defenseless

Lu Xiangzhi woke up, opened the bedroom door, and was blinded by the bright lights in the living room.

Lu Xiaozheng was half lying on the ground to wipe the floor, and when he heard the door opening, he stood up, and there were two water stains on the knees of his trousers.

Lu Xiangzhi leaned against the wall and looked at him with folded hands: "What's wrong."

When Lu Xiao did something wrong when he was a child, Lu Xiangzhi punished him to do housework. After a long time, as long as he felt unhappy, he would like to clean up. He had to clean the seams of the floor to be comfortable.Seeing his posture, Lu Xiangzhi felt confident.

"Sit down and talk." Lu Xiao put down the rag, took off his gloves, and sat down

on the sofa.

Lu Xiangzhi walked over and sat next to him: "A big deal?"

"Well," Lu Xiao paused, "It's quite a big deal."

"Tell me, I'll listen." Lu Xiangzhi took out the cigarette case from the coffee table, lit one, and handed it to Lu Xiao, "Do you want it?"

Lu Xiao took a cigarette, pinched it on his finger, and didn't light it: "Old Lu, I won't go into details, I don't know if you have heard or understood about this, but it really happened to me. body."

"I like guys, I'm gay."

Life is not a TV series, and there is no soundtrack background. In the room, this sentence was transmitted to Lu Xiangzhi's ears abruptly, without even a prelude.

Lu Xiangzhi didn't speak for a long time, until the cigarette ash fell on his trousers, then he shook his fingers, regained consciousness and slapped his trousers.

Lu Xiao took the lighter from the coffee table and lit the cigarette, then took a deep breath.

The two father and son sat on the sofa and swallowed, as if Lu Xiao had never said that sentence just now.

Seeing that half a pack of cigarettes was gone, Lu Xiao said, "Old Lu, say something."

Lu Xiangzhi put his half-puffed eyes into the ashtray: "I searched my stomach for a long time, but I can't think of what to say."

"You have been a child who is not to worry about since you were a child, and your own affairs are always consciously arranged in an orderly manner. In the winter when your mother just went, I devoted myself to work and didn't have the mood to care about you. It was hard to have a meal at home, only to find out The sleeves of your sweater are all short to the wrist. You said it’s okay, you won’t be cold if you wear two more.”

"Every time you transfer school or move, you never complain, just accept my decision silently, and accompany me to wander, you are so sensible. I often hear the old brothers around me say that yesterday I found yellow gold from under the child's bed. There are impurities, and some small clips were found in the computer. Today, the teacher called again and said that he wrote a love letter to the little girl, failed the grades, and started a fight. I am very relieved and feel distressed. The children of other families rest during the rebellious period of adolescence□ You've never had an alternate attack. Don't speak harsh words to me, don't get angry, and don't lose your temper. You don't have the breath of your age."

"You can talk about this matter." Lu Xiangzhi lit another cigarette, "It means that this is a result, and there is no room for negotiation, right?"

Lu Xiao: "Yes."

"When did you find out?" Lu Xiangzhi asked.

"I don't know. When I was young, I liked watching little boys more. When I grew up, I gradually realized it. After checking some information, I was sure." Lu Xiao replied.

"You found out a long time ago, why did you choose to say it now." Lu Xiangzhi just said a few words and extinguished another cigarette.

Lu Xiao paused for a few seconds and said, "I have a boyfriend now."

Lu Xiangzhi's movement of reaching for the cigarette froze for a second, then turned to look at Lu Xiao's calm face: "Jiang Hongyu?"

"Did you see it?" Lu Xiao was a little surprised.

"I can't tell." Lu Xiangzhi lit a cigarette and shook his head, "I just feel that you treat him differently than you treat Chen Nan. Listening to what you say, many things are right."

"Old Lu, this is not easy to accept. I don't know if you are so calm." Lu Xiao smiled.

"Didn't you say that you have been like this since you were a child?" Lu Xiangzhi's lips spread a wry smile, "If this is natural, you are my son, even if there is something wrong with this matter, it is brought to you by me and your mother." .”

"There's nothing wrong with this." Lu Xiao shook his head and said, "Some people like dogs, some like cats, some like little girls, and some like little boys."

"It's quite common to like dogs and cats," Lu Xiangzhi said. "It's not common for little boys to like little boys."

"The number of homosexuals in China may be equal to the number of people who own cats and dogs," Lu Xiao said. "It's just that the public sees it differently."

"I don't want you to be looked at like this," Lu Xiangzhi's chest trembled, and his voice was a little choked up, "I am an orphan. For me, someone who understands you and loves you can accompany you throughout your life, whether it is a man or a woman. How much difference can there be. When I think about how others will look at you, my heart hurts."

"Old Lu." Lu Xiao called him softly.

"I'm fine." Lu Xiangzhi waved his hand, "I'm also an ordinary person. This matter is a bit shocking, so I have to take it easy. You said that I have imagined the future for more than ten years, and you told me that my daughter-in-law should be replaced by a male daughter-in-law. , let me reshape my heart."

