Greedy process

What Fu Shiyu got was a newspaper. At that time, the Internet was not yet developed, and the situation of a candidate being locked inside the house on the day of the college entrance examination did not cause much enthusiasm. It was just a small local newspaper that once published it as an anecdote about the college entrance examination. A small piece of text was posted, accompanied by a small blurry picture, and the circulation is estimated to be extremely small, and it has now ceased publication.

The ashtray on the table was full of cigarette butts. When Fu Shiyu went to get the cigarettes again, he found that the cigarette case was empty.He crushed the cigarette pack and threw it into the trash can, his eyes still glued to the newspaper.

He had read those hundreds of words over and over many times, they were all beautiful Chinese characters that he dealt with all day long, but now they seemed to have fangs, biting his eyes, but no one would give in.

The pixels of the picture are not high, and the black and white grid dots are faintly visible, but the outline of a person hanging in the building is vaguely seen, stuck in the anti-theft window, and half of his body falls below.Fu Shiyu stared at the black line on the side of the black figure's head, which was Cheng Shu's raised arm, holding something in his hand, like a baby, afraid of scratching it.

That hand was raised towards the sky, and Fu Shiyu touched it with his finger.Such a vague figure, but from that distorted posture, he felt the strong despair many years ago.

Fu Shiyu made a call to Huang He, and after dialing it, he realized that it was midnight, and just as he was about to hang up, Huang He had already picked it up, his voice sober.

Huang He asked, "Brother Fu? What's the matter?"

When Fu Shiyu opened his mouth, both of them were startled, his voice was so hoarse, Fu Shiyu took the cold water from the table and poured it down to get better.

Huang He didn't speak over there, as if he realized something, he quietly waited for Fu Shiyu to speak.

Fu Shiyu leaned on the back of the chair, the night outside the window was getting dark, he closed his eyes, and said, "Tell me about Cheng Shu at that time."

Huang He and Cheng Shu didn't have much contact, especially after the fight, Huang He probably felt ashamed to be broken into his relationship with his father, so he restrained himself a lot, and Fu Shiyu was always in a hurry. By Cheng Shu's side, Huang He didn't bother Cheng Shu anymore, his grades rose a lot in the third year of high school, and he jumped to the middle and upper reaches of the class, and the one at the top was always Cheng Shu.

In fact, there is nothing to say. Cheng Shu's state in the second semester of senior high school is not much different from Fu Shiyu's period before he transferred to another school, but he talked less, except for a few sentences mentioned by the teacher when the grades were announced or when he was asked questions during class. His presence couldn't be lower.

Because Huang He encountered Fu Shiyu and Cheng Shu's intimate behavior by chance, he knew more about their relationship than ordinary classmates. After Fu Shiyu transferred to another school without saying a word, how much did he care about Cheng Shu? God, but I didn't see anything unusual, and I didn't pay much attention to him after that. I just heard that he was late for the first round of the college entrance examination. Later, when the results of the college entrance examination came out, the whole class couldn't believe it, but because he had already graduated, There wasn't too much probing either.

Over the years, high school classmates held several class reunions, Huang He went there twice, and never encountered a process of neglect. The organizer said that the notification process was neglected twice, but he refused each time, probably because he failed the college entrance examination and was too embarrassed to come to see his boss. Classmates, gradually stopped calling him.

"That's all I know." Huang He said, "Is something wrong?"

Fu Shiyu listened quietly all the time, as if he wanted to touch the boy after he left from this rough narration.Fu Shiyu wanted to laugh, but he didn't, so he simply gave up: "It's okay, I'll take care of it myself, you can go to work."

Huang He didn't ask any more questions, and before hanging up, he said, "If you want to drink, you can call me."

Fu Shiyu said, "Okay."

When the phone was hung up and the room fell into silence again, Fu Shiyu looked at the screen that was still on and wanted to call Cheng Shu, but finally threw the phone on the table.

Cheng Shu went to the last class of this semester in the morning, and the next two weeks were review weeks, and the students would review and prepare for the exam by themselves.Cheng Shu didn't stay at school much, and drove home after class. Even though it seemed to outsiders that he was the same as usual, only he knew that he was so bored that he couldn't do anything.

Cheng Shu forced himself to work in the study all afternoon, and when the night gradually fell, Cheng Shu closed the computer and rubbed the center of his brows.He gave up fighting against himself.

