you are so tender

After her son Yang Zongbao's wound healed, Zhou Lijuan called Xu Man: "Xu Man, I have something private to talk to you about. Can you arrange a time?"

"Of course. Let's meet in a cafe tonight, do you think it's okay?" Xu Man replied.

Xu Man booked a private room in the cafe near the law firm, and met Zhou Lijuan that night as promised. "If you are not afraid that drinking coffee will affect your sleep, I will order a pot of coffee, and we will drink and chat. If you don't drink coffee, then look at other drinks." Zhou Lijuan said that you can drink coffee, so Xu Man placed the order as usual , Ask for a pot of instant Blue Mountain coffee.

"I can't stand living with my mother-in-law anymore." Zhou Lijuan made it clear.

"Ajuan, do you want me to give you advice?" Xu Man asked.

"That's exactly the intention." Zhou Lijuan did not hide it, and said with some embarrassment: "The most difficult problem between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the person who should and is most able to solve it is her husband. But Yang Guangzhi is not on my side. Now There is nothing I can do."

"Ajuan, thank you for trusting me so much." Xu Man said only this politely, and then turned around: "In this case, I will be open and honest."

"As long as I have the slightest birthright, I won't talk to you about family matters." Zhou Lijuan said.

"Ajuan, there are problems in every sentence of your description of the problem. What I mean is that you have problems. You have problems in understanding." Xu Man said bluntly.

"Ah? Don't everyone say that?" Zhou Lijuan expressed surprise.

"Maybe I'm too judgmental. Basically none of what everyone says is correct. Because most of the things that follow others' opinions are the dead branches and leaves that do not use their brains and drift with the wind in the wilderness of knowledge. Ajuan, remember The last time we talked outside Pizza Hut, I was very impressed by what you said. You said that people always find goodness in themselves when they are down in life, and at the same time testify to the bad intentions of others. You said it very well, At that time, I thought you were a person who was deeply introspective, and it was not simple. But with all due respect, you may not have carried out the same spirit in the place where you are most frustrated. Everyone said that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are difficult to get along with, how difficult is it? It used to be The difficulty lies in the social system. Women are helpless in the face of the double oppression of patriarchy and husband authority. It is also difficult now, but not as difficult as in the past. Because now the difficulty is only in customs and concepts, but in culture. Of course The times have changed, the system has changed, but the tradition is still there, which shows that culture is more stubborn than the system. However, the system is hard and the culture is soft. We can do nothing if others want to follow the old ways, but we can change ourselves and let our thoughts break out of the cage .As long as you don’t become a slave to your ideas, many difficult problems will not be so difficult.”

"Xu Man, I really admire what you said so well. During the trial, I found that you have clear thinking and extraordinary insights." Zhou Lijuan praised.

"Thank you for the praise. You just said that the husband should be the most capable and able to solve the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. I don't take it seriously. The problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law involves a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law. Since you are a daughter-in-law, why are you not the person who should solve the problem? The responsibility of the third party? Because that is your problem! Shouldn’t you solve it yourself? If you are the one who should solve the problem, then it can be said that you should also be the most capable person to solve the problem. Because You are personally on the scene, you know the problem best, and you can face the same problem with the other party, your mother-in-law, most directly, and negotiate with each other to solve it.”

"She is an elder, how can I reason with her?"

"Ajuan, mother-in-law is certainly an elder, but she is your family and relatives first, otherwise it doesn't matter if she is an elder or not. Since it is a family, there is no need to worry about getting along with each other. Principles should be followed in everything. If there are inconsistencies on specific issues, just spread them out and discuss them.”

"Xu Man, you don't know—oh, you don't know how powerful my mother-in-law is. She hardly lets me touch her son, and takes care of everything. It doesn't matter if the child is too young, I It’s true that I don’t know how to take care of children. It’s a good thing that the old man is willing to help. But she can’t let a mother learn how to take care of the child, right? Especially when the child grows up and is spoiled by the old man, I’m afraid that the child will not be well educated in the future. ah."

