The days when you can only be full by becoming an internet celebrity

In the Internet age, there are not a few people who come to vent their anger through the screen.

Lu Qi also received some malicious comments, but he never paid attention to those irrelevant things.But this blogger is different. The "monster zone" he commented on has already violated the confidentiality agreement for the existence of monsters and humans in the world.

As a monster, the concept I have accepted since childhood is to guard my identity as a monster.Although "Mountain Man" was popular because of cursing, it is hard to guarantee that no one will pay attention to his words.Lu Qi followed his Weibo and clicked in, wanting to see if he could find any clues.Looking at the Weibo of people in the mountains, almost all of them are insults.

Lu Qi frowned and looked at those remarks such as "Your mother exploded", "Stupid X", "It deserves it", and felt more and more that this monster's painting style was weird.The other party is very hostile, but he still pays attention to privacy. The information is blank and there are no photos. It is impossible to guess who he is based on a Weibo account.

Qi Xiuqi went back to the room with the director to watch the scene just now, and when he turned around, he saw the male lead of the MV sitting in front of the fireplace in a daze.He stepped forward and sat next to Lu Qi: "Are you still used to going up the mountain?"

Hearing the sound, Lu Qi quit the Weibo page, turned over the phone and put it in his pocket, tilted his head at Qi Xiuqi and smiled: "Well, the food on the mountain is delicious, I like it very much."

After all, Lu Qi, no matter what he does, he always thinks about food first.Qi Xiuqi didn't know why, but he came to this realization, raised the corners of his mouth and laughed, and suddenly thought of something, so he changed the subject: "Didn't I tell you before? There is no need to rush to pay back the money. And haven't you already called me once this month? Called me again, do you still have money? "

"Hit again?" Lu Qi was a little dazed, and thought about it carefully, "No, I hit once this month."

"Yes." Qi Xiuqi said confidently, and then added, "It was called from your account, but the remittance message said his surname was Jin..."

Surname Jin?

Jin Tian asked Lu Qi for a bank card, but Lu Qi thought that he wanted to buy something and had no money, so he gave him both the card and the password.Unexpectedly, not only did he not swipe the card, but he also transferred money into it. This kid is a bit interesting.

Lu Qi came back to his senses, and explained to Qi Xiuqi: "Jin Tian is my cousin, Brother Qi, you should have seen his photo on my Weibo."

Qi Xiuqi has followed less than [-] people in total, and he can naturally see Lu Qi's Weibo.From Lu Qi to his two cousins, all of them are outstanding.Sometimes Qi Xiuqi couldn't help thinking that Lu Qi's family really had strong genes.Speaking of cousin, Qi Xiuqi naturally thought of such a white and clean little bun, and couldn't help asking Lu Qi: "Is Lu Er still in his hometown now? When will you come to Dongcheng again?"

"He, he should come to play again." Lu Qi casually found a reason, and said vaguely, "He is also at the age of school, and the various cram schools that he applied for before are all being tested, and he is busy."

"Little cousin is very busy."

"Yes." Lu Qi nodded in agreement.

As a little monster who went to the demon world for the first time, Earmouse not only has all-round development of morality, intelligence, body and beauty, but also passes various exams in the demon world-such as the supplementary certificate of legal becoming a spirit, the resident ID card of the demon world, and the new human world. residence permit.Thinking about it this way, it's really not much easier than the children in the human world.

Qi Xiuqi was talking to Lu Qi, and for some reason, he remembered the egg he had given him before, and asked by accident, "Did you eat the ostrich egg you received last time?"

"That egg," Lu Qi naturally didn't know that the person in front of him was the egg delivery person, he just said half-truth, "The egg has been stored for too long, and there will be problems if you eat it, so let him go It's..."

At night, it was very windy outside.

Lu Qi was lying quietly with the quilt rolled up, the room was warm, and he was hungry when he was lying down.When he ate a pot of Wotou for dinner, everyone looked at him in shock. Lu Qi was afraid of shocking them, so he could only eat something.Now it was midnight, and everyone else was almost asleep, so he couldn't be ashamed to ask for food anymore.

Spicy crayfish, small octopus balls, crispy fried chicken cutlet... Lu Qi thought about the food while thinking about it, trying to give himself some sense of satisfaction, but in fact he was even hungrier.

Lu Qi, who had been self-hypnotized for a long time without any results, was hesitating whether to pick up his own snacks to eat, when suddenly he heard a commotion outside.Not long after, someone yelled: "Bring the guy, that wild boar is coming again!"

boar?The meat is tough but not sticky, fragrant but not greasy. The meat is steamed, fried and stewed, and the bones are used to cook ribs. Pig blood, pig liver, and pig farm are all good things to eat.

Lu Qi immediately took off the quilt, put on his shoes, and ran out in a hurry.At night, the wind and snow were heavy, and the pavement of snowflakes blocked people's sight.Within a few seconds after Lu Qi went out, his head and body turned white.Several old and young men who were originally stationed, some were picking up shovels, and some were holding wooden sticks. As for the guy they just mentioned, they should be referring to the shotgun in the leader's hand.

Not far away, a red wild boar-like animal was fleeing out dragging a bag of stored dried meat.I don't know whether the shotgun was in disrepair or the shotgun was troublesome, but the gun didn't fire, and it didn't cause any substantial damage to the wild boar.

Seeing that his stewed pork ribs with kelp and stir-fried large intestines with green peppers were about to run out of sight dragging the food, Lu Qi ran after the fugitive without thinking.No one saw it. On a snowy night, a teenager chased a red wild boar and ran across the forest, sea and snowfield.

