Your Mightiness

There is nothing in this world that can compare to the love secretly cherished by children. - Zweig.

"Don't—" 16-year-old Raphael suddenly woke up from his dream, sitting on the big white bed in a daze, panting heavily, letting his long black hair fall from his shoulders and wet with sweat.He looked around, and in the darkness, he could barely make out that he was still in his bedroom in Reisingburg, familiar velvet, familiar gold tassels, familiar French style.

The room is so empty, just like Raphael can only let the cold wind pass through his lonely heart in the wilderness.

From a young age, Raphael felt lonely and insecure for no reason, and as he got older, he insisted that he was not afraid of such loneliness, he wanted to be alone.Because it's his personal choice not to hang out with fools.

However, there is still a small voice in his heart asking him, if you enjoy the current state, why do you have such a dream?

He dreamed that he was with someone, and he thought they would never be separated for a moment.

But in the end he woke up with fright, because the person who could only see the back left him without hesitation, no matter how hard he chased, he couldn't catch up.The words he hadn't finished yelling in the dream were on his lips, he seemed to be suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder, and in a tone that didn't contain any hope, he softly completed his words: "—leave me."

The word "I" was almost swallowed by Raphael into his mouth, as if he hadn't uttered it, but his heart knew that he had said it, and his very urgent desire could be realized.

Rafael's throat was very dry, like someone who had been walking in the desert for several days but could not find a source of water and was about to die of thirst.

He needed water, but he didn't.

Because what's the point?Drinking can't change the status quo.

Raphael began to stare blankly at his curtains, which were blue, without ribbons, patterns or complicated decorations, just simple blue floor-to-ceiling windows.

That's the only thing in the room that exists because of his insistence. He doesn't like blue, but the people he likes do.

Today's Raphael is no longer the poor little guy that no one paid attention to in the past. He gradually began to give people a very reliable and powerful feeling.At least no one would believe that for most of Raphael's past life, he actually liked this kind of daze, taking off his disguise, forgetting the whole world, just looking for a place, looking at a certain place, and looking at it for a whole day.

Do people think when they are in a daze?

Raphael doesn't know about others, he would anyway.He would recall over and over again the owner of the voice that would appear in his mind from time to time since he was a child. First, he would recall their previous conversations, and describe the other person's expression when they spoke; then recall their previous conversations, and try to imagine each other. The appearance; Finally, recall what you have said to the other party.

Even Raphael himself thought he was crazy.

If he wasn't crazy, how could he fall in love with a voice that only existed in his head?He couldn't even be sure whether the other party was a real person in the future, or just his own imagination.

Either way, it should be pretty sad.

Because he fell in love with someone who couldn't be with him.

This kind of liking originated from a very young age, when the voice of the other party would always sound in his mind as expected.Children are always full of innocence and stubbornness, and are unwavering.Raphael once thought that it was his own guardian angel, who was a bit poisonous and difficult to get along with, but he only belonged to him, only he could hear his voice, and maybe even he existed only for him.

For a guy who is a control freak + possessive, this is like an exclusive lover specially ordered by God, so how can he teach him not to like him?

【Are you in love?Congratulations. 】

"!!!" The voice suddenly appeared again.Raphael wasn't sure how much the other party knew about what he was thinking. He rationally analyzed that there shouldn't be much, otherwise the other party couldn't be so calm.

Raphael decided to try it out: 【How do you know who I like? 】

[I don't know, it was you who sent a text message to tell me that you fell in love with someone who couldn't be with you, remember? 】The other party seemed to be full of desire to talk this time, and his words were much longer than usual,【I can only tell you, don't care about worldly views.Love is very simple, you love each other, and the other loves you, as long as your love doesn't hinder anyone, you can be together.This is the instinct of being born as a human being.Absolutely natural.Of course, if it's a love that is too different and temporarily unacceptable to others, you can do so in a low-key manner.I don't want you to care about other people's pointers, but I hope you won't be hurt because of it. ] Raphael has long discovered that his guardian angel is a very capricious angel. In addition to encouraging him with ridicule and beating around the bush, he will only talk to him in lengthy paragraphs when encountering very rare things.

Like affection, like love.

