[Bungo Stray Dogs] Yokohama Renka

I want to live a peaceful and ordinary life without pain, sadness, and despair, and I want to keep a clear mind all the time.

Have you all had times when you thought this way?

Falling in love with someone means worrying about gains and losses from now on, that person will become the supreme existence in my heart, and a slight move can set off a stormy sea in my heart.Love is a ferocious emotion, and the other side of pity and pity is destruction, destruction and occupation.

It is difficult to control.

Destroyed to tear away rationality, no matter how smart the brain is, it will be burned by the temperature of passionate love, but it has to resist the desire for the other party with a little pitiful perseverance, keep the same appearance as before, and dare not let the other party know that he is despicable Thoughts, I am afraid that he will also be pulled into this frenzied love.

Even if you think this way, you can't help but commit the crime again and again, cross the restricted area frequently, and hide your sincerity while laughing and cursing, so that you can taste the sweet taste without burden, even if the next thing is an itch like a hundred claws scratching your heart, you will Addictions generally crave the taste of poisonous honey.

I seem to have seen someone use this long passage to describe the love stories of the protagonists. At that time, it was just an extensive reading, but today I remember it completely in my mind for some reason.Maybe it was because the sun was too bright, or the surroundings were too noisy, but this calming speech suddenly appeared, and the dazzling white light made people less angry.

"Why didn't the door open until eleven o'clock, but you asked me to come at nine o'clock?" I supported my head, the veins in my forehead were throbbing due to lack of sleep, and my brain was buzzing.

"There are a lot of street performers around here, isn't it a very interesting scenery for Xiaoyou who doesn't want to go out?" Dazai answered my question in a good mood. He was still wearing the same black suit, even the overcoat Fully equipped and hot to look at.

"Look, there's a mascot over there too, do you want to take a photo with it?"

"No, that thing can be seen as wild at first sight. Wouldn't it be stupid to give it away even knowing it's a money trap?"

"Are you still angry about that?"

I sighed helplessly, hearing Dazai's calm tone hidden a little unconscious cautiousness, and patted the boy's thin shoulder with my hand: "I'm not angry anymore. Haven't I finished punishing Dazai-sama?"

When I went back and calmed down, I realized how weird Dazai was at that time. Was it because the physical pain weakened his will that he leaked his flaws, or was there another reason?

Did I inadvertently miss his pain and become a villain who watched from the sidelines?

This idea has been entangled with me for a long time before I came here today.

Dazai is also a very special existence to me. My feeling for him is not love, but it is not friendship or maternal outburst. I can only be sure that I cannot leave him alone.

Only this person's cry for help, I can't help but answer.

Even knowing that he was scary at times, I didn’t like the appearance of him at that time, but how can I say that such a person with a perfect shell has exposed his weaknesses that are not easy to show in front of me, those who don’t want to The small kindnesses that let me know that the resulting burden wasn't fake either.

I also vaguely understand that Dazai also seems to have vague expectations of me. As for what he is looking forward to, that is a new puzzle.

"Since you don't want to take a photo with the mascot, why not take a photo with me." Dazai said coaxingly, "Let's keep it as a souvenir."

I was dragged away, seeing that he was happy and did not refuse again, the wandering peddler saw an opportunity and immediately made a deal.Before I could react, the flashing lights came on.The Polaroid photo was handed over to Dazai, and I examined the hastily taken photo with dissatisfaction.

In the photo, I looked confused, and Dazai was holding my arm almost into my arms.He is very photogenic, and a little gentle expression that is inadvertently revealed makes the handsome young man's face look even more attractive. I, who has a loose expression, are dimmed by his radiant and moving expression, and I am a bratty yellow-haired girl.

"...I want to retake it!" I stretched out my hand and tried to grab the photo in Dazai's hand, but he is specialized in escaping characters in Taijutsu. one time.

"You are so cute in the photo, Yuu, there is no need to take a new one," Dazai put the photo away, "Look, the amusement park is open, let's go."

Because it is the weekend, there are a lot of people today, and the white gravel road is crowded and crowded. I was afraid of being separated from Dazai, so I took the initiative to grab the corner of his clothes. hand.

"Master Dazai?"

"This way you won't be separated from You-chan, right? Did Xiaoyou feel my fiery heart?"

"..."

Every time there is ambiguity, Dazai will always use funny to mess up the sticky air.I finally noticed this, and squeezed his hand back a little angrily, only to be secretly pleased when I saw his surprised expression.

Pirate ship, roller coaster, roller coaster, selected exciting projects have gone through one by one.

Every time I came to a project, I stared at Dazai with trepidation, for fear that he was playing suicide art here.But unexpectedly, he was surprisingly honest today.

