Gu Qingci

(One)

My father gave me everything, but also ruined everything for me.

He gave me the supreme right to learn all the emperor's arts.However, when the water is full, it will overflow, and when the moon is full, it will lose money.The only thing I haven't learned is how to use affection and how to love others.

Perhaps in his view, this is unnecessary.

Emperor Father hates that great eunuch surnamed Hu very much. We were in the meeting hall with him, and I heard countless curse words.However, when eunuch Hu entered the court, he always greeted him with a smile, acting like a gentleman, and even poured tea for the eunuch.

He said to me more than once with a sullen face: "One day, you will make these people disappear. All people must bow their heads to you and worship you devoutly."

When eunuch Hu left, the emperor took a whip and whipped the leader of the guards, angrily angrily said: "Trash, trash!"

I was six years old at the time, and seeing the forbearance and pain of the leader, I couldn't help but say to my father, "Let him go, he knows he was wrong."

Father Huang turned his head to look at me sullenly, and suddenly smiled softly, making the leader retreat.He gently touched my face and asked, "Yueying, do you know how to make others afraid of you?"

I shook my head, and the next moment his whip hit my left cheek hard. The huge force made me unable to stand still and fell to the ground.

His face was scorching hot, and he wanted to cry out in pain, but even greater fear shrouded his head. Looking at the man's face, he dared not make a sound.

"Are you afraid of me now?" He looked at me with a smile, his tone as gentle as a spring breeze.

"Don't be afraid, I hate you."

He showed a look of astonishment, he was speechless for a moment, and then said, "You are so stubborn, why don't you cry if you are not afraid? But, I didn't expect you to be so promising."

He pinched my ears, picked me up from the ground, and said in a low voice: "Except for the emperor, never let anyone see through your thoughts, not even your mother and sister. Otherwise, I will kill you right now." They, huh?"

"Evil ghost!"

"That's right, you're right! How can you be a good emperor if you don't become a ghost? This palace is purgatory!"

I was later sent back to the Prince’s Hall, where the imperial hospital used various precious medicinal materials to treat me. These medicinal materials, which ordinary people would never see in their lifetime, were wiped on my face like water, and no trace was left in the end.

When my mother came to see me later, she wiped away her tears and asked me what was going on.

Avoiding her warm and fragrant embrace, she retreated into the innermost part of the bed, shook her head expressionlessly, and said nothing.I don't want her and my sister to die.

(two)

But my mother still left, when I was 13 years old.

They all said that the queen mother died of illness, but I don't believe it.It must be that man who threatened her and forced the gentle and virtuous queen mother to death.

Therefore, I cannot be a person like my mother.To put it nicely, it is virtuous and virtuous, but to put it badly, it is cowardly and incompetent.

The queen mother treated me so well, it was the only step from purgatory to the world, but I didn't even see her last side.

Hearing the sad news of her death, he wrote a letter to his father overnight in Jincheng, wanting to go back early to attend the funeral. This is the duty of a child.

I was scolded by him.

He actually sent the imperial censor to Jincheng with great fanfare to spread the word of mouth, which made it known to everyone in the court.

"Is the crisis of Jincheng solved, and whether the reform of the government order is appropriate? There is no news, and they want to return to Beijing. How can the people be blamed?"

"As a prince, virtue is not worthy of his position, and he only cares about his personal feelings. How can he belong to the common people?"

"If the people are restless, the foundation of the country will be unstable, and Ermu Jiuquan will not be able to rest in peace. I ordered you to stay in Jin for investigation and not return to Beijing."

These words are more powerful than the sharpest sword in the world, and the bleeding scars on the heart will not heal for a long time-maybe not in this life.

On the day of the mother's burial, there was a strong wind in Jincheng.I looked at the capital from the highest hill in Jincheng, and I could not afford to kneel.

This was the last thing she could do for her as her daughter in this life.

My knees hurt, and the trees on the mountain were rustling by the wind. The leaves resisted on the branches for a while, and soon they flew with the wind.

My eyes must have been blinded by the wind and sand before they shed tears.

Not long after, people all over the world knew how he taught the prince a lesson when the queen passed away.

As soon as this move came out, the people immediately shouted that the emperor understands righteousness and loves the people like a son.

Heh, stepping on the bloody bodies of the two women, using the pain and regret of my mother and my mother's life, is just a despicable way to gain fame for myself.

From then on, I didn't even care much about my reputation in history books.

(three)

Since my mother left, my resentment towards my father has grown day by day, and I no longer talk to him much.But he was actually very satisfied with this, and it was shameful and hateful to say something like "Yueying has my cold face" to the prime minister.

I hated him so much, but when Yuehua spoke ill of Emperor Father to me later, I still severely reprimanded her.

Not to defend the man, but to maintain the hierarchy.Monarchs, ministers, fathers, sons, and sons have long been integrated into the blood and bone marrow, integrated with the breath, and coexist with the heaven and the earth.So he hated him in his heart, but on the surface, even his own sister scolded him like this, which can be said to be sanctimonious.

