A Doctor's Zombie Feeding Diary

"... Attitude?" Gerald looked at me for a while, still a little puzzled.

"It's one of the hardest things to say, everyone has a different view of love." I explained to him as clearly as possible, "Like you're curious about Nyo. Nyo loves Carrie Miville, so He will feel happy and sad because of him, he will worry about his safety and situation, and he will not be able to bear his sudden disappearance or departure from his life. For Jiali Miweier, he is also unwilling to lose Niyo ,Nyoshi is the person he hopes to see in every second of his life. Although they seldom mention these, they don’t appear to be very close, and even many people can’t guess their relationship at all, but some feelings are actually not It needs to be interpreted deliberately. If you think this is an emotion you want or like, then this emotion is completely exclusive to you. No matter how others understand it, as long as you think your understanding is correct, then it is also be fearless."

"...So, love is liking." After trying to understand, Gerald told me his conclusion.

"It's a kind of liking that you can't restrain, that comes from the bottom of your heart, unpredictable and unpredictable." I handed him the knife and fork in the lunch box, let him hold it in his hand, and then didn't Eager to satisfy his hunger, he patiently said to him, "It will give you the courage to lose everything, and it will also give you the determination to continue working hard for what you have. It can bring you the world Joy can also destroy all your expectations overnight."

Gerald still didn't seem to understand. He was stirring the lunch box with a fork, and his eyes were still fixed on me.

I also knew that what I said seemed a bit awkward to him, so after thinking for a while, I said: "For example, I love Ai Weilang, he is my family, and he is also my family." I have been trying to protect the object for many years, so for him, I can give up my life and all ideals, so that he can survive in a more stable environment."

Regarding this point, Gerrard probably understood it very early, so he nodded to express his understanding.

"But while loving him, I also love you." I said this sentence slowly, allowing the meaning in the words to be clearly conveyed to Gerald. This is a fact that I have never denied all this time. It is also the determination I have always adhered to, "I can give up my life for his safety, but I am also willing to continue my life for you. I don't want to lose you. I want to be able to live every day in the future. Seeing you live a healthy and happy life, and the only condition to guarantee this is that I am still alive like you."

"……why?"

"Because you don't want to lose me, you will feel panic and sad because I am not around." I smiled and reached out to touch his cheek, and said, "If my existence is the motivation and goal of your life, then I I am very willing to be your expectation and reliance—because I don’t want to lose you, and I also feel reluctance and pain because you may leave me.”

"I won't leave you." He frowned, held my hand on his cheek, as if trying to make me believe him, and said, "I don't want to leave you."

"I know." I felt the temperature in his palm and replied, "So while you are willing to rely on me, your existence is also an opportunity to support me to try not to get hurt and to live hard——When I met Before you, I could even sacrifice myself for Ai Weilang and Jiali Miweier at any time, but now it seems that I may no longer have such courage."

He looked at me with a slightly relaxed expression on his face.

"Because I want to live with you, with Jiali and the others. I hope that after breaking free from this prison where virus threats are everywhere, we can still face each other in a healthy and happy way." I said slowly , with a slight but extremely serious tone, "If possible, I hope that I can always have you in my life that still seems so long in the future, until everything we have is completely over at the end of this long road."

His expression gradually returned to calm, his throat rolled, and he looked at me with complex emotions constantly shaking - but one thing I am very sure of is that his eyes surrounded me from the beginning to the end, from the time we exchanged It has stayed with me since I got acquainted with it and never left.

"This is the love you want to understand." I smiled again, and finally said, "Or, it's the love I've understood over the years."

He looked at me in a daze, and nodded slowly.

"But as I said before, everyone's understanding of love and emotion is different, so I hope you can think clearly about these yourself, and then use your own clear and independent way of thinking to do something for your relationship. It’s not something I can help you, it’s all up to your own understanding.” After I finished speaking, I pointed to the lunch box in front of him, and said jokingly, “But now, what you What needs to be understood immediately is that your breakfast is about to turn into ice cubes. If you don’t eat it, I have to drive to the dining room to get a new one for you. Get it over with, huh?"

Hearing what I said, Gerald lowered his head and finally noticed the rather hearty breakfast in front of him again.Probably because he had been hungry for too long, he didn't ask any more questions, and squeezed the fork tightly into his mouth.

I first propped my left elbow on the table and stared at him for a while, and only after more than [-] hours of almost non-stop exhaustion did I realize that I was also a normal person who could feel hunger.

After Gerald finished his meal, I didn't go to bed and rest immediately, but turned on the computer terminal on the table, first logged into the base's internal LAN, and checked the information report of this operation.This information is not a report that the leaders of each team will eventually hand over to Carrie Miville, it is just for other people in the base who have the right to know the situation, so only the casualties and equipment damage reports of each operation will be displayed.Equipment was just a trivial matter to Jiali Miweier, what really made him feel painful and irritated was the casualties of these team members.

