if you serious you lose

Walking into the bathroom, Qin Jie took a cold shower.

Years of overseas life experience has made him somewhat "foreign style". It has become a habit to take a cold shower after waking up, to exercise regularly, or to sunbathe by the sea.

Therefore, compared to the slender and fair young man seven years ago, Qin Jie now has a firm and slender body with wheat-colored skin, and smooth and unexaggerated muscle lines attached to the smooth skin, revealing implicitly The masculinity of the body master.

What hasn't changed over the years is that gentle face with a gentle smile.

This face was once praised by Qin Jie's first love because of that pure and beautiful temperament.

At that time, Qin Jie was slightly thin and thin, and his beautiful appearance made him more neutral than ordinary boys. However, the firm side of his character made Qin Jie somewhat inferior to his appearance, and also made him be attracted by that Different from himself, attracted by boys with rough appearance and masculinity, soon the two quietly talked about campus romance.

Later, the other party chose to go to a university in another city, and fell in love with a senior sister who was not only pure and charming in appearance, but also mature in connotation. Qin Jie therefore traveled between the two cities for love, trying to save it, but in the end he also lost to the girl of different genders. rival in love.

After all, Qin Jie also thinks that the senior sister is too good and suitable for his first love, and when he thinks about homosexuality and heterosexuality, the latter is a "promising" path. In the end, he also fulfilled the other party and ended his first love.

This relationship lasted for three years, from the sophomore year to the freshman year.

In fact, Qin Jie still remembered the anxiety and uneasiness when he first confirmed that the object of his heart was a man, and he could also recall the joy and shyness when the man he liked praised him.

And when I was told that my boyfriend fell in love with a woman and wanted to break up with me, the heartache I felt when I was told, or when I traveled to another city, but saw my boyfriend’s disappointed expression because he was rejected by a woman, even my own feeling of powerlessness. In the end, I took the initiative to say the feeling of relief when I broke up with my boyfriend, but I didn't completely forget it.

But for Qin Jie, these seemingly complex and diverse feelings can only be summarized into something called "first love" when he thinks about it now.

After the end of the first relationship, Qin Jie returned to university life.

Qin Jie is a person with a pleasing personality. Such a person is generally popular, so he soon has a bunch of buddies.

He joined the school club and his life was even more colorful, but in the second semester of his sophomore year, a handsome man from the School of Mathematics caught his attention during a school's cross-collegiate fellowship activity.

Qin Jie, who studies economics, has always suffered from the fact that his mathematics is not good enough. You must know that in order to make achievements in economics, it is ultimately dependent on the foundation of mathematics, especially in the sophomore and junior years, more and more mathematics-related subjects are bothering Qin Jie , holding the instinctive respect for the students of the Academy of Mathematics, Qin Jie is very much looking forward to making friends with a few good math buddies in this fellowship so that he can seek guidance and help.

On the other hand, Qin Jie's liking for the same sex is basically public in the circle of friends. After the end of the first love, although the friends who value friendship have different sexual orientations, they all help Qin Jie keep an eye on the partner.

Therefore, although Qin Jie did not go for this friendship as a relationship, his buddies secretly arranged a partner, and this partner was the beautiful high-achieving student of the Academy of Mathematics——Xia Yuan.

Xia Yuan was noticed by Qin Jie's buddies because Xia Yuan is also a person whose sexuality has been disclosed, and his first love experience is similar to Qin Jie's.

Xia Yuan and his high school first love and Qin Jie's good buddy Li Zi are high school classmates, so, knowing that Xia Yuan broke up with his first love, Li Zi naturally came up with the idea of ​​matching Xia Yuan and Qin Jie.

Therefore, together with other buddies, they arranged the friendship between the School of Economics and Management and the Academy of Mathematics, and Xia Yuan, as a student cadre of the Academy of Mathematics, would naturally appear in this networking event.

Qin Jie really started to fall in love with Xia Yuan in his junior year.

After the friendship, he did succeed in making Xia Yuan a friend, and after learning about Li Zi's plan, he also openly and honestly explained his sexuality to Xia Yuan.

But neither of them has that kind of fiery personality, and they both experienced a sad first love, so they naturally started dating as ordinary friends.

During his junior year, Qin Jie often asked Xia Yuan for advice on math problems.

Qin Jie also began to be fascinated by Xia Yuan's teaching attitude that never lost his patience and his clear and logical mind.

But this time, he didn't dare to act too rashly, so he started a secret love.

Until one time when friends organized a mountain climbing activity, a group of people planned to camp and stay on the mountain for one night, so Qin Jie and Xia Yuan were naturally separated to sleep together.

After half a year of unrequited love, Qin Jie found that he liked Xia Yuan more and more, and when they slept together, seeing Xia Yuan's pretty face unexpectedly caused a physiological reaction.

So, the next day, he confessed his love, and to his surprise, Xia Yuan also agreed.

The two started dating smoothly.

After dating, Qin Jie is like a spring breeze, living in a sweet and happy state of mind every day.

The brothers headed by Li Zi are very proud of the good red line they hold.

