Long grass warbler flying

Two and a half years ago, Ji Xiao had just received the admission notice from No. [-] Middle School, and when he took it home, he didn't care to show off, so he was beaten up first.

There are so many key high schools named after numbers in the first-tier cities, and being admitted is about half a foot into a key university. Even with the lintel shining, the parents said it with joy: "Oh, you didn't do well in the exam. Get on the score line!" Then drift away amid the "congratulations" from relatives and friends.

Fifth Middle School is such a school.Not only is the admission score line not friendly at all, but many policies have been formulated to eliminate the troubles of adulteration from the root, and maintain a very noble and glamorous attitude.

Ji Xiao performed super-level in the senior high school entrance examination. Not only did he pass the cut-off score of the fifth middle school, but he was also able to attend the experimental class as soon as he entered the school.He was already very happy when he got the report card. At that time, his mother smiled and said that he was promising.

After receiving the admission notice, just as Ji Xiao pushed open the door, an ashtray flew past his ear, hit the wall at the entrance, and shattered completely.

His notice fluttered to the ground, and he was stunned. Looking at the angry man in front of him, he asked cautiously, "Uncle, what's wrong?"

When this claim was made, the man probably remembered that it was not his own, and his subordinates showed affection.Only now did Ji Xiao hurriedly look towards the living room. His mother was sitting on the sofa, her eyes were red, obviously she had just cried.

Ji Xiao was sensitive since he was a child, several dangerous conjectures popped up all at once, is his mother going to divorce again?Or a junior high school teacher suing imperial court?All kinds of thoughts frightened him, and he stood still and didn't dare to move.

Just when she was about to speak, her mother said, "Xiaoxiao, tell me the truth, do you like boys?"

With a single sentence, thunderbolts shattered all Ji Xiao's guesses in an instant.Reason immediately went offline when he heard the sound, he lost the ability to think, and nodded instinctively.

When the man slapped down, Ji Xiao felt the burning left cheek and thought: "Fuck, it's over."

Later, he couldn't count how many slaps and fists he received, but he only remembered that his face was swollen and the corners of his mouth were broken, and there were still several places on his body that were aching.His stepfather, who was in charge of the house, made him kneel as a punishment, so he knelt honestly in front of his mother without daring to say anything, and then figured out the ins and outs by himself from what his mother said.

Ji Xiao thought bitterly, "...it's not my own birth to be so strict, it's too flattering to me."

Ji Xiao's legal father's surname is Qiu, and his mother's surname.My parents divorced when I was young, and when I was in the third grade of elementary school, my mother remarried, and the other party was just like her.

As a result, the two fragmented families became one, and Ji Xiao had an older sister who was one year older.

Probably since he was a single parent without a man in his family, Ji Xiao understood Ms. Ji Nan's difficulties when he was a child, and behaved very well-behaved. When the other party proposed to find him a father, he quickly accepted it.At the beginning, Ji Xiao had to accept the sudden adjustment of two more family members. Fortunately, Mr. Qiu Zhijun and his sister were very easy to get along with.

The peaceful life lasted until Ji Xiao entered junior high school, which was broken by the sudden onset of puberty.

Ji Xiao grew up in a relaxed educational environment, and his parents were not very harsh on puppy love, and even tacitly encouraged him, thinking that it would help his children get love.

In the second year of junior high school, Ji Xiao received the first love letter in his life.The childish pink envelope and the fragrant letter paper are as good as a middle school student's excellent composition.From then on, he looked at that girl more often. At that time, the love talk was sneaky, and there was little physical contact. Most of the time, he just walked side by side.

His first love doesn't seem to be as sweet and throbbing as in many youth novels. The girl likes him very much and is always clingy. Ji Xiao didn't care about it at first, but gradually began to feel a little annoyed.

During the fifth month of dating, the girl took advantage of Ji Xiao's surprise and kissed him.

It was around this moment that the "a little bit of annoyance" in Ji Xiao's heart magnified into [-] points of irritability.And this is just the trigger. The boys in the class are ignorant, but they take advantage of their puberty to do things that are expressly forbidden by adults.

Once Ji Xiao accidentally ran into some boys in his class secretly watching pornographic videos during their lunch break. He leaned over to look at them curiously, and then it became more and more serious-it seemed that the images did not have any attraction for him, while the others The excitement shown by the classmates was as dull and inexplicable as the kisses from the girls.

No matter how ignorant he was, he also silently realized something at this time.

After this incident, 14-year-old Ji Xiao spent half a month going to the municipal library, reading all the popular science books on homosexuality, filling his mind with various theories, and finally admitted the facts in despair.

