If you bend me, you have to be responsible for me

Just after May, the days in Rongcheng are cloudy and sunny.In this basin, as long as the weather is a little better, the streets are full of beauties with belly buttons and long legs.A foreign teacher once asked me why people in Chengdu are so strange. When the sun comes out, everyone goes out to sit in teahouses. What’s so strange about the sun?It was National Day when he asked this question, and he had been in Chengdu for less than a month.The weather was surprisingly nice those days.After staying for a few months, he already knew the reason, so one day in December, when he was in class, the winter sun struggled to squeeze out the haze, revealing a little bit, and then more, when it finally illuminated the whole earth , when we could feel the sunshine outside in the classroom, he said: "The sun is out, let's finish class early to feel the sunshine!" The students were naturally happy, but someone kindly reminded that it is only 10:30 [-]. If you don't attend class, the teaching office finds out that it is a teaching accident, and the teacher is responsible, but this foreigner doesn't care. He just tells us that the good weather should not be let down.I always remember that day, because I envy that foreign teacher can do what he wants without restraint, and we grow up more and more timid.

Today's sun is a bit like that day's. Although it is May now, and although I have graduated for almost a year, the sun is still lazy as if to remind me that there may be something going on today.

Right now, I’m sitting in the Starbucks opposite Wangfujing, by the window, a must-choice place for young people, waiting for someone.

I have been looking at the door, and I haven't seen her for almost a year. Since graduation, the photos in Moments have become the only way to witness everyone's growth.Jiang Xue pushed the door and came in. She lost weight, she was also thin before, but now she became thinner more obviously.She cut her hair short again, she put on makeup, and her technique became more and more skillful, unlike when we went to Wenshu Monastery before, she couldn't even draw eyeliner well.She sat down.

"Long time no see." She smiled, she looks so pretty when she smiles, and she has always been pretty, based on my appreciation level, I always think she is pretty, except when I didn't know her well, at that time I thought she was always pretending.

"haven't seen you for a long time."

"How are you doing lately? With your jealous king?" Although we haven't seen each other for a year, we have a lot of contact. She is a complete rotten girl. She has been instilling me since her sophomore year. She would rather not find a boyfriend than herself. I do not have a boyfriend.

"Very well, I will send you a post when I get married." I replied confidently.

"Bah, shameless." She laughed at me. "Can you not abuse the dog? I have been eating dog food for you two for so long, can you respect independent single women."

"Tsk tsk, why do you still look so meaningless? After all, you are also a graduate student of a famous 985 college, can't you restrain yourself a little?" I laughed at her.

"I'm leaving." She said it suddenly, and then cried. This girl is like this, with uncertain weather. One second she was still laughing, laughing backwards and forwards, and the next second she could cry immediately, with tears in her eyes and pain.

"Where are you going? Go out and play?"

"I'm going to study in Hong Kong, master's degree, re-study." She cried sadly.

I was a little shocked and asked, "Why did you suddenly decide to leave? Did you change direction?"

"Yu Siqi, do you know how hard it is for me to keep up with my current mentor?" She raised her head and asked me with tears in her eyes.

"I know." I reached out and handed her a tissue.

I do know.The world of colleges and universities is not as isolated from the outside world as it is said. After all, there are only so many resources, and the expansion of enrollment is increasing year by year. If you want to have good resources, you must be excellent or have a strong background.When I was writing my graduation thesis in my senior year, my supervisor accidentally knew that I had the intention of going to graduate school with the school, so he gave me some pointers and told me that if I really planned to go on in academia, my future supervisor would largely determine my future career in the industry. status.The same principle is perfect for Jiang Xue.

"In the summer, I insisted on crossing 300 kilometers a week, 600 kilometers back and forth, and went to his two classes a day a week. Even my aunt had dysmenorrhea. I don't understand the bullshit literary theory at all, just to ask a question in his eyes that is an idiot at the end of each class, and then impress him." She took my tissue and wiped her spouting out of tears.

"I admit that my purpose was not pure at the beginning. At the beginning, I just wanted to sell myself wholeheartedly. I didn't have that much love for this subject. But his class was really good, and it was easy to understand. I read those three or four Fogelin’s theory that I never understood, Russell’s theory of reference, and Lakoff, you don’t know how interesting they all become in the end.” During the conversation, she had already changed a tissue, but she still couldn’t stop her decision. Dike's tears.

