dreamer

"Changsi, what's wrong with you?"

"No, nothing."

"Why are you so scared?"

"I'm afraid I'm going to lose you."

"Oh, how could it be? I can't see anyone except Changsi."

"But what if one day I'm gone?"

"Not anymore?"

"leave here."

"where to?"

"a place far away."

"...Then I'll go with you."

"What if you can't go?"

"Then I'll wait for your return."

"What if I don't come back?"

"Then I'll go find you."

"What if you can't find me?"

"Then I'll keep looking. No matter where I go, I'll definitely find you."

"Wei Xi..."

"Changsi... Ji Changsi..."

There is a call from the distant sky.

Ji Changsi opened his eyes suddenly, panting heavily, as if he had just woken up from a dream.

Wei Xi, who was still in front of his eyes, disappeared, replaced by Ji Ziyang and Xu Fei who were looking at him with concern.

Then he saw the woman who called him Wei Xi before.

"Do not…"

"Is that you? Ji Changsi?"

Ji Ziyang in front of him kept asking, and after receiving Ji Changsi's confirmation-like response, he pressed his shoulder.

"Don't be afraid, calm down, look at me," Ji Ziyang tried his best to pass Ji Changsi's body, letting him look into his eyes, "Tell me, do you know who I am?"

Ji Changsi's heart was in a mess, and even his body couldn't stop shaking.He looked at Ji Ziyang inexplicably, his lips were fighting, "Ji, Ji Ziyang... what are you trying to do? Don't touch me, let me go!"

"Calm down, don't be afraid, tell me, can you see them?"

Ji Ziyang pointed to Xu Fei and Wei Xi's mother behind them and asked.

Ji Changsi looked at the woman, then lowered his head and bit his lips, got up and wanted to break free from Ji Ziyang's restraint, "...let me go!"

But obviously such a struggle was useless, Xu Fei helped Ji Ziyang press him on the sofa, obviously it was a very compulsory action, but everyone's eyes showed a trace of resentment.

"Calm down! I have something to tell you," Ji Ziyang frowned, and finally softened his tone, "I won't hurt you, don't be afraid."

Ji Changsi bit his lip and looked at him, his eyes filled with the old hostility.

"She is Wei Xi's mother."

But obviously Ji Ziyang didn't care about Ji Changsi's gaze, he just pointed to the woman standing aside, then turned his head to look at Ji Changsi sadly and continued to ask, "Isn't this the first time you've seen her?"

Ji Changsi pursed his lips. He vaguely felt that he knew something, but it was something he didn't want to know, and he didn't want to hear it at all.

"Let me go, I don't want to see you, let me go!"

Ji Ziyang paused, and said to him in a deep voice with some difficulty, "Changsi, don't you really want to know who you are?"

"do not talk…"

"Tell me, can you see Wei Xi now?"

"I do not want to hear…"

"Actually, Wei Xi has always been by your side."

"do not talk…"

"Actually, you've been together."

"Please stop talking..."

Ji Changsi frowned, and there was a trace of sourness in his eyes, but he desperately swallowed the liquid in his eyes into his stomach.

"In fact, for a long time, many things you have seen are not real. They only exist in the mind of your body, including some people, some things, and even... including yourself."

Ji Ziyang said so, and stretched out a hand to him, "Don't you really want to see your real self?"

Ji Changsi looked at the hand in front of him, and then at Ji Ziyang in front of him, his sad eyes were like a silent begging, begging him not to be so cruel.

However, Ji Ziyang's next sentence blocked his last chance of luck.

"You will hurt Wei Xi if you continue like this."

Ji Changsi stared in shock, and a helpless entanglement appeared on his face.

He rubbed his head and thought for a long time, finally pushed away Ji Ziyang's hand slowly, stood up from the sofa unsteadily, and walked slowly to the bathroom.

Ji Ziyang and Xu Fei looked at each other, but neither of them moved, they just stared at the lonely figure, their eyes full of sadness and pity.

The back looked a little sad, like a prisoner walking towards the execution ground, and what awaited him was a fatal gunshot.

Then Ji Changsi saw the face that appeared in the mirror.

After lifting the veil of illusion, he finally saw himself and saw him.

It turned out that Ji Ziyang really didn't lie to him. In fact, Wei Xi was really here and was with him all the time.

In the past, he always felt lonely when he couldn't see Wei Xi, but now he didn't feel lonely anymore, because he felt that he was right there, on his chest, and he could even feel Wei Xi's heart, It was also a heart-wrenching pain.