During the meal break, Dazai said sullenly: "Why is Xiaoyou not afraid at all, I am still looking forward to Yuchan, who is like a newborn deer, throwing himself into my broad embrace with a loving attitude."

"Isn't our usual work much more dangerous than this?" I sucked on soda, the cold water vapor refreshed me, and replied to Dazai's words in a good voice.

"That's right, you won't be afraid of the haunted house in the afternoon, right?"

"……Won't."

"Eh~ Your tone is very shaken, isn't it?"

I used to be not afraid of ghosts, until I lived in HL for three months, those legendary ghosts and monsters became reality, and most of them love to eat human flesh, among which the blood race is the most notorious.After picking up carloads of flesh and blood, I became a little afraid of ghosts.It’s a different matter during the battle. I usually feel a little scared when I see it at first glance, which is why I gradually become a waste house: more than half of the residents walking on HL Street are of different species.

This relatively safe world is now... well, not safe, but at least there are no ghosts.After getting here, I'm still afraid of ghosts and monsters, and I don't even want to go to a haunted house if I can.But seeing Dazai's teasing expression, I forced myself to go to the haunted house.

Isn't it just the ghosts played by the staff? How can I, the majestic Akagi Yu, stagnate here?

After 5 minutes, I silently grabbed Dazai's arm.

Ten minutes later, I wrapped my arms around Dazai's arms, trying to use his body to block my eyes.

After 15 minutes, we left the haunted house, and Dazai and I stood shoulder to shoulder, speechless, trembling in silence.

"...Xiaoyou?"

When he called my name, it seemed to turn on a switch in my brain. I reflexively approached Dazai, stretched out my hands and hugged his waist tightly, buried my face in his chest, and started to say something that I didn’t even know I was talking about. What words, kept muttering in his mouth, rubbing his face against his chest, asking for warmth to comfort his frightened self.

Dazai was at a loss at first, then patted my head, "You are hugging me too tightly, Yuu, do you need to buy some sweets for you to calm down?"

"...Let me hold you for a while longer." I said sullenly.

It's strange... Is it the drawbridge effect or some kind of emotion has undergone a qualitative change at this moment, I don't want to let go, even if the fear has passed.

Is the feeling of wanting to rely on him at this moment the so-called heartbeat?

"No, Yuu." Dazai forcefully pulled me away from his arms.

I stared blankly at the boy, and saw the pain and helplessness in his eyes, the inner weakness was only shown for a moment, and the ice covered the brilliance of the iris eyes again, and the smile on his face seemed to float on the paper On the face, pale and false.

I came back to my senses and took a few steps back in a daze.Shaking my head vigorously as if trying to get rid of the messy thoughts in my head, I took a deep breath and felt the burning of my nasal cavity.

"Let's stop here today, I want to go home." I said wearily.

"Wait a minute, Yuu."

"...Don't go too far."

Dazai hugged me from behind, wrapped his hands around my shoulders, and said with a smile, "This is the last time to be self-willed. Please be patient, Yuu."

"?"

"Ah! I really want to ride the Ferris wheel with my lovely subordinates. If this long-cherished wish cannot be fulfilled, I will never let her go!"

"Master Dazai...don't act like this again," I said indifferently, "What if I like you?"

"That can't be done, Xiaoyou doesn't have plans to date me in the future, does he?"

"Yes, never."

But now I am really a little afraid that I will change.

"Well, that would be great. Shall we go to line up?" Dazai's expression could not be seen, but his tone was irritatingly refreshing.

I didn't answer, but I didn't refuse any more.

"Cosmic Clock 21" is a landmark of Yokohama. During the day, you can overlook the vast sea view, and at night, you can overlook the charming night view of Yokohama.

I hadn't been here before, but I could see this huge landmark from far away.It is already very beautiful from a distance, and you can experience the beauty of the Ferris wheel even more when you sit on it.

Not wanting to look at Dazai's face across the way, I pressed my forehead against the glass of the compartment door, watching the ground go away from us, as if the troubles and sorrows belonging to the world on the ground had also gone away from me.

On the sea and buildings in the distance, the lights are on and off like fireflies in the wind, and like stars falling on the ground. The stars in the night sky and the stars on the ground are connected together, and the place where I am is the door connecting the two starry skies. , like a wonderful scene seen in a dream.

"Xiao Yu." Dazai interrupted my appreciation of the scenery, I turned my head angrily, but was stunned by his deep eyes, speechless.

I had a hunch that what he said next was something I didn't want to hear.

"You are really not suitable for the life of the mafia at all. I was wrong. The subordinates who can't kill the killer will only get in the way. Even Xiaoyou, I can only fire you."

"On the day you went to inspect, you could have killed all the people who were chasing you, right? But when your own life was threatened, you still showed mercy. In vain, I still expect a little bit from you. You only have ability, but you didn't kill anyone. courage, this will not work."

