eyes outside the box

On March 21, the light rain turned cloudy.

Standing by a cypress tree, Duan Jiuze looked at the cold cemetery after the villagers had dispersed, looked at the newly dug yellow soil, and looked at the newly engraved inscription on the tombstone. He felt that his heart was filled with an empty emotion.

——In the end, Grandma Duan didn't wait for the spring day when the flowers were in full bloom, so she lay down on the cold and damp ground.

Yang Bowen sent off the neighbors who were helping, and turned back to the cemetery.Across the brand-new graveyard, Yang Bowen looked at Duan Jiuze opposite, with a look of struggle in his eyes.

Duan Jiuze stood beside the cypress tree, with neither sadness nor joy on his face, he stared at the grave without moving a step for a long time.

"Zeze."

Yang Bowen's voice seemed to come from far away.Duan Jiuze moved his eyes and looked at Yang Bowen opposite, as if he was meeting Yang Bowen for the first time, looking at him seriously.

Yang Bowen's face is still familiar with youth, and it seems to have a clean temperament between a teenager and a youth.However, if you observe carefully, you can find that there is a thickness and silence in those eyes that do not belong to young people.The silence was complex, distant, and struggling.

Duan Jiuze walked in the direction of Yang Bowen, step by step, little by little, and walked in front of Yang Bowen.

He carefully looked at Yang Bowen's eyebrows - the eyebrows that have appeared in every world, the eyebrows that he has never seen carefully.Now, it is the first time that I feel that there is a trace of fatigue in it.

Yang Bowen said, "Zeze, it will be over soon."

But he didn't say when it would end or how it would end.

The two stood silently for a while, and finally, Yang Bowen stretched out his hand and pulled Duan Jiuze back to the courtyard of the small town.

Lin Chuan and Wen Qian had already returned to Shenzhen in the afternoon, and there were only Duan Jiuze and Yang Bowen for dinner.

It had only rained in the town in the morning, and the damp and cold air continued into the evening.

But Duan Jiuze and Yang Bowen, who were sitting opposite each other, felt deserted, and no one was devastated when Grandma Duan was buried.

They all understand, even Grandma Duan may understand that this world is just a game, a game that can be reborn continuously.

Even so, extreme joy, or extreme sadness, seems to have no meaning.

"Zeze, let's go and see the scenery."

"?" Duan Jiuze looked at Yang Bowen in confusion, not understanding why Yang Bowen said this suddenly.

Yang Bowen smiled, picked up the teacup in front of him, but didn't drink it.

"So many worlds, maybe you have forgotten. I have taken you to many places and seen many scenery for you. From the beginning of our life to when we are old. From the dawn, By the end of the evening."

Duan Jiuze noticed that Yang Bowen said "take you with me" and "see a lot of scenery for you".Quickly going through it in his mind, Duan Jiuze remembered the world Yang Bowen talked about—in that world, Duan Jiuze was in a vegetative state, brought by Yang Bowen, and took many planes.

Duan Jiuze silently waited for Yang Bowen's next words. He knew that Yang Bowen's words must not have come from a whim.

Yang Bowen stopped talking at this moment.It's just that the extreme tension and relaxation in his body, as well as the inexplicable and contradictory struggles, were clearly revealed in front of Duan Jiuze.

Duan Jiuze took a deep look at Yang Bowen: "It's up to you."

Perhaps, this is the biggest clue Yang Bowen can give himself.As a person who stayed too long in the long dark night, Duan Jiuze looked forward to the arrival of dawn.

The itinerary along the way was carefully planned by Yang Bowen.

Every time he went to a destination, Yang Bowen would take Duan Jiuze to see the mountains, water, buildings, and deserts very seriously... Yang Bowen tried his best to leave their footprints in every place they passed.

Duan Jiuze was also extremely cooperative, following Yang Bowen's pace, allowing Yang Bowen to do whatever he wanted.

"Tomorrow we will go to the last city, the last one."

Duan Jiuze looked at the sea not far away, responded in a low voice, and said the name of the last city: "Moucheng"

Yang Bowen and Duan Jiuze sat side by side on the bench and said to themselves, "Yes, Mou Cheng."

Perhaps both of them understand that this last destination is likely to be the end of all this, so both of them seem too silent.

"Remember Gibran's Selected Proses and Poems. The first time I met you in the library, I looked at the page you turned, and the first thing I saw was 'Only love and death can change everything', and you see It is, 'It is impossible for man to reach the dawn except by the way of the night.'”

Duan Jiuze didn't answer, but he clearly knew which world Yang Bowen was talking about, because that world was so unique, only that world, Duan Jiuze had no memory of the period in between.That world, which belongs to the life of "Duan Jiuze", was forcibly pieced together by Duan Jiuze, not experienced alone.

In the distant sky, the light of lightning streaked across.

In Duan Jiuze's eyes, the dazzling light of lightning was clearly reflected.He suddenly opened his eyes wide, and the clues that could not be connected together seemed to be formed with light as a thread.However, the lightning passed extremely quickly, before Duan Jiuze could fully catch it, it returned to the gloomy sky.

