[Bungo Stray Dogs] Yokohama Renka

"Miss Akagi, you may think that I won't be interested in your abnormality. Your carelessness makes you full of flaws, which is not good. Even if a normal person loses his memory, he will not understand what you know, let alone perceive it. Chuya's attack from behind, as my partner, Chuya's physical skills are very good."

Dazai fiddled with the monitor, the small instrument turned upside down in his fingers.

"..." I was speechless.

At that time, how did I know that what you were investigating was related to me.

The boy—the expression didn't change, but I felt something was shaking under the young body in front of me.I couldn't describe the subtle feelings in my heart, I just stared blankly at Dazai's eyes.

"Miss Akagi, can you tell me: what does it feel like to die?"

His tone was so calm.

But when he asked me, for some reason, I seemed to hear the crying of a child in the dark night, beating my heart deafeningly.

At that moment, I couldn't connect Dazai with the nasty brat before.

Originally, his question made me feel that my privacy had been violated, but the expression on the boy's face made my anger disappear.

Seeing him like this, I can't help recalling the disgraceful past that belonged to Yu Akagi.

An East Asian baby born in an orphanage in Los Angeles met a master who practiced blood fighting at the age of seven, and he was attracted by his talent.The master who has no human feelings for a long time only wants a successor of the blood fighting technique, so he is very indifferent to me.Immediately after leaving the teacher, I was kicked out by the master, and the last thing he said to me was: "Go to society and continue to practice, kid."

Then at 14 I became a mercenary.Because of my excellent professional skills and relatively good reputation, I gradually became famous in that violent world.

Most of my job is to guard the transported things, protect some people who pay me to hire me, and break the killing ring when necessary.

At that time, I just lived numbly, had something to eat, and a place to live.The customer's request must be fulfilled, what should not be said should not be said nonsense, and those who betray me must be eradicated, keep these three bottom lines, spend the money recklessly when they get it, and have no friends and no affiliation to go back to.

For me at the time, there was no justice or evil in people, and they were all walking corpses driven by profit.including myself.

I believe in nothing, hold on to nothing, just go with the flow, like everyone else I know.

The friends I can meet in my dreams are one of the few warmth I have, but this warmth is torture when I am awake.I wanted to believe that she was real, but couldn't believe that she wasn't really my fantasy.

Those who are accustomed to a life of squalor do not realize that salvation exists.Not to mention pursuing the meaning of life, anyway, everyone is like this, living ignorantly.

I was born so abruptly, and my life ended just as abruptly.

The reason is that when I was hunting a vampire, I was encouraged to make up the last knife. The vampire cursed me before dying, and I would die of weakness within a month.

The group of fellows who could be called my partners were crying in my ward, and the next day they all ran to hold a dinner party to celebrate the successful hunting of the vampire without telling me.

My body is getting weaker and weaker day by day, I don't know what to do, death may come to me every day, but when it comes to the top of my head, I become confused instead, and when I finally stop breathing, I don't have any thoughts, I have no regrets or nostalgia, and I don't feel that it is a pity that I died long ago.No one taught me the value of life.

To be dead is to be dead, there is no consciousness and no thoughts, no hell and no heaven, and losing life is simply "lost".

Dazai asked me what it felt like to die, but I felt that he would not be happy if I told my experience. I think what he was asking me was not what death was, but what he wanted to know was life. significance.

I cannot answer this question.

Living numbly all the time, the life I have experienced in the past is not really alive at all.It was only after I started my second life that I had the idea of ​​finding the meaning of life for Yui, whom I could no longer see again.

If there is anything I can say to Dazai right now, it should be to persuade him to move forward, that's all I can think of.

"Death means you don't feel anything... Although I really want to answer you like this," I thought about it, "But Dazai, my previous life was just to let my body continue to live. I didn't understand the meaning of life and I couldn't understand the real death. So I can't answer your question."

"I don't know why you are so interested in death, but I think, in my second life, I want to get rid of my past self and move on."

The conversation between me and Dazai was a bit shallow, but I don't think I violated my principles.If it were me in the past, I would definitely not have seen Dazai's cry for help and struggle, so if I can say these words today, it can prove that I am already moving forward, right?

Dazai looked at me, he didn't say a word, but it didn't take long, the confusion and fragility that had just appeared on the boy's face dissipated like morning mist, and he became the young mafia member he saw at the beginning .

Seeing Dazai's indifferent reaction, I understood that he didn't like my answer at all.

The spaciousness and brightness of the office became a torment to the spirit in the suffocating silence.

In the end, it was me who broke the difficult atmosphere.

"I answered your question, let me get out of here. I don't want to join the port mafia."

"No way." Dazai said.

"……why?!"

"Miss Akagi is easy to be deceived by me, and the truth is tricked out. So she is easy to deceive and powerful, and you can let me trust you who have let me know the biggest secret. Now I just need Such subordinates."

"...?? Are you praising me? I don't want to join the port mafia."

"I'm praising you."

"...What if I don't join in life or death?"

"Then I have to..." Dazai's expression suddenly became weird, he took my hand and said softly, "I let you die in love with me."

"..."

I simply...can't resist this person...

This is the first time for me to experience such aggrieved mood. In the past, I was the only one who made others unhappy?

And die for love? ? ?

What does the word read as martyrdom mean in the writing mind?It looks nice, but to put it bluntly, doesn’t it mean that if you don’t mess with me, I’ll let you die?

In this way, I successfully changed my job from a neutral free mercenary to a fresh villain, a dormitory room, a set of work clothes, an indescribable monthly salary, and a very unreliable Minors directly report to one supervisor.

Although Yui's body is also underage.

Speaking of which, before taking up the post, I was taken to see the members of the Mafia working, and they were all much younger than my colleagues in the world before me.

This can't help but make me think that the boss of the mafia is a hot chick who hires child labor, and he and Dazai seem to have a close relationship (I learned from the lady at the front desk who was leading the clothes), which made my thoughts start. Be disrespectful to your boss.

After I joined the port mafia, I became a member of the guerrillas directly, because Dazai is now the leader of the guerrillas, and he looks like he will be a cadre in the future if he does a good job.Sure enough, the treatment in any social relationship household is very good, and I comforted myself with joy in bitterness.

Be strong, Youjiang, think about how long it will take for those low-level miscellaneous fish to get into the guerrillas, you have achieved other people's life goals on the first day of work, be happy!

But... I don't want to be a mafia at all.

Now I am standing among a group of big men in black suits with guns and knives, and I look out of place because I am short.

Although I think so, but I have a characteristic, what work must be done earnestly and steadfastly.Even if I am forced to, I must complete my work with quality and quantity.

So today, the seniors I just met and I are going to teach a lesson to several crooked melon cracking jujube groups nearby.

...Hey, I'm a newcomer, I'm going shopping right away, isn't it good?

After asking this question, what I got was the blank expressions of the seniors.

"But Mr. Dazai specially ordered us to take you to familiarize ourselves with our work process?"

I:……

Me: Yes!Dazai-sama is wise and powerful, how could he make a wrong decision?Let's go.

The author has something to say:

Therefore, Yui, who left the scene at the beginning, really had a very important influence on the heroine. The heroine's previous state refers to the 14-year-old Lai Wei of Black Lagoon, but she is not as ruffian as her.

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