Gu Nianruochu

After arriving at the hotel where the celebration banquet was held, Wei Siyuan habitually walked to the seat on Yin Xu's right, only to find that the seat was already taken by the girl who was walking with Yin Xu. He kept hinting to himself that Yin Xu only took care of girls because he was graceful, and that he was a big man and didn't need Yin Xu to hold an umbrella for him, but at this moment, his rationality finally couldn't overcome the jealousy that filled his chest in seconds .

Standing next to the girl named Xu Ziyu, he whispered but clearly, "This position is mine."

Xu Ziyu seemed to feel the obvious hostility emanating from him, raised his face to look at him, and replied in a slightly mocking tone, "How old are you, and you still play the game of grabbing stools."

"It was originally mine." Wei Siyuan thought in his heart unwillingly, when Yin Xu took me out to have dinner with friends before, I always sat on his right hand.

Xu Ziyu chuckled unmoved, "Did you write your name?"

Hearing this kind of gunpowder-smelling conversation, Yin Xu stretched his hand over the girl's back, pulled Wei Siyuan's hand and let it go quickly, his tone was still gentle, "Siyuan, sit over here."

Wei Siyuan didn't say a word, and sat reluctantly on Yin Xu's left hand side. Yin Xu looked at his face with some concern, "What do you want to drink, can I give you some soda?"

Wei Siyuan was still sullen and angry and didn't want to talk to him. Yin Xu waited for a few seconds before Wei Siyuan lost his patience, and then turned away to talk to the person sitting on the other side of him, "I heard that girls drink cold drinks for a long time. Things are not very good for the body, if you drink it hot, it seems that the almond tea here is good."

Wei Siyuan felt that Yin Xu who cared about others was very annoying, and he didn't want to talk to him even more. Later, every time Xu Ziyu said a word to Yin Xu, he would call "idiot" in an extremely childish and ungentlemanly way in his heart, and then he started going to Yin Xu's bowl Yin Xu felt that he was ignorant and gave him a few glances, but he didn't scold him.

When the meal was almost finished, Xu Ziyu started to talk about how she wanted to have a cat, and then Yin Xu showed her the photo of the egg roll in her mobile phone, and she held Yin Xu's mobile phone and said enviously, "Ah, so cute Maomao, it would be great if I could see the truth."

Wei Siyuan interjected forcefully in the tone of "I want to play with my son, who doesn't know how to do it", "It recognizes its owner more, and is very shy of strangers, so it probably doesn't want to see you."

"Wei Siyuan." The voice of Yin Xu calling his name finally had a reproachful attitude, but Wei Siyuan couldn't take it anymore, he dropped his chopsticks and stood up from his seat, Yin Xu asked him again, "Where are you going?" ?”

"Toilet, do you want to accompany me?" Wei Siyuan left this sentence and went out. He felt sore and swollen in his heart. He could no longer bear Yin Xu having a good conversation with others in front of him but treating strangers like that. accuse him in a tone of voice.

So he rubbed his eyes and walked all the way outside the meal, and dialed Zheng Heng's number on his mobile phone, "Old Zheng, are you in the dormitory tonight?"

"What am I doing in the dormitory after I'm on vacation?" Zheng Heng asked him back.

"I even forgot that we were already on vacation, and I was thinking about going back to live tonight." Wei Siyuan scratched his hair a little irritably.

Seeing him uncharacteristically asking to go back to the dormitory, Zheng Heng knew that he was having a fight again, "What's wrong with you? Are you angry because of Yin Xu again?"

Wei Siyuan did not speak as a default, and then suggested in a sullen tone, "Would you like to come out and have a drink with me?"

"Then why don't you come over to my house? There's a new resident singer who has a pretty good voice and seems to be a student of our school."

Wei Siyuan left in such a hurry, he took a taxi and realized that he didn't even bring his schoolbag, and he didn't have an access control card or key when he went back tonight, so Yin Xu would wake up and open the door for him, and he might even be scolded. low.

When Zheng Heng came, the two of them ordered a dozen beers and drank them full of bubbles and the bitter aroma of malt. Wei Siyuan drank the whole can, and heard Zheng Heng asked him very incomprehensibly, "Wei Siyuan, what are you doing?" Can't you change someone's favorite?"

