still in the mirror

On the eve of the war, many clothes, objects, and books at home had been packed into rattan boxes.Li Chengwu was re-employed, and the family's guards were changed (last year's guards were sent by Zhou Yeping), Zhou and Li got married, and the marriage has been cold until now.

When war broke out in Shanghai, Cong Fei fled to Chongqing with his father. Just like when he left Peking, all the servants in the family were dismissed, and only Qingyu was brought with him.When the war broke out in Guangzhou, Youling fled to Hong Kong with the Zhou family's women.

During the two years in Chongqing, the father and son lived in a small building, except for a group of guards, there were only two little maids and Qingyu.Li Chengwu is very busy, going to Chengdu for a while, and going abroad for a while, but Cong Fei either goes to the Central University where he moved to Chongqing to attend classes, or stays at home.

Chongqing during the Anti-Japanese War did not have as many entertainment activities as Shanghai before the war. If you heard the alarm, you had to run to hide in the air-raid shelter. Broken, the silver glittering glass splashed all over the floor.

Sometimes Li Chengwu would say, you should go to Chengdu to avoid it, and Cong Fei was so angry that he pointed to the newspaper the day before yesterday and said, how come it was so close that Dad was not killed!

There are good moments too.

Sometimes the bedroom is replaced with a white rattan-colored bed. Early on the weekend morning, Li Chengwu opened the bed curtain, and the sun flooded in, and the bed was covered with brilliant spring light. I saw Li Chengwu eating wisteria mixed with sugar by the window, wearing a loose linen shirt, floating in like a cloud, as if his body didn't exist.

Cong Fei said: "I'll try..."

He fed him a chopstick, and the light sweet fragrance swayed in his mouth, and the whole room turned a hazy lavender.

Cong Fei felt that Li Chengwu had become more handsome. He sometimes complained to himself about those from the Ministry of Finance and those in Chengdu. Sometimes he told himself about the European battlefield, and sometimes he discussed world history.At this time, Cong Fei looked into his eyes, the shape was undulating, the eyelids seemed to be specially cut for his soft light, the pupils sank inside, as if Zhao Yun had fallen in, magnificent and far away.

Many times when Li Chengwu didn't return late at night, Cong Fei lay on the big bed alone with his eyes open, and the desk lamp that was left on for the night trembled and shattered into pieces on the ceiling. He became the child who couldn't leave his father for even a moment.

After waiting for an unknown amount of time, Cong Fei got up and looked at his watch when he heard the car driving into the garden. It was three o'clock in the morning.

After Li Chengwu finished washing in another room, he went to bed lightly. He lay down, and after a while, he couldn't sleep again and sighed.

The young man hugged him and said, "There is honey on the table that I mixed with milk, do you want to drink it?"

Li Chengwu smiled: "It's so cute, I know to leave my leftover cold honey to Dad."

Cong Fei pushed him away: "Would you like to drink or not."

Li Chengwu grabbed him again and said with a smile: "Come on, give me a hug."

The boy shouted: "Go away, who wants to kiss you!"

Li Chengwu smiled lowly: "I didn't let the young master kiss, it was the young master who wanted to kiss himself."

In the third year, Li Chengwu resigned and took his son to Hong Kong to discuss wartime supplies with the Nanyang Chinese. The father and son finally reunited.You Ling went to Nanyang a few times, and now she speaks English better than when she was studying in the United States, and she is also fluent in Cantonese.

The big house in Hong Kong is ready-made. The predecessors planted trees and the descendants enjoyed the shade, and the garden was full of colorful subtropical plants.Li Chengwu was too literati to be used to it, so he left only palms, plantains, ferns, banyan trees, bamboos, and sapphire-colored clematis, and the rest were shoveled clean, leaving nothing but green and melting.

Some nights, Cong Fei ran to Li Chengwu's study to bother him, hugged his neck from behind, and rubbed his hair on his collar.After a long time, Li Chengwu pushed him away like a child who was bored, asked him about his job in the bank, and said that if he went to the United States to take a diplomatic post, he would be ready to go to the United States to study for a master's degree.

It doesn't matter where Congfei goes, as long as he can follow Li Chengwu.He couldn't get used to seeing Youling get money from her mother's family in order to fight in Zhou's family, and often hinted to Li Chengwu: "You lend money to Zhou Baohuai, why don't you buy land in Hong Kong, how much land can you buy with that money."

Li Chengwu remained calm and said: "Now the situation is not stable, I would rather buy government bonds. During wartime, real estate is hidden but cannot be hidden, and it is not easy to sell."

Some nights, Li Chengwu lay lazily on the bed pillow, the semen on the chiffon satin was still hot, Cong Fei crawled over to kiss him again, he leaned slightly, the summer wind broke through the gauze curtain, blowing on their faces The wind blows, and the room is dark, there is no moon, only a candle, the wind blows the beautiful candle light half-bright, flickering dimly, but it is not candle flame, it is his tongue and his kiss.

One afternoon, Youling came over and smelled the fragrance of lavender in the courtyard. She saw Qingyu scrubbing the bedsheets. Silk, casting a fragmented shadow on the ground.

