Rebirth and Redemption

After eating the fruit, Xiang Yan felt that he was mostly healed, but his head still hurt a little, so he lay lazily on the bed, didn't sleep or talk, and looked out the window in a daze.

Si Xian packed up the fruit bowl, took his laptop and went to bed, ready to read the news or something.The tea table provided in the room is relatively low, and it is not comfortable to surf the Internet there, so Si Xian simply used the bed.

Xiang Yan has been very quiet, and he doesn't know what he is thinking.If it wasn't for Si Xian who always felt that there was someone beside him, he might have thought that there was only him in the room.

This kind of quietness is actually very comfortable, but after a long time, it will inevitably feel a little inappropriate. After browsing the webpage, Si Xian asked him: "Would you like to play for a while? I have some small games on my computer."

"No." Xiang Yan didn't seem too interested, he seemed to want to lie down like this more than this.

Si Xian turned off the computer, put it aside, and stretched out his hand to test the temperature on Xiang Yan's head. Seeing that there was no repetition for the time being, he felt relieved to chat with him for a while.

"What did you dream about just now?" Si Xian was still thinking about the nightmare he had.

"It's nothing..." Xiang Yan didn't look at Si Xian, but said lightly.

"If you dream about something bad, it's better to say it." Si Xian said.He didn't mean to force Xiang Yan, but the old man in the family often said so, so he simply told Xiang Yan again.

Xiang Yan was silent, and he didn't know how long it took before he opened his mouth and said, "It's not a nightmare, it's just a dream about my father."

"Huh?" Si Xian didn't know much about the situation of Xiang Yan's family, so he could only listen to what he said.

"My father passed away due to illness when I was in junior high school. I used to dream about him often, but as I grew up, I dreamed less and less often. Sometimes I miss him very much. Every time I dreamed that he almost woke up crying." Although Xiang Yan's tone sounded flat, it gave off a feeling of unbearable sadness, "It's fortunate that I was woken up by you today, otherwise I would feel a little ashamed. "

"It's nothing to be ashamed of." Si Xian patted Xiang Yan's hand through the quilt.But in a normal family, children's dependence on their parents cannot be explained in one or two sentences. This kind of family affection and blood relationship cannot be separated. is for a lifetime.

Xiang Yan sighed slightly, but did not speak.

Si Xian hesitated for a moment, then asked tentatively: "You like boys, does this have anything to do with it?"

Si Xian can't remember where he saw it, saying that one of the reasons why men become gay is the lack of father's care since childhood, and the extreme desire for father's love.Although the probability is small, it does exist.

"Maybe..." Xiang Yan himself couldn't explain clearly, "I don't know, anyway, it's already like this when I find out. So it doesn't matter what the reason is."

"En." Si Xian nodded, it really doesn't matter, since Xiang Yan has confirmed his sexual orientation, this is not a disease, so there is no need for them to explore how it formed, and it is meaningless.

Xiang Yanping was a little tired after lying down for a long time, so he turned over and faced Si Xian - in fact, he wanted to turn his back on Si Xian at first, but that was really impolite, especially when the two of them were chatting , so he could only choose to face Si Xian.

Si Xian looked at Xiang Yan who was lying beside him, but didn't look at him, and asked, "Is the man who pestered you at the school gate that day your boyfriend? Of course, this is your privacy. If you don't want to say it, don't say it." " Si Xian is not gossip, but just wants to know about Xiang Yan.

Xiang Yan pulled the quilt up and said: "Actually, we haven't been dating for long, about a month. My friend took me to a party before, and I met him there. You may not understand, but gay There seems to be a kind of induction between them, that is, people in the crowd know that the other party is the same kind at a glance. Of course, I don’t know if everyone is like this. Anyway, he and I felt that the other party is the same type, so we talked a little more. He works in a foreign-funded company and has done a good job. When we first chatted, I felt that he had a good personality in all aspects, and he was also very gentlemanly and polite, so we started dating."

Xiang Yan's speech speed was not fast, as if he was talking while recalling, thinking of where to talk, "Actually, he was quite busy at that time, and we didn't meet many times. We usually just broke up after having a meal together. He also He has always been very personable. But not long after, I heard that he actually has a girlfriend, but the girlfriend is studying abroad and doesn’t come back much every year, so many people don’t know about it. And He is also going to marry this girl, and the two parties have already met the parents. I think that since he has a girlfriend, he shouldn't come to tease me, so he broke up with me. Who knew that he thought I had someone else, so he didn't agree Forgive me."

Si Xian nodded after hearing this, "In today's society, the number of people who can truly admit that they are gay is limited after all. Many gays will choose to get married in the end, let others see him with normal eyes, and never consider how much trouble they have brought to the woman. Hurt. You were right to leave that person."

