Old Gong is 12 years younger than me

After Jiang and other stories were told, Xiao Ke remained silent for a long time.

They had already returned to the hotel, Jiang Yubie was lying on the sofa with his arms folded over his eyes, as if he was asleep, while Xiao Ke was sitting on the carpet next to him, looking at a certain place in front of him, not knowing What are you thinking.

The room was very quiet, except for the 'whirring' sound from the air conditioner, you couldn't even hear the sound of breathing.

Xiao Ke knew that Jiang and Bie were crying, and he wanted to cry too, for Jiang Li, for Jiang and Bie, and for the brotherhood between them.

No wonder Jiang and others are in a bad mood every New Year's Eve. They don't even want to say a word. No wonder he doesn't want to celebrate the New Year. To him, the New Year is like hanging a guillotine on his head. He can't forget Jiang Li, let alone Jiang From the picture of jumping off the roof.

Xiao Ke thought, the moment Jiang Li jumped down, did he know that Jiang Yubie was standing downstairs?Did you hear Jiang Yubie calling him?

He probably doesn't know, he likes his brother so much, should he be willing to let him see such a cruel scene?

One day and one night on the top of the school building, no one knew what Jiang Li was thinking, how much restraint he needed to not run home to see his favorite brother, how much courage he needed to end all bullying with one blow, It also ruined the way to my brother.

But in a certain aspect, Xiao Ke feels that he understands Jiang Li, and understands why he has gone through so much suffering but keeps silent.

Just like when he liked Jiang Yubie back then, but he didn't dare to say it.

They were probably all the same, and they all thought that Jiang Yubie deserved better.

"Brother..." After a long time, Xiao Ke spoke slowly, breaking the dullness of the room. He said, "Brother Li is not a murderer, he is an angel."

Jiang Yubie didn't speak, but slowly moved the arm above the eyes, stretched it over and rubbed Xiao Ke's hair, it was very light, very warm, very warm.

"Did you and your uncles and aunts have a bad relationship since then?" Xiao Ke asked.

"Yeah." Jiang Yubie responded, but didn't leave his hand, and slowly slid from Xiao Ke's hair to his ear, pinching his earlobe from time to time, as if it was something fun, or just inadvertently, Even he himself didn't know what he was doing.

Then he told the aftermath of the story.

A few days after Jiang Li's death, Jiang Yubie and the others found the hut that Jiang Li rented outside. His life was so hard, but the room was tidied up and decorated very warmly. It feels very familiar, like the room where the two brothers lived together when they were young.

The things that Jiang and Bie mailed to him were properly placed by him, and there were also photos of the two brothers on the bedside table, and there was a line of beautiful words on the wall of the desk:

Go to my brother.

Jiang and Bie stayed in that room for three days, and read the three diaries that Jiang Li had written in the past two years. The first page of each diary had the same sentence: [Burn it when you leave here. 】

Jiang Li never thought of telling anyone what happened here, and he never planned to say that when he left here, he planned to bury all his experiences without leaving any traces, so that no one would worry about them.

The reason why he has the habit of keeping a diary is that the first entry of his first diary said:

【I don't have any friends, I don't know who to tell, I'm almost suffocated, so let's write a diary, only I know. 】

For him, the diary is a kind of venting of emotions, and it is precisely because of those diaries that Jiang Yubie is so clear about what Jiang Li experienced in those two years.

The more you understand, the more you feel distressed, and the more you feel distressed, the less you can forgive yourself.

He couldn't face Jiang Li, couldn't face his parents, and couldn't face himself.

The eyes of his parents fell on him, which made him feel that it was a sin.

If he hadn't chosen to be an actor himself, Jiang Li would not have left his parents and himself. He would have grown up healthy and happy, cared by his parents and loved by his brother.

Jiang Li is obviously 4 years younger than himself, but he sensibly gave up his parents to himself, living alone, living under the fence of others, suffering all kinds of grievances but not saying anything.

All the companionship and care from his parents should belong to Jiang Li, but Jiang Yubie took it all away selfishly.

Jiang Yubie is not a child anymore, doesn't he understand that doing this is a kind of harm to Jiang Li?It is impossible not to understand, but his career is booming, and he stands in such a high position at such a young age, it is impossible not to be vain, and it is impossible not to be proud, so he subconsciously ignores a lot.