He is gay, the natural kind, and he can't be twisted even if he is electrocuted into a luminous body.

Ji Xiao didn't tell anyone this big secret, including his first love, which died without a cause, like a joke.

Even though the book says that this is normal and no one can control it, but at that time homosexuality had just been removed from the list of mental illnesses for a few years, and there was no jokes of the whole people at that time, and there was no atmosphere of complaining about the same sex to persuade the same sex, most people ——Especially adults—the color changes when they hear it, and the first reaction is "Can it be cured?"

In Ji Xiao's diary, it is clearly written, fear, apprehension, entanglement and self-torture.

He delusionally thought that something was wrong with him, but he didn't dare to ask someone to dispatch him. At that time, he didn't know Zhai Xinen, so he had to chew silently, dragging and pulling between "sick" and "normal", and finally he became more silent and alienated, making himself very uncomfortable. busy.In the late night when I was free, these resentments and entanglements fell on the pen, and I wrote a thick diary.

He keeps this diary locked, and Ji Xiao doesn't quite believe the parents' "respect" - his premonition is right, he forgot to lock it before going out that day, so the mother who cleaned the room turned two pages out of curiosity.

The whole family shared his secret in an almost naked|naked way.

Ji Xiao didn't eat that day, locked the door behind his back, and sat on the edge of the bed rubbing his sore knees.He took off his trousers, seeing the bruises on them, guilt and anger welled up together.

"She has seen my true thoughts, why does she still think it's my fault?" Ji Xiao thought sarcastically, rubbing the bruise with his hands, another burst of heart-pounding pain.

He struggled until 11:[-], walked out of the room and took the medicine to reduce swelling.

At first, Ji Xiao naively thought that it would be the same as every quarrel before, as long as the night passed and everything would be fine.He fell asleep as if nothing had happened, and then from the next day when the sun rose, everything changed.

The most obvious one is Qiu Zhijun, at first he was very kind to Ji Xiao, trying his best to play the role of a good father.After the ashtray was smashed to the wrong side, Qiu Zhijun never spoke to Ji Xiao again. Every time he saw him, he squinted his eyes, and even put aside Ji Xiao's drinking cup, as if he didn't have a different mentality, but got something worthless. A curable infectious disease.

Ms. Ji Nan didn't chat with Ji Xiao for several days, and she only sighed when she saw him. The acceptance letter from No. [-] Middle School didn't heal, and she could burst into tears after just a few words.

Ji Xiao could understand the expression on his face, and thought, "Oh, there is no room for turning around."

Fortunately, he has been a single parent with his mother for a long time, and he never took it to heart when he encountered this kind of cold violence-it is better than those neighbors in the past who secretly said that he has no father, and his homosexuality will not be brought out in the open Well, as long as the family members don't shout "Our Xiao Ji is gay", no one will know it within a radius of [-] miles.

Usually the border is like a transparent person, and during the summer vacation, he is often bored in the room, and when guests come to visit, he hastily pretends to be a fatherly and filial son.

Ji Xiao really had enough, it was the first time in his life that he was so eager to start school.

He applied to live on campus, but was unsuccessful because he spoke too late.What's even more frightening is that there is no evening self-study in the fifth middle school, which means that he has to live at home every day, which is completely contrary to his original idea.

Ji Xiao used the excuse of wanting to take extra lessons, and stayed alone in the classroom after school every day until after seven o’clock before returning home. He dawdled several times on the way and had to settle down at ten o’clock. He is in a good mood and is isolated outside the house, thinking that he is too lazy to bother his parents.

It was during the day-to-day dawdling that he met Zhai Xinen.

Ji Xiao doesn't want to get in touch with girls very much, for fear of embarrassing each other, but it's abnormal for him to stay so late in the classroom every day. Zhai Xinen is from the Disciplinary Inspection Department of the Student Union, and he often sees it when he inspects the classroom.After a long time, I chatted with him first and asked him why he didn't go home.

Ji Xiao admits that the first time he talked to Zhai Xinen, he was a little overwhelmed.

The solitude and isolation of a summer vacation made him want to talk to someone very much. It happened that Zhai Xinen was not in their class and they had never met each other. Even if he felt disgusted, he might not be able to see him in the future.

Full of complaints and complaints, Zhai Xinen neither pitied him nor despised him, he just said lightly: "Then you are really unlucky, and you are not ashamed, and I love you."

Ji Xiao glanced at her suspiciously, then nodded tentatively: "Don't you think I'm... strange?"

Zhai Xinen took it for granted: "It's normal, I'm a new youth in the 21st century, and I'm very accepting of this kind of thing. If you don't mess with me in the future, I won't molest you."