Duan Jiuze turned his head and looked at Yang Bowen's side face. The emotion that he had never seen clearly finally became a little bit clearer.

In his memory, every time Yang Bowen's complex emotions hidden under the calmness surfaced little by little.

Yang Bowen suddenly turned his head to look at Duan Jiuze, their eyes met. The expressions of the two seemed to be unprecedentedly calm, but the torrent was hidden under the calm.Silence, like the calm before the storm, holds the beating heart fiercely with compelling tension.

"..."

Duan Jiuze clearly saw Yang Bowen's mouth moving up and down, and his eyes were like dark waves under a calm sea.

However, Duan Jiuze couldn't hear Yang Bowen's voice.

I could still hear the wind, the waves, and the occasional passers-by talking, but I couldn't hear Yang Bowen's voice.

Duan Jiuze suddenly grabbed Yang Bowen's arm, with a serious face.Not only because he couldn't hear Yang Bowen's voice, but more because of the uncontrollable panic in Duan Jiuze's heart.

At the moment when the lightning pierced the gloomy sky just now, Duan Jiuze vaguely realized that since the world is indeed as he thought, with Duan Jiuze himself as the center, what will happen after Duan Jiuze finds the truth?Will others still exist?

Duan Jiuze has lived in many worlds, but not everyone in every world exists.In some worlds, Duan Jiuze's grandmother has passed away long ago, in some worlds, Duan Jiuze's friends do not exist, and in the rest, there are many.

In memory, Duan Jiuze's feelings for Yang Bowen have accumulated over the years in many worlds, and it can be said that it is unshakable.However, in the world of amnesia, Duan Jiuze no longer remembers everything between him and Yang Bowen, and even now that his memory has been restored, his relationship is not as warm as before.

In other words, in the world of amnesia, what is erased is not only part of Duan Jiuze's memories, but also his feelings.

Just why?

Suddenly there were bursts of thunder from the sky, and then big raindrops fell, hitting people's bodies, not hurting, but cooling.

Duan Jiuze grabbed Yang Bowen's arm and watched the heavy rain quickly soak Yang Bowen's clothes.He couldn't imagine what kind of mentality Yang Bowen faced with himself when he remembered the past.Duan Jiuze looked into Yang Bowen's eyes. He couldn't deceive himself, and Yang Bowen was also wiped out of emotion just like himself.

Duan Jiuze seemed to see that Yang Bowen was still smiling through the continuous dripping rain, but Yang Bowen's voice had a strong nasal tone, and he said——

"Duan Jiuze, thank you."

Some things, even if we can't say it, we know it in our hearts.

Just like that page of the book, what we see in our eyes is our ending.

You are destined to walk through the worlds until the dawn.And for me, to change all this, there is only love and death.

How good, we still have love.Even if your feelings are erased and you no longer remember the intensity, it is still the dawn in my heart.

Looking at Yang Bowen's face, Duan Jiuze suddenly wanted to give up going to Moucheng, and he didn't want to chase the truth anymore. He just wanted to stay with Yang Bowen in the rain.He just wanted to be like this now, to be able to see and touch Yang Bowen.

Duan Jiuze suddenly pulled Yang Bowen up, and while walking towards the road, he said quickly, "We're not going to Mou Cheng, let's go home."

Pulled by Duan Jiuze, Yang Bowen staggered for a short distance and then stopped.He hugged Duan Jiuze from behind Duan Jiuze, thereby making Duan Jiuze stop.

"Enough is enough. Thank you."

"..."

"Duan Jiuze, thank you."

Duan Jiuze has never hated himself so much as now.Why do we have to look for the truth?Why do you have to care about the truth?Why... I still lost to myself.

Duan Jiuze closed his eyes and took a deep breath to suppress the various emotions that were constantly surging in his heart.

When the dawn was reflected into the room through the curtains, Duan Jiuze heard Yang Bowen say in a low voice: "It's dawn.": Duan Jiuze looked at the dawn without blinking, and didn't answer.But under the quilt, Duan Jiuze held Yang Bowen's hand tightly and never let go.

Looking at the ceiling, Yang Bowen pretended to be relaxed and smiled: "I have never been to Moucheng. This time, I might have a chance to see the scenery of Moucheng."

Duan Jiuze let out a muffled "Yeah"—even though both he and Yang Bowen knew it, these words could not comfort anyone.Because Mou Cheng is a shore that can never be reached.

Starting from the hotel, to the airport, but four 10 minutes by car.

Airports are always full of people coming and going.

From getting off the airport bus, to the hall, through the security check, to the departure hall, the white fog did not appear, and all the people were real and not drifting.

"Be good, baby. When we arrive in Moucheng, Dad will come to pick us up. We will see Dad soon. Are you happy?"

Duan Jiuze looked at a passing young mother holding a child, her face was filled with happiness and satisfaction.

"After all, it's the third anniversary of our love. No matter how busy we are, we still have to commemorate together. Mou Cheng is the witness of our love. Not only this year, but in the future, we will return to Mou Cheng for many anniversaries."

"You can talk."