You Ling looked at it for a while, then went over and asked: "I wanted to ask a while ago, why did you wash things yourself? Are those Filipino maids blind and handicapped?"

Qingyu said: "It's nothing. After leaving Shanghai, I changed a lot of places. The third master doesn't like people he doesn't know to wash his bed and clothes. I've been used to it for so many years."

You Ling dragged a rattan chair, sat down, and stared at Qingyu washing the sheets without saying a word.

Qingyu smiled and said: "Miss, if you want to bask in the sun, go to the front yard, and don't splash dirty water on you later."

The goose-yellow lace of the cheongsam brushed the edge of the water-blue basin, and Youling lowered her head and twisted the foreign handkerchief, she said softly: "Sister Qingyu, you don't have to be so polite when you talk to me, you are in our house, it is me and Cong Fei. Dear sister."

She looked up at the soft winter sun, raised her handkerchief to cover it, squinted her eyes for a while, and said, "I'm going to divorce Zhou Baohuai, life and death, I belong to the Li family. Don't treat me like an outsider."

"Miss?"

"It's not that I'm completely ignorant of this matter, it's just that you are with their father and son every day, so it's inevitable that I can only ask you to verify many things."

As soon as Qingyu loosened her hand, the heavy sheet fell into the water, and a few drops of water flew onto the cheongsams of the two of them.

She stood up and took two sloppy steps on the same spot, as if she was about to fall, You Ling hurriedly supported her, only to hear her say: "I used to think that no one else knew, I was stupid, and someone as smart as Miss People, how could I not notice it at all, of course I wash the sheets and quilt covers, and I am the only one who can go in and clean the bedroom. If others want to help me, I dare not... Really... really sinful..."

Youling asked Qingyu to sit on the rattan chair, took off her windbreaker and sat on the small stool, the jade bracelet on her wrist was soaked in the water, she rubbed the bed mattress and said: "It's been hard for you these years."

In the study room at night, a furnace of cool sandalwood is smoked, and the palm trees outside the window have large leaves and heavy branches, and the shadows on the ground glass window are scattered in the color of doves.

"How can you do this kind of thing! Me! I watched him grow up! He is not sensible, Dad, are you also bewitched!?" You Ling sat on the sofa, wringing the handkerchief with both hands, cursing and crying , "Anyway, Cong Fei can't follow you to America!"

At the end of the year, Li Chengwu will return to his post and go to the United States.At this moment, he rubbed his forehead and said nothing.

You Ling was tired from crying and began to smoke, the fog was thicker and thicker, the window was suddenly touched by something, and then it crackled, like beans were sprinkled on the glass window, the heavy rain fell, and there was a sudden thunder, Li Chengwu was shocked, as if he woke up.

"Okay, you go back, I'll go tell Cong Fei and let him stay here."

----

Youling pulled back the dove-purple bed curtain, her body as white as wall powder swayed in the dressing mirror, she put on a suspender silk skirt, and then a georgette cheongsam, the green georgette showed through the inner skirt, faintly visible , Ruo Huang Ruo Qing.She brushed her hair out casually, looked at the cold white face in the mirror, and buttoned her collar gracefully.

"What are you going to do?" Zhou Baohui woke up, turned over and watched her get dressed.

You Ling answered the wrong question: "The boat next week, don't forget the date."

Baohui was silent for a long time, and said in a whisper, "Sister, come with me."

You Ling opened the closet, pulled out a half-worn lacquer box inlaid with mother-of-pearl, opened the drawer, and a wave of sealed moisture came out.

She fumbled in a pile of tortoiseshell, diamond rings, and earrings, searching to the bottom, confused, and found three sapphires of different colors. For a while, she couldn't tell which one was her wedding ring.She thought of Zhou Baohuai's appearance, shivered, and said to Baohui: "There is nothing wrong with my family, why should I go? Don't call me sister, I only have one younger brother, Li Congfei, this one is for you, hurry up these two days Let's sell it."

Bao Hui stretched out his hand, took the ring she threw, looked at it, and said with a chuckle: "I'll keep your wedding ring, and I won't sell it."

Youling glanced at him, saw his face was sulking, and thought of the Zhou family where the tree fell and the monkeys were scattered, she sighed inwardly, and went out.

The previous month, in late autumn, Zhou Yeping was convicted of a traitor. People said that he was going to Nanjing to take up a post in the puppet government when the plane crashed on the way.

When the news of Zhou Yeping's death came, You Ling was sitting on the sofa holding the newspaper, remembering that this house was given by Zhou Yeping, the surrounding walls suddenly became cold and gloomy.The banana leaf by the window is like a huge fan, chilling all the love, hate and incest. The cries, groans, and the old and young of the Zhou family are all laid out on the floor tiles. The last heat.

Zhou Baohuai stumbled down from upstairs, looked at You Ling, then at the newspaper in her hand, and paced back and forth in the living room.

Youling hates Baohuai's low self-esteem and cleverness, a poor person who contributes to the affair between his father and his wife in order to be valued by his father.But he didn't know, his father knew him too well, Zhou Yeping had told You Ling long ago that the second child had a gloomy girlish air, was too cautious, couldn't take on big responsibilities, and was afraid of spoiling other people's big things.

