defenseless

Chen Nan felt that her tears were ridiculous and ironic.

Those things that he lacked in his growth, God gave him back in another way.

The way to and from school with the nanny by the hand, the dirty alleys surrounded by people, Yanyan's parent meeting with Yanyan, from childhood to adulthood, he fantasized about Chen Shaozhi's generous and tall figure appearing in his vision in countless scenes. , Ling Fei's hands could support her forehead.

Even if only once.

The gentle company in the pediatric ward and the loving atmosphere of father and son are deeply imprinted in his memory.Only that thin body was lying alone on the cold hospital bed, smelling the pungent smell of disinfectant.

From then on, he understood that this kind of family warmth never belonged to him.

No matter how good the Lu family is, it's not his home.

But now it is someone else's family that gives him this kind of care.

He couldn't help but want to get closer to this faint light, the closer he got, the more sad he felt.

This ray of light illuminated his scars riddled with holes too clearly.

This corridor seems to have been going for a long time, so long that the oncoming fragmented tide rushed towards him until he was overwhelmed.

He gritted his teeth and didn't want to make a sound, but a white and delicate hand quietly wiped the back of his hand, gently and quickly, and then pulled it back as if nothing had happened.

Su Youyu turned his head away, avoiding Chen Nan's chasing sight.

In the end, Lu Xiangzhi took the little squid home.At this point in time, it takes more than an hour to go back and forth to Jinxi Garden, which is really tossing.

Lu Xiangzhi thought that he was sick and had to rest alone, and let Lu Xiao and the little squid squeeze together, but Chen Nan thought about Lu Xiao's taboo, and Lu Xiao slept with the little squid in Lu Xiao's room.

Chen Nan was physically and mentally exhausted, and she lay down on the bed without taking a shower when she returned home, but just as she closed her eyes, she no longer felt sleepy.

When the little squid got into the bed after washing, it was obviously cool, lying on the edge of the bed in an orderly manner.

"Come in," Chen Nan smiled, "just to cool me down."

Su Youyu thought for a while, then walked over again.

"Do you want to talk to me?" He whispered while lying on his back next to Chen Nan.

Chen Nan turned her head to look at him, the small orange lamp by the bedside illuminated the tiny fluff on his face, and the slender eyelashes were all the color of honey.

"What are you talking about?" Chen Nan pretended to be relaxed, "I haven't asked you how you did in the exam today?"

"It's okay." Su Youyu tugged at the quilt, but did not let go of his hands, "Did you miss home just now?"

Chen Nan was stunned for a moment, then took another breath, "Is it obvious?"

"I guess." Su Youyu rubbed against the pillow and shook his head, "When I'm sick, I miss my father and my mother, even though I haven't seen her before."

"We can only think about it." Chen Nan said softly.

"Can't you think about it?" He turned over and faced Chen Nan, "My dad has left, and I miss him. If he can know, he will feel relieved and happy; even if he doesn't know, in In my heart, he has always existed, and putting him in my heart is like a ritual, allowing him to live in another way in this world."

"You can take it easy." Chen Nan also turned to face him and rubbed his head.

"Su Ming said that we must learn to accept the facts that cannot be changed." He looked at Chen Nan's facial lines that were much softer under the light, and said seriously, "I think it is a very happy thing to think of them, although I Only Su Ming and, and you, but I don't feel lonely at all right now."

He didn't know why, so he couldn't help reaching out and touching Chen Nan's chin, and he could still feel the slight prickly stubble: "Don't feel lonely, you still have us."

Chen Nan looked at the brilliance flowing in his light-colored eyes, and her voice became softer and softer: "Well, I see."

After speaking, he got up and pressed the switch on the bedside: "Go to sleep. I have dark circles under my eyes."

"Do you think you are having a bad time now?" After a while, the voice of the little squid sounded in the darkness.

Chen Nan pondered for a while: "I don't know."

"You have so many friends. They all care about you, your mood, and your body. When you are bored, you can chat with them, ask them to play basketball, or go to the club."

"You know? When my dad was sick, I really thought I was going to be alone in this world soon. There were too many births, old ages, sicknesses and deaths in the hospital, and no one had the energy and time to bear other people's stories and troubles. I I was sad and scared every day, but I didn't know who to tell, until Su Ming appeared."

"No one can do better than him. Listen to me every day, comfort me, tell me that he will always be by my side, take care of me, and accompany me to grow up."

"A lot of people, including you, also think that my family is incomplete and feel that I am very pitiful. But I don't think that in my heart, he is my other father, and he and I are a family. I feel very sad every day. Happiness. Although I met you, I seem to be a little happier."

