Greedy process

Cheng Shu walked out of the classroom after class and stopped at the door. Fu Shiyu was standing outside the classroom waiting for him, without the usual smile on his face, looking a little indifferent.

Fu Shiyu said, "I want to talk to you."

The students next to him came and went, Cheng Shu nodded, Fu Shiyu turned and left first, and Cheng Shu followed.

There was no one on the roof of the building, and the sun shone on the floor, casting a large shadow. Cheng Shu didn't pay attention to his feet, and stumbled over the rocks. Fu Shiyu stopped when he heard the sound, looked back at him, and said nothing. What.

Cheng Shu asked, "What's the matter?"

His voice was so hoarse that Fu Shiyu felt a little irritable. He took out a cigarette and rubbed it between his hands without lighting it.

"Some time ago I said I wanted to talk to you, but you didn't want to, so I didn't say anything." Fu Shiyu said, "This is the last time."

"In the beginning, I was really out of my mind. I'm sorry for you. In fact, I thought about it later. I don't blame you for what happened back then. I can understand your concerns. Moreover, you didn't get the recommendation quota at that time. How should I put it?" Fu Shiyu paused, "I've always felt guilty."

Cheng Shu frowned: "It has nothing to do with you."

Fu Shiyu looked down at the flow of people downstairs: "It doesn't matter if you don't talk about the past, what I want to talk about is the present. I confess to you frankly that I like you very much and want to continue to develop a relationship with you. "

Cheng Shu didn't speak.

"But this kind of thing can't be done by one person. Besides," Fu Shiyu looked at Cheng Shu, "I don't have that much perseverance. If I bump into the south wall once or twice, I won't be convinced. If I bump into it three times, I will think about it." Changed the road."

"So, this is the last time."

Cheng Shu asked hoarsely, "Why are you telling me this?"

Fu Shiyu smiled and said, "Maybe it's because of the sloppy separation back then, and I always feel a little regretful. If it's going to end this time, I hope it can be more formal and explain everything clearly."

Before Fu Shiyu left, he said, "Cheng Shu, the last choice is left to you. No matter what the result is, I will accept it."

After Fu Shiyu had left for a long time, Cheng Shu left from the rooftop. He suffered from severe headaches and had double images in front of his eyes when he was walking, but he pursed his lips and insisted on going to the parking lot. When he got into the car, his shirt His back was drenched in cold sweat.

Cheng Shu closed his eyes and let out a breath. After his heartbeat calmed down and the darkness in front of his eyes gradually dissipated, he started the car and drove out of the parking lot at a slow speed.

After returning home, Cheng Shu took out the fever-reducing medicine, mixed it with cold water on the table and drank it, then went to bed, covered the quilt over his head, and his back was sweating layer by layer, whether it was cold sweat or hot sweat.

He fell asleep, and slept very restlessly again. After being awakened by the nightmare, he didn't move for a long time.After a while, Cheng Shu got out of bed and found the tattered doll from his bag, as if he had found something that reassured him, and he relaxed a lot.

Before taking it out, Cheng Shu frowned suddenly and stopped.Next to the muffin hung a new doll, Cheng Shu had seen it in Fu Shiyu's hands not long ago, it was a beast he bought in Qishan.

So, Cheng Shu clasped the edge of the table tightly, and Fu Shiyu saw it.The futility he had covered up for many years had already been spread out in front of Fu Shiyu.

Cheng Shu went to the guest room barefoot, and the quilt was neatly folded on the head of the bed, which was made when Fu Shiyu stayed overnight last time.

Cheng Shu leaned against the bed and sat on the floor, quietly looking at the post-it note pasted on the bedside table, on which was a picture of a little man who was sleeping soundly, with a sweet smile on his lips, still talking in his dreams, Fu Shiyu's chic words filled the bubbles, "I like... Cheng Cheng..."

In the past, Fu Shiyu said that the meaning of sparse characters is not good. Let me call you Cheng Cheng. Mountains, rivers, and rivers show that there is still a long, long way to go.No one has called him this way for more than ten years, and then he is in his 30s, and such a title is already very inappropriate.

Cheng Shu buried his face in his lap, the night outside the window had fallen, it was raining, and the room was dark and empty, as if there was no one there.

Fu Shiyu drove to see Xiang Du, who was still dressed in the same clothes as when he came, with a big bag on his back.He stayed in Zecheng for only a week, and he didn't know when he would come back next time.