"Let me tell you a story." Wei Siyuan did not answer his question directly, opened the second can of beer and took a sip, and began to say, "There was a man who loved each other very much with his wife, and still relied on his wife's family His contacts made a lot of money in business, and he had already started a family before he was 30 years old. When he was about to settle down and enter the next stage of his life, his wife had never conceived a child. Just when this man was suffering from depression and mental distress When he was under pressure, a woman who liked him very much comforted him, and then he had an affair with this woman. Not long after, this woman was pregnant with his child. The man wanted a child very much, so he kept it secret The family agreed with her to give birth to the child. After the child was born, the woman named the child Siyuan, which means missing someone from afar.”

Zheng Heng listened intently, originally thinking that Wei Siyuan was going to explain his deep love for Yin Xu by citing scriptures, but he was a little dumbfounded after hearing the following content.

Wei Siyuan continued to speak calmly as if he was talking about other people's stories, "This woman who is a new mother hopes that a man can divorce his wife and stay with her, but this selfish man only wants children and does not want her, nor does he want to be with her. I was willing to bear the infamy of abandoning the chaff, so I rejected her request and wanted to break off relations with her. This woman has been entangled for a long time and found no hope, so love turned into hatred, and she abused her and the man's child, starving him. Breastfeed him, pinch him to bruises all over, and then take photos and send them to the man's house to blackmail him, saying that he will expose his extramarital affairs."

When Wei Siyuan said this, he paused for a moment, and there was an indescribable pain on his expression for a moment, but he quickly returned to calm.

"Damn it, is this f*cking play at eight o'clock? Your own mother is too inhumane, why didn't anyone send her to jail?" Zheng Heng said, and carefully pondered Wei Siyuan. "But... don't be too sad, parents have no choice, but your life is your own."

"Yes, I know that not all parents love their children. Father's love and mother's love are the most natural feelings, but they are not inevitable. When I didn't want to understand this truth before, I was afraid that others would know my life experience. In fact, I don’t really want to now, but it doesn’t matter if I know, because I have become a very good person by myself.” Wei Siyuan looked calm, took a sip of beer and continued, “When the grandparents of that family know about this I was very sad, disappointed with their son, felt guilty for their daughter-in-law, and felt sorry for an innocent child, so I gave this woman a lot of money, asked her to give the child to them, and then leave their son."

"I didn't know it at first. I have lived in that family since I can remember. When I was a child, I thought it was because I was not well-behaved. My mother never gave me a good look, and my father didn't want to control me. Later, I accidentally stole Hearing them quarreling, I heard my mother call me a 'wild species', and I realized that I am not her biological child." Wei Siyuan pondered for a while, as if caught in some kind of memory, "But even if it wasn't because of that eavesdropping Well, the fact that I am an illegitimate child is an open secret. I will always know it no matter what. After all, my relatives look down on me, and even the servants at home will secretly say that I am the child of a vixen, let alone Others are going to take the moral high ground with a gossip mentality."

Zheng Heng asked, "Then your mother... I mean your stepmother, she is obviously your father's first wife, but she became a stepmother, she must be very upset, did she abuse you?"

"That's not true. She is such a well-born and well-bred woman, she doesn't even bother to do illegal and criminal things for people like me." Wei Siyuan laughed at himself with a wry smile, "They later adopted a child, my brother, I My mother would rather love my younger brother than look at me more. They are all children who are not related to her, but I was born to her husband and a third party, so she vented her anger on me and hated me, no Treat me as a family member, and I can't help it."

"My grandparents are always gossiped by outsiders. They are very respected music teachers. They have been upright and upright all their lives, and they have a clear conscience in doing things. But because of their ignorant children, they were poked in the back and couldn't hold their heads up in front of others. But They are very kind-hearted, and they don’t want the innocent me to be disturbed by the entanglements between their adults, so they sent me to Teacher Yin to learn music when I started school, and later sponsored me to go abroad for exchange when I was in high school. Then……"

Then, the inferior and gloomy Wei Siyuan met the strong, independent and talented Yin Xu, the best person he has ever met in his life.

"It sounds like you learned the violin from Yin Xu's father since you were young, just to meet him one day. It sounds quite romantic."

"Well, so grandparents are my relatives, and Yin Xu is my favorite person." Wei Siyuan drank the last sip of beer in the can with a little embarrassment, couldn't help smiling and licked his lips, "But before meeting him , I didn’t have any friends when I was in high school, because I was afraid that others would look down on me, that others would look at me with contempt or pity, so I didn’t approach anyone, and others would think that I was alone all day long. It's annoying to come and go alone and pretend to be noble, and it repels me even more."

