The strongest agent [entertainment]

Yuan Jie put the things back where they were, and said in a low voice, "It's okay, Mom, I'm fine, so don't worry about me too much."

"You're fine... you're fine, why did your disease relapse? Hasn't it been over ten years since you had a relapse? Hey, tell mom honestly, have you been stimulated recently?" Yuan said. Mother didn't think Yuan Jie's relapse of old illness would be accidental.

Yuan Jiejie suppressed the irritability in his heart, forced himself to speak slowly, and said: "No, all my life is quite regular, and nothing unpleasant happened to me. Whenever there is a sign of recurrence of the disease, I will find it by myself. Dr. Liang...Mom, don't worry, what happened back then will never happen again to make you and your parents worry."

"Hey Hong, this is not a question whether your dad or I worry about it. I think you should move back to live. Your dad and I are really worried about you living outside alone in your current state. You Go home, Hong Hong." Yuan's mother's guilty voice came from the other end of the communication, she was indeed a noble lady who only had love and her husband in her eyes, and even her children were in the way at home.

But since Yuan Jie's accident that year, the lady's attitude and thoughts have completely changed.

From wishing for her children to grow up and start a family early, to being far away from herself, to wishing to put her children under her nose every day to watch...

After decades, she finally realized that she was not a qualified mother.

But it was too late.

"Mom, I'm used to living alone. If I can take good care of myself, you don't have to worry about it." She wanted to make up for it, but Yuan Jie, her son, was unwilling to give him this opportunity.

In the past, this was what Yuan's mother would most like to hear from Brother Yuan Jie.But now she said: "You are used to living alone and can take good care of yourself, but..."

However, she was really afraid that Yuan Jie's illness had occurred... He lived alone, and no one collected his body when he died at home.

"Don't worry, I have already set up emergency rescue measures on my personal terminal. Once I have a problem with my body, or I have the idea of ​​self-harm and take action, the personal terminal will directly dial your communication and hospital emergency On the phone... I don't want to die, I will live a good life, Mom. I will never do suicide again..." Yuan Jie said word by word almost as if guaranteeing: "And, my own Sickness, I know it well, although my illness has relapsed this time, I can feel it myself, and I can tell you with certainty, this time I never had the idea of ​​giving up on myself and not wanting to live anymore."

Yuan Jie suffers from severe bipolar disorder.

It was obtained after Chu Xu broke with his family, and Yuan Jie went to find him, but Chu Xu rejected him.

During the first period of time, he lost weight at a speed visible to the naked eye, was depressed, couldn't sleep all night, his mind was full of Chu Xu, and his whole body seemed to be shrouded in haze. Everyone around could see that changed him.But unfortunately, his family didn't take it seriously, they always felt that he had a smooth journey and had no experience of excitement. Chu Xu regretted his marriage and left home, which hit him a bit hard. After a while, he would be fine, without Chu Xu. However, he can still continue to change his marriage partner and continue to be his perfect family son.

Even in order to let Chu Songbai calm down as soon as possible and let this incident pass as soon as possible, they even started to prepare a blind date for Yuan Jie on their own initiative and introduce a new suitable marriage partner.

Completely disregarding Yuan Jie's own wishes, as if he was convinced that Yuan Jie, a son of a perfect family, would never refuse them.

It wasn't until Yuan Jie, who had been depressed for a long time, attempted suicide several times at home that Yuan's father and Yuan mother realized the seriousness of the problem.

At that time, Yuan Jie had just been rescued and was still in a trance. He opened his mouth and asked his mother: "Why? Why? What is it about me that I am not good enough, Xiao Xu, why do you have to break off the engagement with me? "

Just scared the fuck out of me.

It was also at that time that everyone realized that in the eyes of everyone, Chu Xu, who was just a good match for Yuan Jie and a dispensable marriage partner, was of such great significance to him .

Without Chu Xu, Yuan Jie almost couldn't live.

Since then, in order to avoid irritating Yuan Jie, no one in the whole circle mentioned the name Chu Xu, nor anything related to him.

Chu Xu seemed to evaporate in Yuan Jie's life just like that.

But Yuan Jie himself knew it was not like this...