Ji Xiao: "..."

This person is really a strange woman.

Then Ji Xiao finally had a friend who could speak his mind, although most of the time, his serious inner voice was still muffled by himself.Seeing him withdrawn, the other party always tried to make him happy——Ji Xiao was always puzzled, he was usually too cheerful in front of his classmates, how could this little girl see that he was unhappy.

Di Xinen explained: "It's probably a woman's sixth sense. By the way, do you want to come to the student union to have fun? Many people here are not from the same class, and they are quite nice. Why don't you come and see if you like it? People? Don’t want too many handsome boys in the student union.”

Ji Xiao: "Don't, Queen Mother, you must not condescend to help the little matchmaker."

Empress Dowager Zhai pursed her lips and said yes, but still relied on the convenience of her position to send Ji Xiao to the student union every now and then.

The student union of No. [-] Middle School occupies two offices exclusively, and they often gather together to gamble when they have nothing to do... Oh no, gather together to play chess and card puzzle games.There is a clear division of labor when there is something to do, and they are not familiar with each other. As a non-staff member, Ji Xiao helped move the things for the party twice, and won the hearts of the elites.

Tall, talkative, good-natured, he is simply the template for the most ideal classmate.There were a few who had a spring heart, and since he followed Zhai Xinen's ass all day long, they gradually gave up their hearts.

Ji Xiao probably likes this kind of atmosphere.So before the Christmas party, when he received a call asking for help with the takeaway at the school gate, Ji Xiao readily agreed.

The fifth middle school has a serious style of study, and there are many activities. There are cultural festivals, New Year's songs, campus top ten, and various competitions. The theme is set every month, and the rest of the high schools are envied.

However, the student council was so busy that the teacher seemed to be urging him to die.

The president of the student council is a sophomore in high school. She was afraid of starving a group of coolies, so she ordered takeaway at public expense before the party started.At that time, everyone was so busy that their feet didn't touch the ground, so the senior had to call the non-staff: "Ah Xiao, help the world!"

When Ji Xiao arrived at the destination, both hands were filled with takeaway bags.He pulled away the hot junk food, and the bastards from the student union rushed forward immediately.

He was speechless and choked: "Hey, eat slowly... Oh classmate, you take this."

Randomly stuffing a hamburger to someone next to him, Ji Xiao doesn't care if he knows him or not.He felt that the man hesitated for a moment before taking it, and then said: "Don't be polite to me, it's public money!"

After speaking, he felt a lightness in his hand, and instinctively raised his head to glance in that person's direction.

The other party had already accepted his burger, thanked him politely, and was slowly peeling off the wrapping paper.The lights in the backstage are not as bright as those in the front, and a few warm yellow lights dutifully spread out the warmth in the room.

It was crowded and warm, and the voice of his voice was so loud that the sky was filled with excitement. When he raised his eyes, Ji Xiao saw Chu Lan.

He took the hamburger and moved to the side, leaning against a table.Not particularly tall, it should have just reached Ji Xiao's chin, fair complexion, wearing a navy blue coat, making him look even weaker and weaker.The corners of the lips were a little raised, the jet-black broken hair just swept over the eyebrows, and the corners of a pair of gentle eyes drooped slightly.

He was concentrating on the hamburger right now, his slender fingers couldn't get past the wrapping paper, a little bit of salad dressing was stained, he naturally raised it to his lips and licked it off, without expression the whole time.

The hustle and bustle beside him suddenly disappeared, Ji Xiao stood there blankly, watching the boy eat half of the hamburger.He raised his eyes by chance, and happened to look at Ji Xiao's position.

Ji Xiao wanted to look away, but he didn't move in a strange way, and finally saw the front of this person - the facial features could only be said to be correct, but they matched together to make this person look good everywhere.

He quickly restrained himself when he raised his eyes, but Ji Xiao was swept away by that look, he had never felt like this before, as if his whole body was no longer under his control, he even had goose bumps on his back — pure excitement.

Ji Xiao walked out of the crowd with one hand and one foot, grabbed Zhai Xinen, and found that his voice was trembling when he opened his mouth: "The one next to you...the one in the blue coat, which department is it?"

Zhai Xinen bit the chicken wing and said indifferently, "Chu Lan from the Propaganda Department, the one who doesn't come to every meeting."

Ji Xiao blinked and couldn't hold back a word for a long time. Zhai Xinen saw it and laughed and teased him: "It looks good, isn't it? The mascot of the student union, it's a pity that it has an owner."

The small flame that had just ignited in his heart was extinguished unexpectedly, Ji Xiao's feet went limp, and he quickly supported the wall.

He heard the sound of a young heart breaking.