Gu Nianruochu

Wei Siyuan's attitude towards Yin Xu was extremely perfunctory and indifferent from the time he left the Korean barbecue restaurant until he returned home, so Yin Xu gradually became a little flustered, as if he had obsessive-compulsive disorder, and would touch Wei Siyuan every once in a while, constantly looking for topics to talk to. He talked to make him laugh, but the number of words Wei Siyuan replied to him was decreasing every sentence, and in the end no matter what he said, he ignored him, and he knew that he was going to die.

Yin Xu wanted to explain more clearly and free and easy, but he felt helpless. After all, he also knew that he had a lot of criminal records. In the past, his attitude of not rejecting anyone who felt good and took the initiative to stick to him made Wei Siyuan sad. He always used a sentence "I have nothing to do with her" to excuse himself, so this sentence no longer has any effect on Wei Siyuan now, and he is even more afraid that if he says a wrong sentence, Wei Siyuan will bring back some unpleasant memories or disappointment. All the efforts for a period of time are tantamount to falling short.

But in fact, Wei Siyuan didn't doubt him or blame him because other people admired him. It's normal for Yin Xu to be liked by anyone. The only abnormal one is himself, who was introduced as a "boyfriend".

After Lin Feien left, Wei Siyuan suddenly realized belatedly that the familiar eyes that Lin Feien looked at him were the eyes that he had been sized up by different girls over and over again when he was beside Yin Xu. Inadvertently or intentionally, he used that curious and contemptuous look to remind him how humble and insignificant he really is, and what a ridiculous way to covet Yin Xu who he doesn't deserve.

No one wants to live a decent life in the eyes of others, that's why they are always unwilling to be satisfied, and even try to do what they can't do in order to satisfy their vanity, but the essence of life is not in the eyes of others, why do people have to Do you want to find your own value in others?

So in the final analysis, this kind of frustration is that I am not competitive enough, and I don't have the confidence to not lose him, so what else is there to say?Say "I didn't expect that after all these years, I'm still useless, and I still like you. I'm so sorry"?

The furniture they bought at ikea was delivered home at four o'clock in the afternoon. Wei Siyuan moved his original bed to a corner, then squatted on the ground as if studying a newly bought building block toy, carefully reading the instructions for the splicing parts. Yin Xu squatted beside him and leaned over, asking in a low voice, "Do you want me to help?"

Wei Siyuan remained silent, his aura suddenly turned chilly, he walked away without saying a word, squatted down and looked down at the assembly method of another part.

Yin Xu paused for a few seconds, already overwhelmed with fear, and left the room as if nothing had happened, and then poured a cup of hot tea in, handed it to Wei Siyuan, and persistently leaned over to coax him, "Your afternoon I haven't even drank water, drink some water."

Wei Siyuan glanced at him very quietly, then turned his eyes away again, still ignoring him with a very negative attitude, his forehead was sweating for some reason, Yin Xu put the water glass on the bedside table, went out to check the heating at home , the temperature is not very high.

Yin Xu wanted to go back to the room, turned around and saw Wei Siyuan standing by the door with a complex expression, he took Wei Siyuan's hand, "You're still angry with me, aren't you, I didn't hide anything from you." After a pause, He couldn't bear it anymore and asked, "Siyuan, what did I do wrong?"

Wei Siyuan stared at him blankly for a while, then turned his face away, frowned, and wanted to walk away from him, speaking in a weak breath, and struggled to squeeze out two words, "No."

"Then what's wrong with you now?" Yin Xu finally couldn't bear the grievance brought about by Wei Siyuan's cold and violent self-isolation, "If I did something wrong, you can scold me or kill me, let me I know where I am wrong, I can find a way to remedy it, at least give me a chance to explain, but every time you get angry and uncomfortable, you just endure it yourself, then ignore me in the cold, refuse to talk to me, don’t want me to do it for you Whatever you do, act like you don't need me and you can don't want me at any time."

