Long grass warbler flying

Later, when Chu Lan thought of the night when Ji Xiao confessed her sexual orientation to herself, she felt that it was full of illogical jumps.

First of all, he got angry because of an unimportant person, and Ji Xiao, who usually always thinks peace is the most important, can smile and keep silent and never take the initiative to explain to him for the first time.

Then came the night intoxicated by the spring breeze, the shadows of the trees whirling, the street lights dark, and the empty echoes from the basketball court.The teaching building is brightly lit, with a dry throat, and Ji Xiao's serious gaze.

Everything was too wrong. Chu Lan liked philosophy, so she was completely confused by this kind of development beyond reason.

He didn't speak for a long time, Ji Xiaoxian began to panic.He thought that Chu Lan couldn't accept it, so he struggled in the same place at a loss, and finally put his hands behind his back like a schoolboy punished to stand, and twisted and twisted, his joints rang several times, making it painful and refreshing, but He was still sad.

Ji Xiao's Adam's apple twitched slightly, and asked carefully, "...do you feel sick?"

Chu Lan seemed to be pulled back from outer space to the earth by his soft call, shivering, and belatedly blamed the temperature difference between day and night in Jincheng spring.He rubbed his nose and said in a low voice, "No, I'm surprised."

Ji Xiao: "..."

Chu Lan accidentally read the word "inferiority" from Ji Xiao's face, and immediately said: "I really don't feel disgusted, this is a very personal topic, if you can share it with me, it means that you regard me as a good friend ..."

Ji Xiao sighed, took a small step to the side, and looked away slightly.He didn't say anything.But Chu Lan suddenly felt like a stick in his throat, and interrupted the long speech on his own.

The class bell rang suddenly, but no one was in the mood to listen.

Chu Lan was flustered, he panicked instinctively about this kind of thing, and he didn't know what he was explaining - he didn't want to be hated by Ji Xiao, but he was indeed nervous.So Chu Lan gave up on herself, didn't plan to go back to continue her self-study, and had a showdown with Ji Xiao.He took three deep breaths and finally calmed down a bit.

"My mother studied a master's degree in applied psychology. She was very interested in it, and she has been studying since then." Chu Lan spoke slowly, and her mood slowly returned to her usual state. "One day, I I don’t know how to talk about this topic. She taught me that there is no difference between “mainstream” and “heresy” in sexual orientation, only the general public and the minority. Any orientation is respected and understood, so when encountering such My friend, he should be glad if he shares it with you—he does it out of trust in you."

Ji Xiao listened to him quietly, suddenly his eyes felt a little hot.

After discovering that his sexual orientation was different from ordinary people, he never took the initiative to tell anyone, and the ultimate thing he did was to admit it after being questioned.Of course he knew it was normal, but all his self-comfort was no match for Chu Lan's few words.

Even though Chu Lan was just talking, or really thought it was nothing, Ji Xiao still thought that Chu Lan caught him suddenly after he fell halfway through the broken pot.

So Ji Xiao nodded, trying his best to cover up his nasal sound and sobs: "Well, thank you."

Chu Lan was always very uncomfortable accepting gratitude. He couldn't say "you're welcome", so he had to say "um" awkwardly, wanting to change the topic, and suggested going back to class.

Ji Xiao suddenly asked like a psychopath: "Chu Lan, you see it so clearly, and you also respect and understand. Then if one day, the same sex confesses to you, what will you think? You will still feel disgusted."

Chu Lan shook her head and said, "I don't feel sick, but..."

will refuse.

He vaguely guessed something, but he didn't say anything that poked someone's heart.It was broken in half, and it seemed that the determination in front was extremely weak. He frowned, and then quickly raised his eyes to glance at Ji Xiao's expression.

Ji Xiao smiled wryly: "What do you see me doing?"

He seemed to be put on the trial court in an instant, and Chu Lan held the verdict in his hand, holding up his heart in a dangling manner.But a few words, either forever or earth-shaking, sounds vigorous.

However, the reality is always calm, Ji Xiao's heart beats like a drum, his mind goes blank, and he has already begun to regret it.He saw what Chu Lan was thinking, and when he looked over again, there was pity in his eyes.

Chu Lan's lips tightened and then released: "Ji Xiao, don't ask impossible things."

After saying this, he seemed unable to regain the calmness or comfort of the long speech just now, and fled in despair.Ji Xiao stayed where he was, he was abandoned for the second time in one day, but the situation was quite different.