The face in the mirror was crying, and it just looked at itself intently, crying so desperately and hysterically.

Just like Ji Changsi standing in front of the mirror, his whole soul seemed to be torn apart, and the originally pretty face would show such an embarrassing and out-of-shape expression.

Now, Ji Changsi finally understood what was going on with those mysteries that could not be solved for a long time.

He stretched out his hand and touched the cold mirror, as if touching himself, but also as if touching a loved one.

Because at this moment, this seemed to be the only way to touch him again.

He wanted to tell Wei Xi before that he always thought he was very good-looking.

But now he didn't need to tell Wei Xi anymore, because the face reflected in the mirror belonged to him and was exactly the same as Wei Xi.

Ji Changsi slumped to the ground, leaned against the wall and cried loudly, and couldn't help pulling his hair tightly.

Then he felt his body being hugged, but he no longer had the strength to make any struggle.

"…sorry."

A few words drifted into Ji Changsi's ears sparingly, and every word was like a sharp knife, stabbing his heart one knife after another.

"What Wei Xi suffers from is... dissociative personality disorder... You are just the sub-personality of this body."

"All the contacts and exchanges that have occurred between you have only occurred in...consciousness."

"You alternately appearing and exercising control over this body... But this will cause a serious burden on Wei Xi's body, and there is nothing you can do... Even you... can't..."

It was difficult for Ji Ziyang to say that he had never dealt with patients with special circumstances before, but no matter how fragile the patient was, he could tell the truth in such a tactful way without hesitation.

But now, for the first time, he felt that he couldn't even speak an ordinary sentence, and after searching for a long time, he couldn't find any tactful routine that could be used in the current situation.

Ji Changsi is about to collapse, the world that belongs to him has completely collapsed.

But Ji Ziyang was about to collapse. No matter who the guy in front of him was, what he was facing was the familiar face. In a sense, what he was facing was always a part of that person.

Later, Ji Ziyang hugged Ji Changsi and stayed on the ground for a long time. They used to hate each other when they saw each other, but now they cuddled together in such a way.

I don't know how long it took, when Ji Changsi finally calmed down, Ji Ziyang slowly told him everything.

Should it be Wei Xi's disease, his own disease, or the two of them's disease, how to view the relationship between him and Wei Xi, Ji Changsi can understand without Ji Ziyang's further explanation.

"...I'm so thankful that you can keep looking at me like this... I mean, it's me, or Wei Xi... Or, this body..."

Ji Changsi spoke very slowly, as if he had lost his soul, he leaned against the wall and stared blankly at the ceiling.

"It's because you like him...Wei Xi...so you really like him..."

As Ji Changsi said, another line of tears fell from his eyes.

Ji Ziyang also looked at him sadly, "You like him very much too."

"But it's different, I don't have that qualification anymore." Ji Changsi sniffed, and raised his eyes to look at Ji Ziyang, "And he doesn't like me, either."

He already knew, about what kind of existence he was, he didn't need to tell Ji Ziyang, as long as he knew the causes, he would understand everything.

What's more, he remembered that Wei Xi had told him that he was really like you.

Now, he finally knows what kind of existence Ji Ziyang was to Wei Jiale back then.He still remembered that before, he himself felt that although he had never seen who the legendary Ji Ziyang was, he unexpectedly felt that he could guess all the thoughts of that person.

If it wasn't for Ji Ziyang, how could there be him.

Thinking of this, Ji Changsi even wanted to laugh. Thinking about himself for so long, he felt like a joke.

Turns out he was just a substitute.

To Wei Jiale before amnesia, or to Wei Xi after amnesia, he was just a created substitute.

Ji Changsi rubbed his eyes, his eyes were dull and lifeless, and lost his original vitality.

He froze for a while, as if he still couldn't believe that all this was true.After some time, he asked hesitantly, "How are you going to deal with me? To heal... this body."

Ji Ziyang froze for a moment, then said calmly and honestly, "I will integrate you."

"That means I'm going to disappear, right?"

"Wei Xi is the main personality, and we should focus on him, and it can't be said to disappear. Simply put, it is a process of combining the two of you into one."

"Ah... I understand," Ji Changsi still looked at the ceiling with ethereal eyes, "but... in the end, the me I am now should disappear..."

Ji Ziyang opened his mouth, but finally chose to remain silent.

"I can't see him anymore, can I?"

"...that won't do you any good."

Ji Changsi was stunned for a while with a blank face, and suddenly asked Ji Ziyang, "Can I ask you something?"