"I think so too." Xiang Yan sighed slightly, "It's also because I met people that I didn't like them. I didn't expect him to be difficult."

"It's okay, he's coming to you again, you can call me. I'll help you out." Si Xian said.Now that Xiang Yan has told him, he has some trust in him, and it is not a troublesome thing for Si Xian to settle a man who is entangled, so he will help whenever he can.

"Well...thank you." Xiang Yan replied.Maybe he won't look for Si Xian at all, but he still understands Si Xian's wishes.

After that, the two of them fell silent again. After a while, Xiang Yan felt sleepy again, so he continued to sleep.While surfing online forums, Si Xian noticed whether Xiang Yan had a fever again, and the time passed quickly.

Xiang Yan didn't have a fever anymore, and Si Xian felt relieved. He allowed Xiang Yan to take a bath early the next morning, but he didn't let him go out for a stroll. It was a bit windy today, and he was worried that Xiang Yan would get sick again.So this holiday, Xiang Yan just changed to another place and continued to stay in the house.But he was fine, and the students who came to play with him were also relieved.

The two-day rest day passed quickly. On Sunday night, a group of people returned to school together, and then dispersed at the door of the dormitory. Each took their own luggage and went back to the dormitory. Send it downstairs to the dormitory, and then go back to your own dormitory.

Since then, Si Xian had no contact with Xiang Yan for a long time. He vaguely remembered that the last time he saw Xiang Yan was in the corridor. It was almost class time and it was not convenient to say anything, so they clicked on each other. Just nod.As for the cooperation between the Literature Club and the Propaganda Department, all the deputy directors came. Although Xiang Yan didn't seem to be avoiding him on purpose, this feeling still made Si Xian very upset.

This day, Si Xian and Ji Rufei went to self-study together, and accidentally saw the fanfare between himself and Xiang Yan...

To be honest, at that moment he was a little surprised, a little dazed, and a little bit displeased.He didn't expect Ji Rufei to write such a thing, but as Ji Rufei's boyfriend, rationally speaking, he has no right to interfere with Ji Rufei's hobbies, so he can only try his best to understand.

When Guiheng asked him, "Even if you read this article, what's the matter? Do you have feelings for that Xiang Yan?", he really didn't know how to answer for a while.He suddenly thought of Xiang Yan who opened his eyes that day with an aggrieved face, and his heart felt as if he had been hit hard.He didn't bother to pay attention to Gui Heng's surprise anymore, but his mind was full of Xiang Yan.But the last point of rationality still reminded him - he has a girlfriend now, he can't cheat Ji Rufei, let alone cheat Xiangyan.

So this matter was buried in Si Xian's heart, and he didn't think about it, let alone mention it.

Ji Rufei is not the most suitable wife for Si Xian, because Ji Rufei has her own way of life and is unwilling to make painful changes for her.Si Xian can understand all these things, but if she marries Ji Rufei, there will be no pressure on Si Xian.After all, Ji Rufei is a good girl, at least she is not the kind of person who has one thing on the surface and one thing on the inside.

What he didn't expect was that Ji Rufei took the initiative to break up with him.Si Xian understood the reason for the breakup and gave him blessings, but after all, after so many contacts, the mood still needs to be eased.In a small group, it can be said that news of a breakup will spread quickly.Although he and Ji Rufei separated peacefully, the "breakup" is often the key point, and the reasons are secondary.

Si Xian received a lot of consolation, but in fact these consolations were unnecessary for him, but for other people's kindness, he always had to promise a few words, and it was a bit annoying to repeat it several times.

However, Xiang Yan did not appear in the ranks to comfort him. Xiang Yan, who had to concentrate on writing his thesis, was actually very busy, and sometimes even went to the city library to find no one.So Si Xian is not sure if he knows about Si Xian breaking up with Ji Rufei.

By the time Si Xian's mood had fully adjusted, it had been a while since this incident.

At noon that day, Si Xian was about to go to the cafeteria after class, when he ran into Xiang Yan head-on.

Xiang Yan seemed to be looking for him specially, instead of nodding politely to him and leaving, he stood in front of him and asked, "Is there any class in the afternoon?"

"No, why?" Si Xian asked with a smile.He was very happy to see Xiang Yan.

"Let me treat you to dinner." Xiang Yan said.

Si Xian looked at him and asked, "What's the matter?"

"No, it just happens that there is a discount card, how about a face?" Xiang Yan smiled.

Si Xian nodded and said, "Okay." Just a few short words still made Si Xian feel comfortable getting along with Xiang Yan. Since Xiang Yan invited him, he naturally had no reason to refuse, and he didn't want to refuse at all.