"I'm wronged——I love you so much, but every word comes from my heart!"

"Okay, okay, I get it."

A pair of young lovers in the upper corner, spread dog food as if no one else was around, and the love atmosphere between the two was invisible to no one.

"Well, I see. You leave the planning to Landy, she's in charge of this...um...bye."

Wearing high heels and carrying a bag that matched the color of the shoes, the woman with good temperament sat down on the seat next to Duan Jiuze while answering the phone.

"Passengers, please pay attention, those flying to Moucheng..."

Hearing the sound of the radio, Duan Jiuze immediately stood up.He took Yang Bowen who was slower than him to get up step by step, and walked towards the boarding gate step by step.

Yang Bowen's hand was held so tightly by Duan Jiuze that it hurt, but he didn't intend to break free, and he didn't even snort.

Duan Jiuze watched the people walking in front of him walk into the cabin one by one, looked at the beautiful and decent stewardess who smiled and reminded every guest who entered the cabin, but when he held Yang Bowen's left hand, his left foot just stepped on In the cabin, everything in front of me disappeared in an instant.

Duan Jiuze clenched the hand of Yang Bowen, who was still real in his hand, and quickly turned his head away. He found that Yang Bowen was still there, and everything behind him was still there. Some passengers even looked strangely at Duan Jiuze who was not in the cabin.

"Zeze, let's go." Yang Bowen smiled and looked at Duan Jiuze intently, "The truth is right ahead, what we all know."

——We all know that maybe there will be no longer my existence ahead.

Yang Bowen looked at Duan Jiuze who was still standing still, closed his eyes, and suppressed the sour feeling that came up.Opening his eyes again, Yang Bowen smiled brightly at Duan Jiuze, and said, "Look."

Then he passed Duan Jiuze and resolutely walked towards the cabin ahead.

Duan Jiuze watched helplessly as Yang Bowen walked past him into the cabin.

step……

The hand that Yang Bowen threw out first as he stepped forward, in front of Duan Jiuze, was like that plane, going from nothing to nothing in an instant.

two steps...

Yang Bowen walked towards the cabin, tilted his head, smiled and said the last sentence in Duan Jiuze's ear: "Zeze, thank you."

Three steps...

The hand that had been holding Yang Bowen tightly all this time was finally empty.

Duan Jiuze unconsciously moved his empty right hand, where there was no longer the warmth of a tight grip.On the side of the cheek, a tear rolled down several times, slid to the jaw, and finally fell to the ground.

"Yang Bowen..."

With his right hand clenched into a fist, Duan Jiuze walked into the transparent world without changing his expression, leaving the noisy world behind him.

Although it is transparent, it seems as if it is walking on flat ground.

So, what is this?This is real?A completely transparent world?

"Sure enough, I still lost to the character I set. I don't want to give you a few more worlds."

The sudden voice came from all directions, as if it melted into the air, and passed into Duan Jiuze's ears.

Duan Jiuze has only one question: "What is the truth?"

The owner of that voice seemed to chuckle for a while, and after a while, Caiwen asked irrelevantly: "Isn't the love with Yang Bowen real? Is the family relationship with Duan Zhongming and Wang Qin not real? And Lin Chuan and Wen Qian Isn’t the friendship between them real? Isn’t it true to constantly look for Yang Bowen and live with Yang Bowen? Isn’t it true to adopt Yang Bowen and spoil Yang Bowen? Isn’t it true that you have lost everything now?” Wei Wei paused, The voice said again: "Perhaps you should ask 'what is truth'."

Duan Jiuze stood in the same place coldly, and said slowly: "In the world that lost the memory in the middle, you have already met me. At that time, I have already found the truth. But you made me forget to talk to Yang Bowen. The relationship between them was once again lost in the pursuit of reality. It’s just that you probably didn’t expect that Yang Bowen, even Wen Qian, Lin Chuan and the others gradually had memories of the previous world—although they couldn’t tell me directly. "

In the air, the voice came again: "So that's the case. I said how did you know so quickly, even if I deliberately removed the memory for you, you can return to the original point so quickly. Unfortunately, some people in this box exist I can't figure it out either."

In the last sentence, the tone of the voice was slightly lowered for unknown meaning.

"Where is Yang Bowen, where are Lin Chuan and Wen Qian?"

"Unexpectedly, with your character, you would still ask this question. Shouldn't you know where they are? Because they are all around you."

Duan Jiuze looked around subconsciously, but there was nothing but air.

"From nothing, to nothing."

Duan Jiuze sneered and ignored it.

That voice didn't sound again for a long time.

Time seems to be a useless thing.Here, too, there is no meaning.

Duan Jiuze didn't know how long it had passed, he heard that voice coming from directly above——

"It's better to start again. This time..."

What else was said later, Duan Jiuze couldn't hear clearly.But he found that following these words, his whole body became stiffer, starting from his feet.

Duan Jiuze looked up at himself when his neck could still turn, but saw a face exactly like his own.However, before the surprise in Duan Jiuze's eyes faded away, Duan Jiuze was already unable to move, and even this time, he was no longer conscious.