I feel that if I wait a little longer, when Jiang Li grows older, when Jiang Li comes to Beicheng, everything will be fine, and he will give Jiang Li the best life.

But Jiang and Bie never thought that what Jiang Li wants is not the best life at all, what Jiang Li wants is just an ordinary life with family members together.

Jiang Li is easy to be satisfied. When he was a child, popsicles that cost ten cents a piece, candies that cost ten cents a cent, and old clothes left over from his own clothes can make him laugh out loud.

But limited edition clothes and shoes, the most expensive school bag, and the latest mobile phone, he has never cared about, but kept them because they were gifts from his brother.

Only by keeping it, my brother will feel less guilty and can work more securely, because becoming an actor and going to a big city is what my brother wants to do, and he can't and won't stop it.

Jiang Yubie never thought that Jiang Li would not be around until he could give him the best life.

He couldn't forgive himself, he felt that he killed Jiang Li, killed that angelic child with his dream.

His parents comforted him, but he didn't even dare to look at them.

He doesn't deserve it. As an older brother, he robbed Jiang Li of everything, and made Jiang Li live in violence and oppression for two full years. So he began to complain, blame himself, and couldn't extricate himself from this emotion. He even once wanted to leave to be with Jiang Li.

Later, their parents ran out of patience and began to complain about Jiang and Bie. After their parents' outburst, Jiang and Bie's emotions got better, and they no longer wanted to commit suicide.

But he still couldn't forgive himself, he couldn't forgive, and he couldn't bear the love of his parents with peace of mind.

If he accepts it as if nothing happened, then what is Jiang Li?What is Jiang Li's suffering?

Jiang Li is kind, he must also hope that his brother and parents can be as before, but that's impossible, from the moment Jiang Li left in that way, from the moment Jiang Li's pain of the past two years was revealed. For a moment, there is no going back.

They are all guilty.

Although he no longer commits suicide, Jiang Yubie has gone through quite a disgusting period of acting. This circle makes him tired, and being in this circle makes him feel sick, so for nearly 3 years he has no job None, so I stayed in the school all the time, and chose to retire when I was at the height of my power.

If it wasn't for Song Yi in the end, Jiang Yubie wouldn't be able to get out of it, and it would be impossible to continue to be an actor.

But even so, he still couldn't face Jiang Li's matter, and there was still indifference between him and his parents.

For so many years, Jiang Yubie once thought that his parents were still blaming him, but after returning this time, he found that it was not what he thought, otherwise his father would not call him Xiaobie, and his mother would not say to his father, "He is Jiang and other younger brothers, his name is Jiang and don't call him brother', and my father will not be red-eyed after hearing this sentence.

Another person called him brother, and they probably thought that Jiang and Bie had let go, so they revealed some real emotions in front of Jiang and others.

At that moment, Jiang and Bie realized that their parents had always cared about them, but they were suppressed forcibly, and it was no longer suitable for them to express it.

Because complaining is another way for them to redeem Jiang Yu. Only by letting him bear this shackle and letting him have the desire to redeem himself can he continue to live.

Of course, they also feel sorry for the son who lost his younger brother, but their love is a burden to Jiang Yubie, and it will make him unable to get over the pain of losing Jiang Li in his life, so they would rather ignore Jiang Yubie than Jiang Yubie. How much can make him feel less guilty towards Jiang Li.

The people who were really trapped in the same place and couldn't get out of Jiangli's pain were their parents, otherwise they wouldn't have chosen to live in the small town where Jiangli died for so many years, even the hut that Jiangli rented was bought by them Down, has maintained the original appearance.

-

Xiao Ke quietly accompanied Jiang and Bie most of the night, without saying anything, there is no way to comfort this kind of thing, and it is impossible to untie the happy knot, unless Jiang Li comes back, but Jiang Li can't come back.

In the middle of the night, Jiang Yubie fell asleep on the sofa. Just when Xiao Ke wanted to get up to get the blanket, his cell phone rang suddenly. The name on the screen did not have the courage to pick it up.

In the end, Xiao Ke answered the phone, listened quietly to the other end of the phone, and replied:

"We'll go right away."

