if you serious you lose

When Qin Jie returned home, what kept reappearing in his mind was the scene of Yan Zhilu slamming the curtains at the end. For some reason, this action made him hard to let go.

Qin Jie felt guilty that he still had doubts in his heart when he was silently spying on his lover and friends. The two were obviously people he liked and admired, and besides, they were also old friends who had known each other for many years.

Then why when he saw Yan Zhili quickly draw the curtains, he would have a feeling of being forcibly cut out, that kind of rejection, making him feel as if he had never stepped into the "relaxing worries", never been in that room Chatted with the gentle boss in the tea room.

He felt anger and hatred in that action. Although he couldn't see the face clearly at the time, the expression on the face of the person in Qin Jie's mind was clear, indifferent, and gloomy. When this person heard those lies from his mouth, he would also have such an expression on his face, and Qin Jie felt very strange and disturbed by such a law of words full of negative energy and himself who had such conjectures.

Feeling this way again, Qin Jie sat on the sofa, clasping his hands against his forehead, which reminded him of the scene after his unexpected reunion with Yan Zhilu.

If we say that when we met Yan Zhili at the beginning, because of the prejudice against his identity and background, he felt that his frequent contact with him was nothing more than a whim, and in the end he just patted his ass and left when he had enough fun, and he just echoed and responded politely, Then the later development was because Qin Jie discovered his own prejudice, and no longer resisted the approach of the law of words, but was willing to take the initiative to respond to the other party's overtures.

Therefore, even if the vague uneasiness appeared from time to time later, Qin Jie would no longer blame it on Yan Zhilv, but self-reflection, maybe he hadn't been in love for too long, he became a little cowardly, and he might have made a mistake in the past when he invested too much It was an old problem that the other party had no time to respond to, so the only solution he could think of was to muster up the courage to get back to his former self.

After thinking about it, Qin Jie found that he still didn't draw any useful conclusions. He was not good at this kind of self-entanglement. The already depressed mood became more uncomfortable.

He couldn't stand himself like this more and more, and there was only one thought left in his mind, to call Yan Zhilv.

Listening to the female voice on the phone that reminded that the phone was turned off, Qin Jie's thoughts that had been quiet just now flew up again. Although the two of them did not often communicate by phone, in the past six months, they have never encountered Yan Zhili's phone turned off. when.

When a person is planted with a seed of doubt, any disturbance will only make it grow rapidly. Qin Jie has just experienced a person's ineffective thinking. He doesn't want to doubt any more, so he picks up his coat and puts on Scarf, and ran directly to the place that I couldn't step into in the afternoon.

On the commercial street in downtown S in the evening, amidst the colorful neon lights, there is a dark and unremarkable signboard. A tall figure in a long gown with a silver frame is looking up at the signboard. The words on it seem to be able to read the ten thousand-character motto from the simple word "releasing worries". Occasionally there are passers-by on the side of the road who cast amazed eyes, and occasionally there are idlers who stop to admire, but for this man with a temperament that is incompatible with this place, he is like a wooden man. Standing still, everyone just left with a puzzled look.

Wearing an ivory white silk gown, he looked colder and colder in this cold night. From a distance, Qin Jie was reminded of the feeling of time travel when he first visited the tea room on the second floor by this familiar back.

Following the direction where Lin Yuan looked up, Qin Jie squinted his eyes and saw clearly that it was the signboard of the shop. He remembered that it was a black wooden board, but it was trimmed into an irregular board shape, and there seemed to be some patterns on it. It is hung loosely in front of the store by an iron chain. When the wind blows, the wood will hit the pillars behind it. The sound of the wood colliding makes Qin Jie think of the crisp sound of monks knocking on wooden fish in temples. Back then, he That's how I was drawn into this humble shop.

At this moment, Qin Jie couldn't hear the ethereal melody swaying from that ancient signboard again, but because he was standing far away, he found that the surrounding environment was so clear, and everyone was wearing modern and convenient clothes just like himself, walking in a hurry. Walking slowly, even if such an outstanding person appeared beside him, everyone just waited and watched, but had no intention of approaching him.

It's not like the feeling of time travel like last time, but an illusion of parallel time and space.

At this moment, Qin Jie seemed to suddenly understand why Lin Yuan had an aura of isolation from the world, not only because he separated himself from this prosperous world, but also because people in society, including himself, also chose to stay away from him .

Qin Jie is not a liberal arts student, and he has always felt that what he is engaged in is the most realistic economic research. He only knows a little about poetry and poetry, but he can't understand it.

But now, looking at the thinly dressed Lin Yuan standing in the cold wind for a long time, he suddenly remembered a poem: "Who is there over there, Wang Qing don't ask each other. September dew on the body, waiting for you at dusk. "

The season might not be right, but this desolate scene made Qin Jie feel that he understood this famous line for the first time. He seemed to have forgotten the excitement and negative emotions when he came here, and he seemed to understand something happily. He walked towards Lin Yuan step by step.