Raphael had boldly guessed that the other party might feel the same way, but he didn't ask, and chose to respect.He knows that the other party may disappear at any time, and the next time he reappears will be more than ten days later, he must hurry up instead: [If I told you that I fell in love with someone who is no longer in the same time and space as me, would you how to think? 】【Two-dimensional? 】

Raphael didn't understand what Two-dimensional is, so he could only say vaguely: [I think I like the person in my imagination. 】【Oh, narcissism. 】The other party really spoke concisely again, and there was a faint feeling that the other party was thinking that the serious consolation he had just done was a foolish behavior, 【Wilde said that loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.If you want me to say, wash up and sleep. 】Then, Raphael really lay down. He didn’t know why he was so obedient. It was probably a habit he had developed since he was a child. The deep meaning behind such reliable words, and... I am used to doing it after I have made up the comparison in my brain.

It was the same this time, after just chatting with the other party for a while, Raphael was no longer thirsty, his heart was no longer empty, and he stopped thinking about things that he couldn't figure out.

Regardless of whether the other party is imaginary, or a person who belongs to the future who really cannot be contacted, he can only belong to him, doesn't he?

In fact, it's good to live like this for a lifetime, at least he doesn't have to worry about the other party being spied on by others, or being abducted by someone, the other party will maintain a stable and regular time, always, always appearing in his mind, only belongs to him .

It's just that when he closed his eyes, Raphael's aroused thoughts were difficult to completely suppress after all.

Why must he enjoy solitude?

When she woke up the next morning, at the breakfast table, Queen Isabella saw Raphael's dark circles, and asked with concern: "Did you sleep well, my dear?"

"Sorry for worrying you." Raphael was polite and polite as if facing a guest.

The Queen Mother lowered her eyelids: "I should apologize, your mother's matter..."

"She's not my mother!" Raphael couldn't control his temper and put down the silver knife and fork in his hand with a "snap", and the shaking porcelain tableware made a crisp sound.Everyone was taken aback, but Raphael quickly restrained his temper and hid the brewing storm in his eyes. He said, "I'm sorry, I was rude, didn't I scare you? You are My mother, whether that woman is dead or alive has nothing to do with me, even if she has been dead for several years, her last wish has nothing to do with me!"

At that time, Raphael didn't know what happened to his biological mother before he was alive. He only thought that she sold her son for glory. He deluded himself into thinking that he didn't hate her, and that her abandonment in the past couldn't hurt him at all. hear her name.

The queen mother shut her mouth wisely, she has become increasingly ignorant of this adopted son, obviously he looks so much better than when he was a child, but it made the queen mother even more jealous.

In the evening, the king sent a letter, hoping that Raphael would not go back to London, but instead go to Bristol.

Although the queen mother did not speak, she secretly hoped that Raphael could visit her grandson August in Bristol, because even if the little fool Duke Ao couldn't understand, the people around him actually began to I'm sympathizing with him.The queen gave birth to the crown prince, and the whole world will be different in the future.

Raphael was very impatient with the king's thoughts, but he kept smiling, endured the muddy road, and knocked on the gate of Bristol Castle in the heavy rain. The famous "nephew".

To be honest, Raphael was a little jealous when he saw each other.

Jealousy that the other person can always be so heartless and carefree, as if his world has no worries at all.Obviously he is in the same situation as him, a childhood without a partner, empty to a scary old castle, a life that can only be described as being alone once.But the other party looked very happy.

Even if he deliberately frightened him, his reaction was just to hug him foolishly.

Surrounding him with the aroma of milk that bored Raphael, he forced him a handful of ridiculous candies, and clumsily said incoherent words, "sweet", "be happy", "don't Discomfort" and ... "Mom said there would be a miracle."

"Do you know what a miracle is?" Raphael asked his silly nephew.

The silly nephew shook his golden head like his stupid father, he is a fool, how could he know what a miracle is.

"Then you still tell me?"

"Mom said it." August looked at Raphael very, very seriously, as if his deceased mother's words carried some truth that others didn't know. As long as what his mother said, it must be right. will come true.

Rafael's evil factor ran out again, and he said, "Well, I believe you for now, but if there is no miracle in the future, I will eat you."

The little fool understood this sentence, and really believed it, tears began to roll in his blue eyes, and he was so wronged: "I don't eat well."

Every time he thinks about it, Raphael can't help but laugh out loud. It was a rare moment of real happiness in his past memories other than talking to the voice in his head.

How can there be such a stupid person in this world?he thinks.

Many years later, when Raphael really got what he wanted and knew that his biological mother did not abandon him, and he had someone he loved since he was a child, he recalled this passage again.

Only then did he realize that the real fool was him.

Because there will be miracles, and miracles have beautiful blond hair, blue eyes, and dangling hair.

His miracle told him:

Even if you think your feelings are too dry to give, there will always be a moment when something plucks the strings deep in your heart; after all, we are not born to enjoy loneliness. - García Márquez, "One Hundred Years of Solitude"