A Doctor's Zombie Feeding Diary

While I did affirm to Niyo that nothing would happen to Gerald on the way out, I would have to make sure Gerald wasn't getting hurt or actively hurting others - which would probably be a big project, even if I know Gerald will listen to me, but it's better to let him figure it out for himself.

Niyo rushed upstairs soon after dinner, said hello to me, and then closed the door, not knowing what to do in there.Probably because the temperature in the living room was too comfortable, Gerald also lay on the chair for a while before he was willing to move his body again.

"You've become more and more lazy since you came here." I sat next to him, grabbed the end of his hair with two fingers and gently pulled it, and picked up the warm water beside me to moisten my throat, "Now The infected people outside are getting stronger and stronger, you may not be able to beat them when you go back, huh?"

Gerald tilted his head slightly following the movements of my hands, his expression was a little careless, but his eyes were still looking at me intently.

"Tomorrow afternoon or the day after tomorrow, we will set off, first go to the city center, meet Mr. Fisher at the clubhouse, listen to his arrangements, and if everything is ok, we will go to the North District to see Look." I whispered to him in a steady and slow tone, "Strictly speaking, this should be the first time I take you out, this time I will not put you in a cage, and try to give you freedom. But you Promise you'll listen to me all the way, Gerald, and don't make trouble, will you?"

He looked at me, and the meaning in his eyes seemed to be clearer than before. He lowered his eyes and looked at my hand holding the end of his hair, and nodded.

"It's good if you understand." I laughed, retracted my hand and put it on my lap casually, the other hand was still holding the cup and turning it slowly, "Although I don't know if you really understand what I'm saying What's the matter, but at least you have been obedient so far. You must not cause any chaos when you are taken out this time, otherwise if the government finds out that I am walking outside with a person infected with a vicious virus, I will definitely find a way to come Take you away... Even if I can protect you, there will be a lot of trouble in the future." I sat up a little bit and pushed his chin lightly, "Do you understand?"

He put his eyes back on me again, looked at me for a while, then suddenly leaned forward, put one hand on the edge of my seat, and the other on the back of my chair, leaning against me come over.I didn't speak any more, watched him slowly approaching quietly, then pressed his forehead to my shoulder socket, and retracted the hand supporting the seat, and walked around my back, at a slightly lower place He hugged me gently.

The tip of his ear was almost directly attached to my lips, and the heat was continuously transmitted to my nerves from the seemingly non-existent friction.The temperature in the house is balanced, so I only wear a shirt that is easy to move, and his profile and lips are tightly attached to my shirt. His breath seeps into the skin through this thin layer of fabric, It almost boiled the temperature of my blood.

I stretched out my arms and wrapped them around his waist to make him lean more comfortably on me. I silently felt his instinctively expressing kind movements almost like a cub, and my inner struggle was like being trapped in a sea of ​​swords and flames.

In the end, I chose to follow my inner thoughts, lowered my head and kissed his forehead.

At this moment, I seem to be able to clearly feel the establishment and collapse of a certain place in my heart, like a glorious monument, lost to time along the trend of the times, and then a more magnificent church stands erect on the spot.I've never felt such an ebb and flow of emotions like the tides. My consciousness and emotions are entangled and wrestling fiercely, tearing and caressing my constantly vibrating soul.While feeling the turbulent and rolling waves, I also realized that this would be a choice that made me more uncertain than ever before.

When I kissed his forehead, I could clearly feel his momentary stupefaction and stiffness. He raised his head quickly and rubbed the tip of his nose against my lips.Before he raised his head even further and made things go out of hand, I turned my face, a few inches away from him, and smiled at him from a relatively safe and restrained distance.

Gerald was still clinging to my chest, but looked up at me with a dazed expression, probably not understanding what I had just done.The way he looked at me was as clear as ever but not ignorant, which almost made me feel an unspeakable sense of guilt.

"I'm waiting for the day when you're fully recovered and can truly understand every word I've ever said to you." I heard myself finally whisper, "I'm sure it won't be very far."