After hanging up the phone, he realized that Jiang and other eyes had been on him all the time. Xiao Ke squatted in front of Jiang and other, held his hand, and said softly:

"Brother, uncle is gone, let's go see him off."

At 2 o'clock in the morning, the three of them drove to the hospital together. It took only a few minutes to drive, but it seemed that half a century had passed in the car. Song Yi drove, and Jiang Yubie and Xiao Ke sat in the back seat.

Jiang Yu's hands were very cold, even though Xiao Ke held them all the time, they were not warm at all.

Father Jiang was still lying there in the ward, no different from when they left, except that he was not breathing and slept more peacefully, probably because he no longer felt pain, and even his brows were flat.

Father Jiang left very peacefully.

Jiang's mother was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, very calm, just about to say something, but saw Xiao Ke and Jiang Yubie's tightly holding hands, her eyes flicked around the two of them, she didn't speak, Xiao Ke saw it, and wanted to pull it out, but was held tightly by Jiang and Bie.

Xiao Ke didn't understand whether Jiang and Bie didn't care that their relationship was discovered by Jiang's mother, or whether he just subconsciously wanted to find someone to rely on at this moment.

But no matter what it is, as long as Jiang Yu does not need it, as long as Jiang Yu does not let go, then he will not let go of Jiang Yu.

Never in this lifetime.

Jiang's mother didn't express any opinion on this, she said lightly:

"You should know that this is a matter of time since you came back. Everyone has this day. Don't feel bad."

Are you uncomfortable?

Uncomfortable, although I haven't seen him for many years, although the relationship is weak, but it is my father and I have been close to him for many years. As long as he thinks that he will never see this person again, Jiang Yubie can't feel nothing.

What's more, they didn't really blame themselves.

But what my mother said was right, people always have this day, and he must accept it, just like accepting Jiang Li's departure 14 years ago.

"Xiao Li has been there by himself for 13 years, and he probably won't be able to make many friends because of his temperament. Now it's all right, your dad will accompany him. If those brats dare to bully him again, someone will protect him. Their father and son will have a good year." Jiang's mother looked at Jiang Yubie, and said softly: "Xiaoli is accompanied by someone, you should let it go, almost 14 years, enough."

This was the first time Jiang's mother mentioned Jiang Li to Jiang Yubie in so many years. Not only Jiang Yubie, but even Song Yi was stunned.

And Jiang Yubie's eyes were red as if the thread that had been stretched suddenly broke.

I don't know whether Jiang Yubie let go suddenly, or whether his father's departure still made him unbearable. In the early morning, Jiang Yubie suddenly developed a high fever, fell asleep, and kept talking in sleep, and shouted for a while. Xiao Li called "Dad" for a while, Xiao Ke was worried about Jiang Yubie, and stayed by his side all the time. Song Yi took care of all the funeral affairs of Jiang's father by himself.

Mother Jiang didn't accompany Jiang Yubie in the hospital, nor did she go to the funeral home to accompany Jiang's father. She said that Jiang and others were taken care of, so she didn't worry about it, but when people died like the lights went out, he couldn't feel it if he went to accompany Jiang's father by himself. Arrived, and she was too tired and wanted to go to rest.

It was impossible for Xiao Ke to stop him, but he was a little worried about Jiang's mother's state, so he sent him to the hospital gate and ordered him. Jiang's mother didn't talk much at first, but at this time she also said a few words to Xiao Ke. Ask Xiao Ke:

"What's your relationship with Jiang Yubie?"

Xiao Ke looked at Mama Jiang for a moment of nervousness, and did not speak. Mama Jiang smiled slightly, and did not ask any more questions, but just stroked Xiao Ke's face:

"Thank you for showing up, go and stay with Jiang and Bie, the two of you should be fine."

At that moment, even Xiao Ke understood Mother Jiang's hard work for so many years, and he bowed deeply:

"Thank you, Auntie."

Jiang and Bie had a high fever for three days before the fever subsided. They lost a lot of weight, and even Xiao Ke lost a lot of weight. The first thing Jiang and Bie got out of bed was to hug Xiao Ke. kissed his ear and said:

"Kids have worked hard."

Xiao Ke didn't say anything, just took care of Jiang Yu and don't eat, and then they left the hospital and went to the funeral home.