Ji Ziyang nodded, "Say it."

"Can I ask you, no matter what happens in the future, don't leave him again."

Ji Ziyang was taken aback when he heard the words, and asked him in a calm voice, "...what do you mean?"

"That guy is too stupid, he can't take care of himself by himself," Ji Changsi smiled lightly, the emptiness in his eyes was completely gone, but his voice was weak, "When I think about it, if I'm not here, I won't be here." People can be by his side like me, if you think about it...I still feel that he is too pitiful..."

Ah, is that so? After knowing what kind of existence I am, are I worried about such things?

"So I hope that no matter whether he can recover his memory in the future, you can accept Wei Jiale like this." Ji Changsi looked at Ji Ziyang, "I hope that no matter what happens in the future, you will never leave him again."

With a pain in his heart, Ji Ziyang tried his best to close the things that were about to overflow in his eyes, and nodded seriously, "I definitely won't."

"Take a check," Ji Changsi looked at Ji Ziyang, his eyes were shining, and he looked very beautiful.

He stretched out a little finger and handed it in front of Ji Ziyang, "Promise me, you will never leave him again."

Ji Ziyang frowned, unable to look directly at the little finger in front of him, and couldn't help biting his lips.

In the past, Ji Ziyang had calculated and planned deeply in his heart, what method should be used to coerce Ji Changsi to choose the road of self-destruction.

But when this day finally came, Ji Ziyang suddenly hesitated, he suddenly felt very scared, afraid to watch the personality in front of him disappear just like that, it was like watching a soul disappear, like watching a person It's like disappearing.

"Didn't you say that? I will hurt Wei Xi."

Ji Changsi said so, and then passed his hand to Ji Ziyang's eyes.

Obviously just a personality at the age of a teenager, but at this time he persuaded Ji Ziyang, who is an adult, like an adult.

Ji Ziyang stared blankly at the guy in front of him, obviously it was Wei Xi's body, but he felt that it was the first time he saw Ji Changsi clearly hidden in this body.

Wei Xi was right, he was very similar to him, but he was really not him.

The guy he regarded as the most annoying guy in the world turned out to be such a boy.

Ji Ziyang choked up, stretched out the little finger of his right hand, and hooked up with Ji Changsi's little finger.

Then he saw Ji Changsi smiling, it was obviously Wei Xi's face, but there was a rare look on his face, it didn't belong to Wei Xi's smile, it didn't belong to Wei Jiale's smile when he was a teenager, and it didn't belong to his childhood Kiko Yang's smile.

It was a smile that belonged exclusively to that man named Ji Changsi.

Ji Changsi sighed for a long time, his face was peaceful and peaceful, as if he was relieved, he leaned against the cold wall.

Well, I really feel a little sleepy...

Thinking like this, Ji Changsi put his left hand to his lips, bit hard on the joint of his ring finger, and then stretched out towards the light.

I really want to hold that hand again in the sun...

"...You can treat me..."

Ji Ziyang choked up, and he slowly approached Ji Changsi, sitting face to face with him, trying to remember the treatment steps he should carry out, but he always felt that his mind was in a mess.

But what should come will always come.

If everything is doomed, people must learn to face it.

Ji Ziyang tried his best to put his tone in the most gentle way, "Then... it started?"

"…kindness…"

What kind of feeling is that? For Ji Changsi, is it like facing death?

Ji Ziyang felt a pain in his heart, but tried to tell himself in his heart that Ji Changsi didn't disappear, he just merged them into one, that didn't really disappear.

In the end, he looked at Ji Changsi, who was heartbroken, and couldn't help but comfort him, "...Don't be afraid."

"...um...is it complicated?"

"will not."

"Is it slow?"

"…Won't."

Ji Changsi still squinted his eyes and stared at the bright light, as if seeing the sun again.

"...will it hurt?"

Ji Ziyang frowned, turned his face away slightly, but still said calmly, "...it doesn't hurt, it's like falling asleep."

"Don't tell him where I'm going."

In the end, Ji Changsi left such a sentence.

"Just tell him, I don't want him anymore."

Ji Changsi pursed his lips with a smile, and then slowly closed his eyes.

Then when the raised hand fell weakly, it was taken by Ji Ziyang.

He looked at the guy who had fallen asleep, and finally couldn't help but hugged that limp body into his arms.

It turns out that you are Ji Changsi...

Ji Ziyang knelt on the ground and hugged the person in his arms, silently shedding a line of tears.