Wei Siyuan still didn't say anything, but his face started to turn pale, and he raised his leg to leave again. Yin Xu stood in front of him, but he pushed him away with great strength, then ran into the bathroom, slammed the door and bent over, and started to vomit .

Yin Xu's heart skipped a beat, and his irritability was extinguished as if he had been thrown into icy water.Wei Siyuan is not feeling well?It turned out that Wei Siyuan's sleepy look was not because he hated him, but because he was uncomfortable. When did it start?

He stood outside and knocked on the door anxiously, "Siyuan, what's wrong with you? Can I come in?"

Wei Siyuan didn't speak, what answered him was sporadic vomiting, Wei Siyuan's stomach twitched and ached, and he almost vomited up his lunch in a few strokes.

Yin Xu directly twisted the door to go in to see him, the door opened a crack, Wei Siyuan put his back against it and closed it again, and then locked it with a "click", physiological tears and snot kept flowing out, he took out a tissue to wipe the snot Tears only replied in a strong nasal voice, "Don't worry about it."

Then there was the sound of the toilet being flushed from the bathroom, and the sound of the faucet rattling after a while. Wei Siyuan took a handful of water to wash his face, and rinsed his mouth several times.

He leaned on the washstand to barely straighten up, turned around and opened the door to go out, but his stomach hurt so much that he just wanted to bow his back, his legs were weak, and he was floating like stepping on cotton candy.

Yin Xu looked at him helplessly outside the door, a rare panic appeared on his face, and wanted to help Wei Siyuan out from inside, but Wei Siyuan not only couldn't walk, but also fell down with his legs limp, his eyes were full of pain , and tried to free his hand.

Yin Xu supported Wei Siyuan, looked down at him distressedly, and wanted to ask him if his stomach was uncomfortable, but before he could say anything, Wei Siyuan started pushing him again, then closed the door again, and started to have diarrhea.

Wei Siyuan tossed and tossed inside alone for a long time, Yin Xu rummaged through boxes and boxes to find medicine and wanted him to take it out, but he didn't come out anyway, he was afraid that Wei Siyuan would faint inside, so he kept knocking on the door outside, "Siyuan, you Are you dizzy?"

"I'm fine." Wei Siyuan answered lightly, he was indeed dizzy from vomiting, his eyes were black, and his stomach hurt badly, from continuous pain to labor pain, and he was in a terrible embarrassment with vomiting and diarrhea, but he was ashamed in front of Yin Xu The degree of embarrassment will increase exponentially, so I would rather hide inside than come out. Anyway, even if I come out, I will go back in a few minutes.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong, I didn't know that you were uncomfortable and I was angry with you." Yin Xu admitted his mistake outside, and was almost manic in anxiety, "You open the door quickly, let me see how you are."

"I'm fine." After throwing up a few times, Wei Siyuan's head also started to hurt. At first he didn't want to talk to Yin Xu because he was depressed, but then it was the stomach cramps that made him gritted his teeth and couldn't speak. , He thought that his stomach was full of pain because of eating, but he didn't expect to vomit directly afterwards.

Yin Xu turned the doorknob and found that Wei Siyuan had locked the door, wandering outside in annoyance, as if Wei Siyuan hadn't locked himself in, but he had been kicked out, he continued to knock on the door tirelessly, his voice became hoarse in anxiety, "No, come out quickly, Siyuan, let me see you."

Wei Siyuan sprayed a big round of air freshener inside, choked himself to cough non-stop, and then reluctantly opened the door, the gloomy and cold expression on his face disappeared, but there was obvious displeasure, " I said it was all right."

"Your face is blue, and you still say it's okay, can you still walk?" Yin Xu eagerly grabbed his shoulders and looked at him, blocked him at the bathroom door, swallowed the medicine, and drank a large cup of hot water. Shui, "May I help you to lie on the bed?"

Wei Siyuan looked as if he was about to cry, "Don't you feel that you are not needed, you are right, I don't need you, go away."

