you are so tender

The day Xu Man returned to Zhongshan coincided with the weekend.Lingering all night, Xu Man and Tian Xiaohui ushered in their first morning in laziness.The warm winter sun penetrates the tulle curtains, and the light draws a soft triangle on the double bed.Xu Man's mobile phone rang at 7:07 on time, like the sound of pines and waves. She carefully twisted her body, quickly stretched out an arm from the bed, and groped by the pillow until the phone stopped the alarm clock, for fear of making noise. Tian Xiaohui arrived beside her.And Tian Xiaohui also woke up at this time, at the moment when Xu Man's arm left the embrace.

"Xu Man, do you have anything to do today?" Tian Xiaohui asked with sleepy eyes.

Xu Man turned her head, and Wu Xiaolan's peaceful face appeared in her mind in an instant, which made her stretch out her hand with a little hesitation that she only noticed. "No, Xiao Hui, I have nothing to do." Xu Man put his hands on Xiao Hui's shoulders, "My alarm clock is set on a permanent basis, and I forgot to turn it off last night, it seems to wake you up!"

"I want to sleep more! Xu Man, if you can't sleep, get up and make breakfast, and wake me up when you're done. Let me squint again."

"Xiaohui, my whole body is still weak, I don't want to get up, if I want to sleep in bed, we can sleep together."

"Okay, then come back." Tian Xiaohui said, lifted the cashmere quilt, and made a gesture of greeting, but Xu Man never left at all.With such a slight movement, the two women saw each other's naked bodies facing each other through the gap almost at the same time.Of course they didn't see it, but felt it in a split second.This feeling was too bizarre, especially for Tian Xiaohui, she seemed like a lifetime away, and she didn't know what kind of changes she had experienced overnight.Tian Xiaohui may be a bit shy in her heart, but what she said was: "Can you not be soft? Look at your torment last night, I was tortured enough by you!"

"You are not ashamed! Xiaohui, who is riding on someone and refuses to get off, and said that I torment you." While speaking, Xu Man put the hand on Xiaohui's shoulder to scratch Xiaohui's armpit, Xiaohui Caught off guard, he tightened his shoulders and struggled left and right, pedaled hard on the bed with both legs, and within a few strokes pulled the cashmere quilt where the two slept together to their feet, thus completely exposing each other.The two of them were stunned for a moment, and they sat up at once. They were going to cover their bodies with the quilt, but they hugged sideways at the same time. When their hairline was submerged in the messy hair, the passionate tongue kiss broke through the gap between their lips. Boundary, someone's hand grasps the edge of the quilt when lying down, and the cashmere quilt stretches slowly like a cloak, half covering it.Panting, Tian Xiaohui said quietly, "Xu Man, can you tell me what's wrong with me?"

"What's the matter with you?" Xu Man replied, before she could answer, she sealed Xiaohui's mouth with a passionate kiss.Tian Xiaohui gently pinched Xu Man's back with her hand, twisted her face, and freed her mouth, "Will you let me talk?" Xu Man then let Xiao Hui go, "Okay, Tell me."

Tian Xiaohui raised her hand to put away her hair, and then brushed away the strands of hair on Xu Man's cheeks, looking at Xu Man with bright eyes, "I have never paid attention to homosexuality, it seems that there is no such thing at all. Until you came to Zhongshan on a business trip last time and told me that you divorced Yang Guangzhi because of your different sexual orientation, do you know how shocked I was! Xu Man, before this, homosexuality was unimaginable to me, and I never imagined it at all. But Xu Man, I was with you in a blink of an eye, and...and..."

"And what? Xiao Hui." Xu Man fixed Xiao Hui's eyes and made a gesture of going to kiss her again.

"Xu Man, can you be more serious? Listen carefully to my sister!" Tian Xiaohui pretended to be angry.

"Tian Xiaohui! I have never called you 'sister' since I met you. Don't expect me to call you that, and I won't in the future. But Xiaohui, I love you, I really love you."