This day is still five days away from the Chinese New Year, and this day is the day that Father Jiang is buried.

Jiang's father's tomb was laid down many years ago, and he was next to Jiang Li.

In the cemetery, Xiao Ke saw Jiang Li for the first time. In the photo on the tombstone, he smiled warmly and sunnyly, showing the warmest kindness to everyone who came to see him. Don't really look alike, they all look comfortable at first glance.

Xiao Ke watched Jiang Li quietly for a long time, and when he came back to his senses, he found that there was an empty cemetery next to Jiang Li. Jiang and don't say:

"That's my mother. She said that after she leaves in the future, she will guard Xiaoli with my father on the left and right, and take good care of him."

In fact, people are dead, even if there is an afterlife, 14 years have passed, and Jiang Li has long been reincarnated and can no longer feel any joy, anger, sorrow, and joy in this world. Any form is just to make the living feel better.

But Xiao Ke likes such a sense of ritual, so he held Jiang Yu's hand and said:

"We are also buried here, you guard Brother Li, and I guard you."

Jiang Yubie looked sideways at Xiao Ke and smiled slowly.

Later, when leaving the cemetery, Xiao Ke didn't move, and said to Jiang Yubie:

"You guys go first, I'll have a word with Brother Li."

Jiang Yubie looked at Xiao Ke silently for a few seconds, nodded, and walked down the mountain with his mother and Song Yi.

After going down a dozen steps, Jiang Yubie stopped and looked back at Xiao Ke. He saw Xiao Ke squatting in front of Jiang Li's tomb and whispering something to Jiang Li's photo. Looking at it quietly, I can't tell what it feels like.

Mother Jiang also looked at Xiao Ke, and said:

"I am relieved to have such a child by your side."

Jiang Yubie looked back at Jiang's mother, and said a few seconds later:

"Come back to Beicheng with us, you are the only one left here."

"How could it be?" Jiang's mother said, "Your father and Xiaoli have been with me all the time, you go live your life, we have been separated for so many years, so don't try to fix it, it's weird, I There is no other request, just come and collect my body when I leave, and bury it here."

After saying this, Jiang's mother went down the mountain. After going down two steps, she looked back at Jiang and Bie:

"By the way, you don't have to tell me when you go back."

After finishing speaking, he left. Song Yi also felt that it was meaningless to continue waiting here. After all, Jiang and Bie were waiting for Xiao Ke. It's better to leave early, so I said hello and went down first.

It took Xiao Ke a while to get up and walk over. Jiang Yubie stretched out his hand before he reached his side. Xiao Ke held him with a smile, and walked down the mountain side by side with him.

Jiang Yubie asked, "What did you say to Xiaoli?"

Xiao Ke smiled and said nothing, Jiang Yu didn't even look at him and didn't ask again, but just tightened his hand.

In fact, what Xiao Ke said to Jiang Li was very simple. He said:

Brother Li, you have guarded him for so many years, it's time to take a break, I will guard him for you, don't let him be cold, don't let him be hungry, don't let him be lonely, don't let him be sad, you Let go of your hands, and when we reach the sky, we will guard him together again.

Jiang Li seemed to agree, and the wind blew away a fallen leaf in front of the tomb, spinning and flying far away.

That night, Jiang Yubie and his party returned to Beicheng. Maomao drove to pick them up. After sending Song Yi home, Jiang Yubie and Xiao Ke were sent home.

Jiang and Bie had no desire to talk, and Xiao Ke didn't talk to tease him. The two of them were quiet. Xiao Ke filled him with bath water, found a change of clothes, and packed their luggage while he was taking a bath. , When he returned to the bedroom, he happened to see Jiang Yubie walking out of the bathroom wiping his hair, so he forced him against the edge of the sink and dried his hair for him.

Jiang Yubie smiled slowly, but remained silent.

It wasn't until Xiao Ke kissed him on the forehead to say good night before going to bed, but he didn't intend to go to bed, that Jiang Yubie opened his mouth:

"Where are you going to sleep?"

"You should have a good rest these days. You can't sleep well when I'm by your side. I'll sleep in the guest room."

Jiang Yu don't look at him:

"Didn't you say that you will never sleep in the guest room in your life?"