"The older generation takes care of their children across generations. This is basically the case. I know that you are mainly worried about your children's growth and education. In terms of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I can't say that you are not working hard enough, but I judge that you are more willing to compromise and adopt appeasement. attitude, only seeking improvement, rather than trying to find a way to fundamentally solve the problem.”

"Then what do you mean by fundamentally solving the problem?"

"My mother-in-law's generation is used to holding on to the weak, and it is impossible to expect them to change their minds and enter the new era. But no matter who they are, they should stand in their proper position and act properly. They cannot rely on power, including ethical and moral advantages, to interfere with normal affairs. Order in life. That’s why I say that principles must be followed in everything, and the same is true within the family. First of all, clarify the principles and let your husband and mother-in-law know your principles. In my opinion, the principles between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are very simple. In the mother-in-law’s house, she is the hostess, and you listen to her. In your and your husband’s house, you are the hostess, and the mother-in-law mainly listens to you. Besides, as the biological mother of the child, you have the right to raise and educate the child. You face That’s right, you’re not an outsider, you can not only advocate, but you should actively fight for it?”

"It's easier for outsiders. But she is my mother-in-law, she doesn't listen to me at all, and my husband just stands by, what do you think I can do?"

"That's why you complained just now that Yang Guangzhi was not on your side. Ajuan, I think the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not a relationship between husband and wife. It is difficult for Yang Guangzhi to choose sides between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. You think he should stand on your side unconditionally." , because you feel lonely and helpless, as if even your husband doesn’t help you. Maybe your mother-in-law also feels lonely and helpless, and even your son doesn’t stand by her.”

"But Yang Guangzhi is my husband after all?"

"Ajuan, don't forget, he used to be my husband too."

"Xu Man, what do you mean?"

"Ajuan, I know Yang Guangzhi somewhat. He takes care of his family and self-discipline, and can be a good husband. I can understand your situation. You need to be more considerate. One is to be more considerate of your mother-in-law. Although she has gone too far, But it’s not easy and rare for one person to help your husband and wife take care of your children. Another thing, you also need to be more considerate of your husband, don’t ask him to stand on which side, a mother and a wife can stand on any side. The problem is that you have to stand on either side. Think about it, is this the truth? But you can ask him to stand on principle, I believe that Yang Guangzhi will definitely consider how to communicate with his mother from the perspective of a child. But I think , The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law always depends on the communication between you and mother-in-law."

"Xu Man, what you said is very reasonable. But if I continue to live with my mother-in-law like this, I'm afraid I'm going to go crazy. What should I do?"

"Ajuan, in principle, I should only talk about principles, and it's not convenient to give advice. In that case, I'm afraid that I will cause trouble and be suspected of interfering in other people's family affairs for no reason. But there is something special between us. You are Jiaojiao's stepmother, in my opinion Come on, you are her real mother. I mean the chief mother. As the biological mother, I am away from work and can only be her stepmother, that is, the second mother. We are two connected by blood Mother, I can't ignore any difficulties you encounter. So I dare to risk the world's dissatisfaction and offer some suggestions for your reference. "

"Xu Man, I came to you for this matter, so I naturally want to find a way to resolve it. You don't have to be shy, just say it."

"Ajuan, family affairs are not the same as going to court. After the lawsuit is decided, all kinds of relationships will soon disappear. But the relationship between relatives is forever, although family affairs continue, there is always a chance to solve them. You can't be too anxious, you must have enough Patience, maybe it will be solved at some point. You see, in two or three months, Jiaojiao will go to elementary school and Zongbao will go to kindergarten. This may be an opportunity. The old man is used to raising children, and there will be no one at home by then , she must not be able to bear the loneliness. Besides, she has been away from her hometown for so long, and your father-in-law has no one to take care of her. Life must be difficult. The old couple can’t always live in two places, right? Rather, they need to recuperate more. Compared with children who grow up in a blink of an eye, the elderly need to be taken care of more. Your mother-in-law brought Zongbao to the kindergarten, and she has worked hard, so she should stop and recuperate. I think you need more Communicate face-to-face with your mother-in-law, and you don’t have to worry about it. If it’s really difficult, let your husband mediate, that’s the right way.”