"I was wrong, please scold me, don't let me take care of you." Yin Xu hugged him, feeling as if a hole had been pierced in his heart, and his eyes became hot, "I'm sorry."

Wei Siyuan said angrily, "Don't hug me, I'll spit on you, and you will have psychological shadows if you hug me in the future."

"If you can stop being angry with me after you vomit, then you can vomit." Yin Xu still didn't flinch at all, "You don't have to feel awkward, if I were the one who was uncomfortable now, would you feel disgusted by me? He let go of Wei Siyuan, raised his hand and brushed the hair on his forehead, whether it was wet from washing his face or wet with sweat, "You must only care about me and take care of me, and I am the same."

Wei Siyuan looked at Yin Xu, then wrapped his arms around his neck obediently, was hugged by him, felt Yin Xu's palm caressing his back, and apologized to him in a low voice, "I'm sorry, Siyuan, I used to lose my temper when you were so uncomfortable..."

"You're a bastard, I don't forgive you." Wei Siyuan interrupted him, and he put him on the single bed that was moved to the corner of the room, and lay down with his arms still wrapped around his neck, letting him down Hugging herself tightly, "But you're not wrong, I treated you in a cold way, and I'm also wrong, but it's not what you think."

He could have said a lot of hurtful things, but Yin Xu's heart is so close to his chest, as long as he is willing, a sentence "Why can't I believe you, don't you know the reason the best?" is enough to make this person Chi's heart ached, but he knew that once he said this, the relationship between him and Yin Xu would return to the starting point where there was no way out.

"It's my fault." Yin Xu kissed Wei Siyuan's ear, and pulled the quilt to wrap him around him, "No matter what the reason is for the baby to ignore me, I should coax him."

The weakness of illness easily destroyed Wei Siyuan's defenses, making him feel that there is no shame in relying on others and confessing his heart, "Do you think I don't need you? Do you really think of me like this?"

Before Yin Xu was snubbed by Wei Siyuan, he lost his temper and lost his temper. He said everything that should be said and should not be said. Now it seems that what he said is wrong, so it seems to be simple and straightforward, "I don't know. , because I need you very much, I’m afraid if you ignore me, but you don’t care about me very much.” His nasal cavity was sour, and tears flowed out involuntarily, “I finally know that I used to pretend to be cool over there. How do you feel when you don't pay attention to you, I think you can just look at me and don't talk, but I'm afraid that you will annoy me when I get in front of you. "

"I won't." Wei Siyuan choked up when he saw him suffering so hard, "I don't like myself the least in this world, but I like you the most."

"I like you the most, too, I love you."

Wei Siyuan originally moved his lips and wanted to say something, but Wei Siyuan's stomach started to hurt again, the pain made him curl up and gasp, and he covered his mouth when he felt something rising in his esophagus, Yin Xu hurriedly jumped out of bed Bring him the trash can, and he leans over and spits out all the pills and water he just swallowed, with a bitter taste of melting pills in his mouth.

When Yin Xu finished disposing of the trash can and came back, he looked at him aggrieved and said, "I don't want to vomit after you say you love me, but I couldn't hold back."

"It's nothing, if I'm really disgusted, I'll admit it, and you'll get used to it a few more times in the future, I don't mind." Yin Xu smiled softly, and touched his forehead, "You seem to be A little fever, it may be acute gastroenteritis, I will take you to see a doctor."

"I want to sleep for a while, maybe a little sleep will be fine."

"Then go to sleep." Yin Xu touched his closed eyes with his lips, he was already a little exhausted, and fell asleep almost immediately.

This sleep actually lasted until one o'clock in the morning. When Wei Siyuan woke up, he found himself lying on a newly bought big bed. The sheets still exuded the soothing smell of fabric softener. Curled up like a shrimp.

Yin Xu was lying behind him, with his chest against his back, rubbing his stomach with warm palms, and kissing him on the back of his neck from time to time, when he felt him move, he stood up and looked at him, "Sleep woke up?"