"My sister knows. It's up to you whether you call me or not, I am your sister."

Hearing Tian Xiaohui's words, Xu Man's complexion changed suddenly, and his voice trembled: "Xiaohui, you, do you mean that you will only treat me like a big sister?"

Tian Xiaohui noticed Xu Man's change, she stroked Xu Man's cheek with infinite pity, and said, "Okay, okay! See where you are going? I don't ask you to call me 'sister' anymore."

"Xiaohui, it's not a matter of title. You are a little older than me, we are sisters in terms of age, and we have always been good sisters. But, I don't want us to be just sisters."

"Xu Man, I understand what you mean. Don't worry, let me finish the sentence, okay? You're not blaming yourself, he's still there, and you're going to harass me."

Xu Man suddenly became quiet, as if he was waiting for the judge's sentence in court.As a professional lawyer, she naturally cares about the outcome of every case, but there is never one like this moment, she holds her breath, ready to fully capture the message that Tian Xiaohui's words will convey, as if it is a matter of life and death.

Tian Xiaohui laughed out loud, "What are you doing! Xu Man, well, I think it's better to have a kiss first." Tian Xiaohui hugged Xu Man into her arms, hugged her tightly with both hands, and felt A slight trembling of her body.Tian Xiaohui had a smile on her face, but her eyes were already filled with tears, "I'm sorry, Xu Man, I scared you. I must tell you right away, I love you too, just like you love me."

After hearing Tian Xiaohui's words, Xu Man finally held back her tears, crying like a child who was wronged in every way: "Xiaohui, you don't know how much I love you. At that time you were still married, I don't dare to get too close to you, for fear that my love will hurt you. In the past few years in Wuhan, I thought that I could leave you, and even thought that I could fall in love with others, but I just deceived myself. Do you know? Xiao Hui, after you left Lao Ding, I experienced a brief hesitation. When I tentatively told you that I wanted to go back to Zhongshan, you answered me so readily, 'Come back, Xu Man, don't worry, my home is Your home.' After receiving your words, I can no longer stay in Wuhan with peace of mind. Although I know that your divorce and homosexuality are not the same thing, and the distance between you is more than thousands of rivers and mountains, but I am willing to take the risk, and..."

"Xu Man, I haven't had time to say my 'and', why did you also 'and' go? But, you have already touched me, and I want to tell you, the 'and' I want to say is the same as you just now 'And' is related to what I said before. Don't say your 'and', let me talk about mine 'and'!"

Xu Man didn't know what the 'and' Tian Xiaohui was going to say, but she was relieved now, not worried about Tian Xiaohui's 'and', but her own 'and', and it took a lot of courage to say it.So she said that she would obediently listen to Tian Xiaohui's 'and'.

So Tian Xiaohui said: "Xu Man, let's stop crying, okay? As you said, I divorced Ding Jianjun not because I was a lesbian, but because my marriage with him was too painful. This kind of The pain made me lose my goodwill and confidence in men. Even my male colleagues and those respectable men I had known before suddenly became like painted skins in my eyes. I dare not trust them anymore. Of course I can’t I say that people are beasts in clothes, but why do I feel that they are all the same as Ding Jianjun in their bones! I also know that I must be blindfolded and generalized when I think this way, but I just have to think this way. You say Xu Man, their men pursue women , to find a woman to marry and have children, is it enough to be a woman? Isn’t loving a person first of all loving a specific, special, and only one person? If this person happens to be the same gender as you, Two men are called comrades, and two women are called lesbians, but in most cases, two people of the opposite sex will love each other, and they are called husband and wife when they get married. From this perspective, in the sense of love, homosexuality and Is heterosexuality really that big of a difference? For example, I just came out of the ruins of my marriage without the concept of homosexuality in my mind, but I was with you all of a sudden. This seems very bizarre. And yet I don't think... well, let me think of a word to use? Oh, 'weird', yes, that's the word, I don't think it's weird, like I'm supposed to be with you. And walk in In the man's world, I foolishly married Ding Jianjun, but I made a mistake when I was young and ignorant. Xu Man, you helped me correct this mistake in time. I am a local, and I have many scruples invisibly. It seems to be compatible, but I think about it, and I always have a lot of worries, and I have made do with him for so long! After all, it is because I lack your courage. Xu Man, I love you, because you have courage, I want to use your courage come to love you."