Cheng Shu habitually took a book and sat on the sofa in the living room, paying attention to the movement at the door. Several hours passed, but the book did not turn a few pages, and Fu Shiyu did not come.

Cheng Shu stared at the clock on the wall and walked forward with pauses. The room was so quiet that only the sound of time passing could be heard.

When it was almost eleven o'clock, the phone rang suddenly to break the silence, and Cheng Shu violently tore the page into a crack of a few millimeters.Cheng Shu calmed down now, smoothed the wrinkles with his fingers, put the book on the table, and then picked up the phone.

Cheng Shu's voice was always cold: "What's wrong?"

Fu Shiyu smiled and said, "Come downstairs, baby."

Cheng Shudao: "Who is your baby?"

"You don't know my baby?" Fu Shiyu clicked his tongue, as if he felt very regretful, "My baby is called Cheng Cheng, she is fair, beautiful and has long legs, and she is not bald when she studies mathematics. Are you envious?"

Cheng Shu couldn't help touching the back of his head, and just about to choke back, Fu Shiyu said again: "I'll wait for you downstairs, Cheng Cheng."

Cheng Shu looked down from the window, Fu Shiyu leaned on the pillar of the pavilion and waved his phone at him, Cheng Shu's words were blocked in his chest, and finally he said helplessly, "Okay."

It had already entered summer, and the wind at night was also warm. The clear moon loomed from among the rustling leaves, and the moonlight shone on Fu Shiyu.

Fu Shiyu watched Cheng Shu walk over with a smile, picked up an insulated bucket from behind and stuffed it into his hand.

Cheng Shu asked, "What is this?"

Fu Shiyu said: "If you don't have dinner, treat it as dinner, and if you have dinner, treat it as supper."

Cheng Shu opened it, and there were all kinds of exquisite snacks inside. He was a little surprised: "You still have this skill?"

Fu Shiyu coughed: "For the time being...the aunt at home made it, so I brought a few here."

Cheng Shu closed the lid and pulled Fu Shiyu up to go into the building, but Fu Shiyu didn't move. Cheng Shu frowned and asked, "What's wrong?"

Fu Shiyu looked at him and said softly, "I won't go up yet. After you finish eating, I'll show you something."

Cheng Shu was silent for a few seconds, and said, "Fu Shiyu, about that matter, I..."

"Don't talk about it yet." Fu Shiyu interrupted him, "Tell me when you come back."

The two sat side by side on the bench, the vines on the roof of the corridor were densely climbing, and a few of them hung down to sweep Cheng Shu's back. A faint smile.

Cheng Shu asked, "What are you looking at me for?"

The obviously warm atmosphere, he immediately destroyed it as soon as he opened his mouth, his voice was cold and awkward.

Fu Shiyu couldn't help laughing, and said, "Do you like it?"

Cheng Shu stuffed the last bite of red bean cake into Shiyu's mouth, wiped his hands with a tissue, and said perfunctorily, "It's good. What do you want?"

The pastry was delicious, but Fu Shiyu's appetite was so high that Cheng Shu didn't have the time to savor it carefully, so he could only vaguely taste that it was okay.

Fu Shiyu suddenly reached out and touched his face cautiously. His expression seemed a little nervous. Cheng Shu froze for a moment, reached out to grab Fu Shiyu's hand, and lowered his voice: "Fu Shiyu."

Fu Shiyu came back to his senses, erased the subtle tension, and stood up with a smile: "Let's go."

Reeds grew densely on the bank of the rarely visited river, densely covering the edge of the water, Fu Shiyu led Cheng Shu along slowly, the sound of wind blowing and water flowing could be faintly heard, but there was nothing else.The surroundings were dim, and there was no other light except for the glowing lights of a row of trees not far away.

Cheng Shu saw a few dark shadows running away quietly in the distance, Fu Shiyu turned his head to look at him: "Let Lu You and the others help me guard here, although no one usually comes, in case someone is curious about your luck It's not good to go."

Cheng Shu hummed, and didn't ask any more questions, but held Fu Shiyu's hand tightly.

As the distance shortens, the blurred clusters of light gradually show clear lines.Fu Shiyu let go of Cheng Shu and walked under the first tree. The fluorescent light illuminated his face and reflected in his pupils. Cheng Shu looked at him well and couldn't look away.

Fu Shiyu said softly: "I went abroad after the college entrance examination that year, and the transition went smoothly. My brother was also there and had many friends. But in the first year, I didn't have much interest in going out. It’s been pretty normal, and there’s not much to say.”