"Look, you never know what's going to happen next. You'll be happier, too, and someone will love you more in their place."

The corner of Chen Nan's mouth moved, but she didn't know what to say.

It was the first time he heard Little Squid speak so many words at one time, confessed so many thoughts, tried his best to comfort and encourage him with his own experience.

Seeing that he hadn't spoken for a long time, Su Youyu turned over, turned his back to him and said, "I'm asleep."

"Have you thought about the future?" Chen Nan said after a while, "I think I'm actually very lucky. I met a lot of really good people, and they all treated me very well. But I might be a little greedy. They have My own life, my own home, and my own family in the future. Although I often think that when I grow up, everyone can get together, eat, drink and chat, but once I think about it, after the party, I still I have to go back to that empty house like now, and I feel that life is very hopeless. They can participate in your life, but in a long life, I still have to be alone. "

"Why do you always waste your time now and divide your energy for things that haven't happened or maybe won't happen?" Little Squid tugged the quilt again, "There will be someone who loves you and wants to start a family with you. "

"I'm waiting for this day." Chen Nan smiled in the dark, and put a hand around his back, covering the little squid's eyes, "Go to sleep."

After saying good night, Chen Nan didn't fall asleep until the middle of the night.When he got up, Lu Xiangzhi was cooking porridge in the kitchen.

"Uncle." When he got up, he felt that his head pain was gone, and he thought he was much better, but when he made a sound, he was also startled.If yesterday's voice was like sawing wood, today when he opened his mouth, his voice was like being run over by a wheel all night.

"The glass of honey water on the dining table is yours, go drink it." Lu Xiangzhi was busy cutting side dishes, without looking back, "The porridge will be ready soon, go outside and wait."

"Where are Lu Xiao and Little Squid? Why haven't we seen anyone so early in the morning?" Chen Nan asked with a tear in his throat.

"Your voice is so refreshing," Lu Xiangzhi smiled, "I'm going to the vegetable market, let them buy some soup ingredients. Take out the kimchi from the refrigerator, my hands are dirty."

Chen Nan opened the refrigerator: "Uncle, so many things in here were prepared last night, right?"

"I thought that you would be able to eat hot food when you came back. Prepare it in advance." Lu Xiangzhi turned his head and smiled.

"How about eating at noon." Chen Nan said.

Lu Xiangzhi: "The bottom of the pot is mutton soup, you can't eat it."

Chen Nan looked distressed: "Don't waste it. I can just eat green vegetables and vermicelli, and I don't have much appetite."

Just as he was talking, there was a sound of opening the door in the living room.

"Lu Xiao, have mutton hot pot for lunch." Chen Nan subconsciously shouted to the living room, "Would you like to ask Jiang Hongyu to come over for lunch. We just go to class together in the evening."

"Xiaojiang?" Lu Xiangzhi turned around and looked at Chen Nan.

Lu Xiao has already walked quickly to the door of the kitchen.

Chen Nan suddenly lost his temper. This fever directly burned all his IQ. "Why is Xiaojiang in City C?" Lu Xiangzhi smiled and said to Lu Xiao, "You never mentioned it to me. Chen Nan is right, call him to have dinner. I haven't seen him for a long time."

"He transferred here." Lu Xiao walked in and put the big bones and vegetables on the stove, "Maybe I forgot to mention."

"That's good, take care of others." Lu Xiangzhi went out directly with the pot in hand. "Hey, Lu Xiao took out the bowl and chopsticks. Yes, Chen Nan, there are pickles and side dishes."

After Lu Xiangzhi went out, Chen Nan looked at Lu Xiao with some guilt: "I didn't pay attention for a while, I'm sorry."

Lu Xiaogang opened the cupboard, and when he heard what he said, he turned his head and looked at Chen Nan, his expression slightly restrained: "Why do you say I'm sorry?"

Chen Nan's pupils shrank. He had never seen someone dig a hole and bury himself so deep.

"I'm not in charge of your family, I take myself too seriously, don't mind." He hurriedly laughed.

"Chen Nan," Lu Xiao said solemnly, "Do you think I'm so foolish?"

"Hey," Chen Nan sighed, "I'm still a patient."

Lu Xiao said in a deep voice, "Don't interrupt."

"Okay." Chen Nan took a deep breath, "I know the matter between you and Jiang Hongyu, I have initially accepted it, and I am working hard to agree."

Chen Nan finished speaking vigorously, and spread her hands: "That's all."