He believed that Chu Lan was so smart that it was impossible not to understand. Chu Lan didn't pretend to be stupid or angry, and she was even amiable.But these words were indescribably harsher than ever before, sending Ji Xiao into hell.

It is clear that March has begun to warm up, but he is like falling into an ice cave.

Later, Chu Lan didn't talk to him in the evening self-study. Although he still sat in the same position, he didn't even give him half a look.For the rest of the days, they still got along day and night, but lost all communication.

Ji Xiao was too uncomfortable, mixed with regret and a lot of guilt, but Chu Lan...he was just too confused.

The arrival of the weekend is just enough to save the restless teenager.Fifth Middle School is a humane school, the closer it is to the third year of high school, the more relaxed it is. First of all, it canceled the make-up class on Saturday and changed it to self-study.But good students always have privileges, Chu Lan waited until Saturday, immediately applied for a leave of absence for Xiao Yingchun, and returned home as if fleeing.

Home is a safe haven for him, and his mother has become the existence that can appease everything.In the past few days, Chu Lan held back all his helplessness, pretended to be innocent, and suddenly collapsed after returning home.

As soon as he entered the door, Mrs. Chu Li Wenyin was turning on the TV, chatting with the guest sitting on the small sofa next to her.Chu Lan didn't know who was coming, so she put away the bag and went to have a look, but it was someone she hadn't seen for a long time.

There was a dull pain in his forehead, and his tone was not very good: "God is annoying, why are you here?"

Li Wenyin immediately criticized: "Your godmother asked Xiao Fan to bring over two bottles of wine—Student Xiao Chu, how old are you, and you always call people nicknames, can you talk?"

Classmate Xiao Chu snorted and poured a cup of tea. The girl on the sofa seized the time to stare at him when he turned his back.Chu Lan seemed to have eyes behind her back, and immediately turned her head. Before the other party's expression had time to manage, she immediately froze on a distorted anger——Chu Lan sullenly did not want to speak.

This girl's surname is Fan and her name is Fan, and the pronunciation is exactly the same.I don't know what the parents thought of giving such an unlucky name, and Chu Lan yelled it all the way into "God Annoyance".

To put it more artistically, Fan Fan is Chu Lan's childhood sweetheart.The fathers have a relationship with college friends, and the two have known each other since they were in elementary school.However, whether it is Chu Lan or Fan Fan, it seems that they are naturally ignorant, don't remember much about their childhood, they have reached a firm consensus, and feel that they are familiar with each other because they are in the same class in elementary school and junior high school.

Chu Lan doesn't have many friends, even fewer who can tell the truth, Ji Xiao is one, and Xin En is one, but he feels from the bottom of his heart that Fan Fan is the one he has trusted the most in the past ten years.

But now, he glanced at the coffee table, on which there were sliced ​​apples and freshly brewed black tea, deeply feeling that he was abandoned.Li Wenyin was very kind to Fan Fan. Because she liked her daughter, she accepted Fan Fan as her daughter-in-law.It just so happened that Fan Fan's mother—that is, Li Wenyin's college best friend—liked her son, so the two families were so close that Chu Lan also called Mrs. Fan "godmother".

He was not in the mood to worry about these insignificant things, so he simply picked up his tea and went back to the house.

As soon as Chu Lan sat down, her mind was in a mess.He tried in vain to sort out the clues, and then quickly drew up a plan so that he could face Ji Xiao normally in the few dozen days before graduation.

Halfway through the reasoning, I finally caught the sign, but there was a knock on the door.

Chu Lan is used to leaving the door of her room open during the day.Out of politeness and privacy, Li Wenyin usually didn't come in, and said anything at the door, so it could only be someone else who knocked on the door.

He turned his chair halfway and said angrily, "Come in."

Fan Fanben, who was standing outside, was polite to him, and slumped on a beanbag sofa in Chu Lan's room, not sitting up.

After so many years of tacit understanding, Chu Lan and she are used to despising each other.At this moment, his eyes swept over Fan Fan's splayed dead dog, and he reminded him: "Can you sit like a girl?"

Fan Fan said "Oh", changed his mind as he did, put his hands on his knees, and sank into the beanbag sofa.She has piercing eyes, she doesn't know how to talk to Chu Lan just for small talk, and immediately cut to the chase: "A Lan, are you unhappy?"

Chu Lan: "..."

Fan Fan: "Did someone bully you?"

It wasn't bullying either, Chu Lan lowered her eyelashes, Fan Fan thought he was acquiescing, and sighed: "Is there anything to bear with it, anyway, I'm about to graduate anyway, your temper..."