There is no way, after all, I can't live freely like Yuehua, and speak out what I think frankly.

Sometimes I can't help being jealous of Liu Yuehua.She is the jewel in the palm of her father, queen and queen, and she had a happy and smooth childhood.Therefore, if you have nothing to do, you have to find something for her to do, and you can't tolerate her always doing nothing and being a willful and idle princess all her life.

Later, the matter of exercising her became even more important.

Because, it is impossible for me to have a child, she will inherit the throne.

I've met a person who... can't judge because she asks for nothing.

How could there be such a person?At first I couldn't believe it, I always felt that she was faking it.But seeing people wearing masks is also a simple matter, but I watched her for a long time, and I couldn't see the cracks.

This man must have nailed the mask to his face!

Because of that man's vicious teachings, I knew the meaning of "kill life and seize" at a very young age, and it was not easy to play with those ministers.

Those who want fame, let him be famous in history; those who are greedy for money, let him make a lot of money; for those who are ideals, let him realize their ambitions.It's not about doing what they ask for, it's just about grabbing them and using them for all their worth, leaving nothing behind.

Of course, there are conditions for being worthy of being used by me.No matter how high the reputation is, one cannot make great achievements, and no matter how rich one is, one cannot be as rich as an enemy. As for ideals, first of all, his ideals must be done according to his duties.

I have always thought that being under the imperial court is a very simple matter, but it is just trying to figure out people's hearts and playing games with strength - no one has ever played me, because no one is more ruthless than me.

However, such a person appeared out of nowhere, and all previous experience and methods failed in front of her.

Unruly everywhere, constantly testing my bottom line, and smiling like a normal person.

(four)

I once secretly read some playbooks behind my father's back.

There is a saying that goes like this: "Love doesn't know where it starts, but it goes deeper and deeper", that's it.

I never thought that I would be emotional, and my father certainly didn't think of it either.

Standing on the edge of the cliff in a daze, for fear that if one wanders off, one will be doomed.So, I tested that woman many times.Bowl throwing, assassination, coma, imperial husband...

And the answer I got didn't satisfy me.She is so pure and clean that it scares me—but she is fatally attractive.As long as you see her, you will not be able to restrain your joy. You will feel your blood rolling and your soul recovering. This is what a person who is falling into the abyss most desires.

Desire and fear.

If she betrays me, if this happens...

I'm bound to fall apart.

I know I'm sorry for her, but I have never done less of what should be done.There is no way, just like I am destined not to be a person like Liu Yuehua, I am also destined to be unable to stop my endless suspicion.

I need Yang Hui, she is mine, at least it can only be mine in this life.

I don't know how to accept a harem, and I can't accept anyone other than her, let alone carry on the family line. Just thinking about a man's body is disgusting.

To me, the sun ray is the only light in this gloom.

But I will not allow the light beam to move too freely, she must be in my hand, so that I can see it when I raise my eyes or turn my head.

How could Yang Li escape?

Although there are deficiencies, patience has its limits.

(Fives)

Enough concessions have been made for Yang Ling.She and I won't have children, so I raised Liu Yuehua as an heir; I even thought about it, if she has any troubles, or if she falls in love with a woman like me, I will pick a close-eyed person from the side of the clan to claim her return.

I also forced those ministers not to dare to mention the matter of marrying wives and taking concubines on the stage, and tore up their self-esteem and face in front of Yang Ling, what else?

Why is she still pushing me away?

I really do not understand.None of the things I know, such as rites, music, shooting, and imperial calligraphy, can give me the answer.

Yuehua asked me, since I cared about her, why didn’t I say my heart out—I’ve never done such a thing before, my father’s words lingered in my ears like a curse, it was a nightmare dreamed back at midnight, Would wake me up, sweating profusely.

Even so, I did it.

I faced Yang Hui cautiously and nervously, and said to her, "I love you."

Such a direct, non-twisting word makes one blush just thinking about it.The heart could almost jump out of the throat, and the head was a little dizzy from the excitement.

But, Yang Li, oh Yang Li, you actually used the fairy crossing the catastrophe as an excuse.

Is the dignified Empress Daxing so easy to fool? !He also told me that the gods and ghosts are in charge of their own affairs, but I never believed it.If there are really gods in the world, why didn't they come to save me when I was suffering when I was young?If there are ghosts and ghosts in the world, why am I still alive and well with blood on my hands?

According to my 26 years of life experience, I don't want to believe it at all.However, she grabbed my hand and held the two jade pendants tightly, with such strength that her palms ached.

Stare into her eyes for a long time.There are many things, the language is pale and unspeakable, only the eyes can't lie.

Oh, I actually believed her words just like that.

Believe it inexplicably but logically.Maybe, she is really the person sent by God to save me?

Yang Li, I trust you once, and you must never disappoint my weak and cold heart.

Also, you said five years, what a long time.Don't make me wait that long... the next thing I lack in my life is patience.

What is lacking the most is you.

[Liu Yueying's trust this time is worth countless suspicions.It's really not easy to make her believe it. 】