Chu Xu is to him like water is like fish, and air is to people. Since he was very young, he has placed all the paranoia, stubbornness and all the feelings in his indifferent temperament on Chu Xu. Watching Chu Xu grow up day by day, rebellious, lively and full of stubborn temper and temperament, he became what he yearned for, doing everything that he, a perfect family member, could not do... He always felt that he and Chu Xu It should be one. Looking at Chu Xu is like looking at another self, which is completely different from the self confined in the frame of the perfect family. He regards Chu Xu as his spiritual sustenance and his own salvation. , put all the rich and strong feelings under the strict appearance on Chu Xu...

But he never expected that Chu Xu would actually leave him, leaving at all costs in order to break off his engagement with him.

Chu Xu resolutely left, taking away most of Yuan Jie's soul and all of his feelings... Therefore, under such circumstances, Yuan Jie's whole body completely collapsed.

He knew it wasn't Chu Xu's fault, and he also knew that he shouldn't be overwhelmed by such a small matter, but at that time, Yuan Jie couldn't restrain the boundless loneliness, loneliness and the illusion of being abandoned by his own world. Unable to control his body and mind, he committed suicide...

Yuan Jie knew in his heart that he was never a son of a perfect family, not only not perfect, but also a timid, weak and flawed product.

Because of this, Yuan Jie has always been full of guilt towards Chu Xu, Chu Songbai and the Chu family. In his subconscious mind, he always felt that if he hadn’t made too much trouble with his manic depression and failed suicide attempt, Chu Songbai should have let Chu Xu go back. It's time to go home...and Chu Xu doesn't have to wander alone for more than ten years.

"Is the imperial capital not good? Why do you move to Xidian when you are so good? If you are in the imperial capital, it will be much more convenient for me to visit you if I have nothing to do..." Mother Yuan's worried voice came from the other end of the communication.

Yuan Jie, who has always been filial and obedient, suddenly fell silent.

He didn't dare to mention to his mother that he was in contact with Chu Xu... or when his old illness relapsed.

Back then, he attempted suicide several times, and after being diagnosed as manic-depressive, it took him several years to receive treatment before he gradually came out of his mental disorder and accepted the reality that Chu Xu would not be with him.No one mentioned Chu Xu anymore, Yuan Jie almost thought that gloomy and desperate past was just a dream of his own, and returned to a normal life without Chu Xu, except that sometimes he still couldn't control himself Go to find out where Chu Xu is, send him things, send text messages... Yuan Jie almost thought that he was completely normal, even if Chu Xu stood in front of him, his illness would not relapse.

I really... completely let go.

It was as if Chu Xu didn't exist in this world anymore, and he never replied to him, and the things he sent would be sent back soon.

Until one day, Chu Xu suddenly called him in the middle of the night and said that he missed him... Yuan Jie suddenly realized that his illness was not cured.

Never got better.

He has always lived a rigid life like a robot, as long as he is infected with Chu Xu, he will go crazy.

After contacting Chu Xu, Yuan Jie's spirit has been in a state of high tension. He can think a lot of Chu Xu's casual words. I couldn't help thinking, what is Chu Xu doing at this time, is he with someone else?Why didn't you reply to him? He didn't reply for so long, did he want to disappear from his life again and refuse to communicate with him?

Although it only took a few minutes, Yuan Jie was able to make up a lot of things.

He knew that this was not good, no, normal people wouldn't do this, it was his illness that had relapsed, but he couldn't help himself to think like this...

He also knew that maybe in order to prevent his illness from recurring, he should stay away from Chu Xu...but he just couldn't do it.

That's Chu Xu...

Chu Xu.

Yuan Jie couldn't refuse the opportunity to contact Chu Xu at all, let alone cut off contact with Chu Xu on his own initiative.Therefore, he can only force himself to show Chu Xu his best side, and he dare not leak any clues to Chu Xu.

He didn't know why Chu Xu contacted him...

But as long as Chu Xu is still willing to appear in his life, he is willing to be an amiable brother and an elder in front of Chu Xu.

"Xidian has the advantages of Xidian. I have stayed in the imperial capital for too long and I want to change my environment... Just rest assured that I can take care of myself. You and Dad should also take care of your health. I will often Go back and see yours." Yuan Jie's tone was gentle, which made people feel a sense of trust in him inexplicably and unconsciously.

Mother Yuan saw that she couldn't persuade him, so she had to say: "Then you have to pay more attention to your body, and go to Dr. Liang's place if you feel something is wrong."

"Okay, I know, Mom." Yuan Jie's tone was steady from beginning to end, and it was still hard for anyone to imagine that he had suffered from severe bipolar disorder, and even had suicidal tendencies.