As soon as Youling entered the house, she was selfish and selfish, while Baohuai lived in Zhou's house, facing her brother, stepmother, father, and father's wives, living a more gloomy, indifferent, and worrying life.On the sofa table are pots of mandarin duck jasmines that are about to wither, like swollen and rotten faces. I can’t remember how long ago they were still fragrant, but now they have turned into particles of froth that the fragrance has disappeared.

Suddenly, Zhou Baohuai walked up to her quickly, knelt down, held her hand on her knee, and said with a mournful expression, "Youling, hurry up... divorce me soon, sue me and slander me as much as you can, I admit it, I admit it, you...you need to leave this house quickly..."

You Ling looked down at him, her toes twitched slightly in the low-heeled gold-woven slippers, and said calmly: "I thought you were going to seek revenge on me, what can I slander you? A traitor?"

Baohuai was slightly stunned, and said anxiously: "Zhou Yeping is a traitor! I am not!"

"Hmph! Is he?"

He lowered his head again, and leaned on her lap, muttering, his voice was like a thin river: "He is, he is, he cheated a lot of money for arms with the surname Liang, he is a traitor, You Ling, do you love her?" He, you don't love me, you don't believe what I say, but you don't believe him when he doesn't say anything."

After a while, looking at his shrugging shoulders, You Ling said, "I don't love him."

She moved his face away, got up and said: "Tomorrow, tomorrow I will bring the lawsuit, and the divorce agreement must be signed by you, and your defense must be reviewed by my lawyer."

He remembered the first time he saw her, on the university campus, when he got lost and dared not speak English, a Chinese beauty walked towards him.Her high heels seemed to be on the tip of his heart, when she walked in with a smile that year, and now when she left with a cold face.

Now that the matter has come to this point, Baohuai feels a little happy, at least this woman is his wife, until the Zhou family fell, and the other men in the family were not her legitimate husbands.So in the days of great boredom and helplessness, in every gloomy mansion, between years of wars and tossings, he took care to find out a little bit of beautiful and peaceful memories.

There are countless wives and children in the world, and countless guns and hatreds. If China is really porcelain, it must be secret-colored porcelain, under the ice-like jade-like secret glaze, from the Three Dynasties to Song and Ming The cold fragrance of philosophy, the heavy firing from Xinhai to the Anti-Japanese War, on the light blue porcelain surface, he and she are just two threads in thousands of ice patterns, but two threads that are very close.If he pleaded guilty, if he didn't run away, he would be able to clear up her relationship with the Zhou family, and she would go out from then on.

On the afternoon of the second day when he signed the divorce papers and refused to write the defense papers, Baohuai felt that he had done something outrageous and worthy of nostalgia, even if he would be escorted to a prison in Guangxi tomorrow.

At night, he slept alone in Youling's bedroom, suffering from insomnia, got up and hung up the bed curtain, opened the window, the wind came in, the balls of the velvet curtain shook slightly, and he seemed to smell the fragrance of her hair again.

He didn't look through her things on weekdays, so he randomly opened her closet, and it was full of her clothes: gauze cheongsam, brocade cheongsam, damask cape, tweed coat, suspender dress, afternoon tea dress, dinner dress , evening dresses, British trench coats, French wide-brimmed hats... His fingertips passed over their bright golden light. It turned out that wealth and glory are really fleeting. His knees gave way and he sat down on the ground.

At this time, he saw a half-worn wooden box in the closet, with silver ornaments wrapped around the corners and tortoise shell buttons, so beautiful, he took it out and opened it, a faint fragrance spread out, and there were various letters inside.

He poured it out and read it one by one. They were all simple business orders, greetings, and self-reports of safety. Until the end, that is, the top letter was written by herself who hadn't sent it yet.

He unfolded the thin blue paper, his eyes slumped down every word, all his righteousness and arrogance were wiped out, and he snorted a gloomy and indifferent smile.

Baohui:

Stay safe.

I know your pain, don't blame me for sending you away cruelly.

I want to go to America with you.

I really laughed at myself, because of you, I thought of sending you to the Malay forest, building a hut, and I came to you every week, no, every day.

Sometimes I am also afraid that I have committed too many crimes on weekdays, if I only want to be with you, the retribution given to me will fall on you, and then I will never be able to forgive myself.

When you go to the United States, you must remember to take your medicine. When you go out to play cards, you must use a plastic box to carry your daily medicine in your pocket.Drink water to drink cold water, cold water is not clean.Don't play cards and dance with those ignorant people, your card skills are poor, you will lose money, and you dance too well, let other girls take advantage of it, I can only envy them and sigh.You can also study for a master's degree. If you need money, as long as you give me a valid reason, I will help you.

Recently, I dare not even see you. I am afraid of making myself sad, afraid that you will find out my stupidity, my idiocy, and my illness.So I'll send it to you when you arrive in the US.

Sojourn and recreation

Young Lingshang

November [-]th, Hong Kong, the dying lights are like beans

The author says:

I’m too lazy to write so many short stories, I’ll think about the side story if more people read it