After speaking, he sighed again: "I can't hold my grandson anymore."

"If you want to hug," Lu Xiao said seriously, "you can go abroad to find a surrogate in the future."

"You think in the long run." Lu Xiangzhi forcibly calmed down his emotions, "Then are you still planning to take the IELTS exam?"

Lu Xiao shook his head.

"Because of Xiaojiang?" Lu Xiangzhi asked.

Lu Xiao nodded.

Lu Xiangzhi: "Then you promise me something."

After the two talked, Lu Xiangzhi went into the room without eating dinner.

Lu Xiao also knew that he needed time.

He went to the balcony and called Jiang Hongyu. As soon as it rang, the other party answered, "Hello. What are you doing?"

"What can you do at school?" Jiang Hongyu smiled.

"It's time for evening self-study, can you answer my phone?" Lu Xiao said.

"At home, it was too late to come out from the club, so I simply didn't go." Jiang Hongyu pondered for a while and asked, "Did you say it?"

Lu Xiao: "Well, but I haven't talked about you and me yet. You're right, let's talk about it after I go to college. My son's homosexuality and puppy love are too cruel to Lao Lu."

Jiang Hongyu: "Uncle, what do you say?"

Lu Xiao: "It looks calm, give him some time."

"What about you?" Jiang Hongyu's tone became more and more gentle, "Are you okay?"

"A stone has fallen in my heart." Lu Xiao looked at the shadow of the tree downstairs in a daze, "I feel pain in my heart when I fell down again."

"Take a hot bath and go to bed early," Jiang Hongyu said, "I won't disturb you today, see you tomorrow."

"Well, good night." Lu Xiao said softly to the microphone and the tree shadow downstairs.

Something in the shadows of the trees brightened and then went dark again.In the next second, a figure came out from the dark shadows.

Chen Nan went from restless to absent-minded all night.I sent a text message to Lu Xiao, and replied that I was fine, but the irritability in my heart did not decrease.

He felt that the little squid must be unhappy. Although he couldn't see it, he could feel it in every cell in his body.

He didn't know if he was annoyed with his subconscious behavior, or with the fact that the squid was upset, or both.

As soon as the school bell rang, he grabbed his schoolbag and went downstairs to wait at the door of the classroom.

When everyone was almost gone, the little squid came out slowly with the bag on his back.

Chen Nan walked over and grabbed his shoulder with his right hand, and touched the top of his head with his left hand: "It's so slow to fish in it."

Su Youyu broke away from him and walked forward by herself.

Chen Nan said to the back: "Don't be angry. No, why are you angry?"

Chen Nan quickly followed him: "There is a dessert shop behind the food street, let's go buy something to eat."

Su Youyu stopped suddenly, turned around and looked straight at him: "Don't keep treating me like a child. I will be 16 next month, just one year younger than you."

Seeing that he had spoken, Chen Nan finally felt more at ease, but only noticed the second half of the sentence, walked over and continued to hold his shoulder: "Your birthday is next month, when is next month?"

"Hey, are you a Capricorn or an Aquarius?" Chen Nan asked again.

Su Youyu: "..."

Although the little squid seemed to have softened, Chen Nan always felt a little guilty, and jumped back from the bridge on the artificial lake after sending him to the door.I haven't been back here for nearly a month. The house is very clean. I can see that someone cleans it regularly, and there are bento boxes in the refrigerator.

The housekeeping was hired by Chen Shaozhi, and Chen Shaozhi didn't know if he forgot, or because he was in some other state of mind. He must have known that he hadn't been at home for so long, so it was better to let people clean up as usual, cook and store in the refrigerator.

Chen Nan couldn't tell what it was like, and boredom enveloped her heart.

This room seems to be under a spell, as long as he returns here, those unchangeable facts are like a big emotional net, trapping him in it, unable to struggle.

He took out a can of Bingxuebi and downed his neck in one breath, belching so loud and clear that even the echo could be heard.

When Su Youyu went back, the new aunt was sitting on the sofa waiting for him.After humbling and inquiring for a long time, he barely managed a few words before turning around and going upstairs.

When I returned to the room and saw the calendar on the table, I was stunned for a while.

He took out his mobile phone and called Su Ming, but no one answered for a long time.

He put down his schoolbag, sat at the table, stared blankly for a while, and took out a rosewood harmonica from the drawer.I haven't played it for a long time. I tried the sound and found that the sound from the air hole was a bit stagnant. Su Youyu turned on the lamp on the table, flipped it with his fingers, took the piano body apart and wiped it carefully with a flannel cloth, and then assembled it piece by piece.

He did this kind of meticulous work unhurriedly, immersed in it, and looked serious and pious.

When the harmonica came to his mouth again, the ethereal and transparent melody came out next to his lips, floating in his breath, there was a sense of peace that was disturbing and irrelevant to the world, listening carefully, there was a bit of loneliness and harmony desolate.

Chen Nan stopped ringing the doorbell, he knew the song.

When he attended his grandfather's funeral in country M, he played this music.

The sister-in-law told him that it was an Irish folk song about the relationship between father and son.