As I expected when I saw those craft, the number of casualties this time was indeed quite incredible, so it is no wonder that the news spread so quickly.For the entire military, such an operational loss may be an extremely rare situation. It is estimated that before Jiali Miweier can handle the affairs of the base, he will be taken away by the government's summoning order, and he will first go to the superior We explain this incident.

After reading these reports, I don’t want to read another report on casualties. This kind of message is painful enough. Want to continue to face the news.

At this time, I also remembered what Xin Duoli told me about the anonymous letter, so I took out the terminal and took a look, and I saw that she had already transmitted the letter.

Although when Xin Duoli told me about it, I already guessed who sent me this e-letter, but after seeing Ai Weilang's usual steady tone and wording, I still couldn't help it. Live lightly laughed.Of course, I could feel the concern under his smooth surface from his words, and he even used the name Zeln to explain his own worries, and asked me to find a way to contact him as soon as possible.

After reading this letter carefully, I can't think of any way to contact him immediately, but since even Xin Duoli and the others know about our situation, he should be able to get news that I'm safe and well soon , So after thinking about it for a while, I handed a reply letter to ZZ and asked them to send the reply letter to Ai Weilang after a few hours.

After all these things were dealt with, sleepiness and fatigue struck again. I glanced at the bright sunlight outside the window, sighed and sat on the bed, and smiled at Gerald, who was watching my movements all the time. He said: "I don't have as much energy as you. I'm tired enough after this day. I have to rest for a while. If you are not sleepy, remember to listen to the movement outside the door for me. If someone comes to look for you, call wake me up."

After seeing him nodding, I finally couldn't restrain the drowsiness and impatience constantly sweeping through my mind, and fell asleep.

This sleep passed directly for a long time, and no one came to disturb me during the period.When I woke up naturally, I was still thinking in a blur that my current routine was not very healthy, but since I am in the army, this is inevitable.

After opening my eyes, I first saw Gerald sitting beside my bed. He was looking at me with his body half sideways, with a quiet and peaceful expression.After looking at him for a few seconds, I propped up my body and sat up, patted his head lightly twice, and was about to turn my head to talk to him, but all the words were blocked by a sudden kiss from him go back.

When I felt his arms wrap around my back, I hugged his waist and deepened the kiss again, until I felt my body warm up, I let him go and asked with a smile: "I Why didn't I find you so enthusiastic before?"

He didn't speak immediately, but put his hands on my shoulders, directly pressed me back on the bed, lowered his head and kissed me again.

My attitude towards him has always been conniving, and this time is certainly no exception. When he had vented his emotions and became a little at a loss, I put my hands on his waist and pushed him gently. Standing up, exchanging breaths with him, he asked, "What's wrong?"

"...I was chatting with Niyo just now."

Hearing his explanation, I felt dumbfounded at first, and at the same time sighed that Niyo still did not forget to give Gerald lessons at any time and the spirit of persuasion.But after I patted his back lightly a few times and found that he had no intention of getting up at all, I was a little reluctant to push him away again at this time.

Probably because I had thought about the matter thoroughly enough, in the end I didn’t let my mind struggle for a long time. I raised my hand and took a look at the terminal. After confirming that no one would come to me for help in a short time, I sighed Said: "I really can't put you in the same place as a normal boy--if you think you are really ready, just leave everything to me."

"What should I do?" Gerald asked me after a moment of silence.

"You don't have to do anything." I smiled and hugged his waist and back again, letting his chest be close to mine again, "Feeling me is enough."

When I kissed him again, the entanglement of lips and tongue gave me a very delicate feeling. His lips and the inner wall of his mouth were quite soft, and every inch of his breath that I could plunder was extremely familiar.Although the time I spend with him is not as good as any of my relatives or friends, we are closer than anyone else. It seems that since I met him, every day and night I have experienced has already had his presence up.

This kiss reminds me of when we were in that little garden that the government gave me.We didn't have to face so many unsolvable incidents and problems during that time, he just learned to say my name, and I sat cross-legged in the sun and taught him the skills of pronunciation────Every life of him The details of habits and movements are all over my shadow.

I hugged him tightly, and clearly felt his docile attitude of letting go of his teeth to accept my plunder and entanglement. This kind of trust made me reluctant and unwilling to let go of him so quickly, until our breathing became disordered and uncontrollable .

From the perspective of raising and teaching him, these behaviors I have been doing can probably be regarded as doting.But sometimes I can’t even remember exactly when I started, subconsciously leading him to get closer to me, until the relationship between us became such an out-of-control state, which made me feel deeply at the same time. Feel the invasion of guilt and satisfaction.