"Well. Thank you, Xu Man. I feel much more relieved."

Afterwards, Xu Man told Tian Xiaohui about the meeting.Tian Xiaohui was happy for Xu Man, because Zhou Lijuan had obviously regarded Xu Man as a friend, and she saw the hope that Xu Man and Jiaojiao's mother and daughter would recognize each other in the future.Speaking of Zhou Lijuan's mother-in-law involving two children, Tian Xiaohui said: "Zhou Lijuan and Yang Guangzhi had a child right after they got married, and the couple spent too little time alone. It is completely understandable that she doesn't want to live with her mother-in-law. In the future, both children will go to school At worst, it’s better to ask a temporary nanny to pick you up, than to let the mother-in-law interfere in the lives of two people.”

"Yes, both of them are civil servants, and their time is uncomfortable. If they want, I can pick up and drop off their children." Xu Man said.

"Xu Man, are you thinking too much? Anyway, you are Yang Guangzhi's ex-wife. Let me take care of you temporarily, whether Jiaojiao or Zongbao? That's okay. But you can't always hang around in front of other people's husband and wife Ah! I don't think that's appropriate. But I can do it and bring it to our home." Tian Xiaohui reminded.

"That's right, Xiao Hui, you're the one who has considered it thoroughly." Xu Man said.

In a blink of an eye, it's summer vacation.Thinking of her daughter going to elementary school soon, Xu Man felt more hopeful in her heart.As the daughter started to slowly leave the house, it felt as if she was going to a place closer to herself.Xu Man talked about this, but Tian Xiaohui said that she felt the same way.The happy lesbians don't feel bad about it, because they have a common home that is invisible to others, but which they themselves feel real at all times.Moreover, they have enough courage, enough wisdom, and enough ability to make this invisible family formed by the two of them become the existence of love that Xiaolei and Jiaojiao can find and rely on at any time in the future.

On a Saturday morning in late autumn, after breakfast, Tian Xiaohui and Xu Man sat lazily on the sofa in the living room, swiping the screen on their phones.At this time, Xu Man's mobile phone showed a call coming in, and it was Zhou Lijuan's call.Xu Man pressed the hands-free button: "Xu Man, hello! I'm Ajuan."

"Hello, Ajuan. What can I do for you?"

"It's like this. My mother-in-law, Guangzhi, and I have discussed it several times. Our family wants to invite you and Dr. Tian to have dinner together tomorrow night. The meal is secondary, and we mainly want to get together. My mother-in-law I will go back to Shantou in a few days, and I hope to thank Dr. He Tian in person before going back to my hometown. She also said that Dr. He Tian is taking care of you in the same place, and you are the mother of her granddaughter. There is nothing to worry about. Xu Man, I personally thank you very much, so I won’t say anything extra. Please tell Dr. Tian what our family thinks. If there is no problem with the time, I will post the location map when I book the hotel WeChat sent to you."

Seeing that Tian Xiaohui kept nodding at her, Xu Man replied:

"Okay, I'm very glad to have a gathering with your family. Ajuan, you can arrange it. I know from Dr. Tian that she can attend."

The two parties ended the call.Xu Man and Tian Xiaohui rolled on the sofa happily.

Tian Xiaohui asked: "Who is your doctor Tian?"

Xu Man replied: "I don't know. I don't know Dr. Tian. I only know Tian Xiaohui."

The author has something to say:

This novel is the original biography of the trilogy of "The Truth of Love", and it ends here.The time span is not large, from more than half a month before the Spring Festival to the late autumn of the second year, less than a year.The author hopes to provide readers with the basic elements of the two heroines living together, from which they can envision their happiness.

This biography is the sequel to the prequel "Xu Man's Story".

It is expected that starting from April, the author will continue to launch the serial work "If Love Can Be Explained", which is a biography of the trilogy of "The Truth of Love", which is not only the sequel of the prequel, but also the companion chapter of the biography.

Please look forward to the rumor "If Love Can Explain".