Bit by bit

There are a few years in my memory that are blank, I tried to remember, but I can't remember, that is 2010 to 2014.In fact, no one knows what I have been doing these past few years. In fact, I don’t even know what I have been doing these few years.Maybe the memory is too painful, I chose to forget, but now I have to open the window of my soul if I want to start again, so I still have to face all this, I don’t have anyone to tell, and finally decided to write.

This memory is a joke to many people, and they will feel that the person who did this must be abnormal.As absurd as it was, tortured and lonely, and failed at the same time, this period of agony to death was, for me, more beautiful than the stars in my life.Their existence at least tells me that I am not a follower.

When I close my eyes, I can still smell the gardenia flowers during the college entrance examination, but I really hate the gardenia flowers blooming!The season when gardenia blooms is the season of the college entrance examination. It has accompanied me through the past few years, but I don't want to see it or smell it in my life. In 2010, I really wanted to go to college. That kind of desire surpassed everything, but my math was so bad, so bad, it was hard to say, and my grades in other subjects were not good enough for me to ignore my math grades. , At that time, I was really hardworking and serious. Looking back, I can still see me sitting by the window doing "Five-Year College Entrance Examination and Three-Year Simulation". In fact, what I really wanted to do at that time was to wait When I am admitted to university, I want to confess my love to Yu Jing.He is the person I have been looking up to silently since I transferred from Hubei in the second year of junior high school, but I am too stupid to keep up with him. There are many times when I think about the same question. Will the same high school or the same university end differently, but there is no if in life...

In 2011, I went to a college entrance examination cram school, and there were 20 students in our class.At that time, I really thought that I would stand up again because I was partial to science. I had a lot of dreams that year, and these were all beautiful dreams.I dreamed that I was sitting in my favorite university, studying my favorite journalism major, and dreamed of the smiles on the faces of my parents.Such hard-working classmates also made me feel warm. This year, I met the first teacher who taught me to calm down and learn to lay a good foundation. I still remember that when I first came here, I was even afraid of doing Chinese test papers, so I had to write first. Composition and test papers have to be written backwards, first and then later.After he saw it, he asked me to write in order, regardless of whether I could finish the writing or not, and resolutely refused to let me start writing from the back. Since then, my Chinese fear has disappeared, and my Chinese performance has been rising all the way.I still remember that there were five people in our dormitory, Liu Yang, Qi Dan, Liu Dan, Sister Zhu, and me, and Aqiao lived in the next dormitory. At that time, Qi Dan, Aqiao and I were the best friends.Looking back now, it was like a dream at that time. Looking at it now, the 20 people in our class have no contact with each other.A stranger's greeting is stranger than a stranger.

When I close my eyes, I still clearly remember that fat boy named Sun Zhonglin, nicknamed King Kong, who always loves to run behind Huang Huaming, and loves to be angry and study.Xiaojian snatched the bag back from the bag snatcher for Lili.And Afan, Afan ate bowl after bowl in the cafeteria. Once he bought food from outside the school and ate it in the cafeteria. Those unnecessary lunch boxes were still there. Classmates who eat, we are not serving you" words.Huang Huaming bought the Sugar King and Sugar Queen for Aqiao and me, and the scene where the whole class ate them is still vivid.And the whole class that I met in the Internet cafe late at night, why did they all appear so familiarly in my mind?I thought that the reality had made me forget these things, but it turned out that these things had already been engraved on my heart deeply and shallowly.Although for them, these things are slowly being forgotten, but I know that these are not dreams, they are memories more beautiful than stars.

There are many times I want to forget these, besides the beauty, they also carry the tears I shed for my dreams.This is just a small part of my tears and heartbreak in 2011, and there are many, many more...