"This is exceptional."

Jiang Yubie should have wanted to keep Xiao Ke, but they still didn't say it when it came to their lips.

Although some things have been let go, it still takes a while to adjust. He is not in a good mood now, and he has no desire to talk with Xiao Ke sleeping beside him. It will also affect Xiao Ke's sleep and make him more worried about himself. In this way, it is better to separate temporarily.

He doesn't need to pretend, he can adjust his emotions well.

So Jiang Yubie nodded, hooked Xiao Ke's neck and kissed his lips:

"Thank you boyfriend."

Jiang and others are a bit slow in adjusting their status, but Xiao Ke would rather him slow down, or even slower. After all, the past of 14 years has been dug up again, and he has just lost a close relative. It is impossible for anyone to recover in a short time. of.

If Jiang Yubie recovered quickly, Xiao Ke would think it was a fake. Now, at least Jiang Yubie didn't have any cover up in front of him, and every emotion he felt was real.

Xiao Ke likes this truth.

Every day, Xiao Ke prepares delicious food for Jiang Yubie in different ways. Jiang Yubie always smiles, but they don’t eat much. Xiao Ke will also remind him before he sits down and starts:

"If you don't want to eat it, don't eat it. Don't give me face. I know what I cook is delicious."

Except when eating, most of Jiang and Bie are in the bedroom, and they don’t bring their mobile phones. After entering Xiao Ke’s FaceID, they throw the mobile phone to Xiao Ke to take care of it. It's nothing, you can ask Song Yi if you encounter something you don't understand.

After dinner, the two chatted for a while, but they didn't talk much. It was mostly Xiao Ke who said, Jiang Yu, don't listen. Before returning to the room, he would kiss Xiao Ke and say:

"Boyfriend wait for me."

Xiao Ke shook his head: "Take your time, I won't leave."

It is true that Jiang and others are not in a good state, and they have indeed neglected themselves, but Xiao Ke doesn't care how low Jiang and others are.

For most people, this day of Chinese New Year is a day of family reunion and joy, but for Yu Jiang and others, it is like torture like a knife hanging above his head.

But even if you don't want to, New Year's Eve still comes.

In the early morning of New Year's Eve, Xiao Ke went out to buy some simple ingredients. He didn't have anything special to do, but there must be a lot of people outside these days. He bought some and put them at home, and he didn't plan to go out again. .

When returning from the supermarket, Jiang Yubie just came out of the bedroom and passed the entrance, and saw the bag in Xiao Ke's hand:

"Go to the supermarket?"

"Yeah." Xiao Ke said, "I just bought something, and I won't go out for the next few days."

Jiang Yubie nodded:

"Aren't you going to make New Year's Eve dinner?"

Xiao Ke was stunned for a moment, but he was not too surprised, and then asked Jiang Yubie: "Do you want to do it?"

"Let's do it." Jiang Yubie said, "I've been hungry for days, so eat more for the New Year's Eve dinner."

Xiao Ke didn't show too much surprise, nor was he particularly happy, he just nodded calmly, as if it was a natural thing, put the supermarket card he just put down into his pocket again, and said:

"Then I'll go buy some more."

Jiang Yubie said, "I'll go with you."

There are a lot of people in the supermarket near the Chinese New Year, but today is New Year's Eve, and most people have already finished their New Year's shopping. There are not many people in the supermarket. It's convenient, Xiao Ke will still let him go, so when he heard Jiang Yu don't say that, Xiao Ke didn't even hesitate, and went directly to the master bedroom:

"I'll get you clothes."

Many times, Jiang and Bie feel that Xiao Ke, who is 12 years younger than him, treats himself like a child, and has to do all the food and clothing by himself. I have to say that he likes this feeling, but Xiao Ke is a bit too hard up.

After the clothes were taken out, Xiao Ke wanted to put them on for Jiang Yubie, and Jiang Yubie let him dress himself, and put on a mask and scarf. He looked at Xiao Ke who was a little taller than himself, and smiled. Open your mouth:

"I'm 12 years older than you, why do you always treat me like a child?"

Xiao Ke adjusted his scarf before looking at him: "Isn't it good?"

"It's good." Jiang Yubie said, "But you are so good to me, what if I can't do without you?"

