[Comprehensive + Sword Dance] Warm Wind Story

The author has something to say:

(Correction, update at eleven o'clock tonight)

The opening description is about 300 words, which is derived from the works of Osamu Dazai.

The content of the memory is that there was a period of time when Qinghe joined Hong Kong and Heilongjiang (after the Moonlight Incident), and Oda Saku was not dead yet, and everyone "had a good time" during the blank period.

While filling in the gaps in the plot, I wrote about Mr. Dazai, who the author Sang thought, but not necessarily well written.Maybe the author Sang doesn't know him very well, nor can he say that he loves him so much, but when he saw Wen Ye, the author Sang did not lie about his liking for him.

When I was writing this chapter, my mood was very complicated. Whether in the book or outside the book, Mr. Dazai is a heart-wrenching person.

If you really want to talk about it, you must be the one who can save yourself, and Wen Ye's original work can be regarded as the theme of "self-salvation".But the author Sang felt that it was difficult for a person who has been avoiding to learn to face it, so he sent Qinghe, who understands and supports him, to help him get out of this lonely cage, bringing him perhaps noisy, but even occasionally warm feelings. It was also lively enough to make him a promise that he would never change.

Perhaps there is no meaning to saving such a tall man, the author Sang also hopes that Qinghe will become the eternal light in his heart, so that he can find a way to survive even if there is only one inch in this world, and finally gradually redeem himself.

grateful:

读者“巴洛克”,灌溉营养液+102019-08-1401:28:11

读者“抹茶あ影惜”,灌溉营养液+52019-08-1314:11:51

读者“KK”,灌溉营养液+12019-08-1306:25:10

"Dazai-kun, what are you looking at?"

"A rotten world."

From an unknown moment, he felt that this world was hopeless.

People repeat the same thing day by day, following the same routine as yesterday.

Foolish people indulge in superficial happiness, and shameless people vie for blood-stained crowns, but in his eyes, all this is just a twisted and false reality.Like a road with no exit, full of powerless despair.

Everyone in the world talks so obliquely, so evasively, so irresponsibly, so delicately.

This is what he saw before joining Hong Kong and Heilongjiang, and it is still the same after joining.

He was perplexed by people's futile defenses, all the time, all the time, and he had to go with the flow, get away with the joke, or simply nod their head and let the other side have their way, that is, adopt the passivity of a loser.

——It's really boring, so boring that I might as well die.

When he watched Mori Ogai kill the former leader with cold eyes, he still thought so peacefully in his heart.

Mori Ogai, who killed the former leader, arranged everything.

After the gangsters stabilized again, Mori Ogai called him to the chief's office.The room, illuminated only by fragments of light, is indeed a bit silent and depressing.

"Does Dazai-kun think that I am 'evil'?"

Mori Ogai heard the sound of the door opening, sat at the table and looked up at him, trying to see something else from his indifferent expression.

"Boss, are you making any new jokes? The concept of good and evil is set by man, and 'evil' is just a moral word created by man at will."

In his eyes, the world can no longer be judged by good and evil.

"The current leader is you, and this is the fact."

When he was invited to join Hong Kong Hei, he thought he would find something that would change him, but until a long time in the future, he still found nothing.

Violence, death, instinct.

If he gets closer to those dissected human natures, will he be able to further see the nature of human beings and find...the reason to live?

—but nothing.

The existence of Zhongye in the Central Plains stirred up a ripple in the sea of ​​his heart, but it was just a splash that quickly submerged in the water.Until he met Sakunosuke Oda, the world in his eyes finally had something different.

They are really similar, they have some of the same qualities, but one restrains it and tries to change it, and the other goes with the flow and lets it go.

He has been thinking about why he easily accepts the existence of Oda Tsukuru. Obviously, if he were someone else, he would only reject the same kind, or just solve a problem.

It wasn't until later, when he saw Oda Saku died in front of him, that he suddenly understood why his concern for him came from.

——He wanted Odasaku to be the light of his salvation.

Because Odasaku found a new meaning of living in the darkness and broke the barrier that plagued them, Dazai was full of expectations for him.

But unfortunately, until Oda Saku died, he couldn't get the salvation he wanted.

"If it doesn't matter, go to the bright side."

Since you can't find the meaning of living in the dark, let's go to the bright side.

For this reason, he left Hong Kong and Heilongjiang.

When defecting, Dazai stood under a tree a hundred meters away from the building, stopped for some unknown reason, and finally looked back at the headquarters.

It's not that he was reluctant, it's just that he suddenly had other guesses.

Guess how the little lady will react after she leaves.

—Yes, and Missy.

When he met the little lady for the first time, he was just passing by.Because of those firm eyes, and because of her supernatural powers, he finally chose to include her in Hong Kong.

The little lady is of course completely different from Akutagawa.

He originally thought that as long as she was a little more obedient and smarter than Akutagawa, he would not be considered a waste, but he didn't expect that she could do much more than he thought at the beginning.

It was evening.

Hong Kong gangsters have just taken down a hostile force, and everyone is celebrating in the building.However, as the hero who formulated the strategy, he sneaked away from the celebration banquet and sat alone in the shade outside the building.

