lingering heavy feeling about you in my heart, even though you didn't know that I love you...

You don't know why I smoke, you don't know why I drink, you don't know why I'm violent, you don't know why I'm sad...

in the sun

Cautiously full of flowers

Blossoming is the hope of my past life

When you approach

Please listen carefully

That trembling leaf

Is the enthusiasm I am waiting for

And when you finally pass by ignoring

landed behind you

Oh my friend

That's not petals

That's my withered heart