"You two are standing in the kitchen chatting early in the morning." Lu Xiangzhi yelled at the kitchen at this time, "Why don't you come out, the little squid's eyes are about to fall into the pot."

"Let's go out first." After Chen Nan finished speaking, she didn't dare to look at Lu Xiao's expression, "I'll talk about it later."

"You really accept it?" Lu Xiao asked in a low voice when going out.

"You don't need my approval to fall in love." Chen Nan smiled, "It just takes a long time to realize."

Chen Nan had two packs of medicine to drink before meals. After swallowing it, her mouth felt bitter, so she frowned and drank a bowl of porridge.

"Little squid, you can eat here at noon." Lu Xiangzhi peeled an egg for him, "The house has not been busy for a long time, tell the family."

He took the egg: "well, I'll call auntie later."

Just as Chen Nan was about to speak, the little squid took a bite of more than half of the egg from the egg white to the yolk, without blinking, but immediately fed a big spoonful of porridge after the bite.

"By the way, when did Xiao Jiang come to City C? According to Chen Nan, did he transfer to one of your schools?" Lu Xiangzhi asked.

"It's been more than a month," Lu Xiao said with his head down, "Now we are in the same class."

"Except for Chen Nan and him, it's rare to see who you have a good relationship with." Lu Xiangzhi smiled. "You were unhappy for a while after transferring to another school. It's a coincidence. Let's have a few drinks at noon."

"Uncle, you just want to find an excuse to drink." Chen Nan poured a glass of water for Su Youyu beside him while talking.

"Don't expose me," Lu Xiangzhi said, "I didn't see that Lu Xiao's face turned black. Xiao'er, I didn't tell you, how did I teach you, don't do to others what you don't want, no matter how you don't like it, you can't stop it." I would like to take a sip."

"I didn't stop you." Lu Xiao sighed, "Every time you two drink too much, it's me who finishes it. Don't forget the last time the house was left open for two days to clear up the smell."

"Okay, I have a sense of proportion," Lu Xiangzhi smiled, "Call him after eating."

"Let's open up for two days to let the smell go." Chen Nan laughed beside him, "Uncle, how tragic your battle is. I'm really curious about Jiang Hongyu's drinking capacity."

"Anyway, I admire him." Lu Xiangzhi changed the topic, "You can't drink today, so there just happen to be more cleaners."

"You started explaining the follow-up work before you drink it," Chen Nan joked, "Is it okay to have a little ambition?"

"You'll know later." Lu Xiao felt helpless.

"Last time you drank enough." Xiao Su Youyu asked after eating the eggs with difficulty, "How do you drink today?"

"You still remember," Lu Xiangzhi said, "I thought you were broken."

"Uncle, don't embarrass him." Chen Nan stood up and prepared to clean up the dishes.

"Sit down," Lu Xiangzhi gestured, "Go and take the medicine and lie down on the bed. The doctor said that you will feel sleepy after taking the medicine."

"Confinement is not as delicate as I am." Chen Nan said happily, his throat was like a drafty wall, wheezing.

"I can't shout out your effect even after giving birth to a child." Lu Xiao laughed.

After breakfast, the sun came out, and Lu Xiangzhi took Su Youyu to the rooftop to dry the quilt.

Lu Xiao was washing dishes in the kitchen, while Chen Nan stood by and watched.

"Jiang Hongyu and Uncle have a good relationship." Chen Nan leaned against the door, "You guys are quite courageous, I can't hide it."

"I didn't want to hide either." Lu Xiao's voice was very clear even through the sound of the water.

"What do you mean?" Chen Nan frowned, "You want to tell Uncle?"

Lu Xiao: "Yes."

Chen Nan fell silent.

"You feel bad?" Lu Xiao asked.

"Lu Xiao, even if I know it, I can't accept it at the first time." Chen Nan's tone became serious, "Most of the so-called tolerance is based on the fact that it has nothing to do with you. Don't worry about it." I just want to swallow a big one in one gulp, don't make uncle uncomfortable."

"Are you feeling bad too?" Lu Xiao asked without answering.

Chen Nan stared at the floor: "Anyway, I was shocked and worried. The positions of friends and family members are always different, do you understand?"

"Chen Nan, do you want my dad to be kept in the dark like this, and make fun of Jiang Hongyu whenever he sees him?" Lu Xiao turned off the water and said in his direction, "I can't treat him like this, There is no way to treat Jiang Hongyu like this."

"Sexuality can't be changed. This person doesn't intend to change."