"What are you thinking, sir?"

"I was thinking about how to die beautifully."

Before he could stay for long, the little lady who got the news came over and brought a glass of champagne for celebration.

"Is it really okay to think about this when everyone is celebrating..."

The little lady, who was only a little taller than his waist, handed him champagne, and she held "children's special" milk in her hand.

Dazai didn't need to think too much about it, he knew that this cup of milk, which didn't match Hongkong and Heiwei, must have been given to her by Chuya, and maybe the old man Guangjin helped him bring it to the celebration banquet.

"No! Didn't the sir promise that I would not die alone?"

"So this is an invitation, Xiao Qinghe." He spread his hands, looking like "you misunderstood me", "Do you want Xiao Qinghe to die in love with me?"

Since the night she took the initiative to hold him, he had changed a certain suicide strategy.

"J."

"Hey~ Mingming Xiaoqing promised me that he would die for love with me."

At that time, he saw the tenderness in those honey-colored eyes.

"I agreed. However, Mister obviously doesn't want to die." The little lady stood in front of him holding a milk cup and looked at him, like a warm sun in winter, "Because Mister will definitely not say 'I I don’t want’, so I had to say it for my husband.”

"Don't talk about the pain in your body, don't talk about your fear of tomorrow, don't talk about your doubts about the world."

If in order to get rid of unnecessary expectations and pain, he should obviously avoid such a topic, but at that moment, he resisted his urge to escape and watched her finish the next words.

"Although my ability is useless to my husband, but... I will work hard to understand him!" The young lady standing under the sunset seemed to be shining, "Just like today, if my husband can't hold on anymore, I must Come to me——I won't let my husband leave with a duplicity, but if he makes up his mind, I will face it with him."

How did he answer that time?

"What big talk are you talking about, you're just a brat~"

He reached out to press her forehead, and gently pushed her back.

She, who was still a little person, was pushed back a step by this force, even so, she did not forget to keep the balance of the milk glass in her hand.When she regained her footing, she glared at him childishly with an angry expression.

"It's not a lie, sir, just wait!"

This time, he took a sip of the champagne she brought and didn't reply.

——This wine is a little sweet, but still in the delicious range.

When the wine was half drunk, the sky was completely dark, and the street lamps by the tree came on one after another.

"Ah, found it."

Zhong Yuanzhong, who was obviously drunk, also came over. He saw them sitting side by side on the chairs, and showed an incomprehensible expression, "I said, you 'hero' are not celebrating at the headquarters, why do you like to go to this kind of party?" Stay in a place where there is not even a shadow of a person?",

The shadows under the street lamps neatly lined up in two rows, changing with people's movements.

"The expected result, nothing to celebrate."

He just doesn't like that kind of scene, and he doesn't like other people's long expectations of him.After all, it is better not to experience it in the first place if you want to calm down again.

But what he said was right, he had predicted today's result a long time ago, and there was no such thing as celebration.

The little lady's eyes kept turning to him, obviously guessing a little bit of his thoughts.But when faced with Zhong Ye's unspeakable gaze, she still chose to change the topic instead of explaining anything.

"Mr. has always been like this, but you, Mr. Chuya, why did you come out?"

"Come out and breathe."

Chuya's coat had been casually draped over a certain chair while drinking, and now even the collar of his shirt was loosened by him, "Besides, I didn't see you at the venue, so I just stopped by to look for you."

Although he said it by the way, Chuya's appearance clearly came to find the little lady.

When he realized this, he raised his eyebrows slightly.

It's not surprising that Dazai has a good relationship with the little lady, after all, he bridged many things.But seeing it with his own eyes now, he was still a little surprised that he would care about the little miss even beyond the relationship between superiors and subordinates.

He ignored the slight discomfort in his heart.

"Mr. Dazai, you are indeed here."

After a few words of chat, Akutagawa followed him.

The mad dog, which was fierce and violent outwardly, now restrained its sharp claws, and approached him cautiously with exquisite food.

"really?"

"Yes, Matsumoto told me before that I want to come here to find you...is there anything wrong?"

Nothing wrong.

It's just that he suddenly discovered that his preferences are controlled by the little lady.

Although most of them are intentionally let others know.

"Oh, everyone is here."

A few minutes later, Odasaku walked over with Ango, who was obviously taken by him along the way.

Each of them held a glass of wine, and estimated that they had just left the venue for a few minutes.Oda Saku may have done it on purpose, but Ango followed honestly as if he was in trouble and didn't want to go.

"So it's obviously a celebration banquet, why did the adults with credit leave first?"

It may be that everyone drank a little wine and talked without the usual scruples.

Ango, who is so cautious, complains now that he doesn't care about class relations, "I'm not surprised that Dazai sneaked away, after all, he has always been like this... Wait, so why did I follow Oda?"

Is it because the food at the venue is not delicious?Or is the wine bad?Or people are not good-looking... Well, there are really not many good-looking people. It is better to say that except for a few cadres, a group of people can't see the face clearly under the sunglasses.