I sat up halfway, let him sit on my lap with his legs apart, turned my head slightly to kiss his Adam's apple and side neck, and then noticed his bewilderment and physical excitement as expected.I didn't think about researching whether there is any difference in lust between people infected with vicious viruses and normal humans. Now it seems that their feelings will only be more extreme and intense than ours.

After his panting gradually deepened, I untied the belt on his waist that I had tied for him before, reached in along the hem of his jacket, and stroked upwards along his healthy and powerful abdomen, from On the inside, he unbuttoned his jacket directly.This set of clothes is quite loose, and it is a kind of clothing that is not often seen in the army. I don’t know what purpose it was put in the closet. Now it is convenient for me.

After grunting a few times, Gerald twisted his upper body a little impatiently, propped his body up with his knees on the bed, lowered his head and kissed me.

I slightly raised my head to meet him, and at the same time, I didn't stop the movement of my hands, walking gently on his chest and back, trying not to make him feel any discomfort or unaccustomed feeling.

This is not too intense, but it is full of warmth and lust, which makes me quite enjoy and even addicted. It was not until I put my hand into his trouser waist and went down, that he suddenly ended this relationship with me. Kiss, took a few short breaths, and looked at me in a daze.

"Take it easy," I whispered to him. "See who I am. You know I'm worthy of your trust, right?"

After my comforting words came out, Gerald looked at me with a slightly shaken look, then he hugged me tightly again, and nodded against my shoulder.

When I put my finger in, a warm and soft feeling instantly wrapped around that part of my skin. This strange but soft enough to ignite us directly is like a warm current mixed with sharp stones, constantly Washing my heart and brain.I have never felt the boiling and joy of my blood so clearly like this moment, it almost made me unable to control the strength in my hand.

To my surprise, Gerald didn't make any sound, and when I looked sideways at him, he was panting with half-closed eyes, whether it was pain or excitement.I raised my other free hand to gently stroke the back of his head a few times, and asked, "Do you feel uncomfortable?"

"...not uncomfortable." He rubbed his forehead against my side face and neck, and replied in a low voice, "It's a bit strange."

I laughed twice, and pulled off all the obstructing clothes on his lower body. At the same time, I also felt his slightly cold hands, like before, gently stroking my front abdomen, touching the sensitive skin on my body. pinching.

It is actually quite convenient for him to take the initiative like this. Now that I know that he does not feel too uncomfortable because of my actions, I will not slow down the actions too much, but follow the more and more tacit understanding between us. With every tiny physical change, our emotions and thinking are all pushed to a more dangerous and tempting wave.

When I put my hands on his rear hips and pushed myself in, I unexpectedly found that although the muscles on his hips were strong, the touch was softer than I expected.However, since his body is much more sensitive than normal people, I no longer do any actions that may irritate his nerves. When I feel the wonderful sense of tolerance in his body, I try to make my movements more gentle .

I could hear his occasional moans intermittently, which combined with his low and slightly hoarse voice at this time, further affected my self-control.However, it sounds like he didn't feel much pain, but the hands that hugged him were getting tighter and tighter, until I completely buried myself deeply in his body, then I suddenly raised my head and let out a long snort.

I also had to close my eyes at this time, in order to restrain my desire as much as possible.The softness that surrounds me seems to be burning me, the hot flame spreads along my skin, and rushes into the depths of my soul, no longer fleeing.

After this state lasted for a while, I felt Gerald move his waist slightly, lift his body up, and slowly sit down again.

I took a light breath of cold air, clasped his side waist, and whispered: "Don't move around."

Gerald didn't answer me, he adjusted the angle of his eyes a little, and after meeting my eyes again, I trusted him with each other with all my heart and soul, and held him for a little movement, so that he could continue to adapt to the situation. This process, unsuspectingly intercourse with me.I can feel the emotions he is constantly pouring out at this time, and I know that he is also willing to give myself to the other party with me wholeheartedly.He lifted his waist in response to my movements, and his eyes never looked away from me, as if in his consciousness, no matter where we were or what our posture was, my figure would never be lost in his eyes.

I kissed him again as he wrapped me completely, conveying the love I've always had for him.

From a personal point of view, I know that I am actually the same as what Carrie Miville said, and I may not be able to restrain my emotions.And the only thing that has been suppressing myself for me during this time is Gerald's own thoughts and attitudes.That was the first time I realized that his ideas were far more important to me than mine.

When the wave reached its peak, I took a deep breath and pulled him quickly out of Gerald's body, so as not to put any burden on his body.He also panted and groaned at the same time, spraying his desire on my lower abdomen and chest, and he couldn't recover for a long time with his head raised.

I didn't move my body, let alone speak, so that he could still feel my presence and warmth after the peak of his emotions receded.It wasn't until he lowered his head in a daze, and when the focus of his eyes gathered on me again, he smiled and stroked the sweat-soaked hair on his forehead, adjusted his breathing, and gave him another kiss.