"Hmm..." Wei Siyuan turned around, was supported by him to sit up, kissed his face several times, handed over the pills and hot water with a temperature just right for his mouth, and he didn't know how many cups he had changed.

"You were chilling and shivering when you were sleeping just now. I checked your temperature half an hour ago, and you still had a fever." Yin Xu said, "Does your stomach still hurt now? Do you still want to vomit?"

"I don't want to vomit, but my stomach still hurts." Wei Siyuan shook his head, handed the empty water glass to Yin Xu, got out of bed and went to the bathroom, and still had some diarrhea.

"Are you hungry? I cooked some porridge. My mother said that gastroenteritis can only eat the lightest porridge and bread." After returning, Yin Xu asked him to lie down again. It can be stretched out, and the egg roll nests at the end of their bed and sleeps comfortably.

Wei Siyuan didn't have much appetite, and didn't want Yin Xu to get up in the middle of the night to give him hot porridge, so he said no, then Yin Xu adjusted his lying position and hugged him closer, annoyed and blamed himself, "Really, in the future I won’t take you to eat any barbeque anymore, and you will get sick after eating it.”

"It's okay, I didn't notice that I ate undercooked meat." Wei Siyuan stretched out his arms to hug his waist.

While guarding Wei Siyuan's big sleep, Yin Xu calmed down and reorganized the matter, deeply understanding that to solve the trust problem, we still need to start from the most critical part, "I won't talk to Lin Fei after the show is over." En contact, or you come to watch my rehearsal in the future, forget it, if you look at me, I must perform very well."

"I don't mean to interfere with your normal communication." Wei Siyuan said hesitantly, trying to sort out his sleepy thoughts, "I'm not upset because I'm jealous, it's this time, you still dare to seek jealousy Eat it for me, so aren’t you courting death?” He couldn’t help laughing to himself, Yin Xu reached into his clothes and touched his back along the spine, which made him sleepy and yawned, “Just But there are some things that you won’t understand even if I tell you, because you haven’t experienced it, you can’t understand it, and even if different people have experienced the same thing, they won’t feel the same.”

"I will try to understand what you said to me." Yin Xu looked at him with lowered eyes, thinking that even his sick and weak appearance is so cute, "Even if I don't understand, I know why you are upset, I will find a solution, which is the most practical and effective, isn’t it.”

"Since I met you, you have been liked by many people. It is natural, because you are handsome, smart, good at playing the violin, and you are very good at attracting people. You have such a high starting point. Of course it is very difficult for people to catch up with you, but there is a little fate between us that no one else has, so when I can't catch up with you, I have been by your side, so what will other people think of me? I cheat."

"They don't know shit, you are very good." Yin Xu said.

"They don't understand. In fact, I don't want to use you to achieve myself. Even if you slow down and wait for me, it will make me feel ashamed, but it is also true that my ability is not worthy of you, so When I was by your side, others looked at me like a little follower, an ignorant younger brother, or a light bulb, until you chose me, that kind of look became a good cabbage and was gouged by a pig." Wei Siyuan gritted his teeth "Why are you a cabbage and I'm a pig? It's obvious that you are pushing me!"

Yin Xu was listening seriously, but at the end he couldn't help laughing with his arms around him. Wei Siyuan's words were so cute, he patted him on the back and comforted him, "Yes, yes, I am the pig, I like pigs the most. Hugging my baby." As she spoke, she lowered her head and rubbed against his face, "I'm not good enough for you."

"It's really hard to like you," Wei Siyuan said the first half of the sentence, his tone suddenly lowered, and Yin Xu was frightened and froze immediately, waiting for the next sentence in fear, "But I just couldn't hold back."

"So I can't do anything for you? Can I do something so that you can persevere without working so hard?" He combed Wei Siyuan's hair with his fingertips, the person in his arms breathed evenly, and in a blink of an eye Then fell asleep again, "You have to have more confidence in yourself."

Wei Siyuan woke up briefly twice in the middle of the night. Yin Xu felt him warm and fed him water. One of them was when it was almost dawn. I covered my mouth and nose, and now I can't breathe and I'm about to suffocate, but I can't move no matter how hard I try.