"Ango, isn't the scenery here also suitable for drinking?" Oda Saku looked like he didn't care where he was, but he didn't forget to raise his glass to Dazai, "Hmm... congratulations?"

After thinking for a long time, Oda Saku only said this.

Dazai wanted to laugh for some reason, he held the wine glass that was only one-third full, faced him, and took a sip wordlessly.

While toasting here, the little lady over there and the drunk Zhong have already started bickering.

But her middle-aged lady pressed the young lady's head like a bully, let the other party flutter and refused to let go, finally took a piece of snack from Akutagawa who looked weird and hesitated to help, and stuffed it in the little lady's hand. In the young lady's mouth, success made her mutter a few words and stop refuting his words.

Come and come, Dazai will not drive people away.

He teased Ango with some metaphors, watching him sometimes shocked and flustered, sometimes showing a loveless expression, and he didn't forget to chat with Oda Saku about unimportant things.

As he was talking, out of the corner of his eye, he saw two more people coming from the building.

One is very elegant in a iris kimono, and the other is a gentleman wearing a monocle.

It's sister Hongye and old man Guangjin.

"You guys are really interesting. You don't stay at the venue, and you all come to such a place."

"Didn't Miss Hongye come out too?"

"The concubine just doesn't want to listen to what the leader said... Instead of being there, it's better to find Xiaoqing and have a personal conversation."

Covering his lips with a sleeve fan, Big Sister Hongye glanced at him and then turned his attention to Young Miss.

When the little lady noticed her coming, Sister Hongye put away her sleeve fans with a smile on her face, opened her hands to catch the little lady who was running towards her, hugged her in her arms, and looked down at her lovingly.

"Sister Hongye, you shouldn't have gotten Chuya-sama drunk!"

"Who dares to go to Guanzhongye, it's because he can't stand the smell of wine... What? Did he bully you?"

Miss Hongye asked Big Sister Hongye to bow her head, but Big Sister Hongye was willing to accommodate her, even though they all knew that everyone could hear her.

Dazai saw the young lady muttering a few words in Miss Hongye's ear, and the eyes of Miss Hongye's eyes ranged from curiosity to surprise to "how can you bully the little girl", and finally couldn't help but nod to the little lady. With a sharp nose, he smiled and said, "I'll help you bully Chuuya back".

"—Find it out! Who is bullying whom?!"

Zhong Ye heard what they said clearly, and was obviously taken aback by the young lady's ability to "convert black and white". Seeing that Sister Hongye was about to settle accounts, he shouted quickly, and his face became even redder with anger. up.

Dazai didn't plan to speak for Zhongye, he watched the young lady turn her back to the big sister Hongye and made a face at the middle, and then happily ran to the old man Guangjin to "seek comfort".

"Miss Qinghe, maybe you would like a glass of iced orange juice right now?"

They all knew that this was just a joke, but when the old man Guangjin saw the young lady approaching him, he still smiled and replaced the empty glass in the young lady's hand with the orange juice he brought, which attracted the young lady to thank him sweetly.

Seeing Dazai looking at him, Mr. Hirotsu lowered his head politely as a greeting.

After the "grievance" between Zhongya and Miss was resolved, he also drank the last sip of wine in the glass.

When everyone bid farewell one by one, the little lady was the last to leave.Sister Hongye who sent her home stood far away, consciously giving them space to be alone.

"Well, sir, are you happy today?"

"Xiao Qinghe, next time you can't make any claims on your own."

——This night was a bit noisy for him, but it was acceptable just this one time.

This was a "reunion" she deliberately made up, probably because seeing him sitting there alone seemed too deserted.

Dazai didn't know how to describe Qinghe's position in his heart.

If she was not important, why would he give up the idea of ​​dying alone because of her?

But if she is important, why can he easily abandon her and leave Hong Kong and Heilongjiang without any news for four years?

—he's just a "coward."

Because you don't want to lose, you don't want to get it.

Even if he came to the light because of Oda Saku's words, and held the hope that "it will be a little bit better", the feeling of loneliness is always with him.

He rots quietly in the dark.

But in this darkness, one ray of light never fades away.

"If my husband is afraid of losing, I am willing to give him an 'absolute' promise."

The little girl's appearance in memory has long changed, but Dazai knows that every word she said to him has not broken her promise.

The emotion in her eyes scorched the communication boundary he set up, and under those eyes that seemed to be overflowing with fine moonlight, there was nowhere to hide his evasion.

Hidden deep in his heart, the real him huddled into a ball silently stopped crying because of such words.

At that moment, "they" looked at her with the same mood.

——Give him a hope of living, even if there is only a little bit.

"'No matter when, no matter where, no matter what happens, sir will never lose me.' . . . This is the only thing I can assure you."

The light that overwhelmed the "disqualification in the world" was imprinted in his eyes. This was the first time he saw the power over "invalidity" with his own eyes.

This is an oath that will never change.

Can he... believe in such an agreement?

"Then, would you like to share the rest of your life with me, sir?"

"……OK."

With a three-point joking tone, he reversed his previous position and held her hand.

- It's like holding the future in your hands.

This time, he put his heart into her hands.

"Sir, what are you looking at?"

"A decayed world without losing hope."