Following his words, Cheng Shu's eyes fell on the board hanging from the tree trunk. The luminous pen drew smooth and simple lines, and a cartoon villain looked up at the tall teaching building of the old castle.Fu Shiyu led Cheng Shu to the next tree. The villain was sitting in front of the desk, with a pile of financial symbols on the left side of his head and astrophysics on the right.

"When I was 19, I minored in physics, and I always thought of you in class. I thought, maybe you are listening to the same thing as me in class somewhere. Before that, I had already I seldom think of you, and only indulge myself in unscrupulous speculation in that short hour or so."

When they came to the third tree, snow was falling on the boards. "When I was 20 years old, there was a lot of snow in London in the winter. I was obsessed with photography during that time. I wandered the streets with my camera every day. Finally, I chose a picture of the most satisfying snow scene, printed it as a postcard, and sent it to China. , with your name written on it, but the address blurred out."

Cheng Shu followed Fu Shiyu forward without saying a word. There was an extra person on the next picture, but the facial features were not outlined, and it was blank. The two villains were holding hands together, which was very ambiguous.

Cheng Shu was touched by Fu Shiyu's palm, and Fu Shiyu held him tightly: "When I was 21 years old, I had a second boyfriend in my life. It wasn't serious, but it wasn't a joke either. We have been together for almost a year, and the relationship is okay. Later, he graduated and returned to China, and I stayed in the UK and broke up peacefully."

In the fifth picture, the villain is lying on the hospital bed with a bitter face, his legs are hoisted high, and he looks seriously injured.

"When I was 22 years old, I played crazy. I had nothing to worry about when I was single. I played like a fool every day. But this injury was not caused by racing, otherwise I would have been ridiculed by Lu You until I was 80 or 30 years old. After going through In an ordinary car accident, I saved my life, and I was lucky to have no arms or legs, but I just lay on the hospital bed for more than a month, which is the most serious injury I have suffered in the past [-] years."

In the sixth picture, the villain shakes his head, surrounded by words such as "stream of consciousness", "existentialism" and "deconstruction".Fu Shiyu said with a smile: "Maybe it's because I had a close contact with death for a while, and then I was too bored lying on the hospital bed, which gave birth to a little thinking about life, and I became interested in literature. When I was a master, I simply switched to the direction of literature. I followed a well-known Sinologist to do research. But interest is one thing, and actual research is another, so the first year was quite hard, and I almost overturned the table after reading the literature many times."

The seventh picture shows a car standing on a cliff, facing a waterfall rolling down.Fu Shiyu said: "Buried in the sea of ​​books for more than a year, I figured it out a bit. When I was 24 years old, I traveled to South America alone. I followed the route of He Baorong and Li Yaohui in "Happy Together" in Buenos Aires. Ellis stayed for a while, and then went to see the Iguazu Falls. In fact, at that time, I scoffed at the words "we should start from scratch", but I was fascinated and wanted to see it."

In the eighth picture, the villain is standing in front of the bookshelf, holding a physics book in his hand. "When I was 25 years old when I returned to China, I happened to look through the bookshelf at home and found something very old. On the nine pages of No.70 in the physics textbook, there was a little pig's head that you scribbled back then. I took out all the textbooks, sat on the floor and flipped through them one by one, secretly wondering if every line and word was related to you. It was many years later that I thought of you again, but at that time I already had a new boyfriend. My friend, I put those books back after flipping through them, and never touched them again for many years."

The ninth picture is only the back of the villain, with a sharp knife hanging above his head. "It was not very good at the age of 26. In just half a year, my grandpa and grandma passed away one after another. When they passed away, one was 79 and the other was 81. It is considered a long life, but this kind of thing, no matter how perfect the survivors will feel, I didn’t stay in China for too long before returning to the UK to prepare my graduation thesis. Although I already knew that the human heart was sinister at that time, I didn’t understand the lower limit of human nature thoroughly, so that I was directly plagiarized by my classmate and roommate. All the research results were published quickly. Speaking of which, I have to thank him for committing the crime and I was half a year away from my graduation, so he could change the topic in a hurry. I beat him to death, Fu Shizhang was not happy, and Beat him half to death with your own hands."