The person who is touched now is Xu Man.In any case, she never imagined that as a senior lesbian, that is, a lesbian who has already made clear her sexual orientation and readily accepts her self-identification, she does not really understand homosexuality.Conventional sexuality is that men and women love each other, while lesbian is women loving women, her understanding is nothing more than that.Tian Xiaohui's words made Xu Man feel ashamed as never before. She suddenly realized that she had never started from pure love to distinguish between heterosexuality and homosexuality.And Tian Xiaohui doesn't think she is a lesbian, but she is enlightened in the bitter water of life, the bitterness turns into fine wine, and the bitterness is fragrant because of love. She discovered with her bright eyes: in this world, love is the starting point. It is the essence and the only reason, while heterosexuality and homosexuality are just a formal distinction.Indeed, Xu Man has no lack of courage, loves what I love, and has no complaints or regrets. However, compared with Tian Xiaohui, Xu Man feels that her courage is nothing more than showing the toughness of Wuhan women and the courage of ordinary people.

"Xiaohui, I found that I was quite selfish." Xu Man said very seriously and very sadly.

"It's so early in the morning, what's the matter with you?" Tian Xiaohui asked in bewilderment, then stretched out her arms and pulled Xu Man, bringing her closer to her chest.And Xu Man's body seemed to resist deliberately, as if he was not worthy of Tian Xiaohui's love.

"Xiaohui, I really think so. Because I love you in my heart, I'm afraid that I won't be able to get you, and I'm afraid that you won't be lesbian. In that case, you won't love me, and we won't be able to live together. You don't know , The road left for lesbians in this world is too rough and narrow. Some sisters know that they are lesbians, but they have to force themselves to marry men. If you are lesbians, I know you will not be like this, so I will Hope you are also Lala, it is like expecting a comet to change its orbit, if you are not, it is impossible to change at all. Those words you just made me wake up and start to doubt myself, whether I love you more or miss you I am more, what you said is the truth, if I love you, love, and only love, is the basis. Xiaohui, I am so selfish, will you still love me?" After saying these words, Xu Man timidly said Looking at Xiaohui, this is still that sharp professional lawyer!

"Xu Man, if love is your basis, then I don't care if you are selfish or not. If I love you, I will love you. Besides, I don't think Lala's line is so narrow. Think about it, loving someone is just Love such a person, no matter whether he is the same sex or the opposite sex, the opportunities are the same, and the opportunities are the same, the same is easy, and the same is difficult. Thanks to the lawyer who represented so many divorce lawsuits, the scars of heterosexuality , have you seen too few of them?"

Tian Xiaohui's words made Xu Man suddenly enlightened. She couldn't help hugging Xiaohui tightly, gave a long kiss, and then said: "Xiaohui, I feel that I admire you even more! Oh, yes, you have said so much, you What the hell is the 'and'?"

Tian Xiaohui curled her lips and smiled strangely, "Didn't I tell you? Xu Man, don't care if I'm a lesbian or not. Not only is my lesbianism fast as lightning, but also... and I found that lesbian love is so fun, so sweet, so sweet. satisfy!"

"This is your 'and'?" Xu Man asked.

"Otherwise?" Tian Xiaohui replied.

The author has something to say:

Dear readers, please start from here with me, follow the two protagonists in the work, and experience a journey of pure love of Lily personally. In this chapter, Tian Xiaohui actually raised a question that may not be solved theoretically. That is: sex/love, whether to have sex first and then love, or love first and then sex, is similar to the chicken-egg problem.