I surrender my foe with a kiss

It was early morning when Xiao Ci got home.

There were no more buses or subways. He walked along the street lights in the heavy rain for an indeterminate amount of time before he caught a taxi.

The phone has long been out of battery, but luckily he brought some change.

As soon as I got home, I collapsed on the bed, tightly curled up in the quilt.

cold, cold...

I squeezed the corner of the quilt hard, but it was still cold.

In addition to cold, there is no other feeling.I don't feel hungry even if I haven't eaten all day.

Shaking, Xiao Ci charged the phone, and when the phone screen lit up, he found that there were more than a dozen missed calls on the phone, maxing out the entire screen.

It was all from Cheng Huan.

After hesitating for a moment, he still dialed the number.

After a long waiting tone, as soon as the call was connected, he shouted: "Xiao Ci, is that you, degaussing?!"

Xiao Ci almost reflexively made up the image of Cheng Huan staring at the mobile phone under the covers.

"...Hmm." Xiao Ci's eyelids were heavy, and he responded muffledly.

"It's good to be home, it's good to be home," the boy's voice sighed unceasingly, "Mom, you melon boy is going to scare me to death, do you know how worried I am about you. If you don't answer the phone again It's time to call the police~" Xiao Ci lay on the bed, quietly listening to the boy's local accent, he stretched his hands above his head, and the dim light overflowed from between his fingers.Xiao Ci blinked and twitched the corners of his mouth lightly.

"...Are you listening? Don't tell me that you are asleep." After calming down, Cheng Huan's accent changed to Mandarin.

"Well, I'm listening..." Xiao Ci murmured softly, "Is there anything else?"

"... go to bed early."

"Ah."

"Cover it thicker, don't catch a cold."

"Ah."

"Well, tomorrow's math homework...let me copy it."

really!

"I think you are doing well," Xiao Ci snorted, "I will give you a month's homework for all subjects."

"Wow! Long live, Xiao Ci, I love you so much, give me a kiss~" Even though the phone is far away, it still does not hinder Cheng Huan's loud voice, which made Xiao Ci get goose bumps.

Xiao Ci: "Get lost."

Cheng Huan: "Obey, boss!"

"..."

This night he slept very restlessly, Xiao Ci's body was hot and cold, tossing and turning, he was obviously sweating, but still shivering.

Slowly, he fell into one long and bizarre dream after another.In the dream, there is no longer rain and cold.The sun was shining brightly there, the spring grass was rolling, and the air was filled with the sweet scent of wildflowers.

That was the hill in his hometown. With his bare feet, he climbed up the tree to pick elm money. My elder brother was timid, so he looked up at him under the tree.He sat on the branch of the tree and picked off a bunch of elm money, as if he knew something, he threw it to his brother without thinking about eating it.The elder brother stretched out his little hand to pick it up, put it in his mouth to taste, holding his little face so sweet that his tongue curled up.

The dream was very vague, he couldn't remember his brother's appearance anymore, he only vaguely remembered the sound of his brother's laugh, very soft, never grinning like him, always shy, like the warm wind on the hills in spring.

But soon, as has happened countless times over the years, all the dreams point to the same ending.He propped it up with his clothes, and picked a handful of elm coins.When he turned around and called "Brother" with a smile, the toddler in the dream had disappeared.

The upright weeds have no trace of people standing there.And the elm money he threw to his brother was lying on the ground untouched.

The green mountains are empty, stretching into the distance.

He froze for a moment, climbed down from the tree, and stood there blankly for a while, feeling lost.

Wiping the corners of his eyes, he went home.

……

Xiao Ci was lying on the bed, frowning tightly, his chest seemed to be pressed hard by a big rock, making him unable to breathe at all.

He was panting violently, breathing desperately, his hands clutching the quilt were convulsed, sweat dripped from his hair, drop by drop, wet the entire pillow.

"elder brother…"

Xiao Ci woke up from his sleep, as if he had been dreaming for a century, he was so exhausted that he didn't even have the strength to lift his eyelids.

His heart was beating wildly, and in the long night, boundless loneliness flooded in for a moment, and his heart was frighteningly empty. It was a feeling he was very familiar with: regret, regret like cutting out a heart with a knife.

The maggots of the tarsal bone break the liver and intestines.

For so many years, he tried his best to control himself not to think, not to think, but now his psychological defense finally collapsed.If he hadn't asked his brother to buy popsicles for him that day, none of this would have happened, would it?My brother will not get lost, my father will not die, my mother will not die, and my grandma will not die... At the age of 15, he should be studying with his brother in an ordinary high school in Jiange, his hometown. After graduation, work and marriage Give birth to children, and provide for their parents together until the end of their lives.Supporting each other, arguing, living an ordinary life like countless brothers.Instead of being like now, he was left alone, wandering in a strange city, struggling to maintain the last line between brothers, the fetters of blood that had been severed by a knife since he was four years old.

The thread was too thin, too thin, and he was afraid that if he let go, his brother would be swept away by the wind like a kite with a broken thread, and disappear into the high sky.

Brother, in this life, can I see you again?

Countless times, countless times, countless times are asking, the answer that will never wait.

I don't know when the rain has stopped, the washed sky is exceptionally clear, and there are stars in the dark night.When Xiao Ci raised his head, what fell into his eyes was the sky full of desolate stars, twinkling and shining like silver nails.

"Although you can't see him, when the sun rises, you are bathed in the same morning breeze; when the night is quiet, he is also looking up at the same starry sky with you. Baby, you have to believe that when you miss him At that time, he must also love you deeply." Thinking of his mother's words again after a few months, Xiao Ci gritted his teeth, almost gnashing his teeth, and forcefully forced the tears into tears. went back.

If you can't find it in one day, it will be two days, if you can't find it in a year, it will be two years, three years, five years, ten years...

In the worst case, find him to grow old, find him to die, if there is no chance to see him again in this life, we will always be brothers again in the next life.

After all, he was the one who would change shoes for him at the age of four...