Fu Shiyu reached out and touched the brushstrokes on the wooden board, leaving a faint light on his fingertips. The little man was sitting on the plane, looking down through the porthole, and the entire Zecheng territory was looming. "When I was 27 years old, I returned to China, entered Zeda College of Letters, and became a small lecturer. I moved out of my home and bought a small apartment by myself. At this time, I felt that I was really old. I have taken care of my health, I go to teach every day, and my life is very regular. I was just curious to try this career and life, but I found that I really like it, so I don’t plan to change it in a short time.”

In the No.11 picture, the villain is grinning ferociously and ravaging the rose in his hand. Fu Shiyu smiled and nodded: "The emotionally victorious general encountered Waterloo at the age of 28. Gu Nian's grandson was begging for nothing to pursue me. I Seeing that he looked good, I agreed to give it a try. As a result, just after the [-]th anniversary, I realized that he was a goddamn man. Fortunately, I became a vegetarian at this age, and then I packed the grandson and threw it to him. His brother, I don't know what exactly happened, anyway, Gu Nian didn't go out for a week, and until now he hates me so much that he gnashes his teeth."

Cheng Shu asked back, "Vegetarian?"

Fu Shiyu immediately shook his head: "The circle of meat and vegetables is a circle, and it changes once a day. I like meat now, the kind with big fish and meat, and the circle is locked, so I can't change it."

Cheng Shu smiled, didn't talk nonsense with him, and took the initiative to pull Fu Shiyu towards the next tree, looking at the complicated and intertwined lines on it.Fu Shiyu said: "At the age of 29, I have been very stable throughout the year, forming a very regular biological clock and daily life, which is a little richer than three o'clock and one line."

Cheng Shu looked at the densely packed dozens of lines: "It's quite rich, your routine covers the entire Zecheng, right?"

"It's okay." Fu Shiyu smiled and threw the pot away, "Actually, most of the time, I don't like to go out and wander. I'm Lu You's grandson. I'm single and loves to run wild. I was forced to be a prostitute and had no choice. visit."

In the last picture, the villain was walking slowly with a few threads wrapped around his body. On the other edge of the picture, there was a blurry figure. Cheng Shu pursed his lips and looked at it. He knew it was himself.

Fu Shiyu leaned on his shoulders from behind: "After more than ten years, I finally reached the age of 30. This year, people around me are very enthusiastic about introducing their partners, especially my mother. Boys and girls are exchanged. Come on. My career was okay, and I was rated as an associate professor, but these things are not important. The important thing is that when I was 30 years old, I met the boy I liked when I was 17 years old. However, at that time we separated It was still far away, I only had time to look at him, and it was not pleasant, that was a beginning."

Fu Shiyu led Cheng Shu to continue walking, only then did Cheng Shu find that there was still a board on the next tree, but there was no drawing on it.

"I'm 31 years old this year. I'm very grateful that you are by my side." Fu Shiyu looked at Cheng Shu and said softly, "I didn't listen to you and went to understand some things selfishly. Give it all to you."

Cheng Shu didn't speak for a long time, and when he finally suppressed the soreness in his nasal cavity, he said: "You draw so much in a day, and your hands are not useless?"

Fu Shiyu laughed, there was nothing he could do about his stubbornness: "Don't worry, it's absolutely fine to have sex."

Cheng Shu turned his head away, listening to the cold and heartless voice: "Don't be a hooligan."

Fu Shiyu hugged him with a smile, rubbed his cheek against Cheng Shu's ear, and found that it was extremely hot.The chests of the two were pressed together, and Fu Shiyu listened to the heartbeat of the two, and a choked sob suddenly appeared in his throat that had been suppressed all day.

"I know what you're worried about. You don't want me to feel that I'm responsible for those things, and you don't want me to regret what I didn't do."

"That has nothing to do with you..."

"Just for a while." Fu Shiyu interrupted him, "Let me be angry with myself for a while."

Fu Shiyu actually had a lot to say.He knew that Cheng Shu was independent, and knew that Cheng Shu never needed help from others, but it was always Fu Shiyu's business to treat Cheng Shu well.

Cheng Shu's failure to recommend has little to do with Fu Shiyu, but Fu Shiyu thought that if he had been willing to help Cheng Shu back then, and if Cheng Shu had gotten the recommended spot, he might not have experienced the pain that followed And desperate, he will be admitted to the top university that he has always dreamed of, instead of being restricted by the first degree even entering a project team.

But Fu Shiyu didn't. He watched others bully Cheng Shu coldly.Fu Shiyu couldn't think about it.

After all, Fu Shiyu didn't say much.