Seeing that she wanted the old lady possessed to say a [-]-word chant, Chu Lan interrupted, "No."

Fan Fan's eyes lit up: "Could it be that you finally got rid of Song Shiyong's shadow and decided to change your face and start a new life? Do you have someone you like again? Don't feel guilty, it's normal."

Chu Lan: "No."

Fan Fan boasted that his natal family cared more about his relationship status than anyone else.Probably remembering the love between Chu Lan and Song Shiyong that could be decorated with "appearance and detachment" and "existence in name" in the second half, Fan Fan said nervously: "...Son, you will not expand the scope of mate selection to another gender?"

She was whimsical, and just hit the sore spot. Chu Lan couldn't bear it anymore, and pointed to the door: "Get out."

Fan Fan: "I was wrong, please show mercy and satisfy my curiosity."

She expressed her gossip so sincerely that Chu Lan couldn't remember to refuse for a while.He began to think about where to start, as if all connected together, it was a very long story.

The afterglow of the spring day penetrated the window lattice, Chu Lan stared at a warm halo on the floor, recalling that night a few days ago, suddenly realized that he had known Ji Xiao for so long.

Chu Lan decided to start from the latest plot, and was about to make a long story short, but felt a little bit reluctant to "set the stage" for Ji Xiao's kindness to him.At this moment, he was filled with endless shame, for his own selfishness and for Ji Xiao.

"There is a boy in our class, he is... well, he is the same." Chu Lan finally got rid of the entanglement of his wife's benevolence, and said briefly, "I think he likes me."

Fan Fan was taken aback, and asked back, "What's the name of that one, Xinghe's?"

Chu Lan: "Jiang Xinghe—how do you even know about our school?"

Fan Fan: "It was just passed on a few days ago. Everyone is reviewing nervously now, and listen to some gossip as an adjustment. After all, the news of breaking girls' hearts like 'Fifth High School Grass is going to have a foundation' will not be seen again in a few years— -He likes you?"

"...No." Chu Lan reached out to pick up the cup, put the tea down just as the tea was brought to her mouth, "It's my roommate. I didn't think about that before, I thought he was nice, and I regarded him as a good friend. Jiang Xinghe When that happened, I thought it was wrong, but I still had the thought of 'I was thinking too much' about him."

Fan Fan listened attentively and felt that the following text would not be simple.

Chu Lan took a sip of the tea, and today's Kuding seemed to be particularly satisfying, and the astringency of the root of his tongue spread all the way to the bottom of his heart: "I actually wanted to avoid asking, but he immediately confessed his orientation to me."

Fan Fan: "Confession?"

Chu Lan shook her head: "No, but it was very close. I was afraid that he would really confess, so I ran away. Later, I didn't dare to talk to him, and I didn't dare to look directly at him. He probably likes me, but I don't know what to do , can only escape temporarily."

Fan Fan held his chin and said, "Could it be that you are thinking too much?"

"He...he helped me wash my school uniform, and when I go to school, I will buy breakfast in advance-I don't like breakfast, you know-I usually borrow his essay notes, he is good at math, and the topics are clear. In winter, I can’t get up in the morning, and he will yell several times. Sometimes when I go back to the dormitory late at night, he will fetch hot water for me…”

Under Fan Fan's ambiguous gaze, Chu Lan sighed as if giving up: "He is really good to me."

So these fragments are scattered in daily life, seeming to be insignificant, and the ubiquitous "good" put together after careful calculation, methodically piece together the truth that Chu Lan is ashamed of.

He covered his face with his hands, in a very fragile posture: "I really don't know what to do..."

He still cherishes the friendship with Ji Xiao, but what if this friendship has long since changed?

If you can hide from the first day of the junior high school but not the fifteenth day, how can Chu Lan get past this page?

Even if they graduated in embarrassment and never saw each other again, in his long life, if he remembered that this matter was still pending, would he really have no regrets?

It was the first time in her life that she knew that she would still be liked by the same sex. Chu Lan felt a pain in her throat at first, and then she was at a loss.

If it were someone else, maybe he would just sneer, leave a "fuck off" with any iceberg face in front of people, and then never see each other again, and even pretend not to know each other when they meet by chance, taking this as a certain adjustment in life.

But it happened to be Ji Xiao.

Chu Lan felt that he was about to die from a headache.

The author has something to say:

This is not the most abusive one... the most abusive one will be sweet after chapter 18~