Dazai was smiling, but the smile was fake as if painted on his face.

"Master Dazai?"

"It was my mistake to get you involved here without authorization. It's really shameful. Let Zhong also know what he might be laughed at."

"what do you mean……"

"Well, it means to fire Xiaoyou. Don't worry, you will be paid compensation according to the labor law. After you leave, please don't have anything to do with us, and don't tell anyone about what happened during this period. Yes You are a good thing, Xiaoyou, aren't you? You have always wanted to escape, and I am thinking of you too."

It's a good business word.

Dazai was right here, at half an arm's length away, you could touch him with your hand.But at this moment, he is also in a distant place. The sense of alienation when he wakes up in the morning lies between me and the boy in front of me. He who once exposed his weakness to me has closed his heart again.

If I accept his actions in silence here, and just quietly return to ordinary daily life, I will lose something I don't want to lose.I will never be able to touch Dazai again.

And I don't want to be a stranger to him at all.

"That would be great, anyway, I just want to live the life of an ordinary person... Do you think I would say that?"

I took a deep breath, and raised my hand to gently rub Dazai's hair. It was fluffy, like the fur of a large dog, but it felt better.I wanted to try it before.

"Since you think it's a good thing, then don't say evil things with a face that is about to cry. It's really embarrassing."

He didn't seem to have guessed that I would react like this, and his eyes widened slightly in surprise.Immediately, that perfect shell fell apart, and the thick layer of ice in the iris eyes also melted, dissolving into a lustrous light like honey.

"...Xiaoyu is handsome as always." Dazai sighed as if admitting defeat.

He grabbed my hand stroking his hair, and leaned over to control my upper body in his arms. From a very close distance, I saw the scenery outside reflected in his eyes, which was breathtakingly beautiful.

As long as I move a little, I can feel the temperature belonging to Dazai, and our faces are so close now.

"Say you want me to kiss you," Dazai said with a little pleading, "otherwise I can't touch you anymore, Yuu..."

This must be a dream, that's why I'm in the starry sky with him, the sense of time and space is distorted, the only thing I can see and grasp is Dazai, it's like he and I are the only two people in the small world, I obey Muttering what he wanted me to say, just as he asked.

"Master Dazai, please kiss me."

Then a small kiss fell from the corner of his mouth, soft, warm and affectionate, like a piece of April spring flowers rubbing against his lips, and then he began to suck his lips, prying his teeth open and penetrating into his mouth, the light and shallow kiss gradually became sweeter Get tired.

"Yu, close your eyes."

So I closed my eyes obediently, put my arm around the boy's neck, and responded to his gentle kiss.

Now it seems that the Ferris wheel has turned to the highest point, and the stars a thousand kilometers away can be easily touched.Even with our eyes closed, we can feel the brilliant light shining on us.But I know that this indulgent kiss is also the last madness, a misty and beautiful dream, after the Ferris wheel turns for a week, we will also wake up from the dream and return to the cold and dark reality.

At least here, before the end, on the little planet called Earth, I kissed him, he kissed me, for that eternity, we did kiss to prove the unspeakable affection.

After crossing the peak point, the altitude began to drop, Dazai let go of me, our breathing was disordered, and only each other exchanging breaths was in sight.

In this farewell kiss, I realized that even if I wanted to stay, Dazai would not let me stay with him, if this continues, he and I will lose control.

And it is more important to me to live normally according to the last wish of my dead friend than to accompany Dazai.

I finally understood why he was presumptuous that day. At that time, he had foreseen my choice now, and he just made the decision for me.

"..."

In the silence, we returned to the cold ground.

Dazai chuckled and helped me straighten my messy forehead hair. He said to me as if he was reciting:

"Goodbye (さようなら), Yuu. Take care of yourself."

I watched the boy get up and leave, and couldn't help shouting: "Dazai!"

"Even if it's not me, you will meet someone who will change your life in the future, so..."

So don't die.Even in that dark world, where living is like dying, I hope he can live.

Dazai didn't stop and didn't look back, his slender figure gradually disappeared into the night.

He went back into the darkness that I can no longer touch.

The author has something to say:

The end of the dark chapter.That's right, Youmei's participation in the plot was only before the Dragon Head War, so I said that there was a bug in the outline timeline, and she couldn't meet the Akutagawa brothers and sisters.The main reason why Dazai chased Yumei away was because he had a premonition of the war. He was afraid that he would force her to kill and then use her to destroy his own hope.So if Yumi killed someone that day, Dazai would not let her go.

Everyone knows who the previous paragraph is talking about. I have been stabbing Dazai for two consecutive chapters, which is simply too devilish.I swear that the plot of Butei Jae will be sweet.