There was a lot of voices in the waiting hall, Fu Shiyu asked, "Where are you going this time?"

Xiang Du shook his head: "Let's go ahead and talk about it. Wherever you go, you will be where you are."

Fu Shiyu looked at the heavy rain in Zecheng outside the window and wanted to say something, but in the end he didn't say anything.Xiang Du also understood those things, so there was no need to repeat them.

The radio began to broadcast the ticket inspection information, and Xiang Du waved to Fu Shiyu, unrestrainedly: "Let's go."

Fu Shiyu nodded, watching Xiang Du mix into the crowd, check the ticket and enter the station.He was born in the city, but he is as free as the wind, and any excessive farewell seems sensational.

Zecheng had gradually entered summer, and there was more rain. Fu Shiyu smoked one cigarette in the car, took out the second one and put it in again, and found that his addiction to cigarettes had become a little heavy recently.

Lu You asked, "Xiang Du left?"

Fu Shiyu hummed, and the rain outside the window was pattering. After a while, Lu You said with a smile: "When you say goodbye to this grandson, you have to be careful not to say goodbye every time."

Before Fu Shiyu could say anything, Lu You said, "There's still a meeting here, let's hang up first."

The rain dimmed the roadside lights into colorful circles of light. Fu Shiyu stared at them for a while, then drove home.

Fu Shiyu stopped when he got out of the elevator, and Cheng Shu was waiting for him at the door.Fu Shiyu paused for a few seconds, opened the door and said to Cheng Shu, "Come in."

Cheng Shu's body smelled of rain, and more of alcohol.Fu Shiyu threw the key on the cabinet, and Cheng Shu suddenly grabbed his wrist. Fu Shiyu stopped and waited quietly for Cheng Shu to speak.

"Actually... I've always wanted to say sorry to you." Cheng Shu's voice was still hoarse, and a little drunk, "At that time, I shouldn't have doubted you like that, I was just, just too afraid of something going wrong... ..."

He spoke a little confusedly, as if he was drunk, he opened his mouth with difficulty: "A few days ago, I shouldn't have said that."

Fu Shiyu turned around and looked at Cheng Shu's drooping eyelashes: "That's all?"

Cheng Shu's hand clenched tightly, and Fu Shiyu gave a cold smile, which sounded like a thunderbolt to Cheng Shu's ears. He suddenly reached out and pushed Fu Shiyu against the wall, and kissed him stiffly.

Fu Shiyu let Cheng Shu move, and when the cold kiss ended, neither of them moved at all, Fu Shiyu asked calmly, "What do you mean?"

Cheng Shu's expression was tense, but he took Fu Shiyu's hand and stretched it into his clothes. The smell of alcohol spread between the two of them. Fu Shiyu withdrew his hand without hesitation: "Please explain clearly first."

"That's what it means." Cheng Shu's eyes turned red.

"Okay, I'll speak for you." Fu Shiyu said, "I let you make a choice before, but now that you are like this, you want to be with me, right?"

After a while, Cheng Shu nodded.

Fu Shiyu looked at him quietly, there was silence for a moment, only the sound of rain, then Fu Shiyu pulled Cheng Shu's hand away, and said coldly, "I don't want to."

Cheng Shu raised his eyes in disbelief.

Fu Shiyu was so indifferent: "Cheng Shu, I know better than you whether you are drunk or not. Is it interesting to confess to me by pulling a drunkard's fig leaf? Otherwise, you will be speechless? Do you think With the reason of being drunk in the way, one day you will regret it and turn your face against others?"

Cheng Shu didn't speak, but the previous drunkenness subsided.

Fu Shiyu opened the door: "I don't accept any ambiguous answers, and I'll talk about them when you can face me clearly."

When Cheng Shu left, Fu Shiyu closed the door and suddenly felt a little boring. He thought, feelings are really something that can't be tolerated, it's not that he doesn't like it anymore, it's just that the enthusiasm is gradually being worn away.

Until two or three o'clock in the middle of the night, Fu Shiyu was still awake. He was cold and resolute when he let Cheng Shu go out, but now he was a little worried.

The rain outside the window was still falling, mixed with lightning and thunder, and the wind was howling. Fu Shiyu sat up, snored a handful of hair irritably, wandered around the room for a while, and finally opened the door by a strange coincidence.

At first, he didn't really understand what he wanted to go out to check, but when he turned his head and saw Cheng Shu sitting on the stairs, the faint anxiety in his heart became clear.