"It's so cold at night, why don't you wear a coat when you come out?"

Qin Jie patted Lin Yuan's shoulder lightly. Seeing that he was not frightened, but looked sideways at him slightly, he smiled and took off his coat and put it on for him.

"I don't feel cold, and I'm not afraid of cold, but thank you."

Qin Jie felt that Lin Yuan seemed to know that he would come, and he didn't show any surprise at all. Although the gentle and elegant smile was still there, the mole at the corner of his eye that often jumped out of the mirror frame because of the smile did not appear at this moment.

"Qin Jie, you haven't been here for a long time, come up and have a seat."

After finishing speaking, Lin Yuan gathered the coat on his body, and he smelled a refreshing smell, but with a warm temperature, he tightened his arms again, and walked into the teahouse.

Qin Jie, who followed behind, took off the scarf, and followed Lin Yuan to the tea room on the second floor. After the door was pushed open, it was pitch black. He thought that Lin Yuan would turn on the light the next moment, but he saw him When he went straight to the window, Qin Jie's heart jumped wildly, and the mood that had settled down downstairs seemed to be agitated again.

Lin Yuan groped around the window for a while, and then heard the sound of automatic operation of the machine. Qin Jie was surprised to find that the antique tea room was actually equipped with automatic curtains.

"Think it's strange? The only window and curtain in my teahouse have not been changed, so it was left by the previous owner. However, some people are very rude. They know it is automatic, but they forcefully pull it with their hands. Fortunately It's not bad. Otherwise, I wouldn't let him off easily."

Ever since he knew Lin Yuan, Qin Jie had never heard such a tone from his mouth. There was a hint of anger in the complaint, but when he thought of what he saw in the afternoon, he still heard a sense of intimacy.

The artificial lighting outside the window successfully made the room no longer dark. Only then did Lin Yuan return to the door and turn on the light, calling Qin Jie to sit down.

"This store was operated by someone else before? This is the first time I've heard of it."

Lin Yuan looked up at Qin Jie who was sitting across from him, then lowered his head and started cleaning the tea set to make tea, while explaining to him.

"Well, this used to be a bar. About four years ago, the owner of the bar went abroad, so I bought it. But I don't know how to drink, so I opened a teahouse as I wanted. Think about your first It looks like the first time I’ve come here, it’s really weird that I’m opening a teahouse here, isn’t it?”

"It turns out that's the case. No wonder I said that I can come across a teahouse in the bar street. It's so weird, it's better to say that it's a "big hermit hidden in the city". I've always been very glad that I could walk in here. You, I probably won't stay, let alone the joy of drinking tea."

Recalling the friction between himself and Yan Zhilu after he stepped into this store, Qin Jie once again lamented the fate. The person who had such a bad impression at the beginning turned out to be his lover, which also made him more interested in Lin Yuan's appearance. Grateful, if it wasn't for him, I would have left long ago.

"You are worthy of being a teacher, and you speak so well of me. But Qin Jie, I am not as noble and indifferent as you think. It is not my credit for you to come here and understand the law of words, but your fate. Just a witness."

Lin Yuan felt uncomfortable. When Qin Jie reappeared in the teahouse, he remembered the figure under the street lamp in the afternoon. He didn't stop Yan Zhilv's subconscious evasion and lying, and he didn't remind them afterwards. Maybe the gap will be widened a little bit like this. Lin Yuan never thought that he would become such a person one day.

Therefore, when this pure-tempered man in front of him greeted him like a warm spring breeze and put on his coat, the sourness invaded his whole body more deeply than warmth, making him feel cold.

Guilt, of course he would have such a mood, but Lin Yuan couldn't control his jealousy towards Qin Jie. He had too much beauty in him, and he knew it already. From the first time he saw him, his appearance, his His temperament is familiar to him, and it is expected that Yan Zhili will like him as much as himself.

However, being together seriously, falling in love?

Lin Yuan couldn't accept it. He should be the same as before, but he was looking for a shadow, fragmented fragments, and then pieced together the ideal look in his heart just like himself. Even the law of words has always been more casual. Proper, in distinguishing between true love and substitution.

So, in the end, I will still be with myself, warming each other, comforting each other, and waiting for an illusory result.

All the cognitions that are taken for granted are broken today, no, maybe earlier, so he will take the initiative to call Yan Zhili and ask him to come and see him. No change.

However, he failed. He dug his own grave, lured wolves into the house, deceived himself and others, and suffered on his own. Lin Yuan thought of many, many idioms, and he felt that he couldn't stop. While whipping himself to his heart's content, he still resisted the reality.

Qin Jie was a little surprised. Lin Yuan, who had always been calm and beautiful when making tea, was shaking slightly at this time. When the tea leaves were scooped out from the tea pot, a lot of them were spilled on the tea table. When the sound of opening sounded, Lin Yuan immediately stretched out his hand to the kettle.

"Lin Yuan, be careful!"