"I think you are very good. You are very cheerful and optimistic now, and your personality is very humble and gentle." Zheng Heng said to him.

"Yin Xu said the same thing at that time, he only found out about my family's affairs by accident, because at that time I was waiting in the UK for more than a month and my living expenses were still stuck in the bank and I couldn't even afford potatoes. Yes, when I called home to ask questions, my mother scolded me with ugly words, calling me useless, asking my family for money all day long, and pretending to be pitiful in front of my grandparents to win sympathy. I don’t want to keep these words in my mind, but She scolded me so many times, I can't even forget it... At that time, Yin Xu was next to me, he hugged me and said, 'What your mother said is not true, I think you are very good, your grandpa and grandma Love you must be because they think you are very good', I said, 'but my classmates hate me, no one thinks I'm good', he said, 'Even if everyone thinks you're bad, I think you're bad too good'."

Wei Siyuan's nose was a little sore while talking, he lowered his head and rubbed it, and opened another can of beer.

"If an ordinary person, like you, said to me, 'I think you are very good', I would feel that it was just casually saying it to comfort me, but Yin Xu, who is so good, beautiful and positive, said If it comes out, I will believe it is true without hesitation, I will believe that my birth is not anyone's misfortune, and I will work hard to become a better person for him." Wei Siyuan gave a very precise interpretation, "He It’s what keeps me alive.”

"Damn, why are you belittling my value in order to elevate your male god? It's shameful to bully me. You'll get Yin Xu blackmailed by doing this." Zheng Heng made a gesture to hit him, but in the end he just slapped him on the forehead.

"I always feel that I am destined to meet him in this life. His three-month care gave me a brand new life and attitude towards life." Wei Siyuan looked at the night sky outside the window and sighed, with a gentle smile on his face, Then the smile faded away bit by bit, "Because I dare to tell you only if you know that I really like Yin Xu. Others will probably think that I am a sticky and idiotic gay."

Zheng Heng shook his head, "Don't say such things, you are just the unrequited love of normal people, homosexuality is just normal people."

Wei Siyuan glanced at him gratefully, touched the can with him, shook it, and drank it in one gulp.

"You always make it so easy to change your liking, because you can easily like others and give up easily, but for people like me, it is very difficult to like others, because the love I have received is too much. Extravagant. When I like a person, I will willingly give all my trust to him, and I will give him the possibility of being hurt without reservation. I hollowed out my heart, and then filled the other person. So I It’s scary to often feel like someone else, and only the best can make you feel safe and protected.”

"Yin Xu is the best person I've ever met in my life. When I met him, I couldn't like others. I didn't dare to put too much pressure on him. I didn't dare to push him hard. I was afraid of being hated by him. , even my right to unilaterally like him will be confiscated."

Zheng Heng was covered in goosebumps by the confession behind the scenes, clutching his stomach and said, "It's so nasty, isn't falling in love just about pursuing the kind of spiritual happiness that makes you happy, or the sensual pleasure when you go to bed?" Exciting and pleasant, you said it so holy, as if you are going to get married immediately if you are sure. Since you feel that you must have him, be strong, and don't always look like you will be depressed after a little blow."

"Ah! But I'm so angry when he flirts with others next to me!" Wei Siyuan was very angry when he remembered the reason for being hit, and slammed the beer can on the table, "I like him so much, but he You want to get rid of me in front of others, you have done everything with me, and you still say that you only treat me as a friend and a younger brother. It is not right for me to vent my anger on anyone. I can only hold it back. It's about to die."

Wei Siyuan, who was so uncomfortable, almost drank a whole beer by himself, and ended up getting drunk before twelve o'clock. Zheng Heng saw that he looked like he would fall into the toilet when he went to the bathroom, and worried that he would not be able to go home by himself. Ask him to call Yin Xu after paying the bill, and go to his house tonight and sleep on the sofa.

Wei Siyuan's eyes lit up when he thought he didn't have to go home and be scolded, and he called happily, and said inarticulately, "Yin Xu, I won't be coming back tonight, I'm too drunk to leave, I want to borrow a room at a classmate's house." night."

Yin Xu knew before that he was a little guilty for his harsh tone, but Wei Siyuan sometimes showed his exclusive desire to him outside, and he had no confirmed relationship with him, so he always avoided suspicion in front of others and was not willing to show it out of private intimacy.