Soon, Qin Jie and Xia Yuan, a same-sex couple with good looks who didn't intend to hide it, became popular all over the campus, and some people even posted photos of the two on the Internet.

Although this was not in line with the character of the person involved, and the two of them were even troubled by it for a time, Qin Jie, who was in love, still acquiesced in being watched by the crowd, and would silently like the photos of himself and Xia Yuan.

However, gradually, being sensitive by nature, he found that Xia Yuan was too calm and mature for this relationship.

The so-called calmness, maybe at first it was because Xia Yuan's character was originally cold, and this was also his charm that attracted Qin Jie.

That beautiful face is always so indifferent, but when she smiles, she responds with a shallow but touching arc.

Those big eyes would even bend into crescents after he said something funny, which was really alluring to Qin Jie.

But that's all there is to it.

Qin Jie's joys, anger, sorrows and joys are all revealed in front of Xia Yuan, and Xia Yuan is always the recipient, he listens to Qin Jie's life, comforts Qin Jie, everything makes Qin Jie more and more inseparable from him, At the same time, he also wanted to know more about Xia Yuan, and even had the idea of ​​wanting to be with Xia Yuan for the rest of his life.

So, after learning that Xia Yuan decided to stay in the school, Qin Jie resolutely gave up applying to study abroad and began to prepare for the domestic postgraduate entrance examination, which made his parents very puzzled.

As for Xia Yuan, after knowing all this, he analyzed the pros and cons for Qin Jie. For example, he kept his postgraduate education because his family conditions did not allow him to go abroad, and he also wanted to stay in school to study as a teacher in the future.

In addition, Qin Jie's economics major is more competitive after studying abroad, and the information resources there are more developed.

Qin Jie agreed with all of these, but in the end he found that the relationship between the two was not included in all the reasons given by the mature Xia Yuan.

It was the first time that Qin Jie realized that he might care more about the investment ratio of this relationship than he imagined. Obviously, Xia Yuan didn't care as much as he did, at least, he didn't show it.

Therefore, he directly told Xia Yuan that he actually hoped to develop in China, and also hoped that the two could stay together for a long time and give up studying abroad.

Even today, it is hard for Qin Jie to forget Xia Yuan's expression after hearing these words. It was a kind of panic, bewilderment, and guilt that he had never felt before.

Xia Yuan said that he never thought about the future of the two of them, he just thought that this is enough now, besides, Qin Jie gave up going abroad for himself, which was really unacceptable to him, and he didn't want himself to hinder Qin Jie.

In fact, at the end, Qin Jie understood the fundamental problem when he saw Xia Yuan who had never spoken so fast at one time.

Xia Yuan felt the pressure because of his "excessive" dedication and caring. The reason why he felt excessive was because Qin Jie was not in Xia Yuan's future plan.

However, Qin Jie really didn't want to give up just like that, so he still gave up going abroad, and then started looking for a job, and also told Xia Yuan that all this had nothing to do with him, they continued their love relationship, but the work was purely his own Ambition is not academic.

Xia Yuan also compromised in the end. After all, Qin Jie's personality and interpersonal skills may indeed be more suitable for employment.

Just when everything seemed to be back to normal, Xia Yuan's first love appeared. The first love whom Xia Yuan hadn't contacted after graduating from high school, a man named Gao Ling, came to this city after several years of military life. .

Qin Jie looked at this tough and masculine man, and then looked at Xia Yuan's appearance of fainting at any time, he knew that the peace between the two of them during this time was just a whitewash, and this man was the one who Xia Yuan could not devote himself to. The real reason for the relationship.

Those who were calm and mature turned into excitement and awkwardness in front of Gao Ling.

In his senior year, Qin Jie was busy with his internship, but he also tried his best to accompany Xia Yuan. He only hoped that he would not lose without a fight in this love rival competition.

However, Xia Yuan is Xia Yuan after all, even though he can no longer be so calm in the face of Gao Ling, he still recognizes that feelings cannot be forced due to his rational nature.

He likes Qin Jie, but he can't love Qin Jie like Gao Ling, so he took the initiative to break up and told Qin Jie his true heart.

Qin Jie, on the occasion of graduation, fell in love again.

In the days that followed, he still paid attention to Xia Yuan and Gao Ling, thinking that as long as the two did not really get back together, he still had hope. In the end, what was waiting was the reunion of the two.

So, this time, he chose to go abroad and leave for seven years.

Opening his eyes, Qin Jie no longer recalled the scene in his dream. It had been three days since he returned home, and his things were almost packed. The jet lag caused him to fall into a coma for two days. He seemed to have recovered some energy, but the side effects It just made him have many dreams about the past.

Opening the corners of his mouth, Qin Jie thought bitterly, the few years of abstinent life abroad have made him hardly dream about anything related to love.

As a result, as soon as he returned to the country, he fell in love with the scene, and he began to doubt whether it was right to go back to the country. Although he no longer minded his first love, and had already let go of Xia Yuan, he might still have expectations for love. Is this a good thing? He couldn’t tell Have an answer yourself.