"A year ago, he added a class, specially added, saying that in order to thank everyone for sticking to his class for a semester, he added an introduction to Chinese and Western philosophy himself, so that we can listen to it if we are willing." She paused. , continued: "At that time, I thought I had already listened to so many lectures anyway, and I didn't care about the last one, so I ran 300 kilometers again and sat in his class on time. He was very happy when he walked in, a 60-year-old The old professor bowed to us, thanked us for coming to his class, and said that we saw the hope of the future of this nation in us, because this is a non-mandatory class, not even a class. More like It was a popular science lecture. He told us that Hegel said that if a nation does not have a group of people who look up at the stars, the nation has no hope. He said that he saw hope in us, and we are those who look up at the stars. In fact, the people who attended that day There were less than 60 people, and more than [-] people took this course."

Jiang Xue wiped her tears vigorously, took out the air cushion BB, turned on the mirror, and asked me: "Do you think I'm very hypocritical?"

"You fucking hypocritical, do you need me to say it?" I teased her, but I know that she is such a person, and what she said is also true, I can't help but feel sorry for the multi-faceted her in front of me.

"You know, my mentor said that I am very suitable for learning this." She began to laugh again, "You don't know, when I first chose him as a mentor, my mood was like winning the lottery. There are too many, all kinds of self-recommended emails, and all kinds of ideas trying to find a way to give gifts. I also talked about it once before, but I was not sure at the time. Later, I learned that he is not very social. Afraid of self-defeating, just let it go, resign to fate. In the end, he really remembered me. He remembered that I had argued with him. Deliberate ones can no longer be brought up deliberately."

"When did you decide to leave?" I asked her, to be honest, I don't know how I feel at the moment, I just feel aggrieved, so aggrieved.

"I've been thinking about it, it's not like you don't know about my family."

"Do you think I'm cheap? While I applied for the school, I feel that it's not easy for me to study here." She laughed.

"Your personality has always been split, and it's not the first day I've known you." I tried to say something lighter to adjust the atmosphere.

"You are always laughing one second and crying the next. The weather is uncertain, and the things you like change every three days. You must have made a lot of determination to go to school this time, but it doesn't matter, after all, change There are many ways to make money in majors, unlike us who have to learn from the sea in the future. Moreover, the market in Hong Kong is good, the environment is open, and there are many opportunities. By then, you will become an investment banker who dominates the business world. I am still waiting for the glory .”

"Yu Siqi, really, I think I'm too fake. While I want to make money so that my mother can stop worrying about me, I also want to really become the person my mentor said, the kind of person who looks up at the stars and leads the nation forward. .” She repeatedly patted her head with her hands.

"Don't you have to be down-to-earth when looking up at the starry sky? At worst, you can come back and look at it after earning enough money. Then you can look wherever you want. The whole world is yours, so you're afraid of it."

"Yu Siqi, I think life is too fucked up, really." She looked very helpless, looking out of the window with erratic eyes, "If only I could go back to five years ago, I will definitely change my major, don't study this, major It's a pity to concentrate on being an ordinary person, the older you get, the more hypocritical you become."

That's right, I can't go back.

It was past seven o'clock in the evening when I got home.When he stopped at the entrance to change shoes, he had already hugged my waist from behind.

"Don't make trouble." I scolded.

"Are you blaming me for going out with Jiang Xue?" He rubbed against my back.

"You know, she is leaving to study in Hong Kong."

"When did it happen?" He was obviously still taken aback when he heard the news.

"Recently, she specifically told me that she wanted to go quietly and be clean." After changing my shoes, I walked to the living room, and he kept sticking to me, like a giant doll.

"Look, Beijing, Shanghai, Hong Kong, in the end I was the only one left."

The big doll turned over my body, and I put my chin on his shoulder. He rubbed my hair and comforted me: "Is Brother Dang dead? Isn't Brother here all the time?"

The author has something to say:

This is my own story, written to my friends, and also to my university. The deepest feeling of staying in this city alone is that there is no heat to accompany me to skip class every now and then to eat delicious food.