He originally planned to wait for Wei Siyuan to come back to coax him, but he didn't expect Wei Siyuan to run out and didn't come back for a long time. He thought he was lost in the bathroom at meal time, so he went to look for him twice, and later found that he left without saying a word. He didn't even want his schoolbag, and he was so angry that he didn't even have the mood to eat.

When Yin Xu received a call from Wei Siyuan who said he couldn't go home, he was instantly enraged, and asked word by word, "Are you drunk and going to a classmate's house for the night?"

Wei Siyuan heard that he was not very happy, and apologized honestly, "Well, I'm sorry, I told you so late and disturbed your sleep, I..."

Yin Xu interrupted him indifferently, "If you don't come back tonight, don't come back later."

"..."

Wei Siyuan was choked by Yin Xu's words. He originally thought that he had been wronged before Yin Xu would let him go, but he didn't expect that Yin Xu would directly tell him that it was similar to wanting to drive him out and not want him anymore. If so, his breathing suddenly became heavy, and his eye sockets began to heat up.

Because Yin Xu's voice was quite loud, Zheng Heng heard it through the phone. He looked at Wei Siyuan's frustrated face and couldn't help persuading him, "Forget it, forget it, why are you so humble, dormitory It's not that there is no place for you to live in, at worst, I will move out with you to share the rent next semester."

After Yin Xu heard this sentence, he was immediately ignited on the other end of the phone, and roared, "Wei Siyuan, where are you now?!"

Wei Siyuan was drunk, and he didn't care whether he would be ashamed, so he cried in humiliation and told him where he was in public, and then he was reprimanded, "Stand where you are and wait", and then hung up the phone. .

When Yin Xu arrived, Wei Siyuan got into the co-pilot with his head drooping and his tail between his legs. He didn't even dare to look into Yin Xu's eyes. He turned his face out of the window and watched the light of the street lamps fly backwards in the night into a continuous stream. ribbons.

After Yin Xu stopped the car, the two of them were silent in the car for a while, and finally Yin Xu couldn't help but speak first, turned his face and came over to stare at him, "Are you angry with me?"

Wei Siyuan looked directly into Yin Xu's eyes in the dark, and vaguely saw his own small reflection in his eyes, suddenly his heart softened to a mess, and he felt that he didn't sleep until midnight and was waiting for him to come to find him again. I must have cared a little about him in my heart, and I didn't really want to drive him away.

So he caressed Yin Xu's face and kissed it, "I like you."

Yin Xu froze for a moment, the unformed anger in his heart suddenly disintegrated, he kissed Wei Siyuan's lips back forcefully, couldn't help biting his soft lips, stuck his tongue into him and entangled with him, licked robbing his breath with his mouth that tasted faintly of beer.

When the air in his lungs was about to be emptied, Wei Siyuan's mouth was slightly red and swollen from his sucking, his chest heaved slightly rapidly, his eyes were wet, filled with deep love, and Yin Xu's heart twitched slightly when he saw it. Pain, but also the sudden separation of love, and the certainty that I feel loved and trusted.

Yin Xu carried Wei Siyuan home and threw him directly on the bed. Wei Siyuan fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow, and he didn't respond when Yin Xu lay beside him and pinched his face.

That's why Yin Xu slowly recovered from Wei Siyuan's inexplicable annoyance and astonishment that he wanted to spend the night at someone else's house, "Do you know what it's like to be drunk, how easy it is to bully you, and you won't resist anything I do to you. Are you Didn't you forget how you slept with me on your birthday? When you were drunk, you started to seduce me, crying and saying you liked me, and wanted me to kiss you and hug you. Do you still want to be seen by others like this?"

Wei Siyuan fell into a deep sleep, couldn't hear his words at all, and pulled up his sweater to expose his white belly to dissipate heat as if it was very hot. Yin Xu simply took off his clothes, and then wrapped him tightly with the quilt.

Yin Xu bit his warm face like a red apple without any effort, kissed him again after biting, and then continued to say viciously, "You are a willful bastard, you just broke into my life regardless if you like me , do everything to tell the world that you want to own me and bind me, but have you ever asked me if I like men?"

Wei Siyuan's sleeping face was obedient and quiet, so in the end Yin Xu's anxiety was silently calmed down again. He touched Wei Siyuan's forehead, "But you can't help but like me."