I put my hands around his sides, gently pushed him back into his own seat in the usual way, smiled and continued: "Whatever your final choice is, I will be happy for you— —As long as your final conclusion is what you want and makes you happy, no matter what decision you make, I will feel satisfied.”

I could see that he was not happy to be pushed away by me, he even frowned because of this, and his expression became unhappy, but I still decided to abide by the principle and stick to my usual bottom line, "We have only known each other for about half a year , you have existed in me every day for the past six months, even if I am a rock, I can't stand getting along with you like this, Gerald."

"Give me a little time." I maintained my smile, but I didn't feel much joy from the heart. I only felt a stream of sweet and sour feeling flowing along my blood vessels in my body. I couldn't tell whether it was bitter or bitter. Gan Tian, ​​"Since you can't express it accurately, wait until I've really confirmed your thoughts before deciding what to do in the future."

"Probably you don't even know it yourself," my voice became lower and lower, and only kept at a volume that he must be able to hear, "Now you only have me in your eyes, and you don't seem to care about anything other than me ——This is not what I expected to see. Regardless of whether you will completely return to normal in the end, you cannot live just for me. My concern and care for you will prompt you to have a strong sense of dependence on me, but I I don’t want you to end up not knowing anyone but me and ignoring it.”

I looked at him with a complicated expression, sighed, and finally said: "I hope that the happiness and happiness you will get in the future is based on a complete world view."

Then I didn't say any more, because I felt his gaze staring at me. Although it may not be as clear as I imagined, it is definitely not dazed.He heard what I just said, and tried to understand—that was enough for him now.

Then I sat with him for a long time, and he didn't give me any response. He looked at me as intently as when he was still in the research institute. His expression seemed to be a little different, but it seemed to be exactly the same as usual.

Accompanying us in this silence is Niyo who has been standing by the stairs on the second floor, with his forearms propped on the guardrail on the second floor.I don't know exactly when he started standing there, but when I caught sight of him out of the corner of his eye, he was already in that position.Thanks to him being such an active and lively person, he was able to maintain the same posture for so long in this atmosphere.

Gerald didn't seem to feel tired at all after a long time. He stared at me stubbornly, didn't give me a response, and didn't seem to want my response. It felt like he was enjoying the silence at this moment.I am also happy to hang out with him and waste this time, which has almost become our consistent mode of getting along. I don't think such behavior is boring, at least his brain should be spinning when he looks at me like this.I can also take this opportunity to think about things at the same time, which is more convenient than when I am alone in the room thinking about it.

We sat opposite each other for a long time, and finally when he leaned on the back of the chair and became a little drowsy, I stood up and pulled him up, took him upstairs together, and sent him back to the room to rest.On the way, I passed Niyo who was leaning against the stairs. He was looking at us thoughtfully, and when he met my gaze, he even smiled strangely.

I was almost aware of his little thoughts, so after putting Gerald to bed so that he could concentrate on resting, I walked out of the room again, and as expected, I saw him standing in the corridor, and when I walked out the door Raised eyebrows.

"I've actually suspected it for a long time." He put on a serious expression and said seriously.

"Doubt what?"

He shook his head, didn't say anything, but changed the subject abruptly, and said suddenly: "Jarie Miville received a call from his father a few days ago, guess what his father said?"

I followed his lead and asked, "How?"

"His father has always been a very serious person—at least in my guess. After all, he was such a famous soldier back then. How could he not be iron-blooded and serious?" He touched his chin and said, " However, I eavesdropped on a part of their phone call, and found that the old general seemed to be sitting at home with his wife, Carrie’s mother, watching entertainment programs, and chatting with his son about some small daily routines that we could meet almost every day. "

Hearing his words, I already guessed what he wanted to express, so I laughed and nodded slightly.

"My thinking is actually very jumpy, and I usually don't have any nerves. I always talk nonsense." He judged himself accurately, then looked at me with a smile, and said absurd and touching words without shame, "I am very Happy, and the happiest person in the world, Leo."