Xiao Ke bent slightly, and looked at him at the same level, his eyes were serious and pious:

"I just want you to be inseparable from me, for the rest of your life."

Jiang and Bie smiled:

"Then what if you want to leave me? What should I do? I'm almost crippled by you."

"Impossible." Xiao Ke said: "I finally caught up with you, how could I let you go? Brother, I will protect myself, cherish myself, and guard you. I will not leave you alone. To die, I have to wait until you die, I know how painful it is for those who are left behind, so I will not let you bear it again, you believe me."

Jiang Yubing's eyes gradually turned red. He looked at Xiao Ke, rubbed his face, and scolded him softly:

"Like a fool."

The two went to the supermarket, bought the ingredients, and after returning home, they started cooking one by one, and finally made a whole table of New Year's Eve dinner before dinner.

The two sat facing each other, Jiang Yu don't say he wanted to drink, Xiao Ke hesitated and got up, and came back with two goblets and a bottle of red wine, and only poured a little for Jiang Yubie:

"Drink less."

"My stomach has been raised by you a long time ago."

Xiao Ke responded lightly, but was still not ready to continue pouring: "I know, but we still have to be careful."

Everyone's New Year's Eve dinner is lively and lively. The two of them are different. Although there are many dishes, they are still very deserted, and the topics they talk about are not lively enough. Jiang and don't ask:

"About Jiang Li, you have nothing to ask?"

Xiao Ke looked at Jiang and Bie. He knew what Jiang and Bie meant. Although he didn't know how much Song Yi had told him about Jiang Li, he did. According to what he knew about Song Yi, He must also know that Song Yi said that he was worried about Jiang Yu not thinking of himself as Jiang Li.

Jiang Yubie was waiting for himself to speak, to ask about what happened before.

But Xiao Ke really has nothing to ask: "I already know everything I want to know."

Jiang and Bie smiled: "Song Yi asked me several times if I thought you were Jiang Li."

"No." Xiao Ke said, "I know you haven't."

I did have such thoughts before I heard about Jiang Li's story, but when I saw Jiang Li's appearance in front of Jiang Li's tomb, Xiao Ke knew that there was no such thing. They were still very different. They are different because they are afraid that they will choose to use extreme methods to contend with the world like Jiang Li did back then.

That's why when they met for the first time, they desperately blocked the shovel for themselves to prevent themselves from fighting.

That's why when he opened his mouth to borrow money, he didn't even ask for a direct agreement. He might not have thought that having money would make him worse, but he was even more afraid of doing bad things for money.

That's why after I came to Beicheng, I pulled myself to his side because of fighting with others.

That's why I taught myself so many principles and taught myself to live in peace with this world.

He was just trying to prevent himself from becoming the next Jiang Li, but he never regarded himself as Jiang Li.

Xiao Ke looked at Jiang Yubie and smiled:

"No need to explain, I understand, boyfriend."

Jiang Yu smiled and stopped talking.

A lot of dishes were cooked, but neither of them ate much, but no one cared, it was just a formality.

After the meal, Jiang and Bie left the dining table, Xiao Ke sorted them out, and when he came out from the kitchen, he realized that Jiang and Bie didn't go back to the bedroom as usual, but sat on the sofa chair in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows.

Xiao Ke also walked over and sat down at his feet without saying a word, watching the lights of Wanjia with him.

This is the fourth New Year's Eve that they have spent together, Jiang and don't know, they will spend the same way for many years to come, just like now, but this is the last quiet New Year's Eve, the children are still young, Jiang and Don't plan to let him be bored with you.

On New Year's Eve in the future, they will also be lively.

After an unknown amount of time, Jiang Yubie vaguely felt that he had had a dream. In the dream, Jiang Li stood in front of him and said with a smile, "Brother, Happy New Year."

Jiang Yubie opened his eyes, and there was still a familiar scene in front of him. Without Jiang Li, there was no sound, but with Xiao Ke, he was still sitting there, relying on himself, silently accompanying him.

Jiang Yubie smiled, and suddenly remembered their first time, which was delayed too many times by various things, so he kicked Xiao Ke and asked him:

"Ai? Boyfriend."

The author has something to say: Can you smell the end?

See you tomorrow~