Yin Xu was very sensitive to hear that his breathing sound was not right, so he pulled off his quilt, and kissed him on the burning cheek, "Scare me, don't get bored, you'll become a little fool You can only raise pigs and not be in command.”

Then Wei Siyuan realized that Yin Xu took care of him all night without sleep, and he thought in a hazy moment that this person probably made up for the love and care that his biological parents didn't give him until now.

When he woke up again at 06:30 in the morning, Yin Xu had already heated up the porridge for a while, and after he had eaten the porridge, he asked him to take medicine again, and then took the bowl out. Within a minute, there was the sound of the bowl being smashed It passed into the room.

Wei Siyuan pushed the quilt down and walked to the door to see Yin Xu sweeping the floor in a hurry, "I told you many times that you don't want to wash the dishes."

"Okay, okay, don't embarrass me, I will learn to wash dishes sooner or later." Yin Xu dumped the debris into the trash can, came over and hugged him warmly, "Why did you come out without slippers? Are you cold, cover yourself with a quilt."

"You clean it up better, or you'll hurt the egg roll."

"Understood, don't worry, just lie down."

After Yin Xu went out, Wei Siyuan was playing with his mobile phone under the covers, and the egg roll slipped into his arms, snoring all the time, and then Yin Xu packed his things and came back, hugging him behind him, and the egg roll was one person and one cat Sandwiching him in the middle, he had already had enough sleep, and now he started to feel drowsy again.

Half asleep and half awake for several hours, Wei Siyuan felt that Yin Xu seemed to be too sleepy to keep falling asleep, so he quietly got up to take a shower and brush his teeth, and changed into pajamas by the way.

After drying his hair, he went back to the bed, looked at Yin Xu's sleeping face on his stomach for a while, then lowered down and touched his lips, but he didn't expect Yin Xu's sleep to be as shallow as closing his eyes, so he took advantage of this on the spot. The person who took the initiative to steal the kiss while asleep grabbed the bag, clasped his waist and refused to move, squinted his eyes and said vaguely, "The kissing skills are still so bad, kiss again."

Wei Siyuan was so frightened that his heart almost jumped out, and he paused for a few seconds before laughing, then obediently lowered his head and touched his lips with his lips again.

This time Yin Xu responded to him, gently sucking his lips, and then inserted the tip of his tongue between his teeth, curling his soft tongue to invite him to linger with him, and his warm breath gradually rushed The aggravation is entwined with the sound of kisses that make people blush, and they are constantly plundering each other, breathing and possessing each other in the warming love.

When the two lips parted, Yin Xu turned over and pressed Wei Siyuan underneath, lowered his head and dropped the kiss on his neck, licked the place where the blood vessels under his skin slightly floated, and gently sucked and bit. But it is much deeper than pure love/desire, so just this kind of tenderness makes both of them feel satisfied, but they are still unsatisfied.

When he pressed his chest close, Wei Siyuan realized that Yin Xu's heart was beating faster than his, but it didn't take long for them to adjust the frequency to the same.

"The baby smells even better after taking a bath." Yin Xu put his chin to his chin, and kissed again after talking, no matter how hugged or how close they felt, it was not enough.

"Aren't you going to rehearse today?" Wei Siyuan asked.

"I've already practiced almost. Regardless of that, taking care of you is the top priority. Is your stomach still uncomfortable?"

"It's much better," Wei Siyuan said, "Why didn't I realize that you were so clingy before? I thought you were abstinent, it's really a broken design."

"I held it back on purpose before, and when I couldn't hold it back, I secretly thought about you solving it yourself." Seeing that his face was flushed to the base of his ears, Yin Xu couldn't help curling his lips, "It's not too late to find out now, and it's very late." I regret to tell you that at my age, I have been holding back for so many years, and now I am very dissatisfied with desire, I hope you are mentally prepared."

"Is it too late to regret it now?"

"That's too late."