The wild boar ran like a snail, but in Lu Qi's eyes, its speed was like a snail walking.When the red pig saw Lu Qi standing in front of him, his feet were in a mess, he couldn't hold back his figure and ran over, fell on the snow with a plop, half of his body plunged into the snow.

Lu Qi looked at the wild boar staring at its hind legs indiscriminately, thought for a while, and then stepped forward, pulled one of its hind legs and pulled it out.With just one glance, Lu Qi discovered that this pig-like thing with a red body was not a pig at all, it was obviously mountain paste.

"I got an X! Why is I so unlucky?" Shan Yao couldn't help cursing, and when he took a photo with Lu Qi, his legs softened and he knelt down on the ground, "Oh, I Go, sir, I just posted a comment on Weibo, why did you find me so quickly?"

Lu Qi was just thinking of catching a pig to fill his stomach, but he didn't expect that the other party would not call himself, it was a windfall.Since it is the cream of the essence, Lu Qi naturally has to check it routinely: "Is there a license to become an essence?"

"Yes, yes." With both hooves together, Shan Yao handed Lu Qi a license to become an elite, and said tremblingly, "Sir, this is my license to become an elite."

"What about the temporary residence permit in the human world?"

"Oh, I accidentally forgot to take out..."

"Keep your mouth clean." Lu Qi glanced at Shan Yao's temporary residence permit, frowned and said, "There are still six days to expire, if you don't go back within a few days..."

Shan Yao trembled, raised her head and said to Lu Qi: "It's not that I don't want to go back, but that I can't go back."

Shan Gao is a monster born and raised in Impression Mountain, and has lived for more than 600 years.Shan Yao looks like a pig, and loves to swear at people, but because of the distance from humans, this habit is nothing.However, since Impression Mountain was developed into a tourist attraction and connected to the Internet, Shan Gao, who accidentally came into contact with the Internet world, completely let himself go.

It was also at that time that the mountain paste returned. Compared with human beings, his so-called fondness for swearing is all pediatrics.Humans are really amazing creatures. In reality, they are well-dressed and polite.On the Internet, after taking off the mask of shame, many N people speak dirty words, try to figure out other people's hearts with the greatest malice, and curse people who have nothing to do with them with the most vicious words.

Shan Gao wanders in the ocean of the Internet, marveling at its multi-faceted nature, and eagerly absorbing the essence of human cursing.At first, Shanyou just watched silently, but gradually, he also started typing on the keyboard, making a voice on the Internet——

The girl was raped, and Shan Gao imitated others, saying that the girl must be indiscreet.It's just that Shan Yao doesn't know what it means to check the point.

The doctor was hacked to death, and Shan Gao imitated others, saying that there must be something wrong with the doctor.It's just that there is something wrong with the doctor, and he doesn't know about Shan Gao.

……

Shan Gao made more and more speeches, and the ways of cursing people also diversified.But Shan Gao suddenly realized that he was not happy.Why does the ancestor love to swear, so he must inherit this trait?Why can't he be like others, a normal monster who quietly shares his daily life and enjoys a quiet time?

Wanting to become civilized has become Shan Gao's dream, a heart disease, and an obsession.

Obviously thinking of going to Lu Qi for help, but under Lu Qi's Weibo, Shan Gao still couldn't control herself, and typed out malicious words.

The Keyboard Man Lu Qi has encountered many times, but this is the first time he has encountered a Keyboard Man monster.

With the license to become a fine man, this mountain paste is naturally not edible.Fortunately, there is still a chance to earn a commission as extra money.

When Lu Qi asked Shan Yao to go back with him, Shan Gao was overjoyed at first, and said: "Sir, you are really a good person..." When receiving Lu Qi's eye knife, Shan Gao silently closed his mouth .Even if you want to take it back, Shan Gao naturally cannot appear in front of others in a pig-like image.As soon as he transformed, he turned into a young man in his early twenties, wearing thick fur and flamboyant red hair.

When the two were walking back, when they passed the big hole made by the mountain paste, Lu Qi fished it out casually, and pulled out a frozen chicken from inside.He put the chicken into Shan Yao's arms and warned him not to think about the chicken.Shan Yao hugged the chicken while swallowing her saliva.By the time the two of them returned to their residence, the sky had already begun.Someone came out to clear the snow, so Lu Qi asked Shan Gao to send the chicken over, saying that the young man picked up the chicken on the road, and sent it over immediately.

No one knows how Lu Qi met this young man in fur and red hair.In the end, he sent the chicken back with good intentions, and the snow is so heavy, it is not easy to drive people away directly.Before Shan Gao entered the door, she couldn't help but look back at the chicken.Perhaps it was covered in heat, but the chicken had already woken up, chirping and calling with other chickens.I don't know if I will share my frightful night with my companions.

Qi Xiuqi woke up early and didn't see Lu Qi for a long time. He was talking to the staff to look for him, but the man was already facing the cold wind and pushed the door open.And behind Lu Qi, a young man with a cool look looked around, his eyes fell on Qi Xiuqi's face, and he stopped still.

Without waiting for Lu Qi's introduction, Shan Yao went straight forward and said to Qi Xiuqi, "I recognize you, the king of mankind. You seem to be much more handsome than before. You must have plastic surgery."

The author has something to say: Shan Gao [Huan] is a mythical beast in Shan Hai Jing, with red hair like a pig, who likes to swear [Hahaha, this hobby is simple, and it feels like honey].