Fu Shiyu was so angry that this man could torment himself as well as him, and he looked a little angrily when he said, "What are you doing here?"

Cheng Shu was sitting on the stairs, looking at Fu Shiyu quietly, her beautiful eyes were dark.Under Fu Shiyu's gaze, he got up and walked down the stairs slowly, with his usual indifferent expression: "Now we can talk."

Fu Shiyu mocked, "Are you sober this time?"

Cheng Shu nodded, and just about to speak, Fu Shiyu turned around and entered the room, turned around and said viciously, "Still coming in?"

Cheng Shu walked into the room and saw Fu Shiyu rummaging through boxes and cabinets in the living room. He was obviously in a bad mood, with anger in his movements, he took out the medicine and threw it into Cheng Shu's arms.

Cheng Shu put the medicine on the table: "I'm fine."

"Save your broken voice for serious business." Fu Shiyu glanced at him, "Don't babble so much, or you'll go to the hospital."

As he spoke, he entered the bedroom, went to get a blanket from the closet, and turned around to find Cheng Shu standing at the door with a somewhat gloomy expression.

"Two months." Cheng Shu said suddenly, "If it's not suitable, we will separate."

"You fucking..."

Fu Shiyu scolded halfway, and Cheng Shu interrupted him: "It's not for me, it's for you. If you don't think it's suitable at that time, you can separate."

"Otherwise?" Fu Shiyu said, "Aren't contemporary young people locked together for the rest of their lives when they fall in love? What if they don't break up if it's not suitable? Do you need to take it out and set a deadline?"

Cheng Shu was stunned for a moment, seemingly confused for a moment: "Really?"

Fu Shiyu took a blanket and wrapped Cheng Shu from head to toe, and did not let go of his hands on his shoulders. The depression in his body subsided, he sighed, and said softly: "Okay, now I want to Listen to your answer."

Cheng Shu looked away, moved his lips, but didn't make any sound.

Fu Shiyu said seriously: "There are only two of us here. Whether you want to cry or laugh, or scold someone, only the two of us can hear it. Cheng Shu, open up to me, and I won't laugh at you." .”

Cheng Shu grasped the edge of the blanket tightly, his previously cold body warmed up now, he licked his lips nervously, his Adam's apple rolled, and finally said angrily, "I've already said it, two months."

"That doesn't count." Fu Shiyu stared at him relentlessly, "I want to hear you say it formally, and tell me what you think."

Cheng Shudao: "Didn't you already know?"

"No," Fu Shiyu still didn't let him go, "I want you to say it yourself."

"Cheng Shu, there is nothing wrong with us. There is nothing wrong with you liking me, or liking any other man or woman, but if you don't want others to know, we don't have to tell them. It doesn't matter. But, you can't hide it from me, you You can't even say you love me," Fu Shiyu said, "I care about this, Cheng Shu."

Half of Cheng Shu's face was buried in the soft blanket, his head was bowed deeply, showing a rare helplessness.Fu Shiyu looked at him and suddenly regretted it.Cheng Shu always had hard thorns all over his body, like a bush of thorns, as if nothing could hurt him, Fu Shiyu thought, maybe I shouldn't force him like this.At this moment, he still couldn't see Cheng Shu's sadness at all.

Just as Fu Shiyu was about to speak, Cheng Shu finally spoke, hoarsely as if bloody: "I have always... always wanted to be with you."

His body was trembling slightly, Fu Shiyu never knew that he was so worthless, and his eyes were easily reddened by a single sentence.Fu Shiyu finally stretched out his hand to hug Cheng Shu, and said softly, "You know how long I've been waiting."

The sound of rain outside the window, the warm light in the room, Cheng Shu's body was hot, Fu Shiyu frowned, but was pulled down by Cheng Shu forcefully, the corners of Cheng Shu's eyes were a little red, but he never shed a single tear .

Fu Shiyu rubbed the corners of his eyes with some dissatisfaction, and said with a low smile, "You're awake now, right? I'm scared of being tormented by you..."

Cheng Shu's breath was hot on Fu Shiyu's bare shoulders, and his voice was hoarse: "You call me by my name."

Fu Shiyu shouted obediently: "Cheng Shu."

Cheng Shu was dissatisfied, and still said: "You call me."

Fu Shiyu suddenly realized what he was looking forward to, and a sour feeling surged in his chest. He rubbed Cheng Shu's forehead affectionately, and shouted, "Cheng Cheng."

Cheng Shu closed his eyes and hummed softly.